Jesus, Muhammed and Buddha walk into a bar. What happens next?

Question

JonnyTrauma · Accepted Answer

Buddha goes and sits down peacefully. Jesus and Muhammed are chatting at the bar Muhammed pulls out a bag of skittles and asks Jesus if he would like some 😊 Jesus holds out his hand Muhammed tips the bag and they fall straight through jesus's hand 😠 Muhammed then laughs and laughs then turns to the bar and asks for a glass of water. As he's drinking Jesus touches the glass Muhammed then sprays wine from his mouth and leaves annoyed

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

they sit down and peacefully have a drink... meanwhile their followers argue and fight for centuries about what the drink orders mean in their personal lives

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Muhammed and Buddha walk into a bar Here, dear. Jesus would Not be Caught Walking into any of that Sort of Establishment. You didn't Hear what He Did in the City of Sodom and Gomorrah? xx

Lily_Pi · Accepted Answer

They look at each other and laugh about how damn gullible people are.

FreshOutaIdeas · Answer

Muhammad says to Yeshua (Jesus) "You know I hate your Christian followers but since your one of our prophets too, let's team up against the (((international clique))) and their (((central banks))) and destroy Israel..." Christ thinks of when the Roman's strung him up and this time realises how much his reformist sect of the Judea are hated by (((the original clique)))... And agrees.

Buddha stands there laughing sipping some Jack no.7, thinking to himself how the two bastard religions of the original Abrahamic death cult (((those mongol-turkic synagogue of Satan types))), are also death cultists and also need to be washed away for the materialistic, life hating systems of control that they are...

😳🔫👌

Az-Arm- · Answer

I walk in. Greet them and then see an atheist and throw up on him.

titania21 · Answer

First two definitely will check out every girl in the bar , Buddha is probably that friend who is shy and will just sit in a corner and drink.

TadCurious · Answer

Jesus and Buddha would want to know why Muhammad had sex with a 9 year old girl. (His 3d wife, Aisha, whom he married when she was 6, but I guess out of a sense of compassion waited to fuck her until she was all of 9 years old.)

Guzzzz · Answer

It's too costly so Jesus just makes everyone drink his blood as wine? or
The bartender asks each of them what they want.

Muhammad orders a glass of cranberry juice.

Jesus orders a glass of water, and promptly turns it into wine.

Then the bartender asks Buddha, "what do you want?"

Buddha replies, "Make me one with everything

SaoirseS · Answer

The bartender says “You guys are in the wrong place. The set for The Walking Dead is down the street.”

Prankster13 · Answer

Jesus asks for wine. And Muhammad says how drinking is bad.

So Jesus asks for water. And Buddha says nourishment comes from within.

So Jesus offers them living water from within himself. And they both say he's crazy.

So Jesus says "Fine. I'll leave you two dead next time." And walks out.

Ceramic_bloke · Answer

Well all my replies seem to be deleted instead of responded to.

So Ksvm73,

As hominem is a red herring fallacy. That means your argument is invalid.
Please try again using actual arguments and you might actually get somewhere.

OrallyFixated · Answer

Jesus, Muhammad and Buddha walk into a bar.  You’d figure one of them would have seen it.

anon4us · Answer

The end of the world cause they don't speak the same language and have a huge miscommunication creating the biggest war ever

bellybuttonfluff · Answer

Muhammed orders a soft drink, Buddha doesn't carry money and Jesus is thrown out for wearing sandals?

talltom94 · Answer

They all get along perfectly fine because they're reasonable people who don't hate people who differ in their beliefs unlike most of their followers

Desconhecida · Answer

Jesus asks for wine. Buddha asks for food and Muhammed asks for nothing because he is fasting.

0112358 · Answer

Jesus keeps the party going turning water into wine as required and sharing wine with his new friends.

Muhammed doesn't' drink.

Buddha walks the middle path, he has a couple drinks but doesn't get drunk.

Anonymous · Answer

Literally all the girls answers are so funny (minus this one) 🤣🤣 like only three of the guys responses are funny. Step up your game! 😉

dropkicknj13 · Answer

Muhammad calls them both heretics, Jesus pulls a rabbit out of a hat to try and impress them, and buddha just says whatever and goes back to meditation

5ara8ear · Answer

They have a debate on which of them is the most giving and loyal to their people, on which of their people is the most faithful and obedient as well as which of the three of them is the best.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Muhammed orders a glass of water, when he takes a sip Jesus will turn it to wine. Buddha : GOT'EM, LOL

Dargast · Answer

Jesus annoys the crap outta the bartender by ordering water which he turns into wine, Mohammed stares around nervously while muttering "this is so halal" and Buddha would freak out half the bar by levitating

TomatoeUnicorn · Answer

Buddha sits beneath the cask and reaches enlightenment. Jesus gets the barkeep more wine. [CENSORED CENSOR3D CENSORED CENSORED]

John_Doesnt · Answer

Jesus disappears because he doesn't exist, Muhammad says "You call this an Allah Akbar?" and Buddha says something profound and enlightening about the dangers of alcohol.

Anonymous · Answer

Buddha orders a beer, Jesus lectured him on the evil of alcohol. Mohammed kills the infidels and drums the beer when no one is looking.

torwulf · Answer

Jesus turns all the tap water into wine, then muhammed attacks Jesus with a broken bottle and Buddha is meditating to the side. After Jesus is killed by Muhammed, Muhammed kills Buddha as well. As warlords do.

genericname85 · Answer

Muhammed brutally murders the other to for not believing in Allah.

jaidee · Answer

It's a lie so nothing would happen. Muhammad would never walk into a bar.

MsMusic · Answer

They collaborate to smite you with all of their powers at once

damoM · Answer

Jesus denounces Mohammed as a false prophet. Mohammed tries to kill Jesus, a bar fight ensues. Buddha goes and locks himself in the toilet.

Mitch6192 · Answer

Jesus buys everyone a pint, cos' he's a proper nice guy

dolemite68 · Answer

The bar tender says get the fuck out 😂😂

VagabondNocturne · Answer

They get drunk and start bitching about how miserable life is. Just like everybody else does in a bar.

thatfiery1 · Answer

They say ouch and laugh at the fact all of them walked into a metal bar.

Trollfather · Answer

All 3 facepalm about what their followers are doing on Earth and killing each other in their name for no reason.

CountessSarah · Answer

Why? One of them can turn water into wine and the other 2 presumably don't drink.

A-man-22 · Answer

A religious war starts. All three question why the people don't abide but their religions rules of killing is bad. The people at war ignore them and keep fighting.

Jackblue · Answer

The people embrace Jesus as their savior, hang Muhammad, and rebuke the Buddha for arrogantly believing that men's sins can be washed away simply by meditation, following which the Buddha receives baptism.

ImagineSketchy · Answer

The three proceed to have a decent normal conversation. Nuff said.

CuriousOrator · Answer

Jesus turns the water into wine, muhammed solicits women to be wives and Buddha rubs the bellies of all the women and a few drunks with beer guts

grega239 · Answer

Jesus orders wine, buddha levitates and orders nothing. muhammed shocked by the selling of alcohol, screams allah u ackbar and blows up the bar... then marries a 9 year old...

TGFH-Satan · Answer

Jesus and Muhammed syart fucking and the Budda dies and becomes one with the universe.

greencarpet · Answer

I'm guessing a fatwa folowed by your untimely death.

Daechir · Answer

The bartender frowns, and says, "I need to stop drinking my own stuff. Now I'm hallucinating fictional characters."

Harshad70 · Answer

Three top leaders in same bar? Sounds like religious merger. I wish those three religion listed on stock market. Jesus would take over!

PolybiusIsReal · Answer

A crusade, a jihad and a fasting session

BiLuna · Answer

Jesus and muhammed will talk to each other and ignore buddha

Revolver_ · Answer

Muhammad bombs the bar and kills himself, Jesus and Buddha

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

The Lord Jesus starts preaching the gospel and people will get angry because darkness hates the light.

bobby1973 · Answer

They all laught at all the simply folk that he leaves at the bull shit they have been spouting over the thousands of years of fakeness

Anonymous · Answer

lol I don't know why but I burst out of laughter when I read that.

AM-205 · Answer

This sounds like a good joke... Maybe, "How was the trip?"

Partywithtom · Answer

The ambulance comes cause they all got knocked out from walking into a bar.

legalboxers · Answer

Jesus orders a Virgin Mary, Muhammed orders 12 virgin mary's and Budda orders a...

Anonymous · Answer

jesus would say he's there for beer, but, actually here's there for spirits jesus was supposed to be MY PEOPLES SAVIOR, not "Christians" I'm Jewish

HornetsFanAllDay · Answer

they end all the madness in this planet we humans call "earth"

Anonymous · Answer

The Jewish guy buys them drinks... It just doesn't happen!

pitzi · Answer

An explosion... sorry 😶

ENTP_EMO · Answer

They get kicked out because it was a gay bar

BryanTheLion · Answer

Jesus rubs Buddha's belly for luck wishing Muhammad doesn't cause an explosion

Clarke498 · Answer

They chill while everyone in there freak out and start fights...

Anonymous · Answer

Jesus orders a beer while Muhammad babbling about sin and Buddha stares at some Chic 🤔

Jesus, Muhammed and Buddha walk into a bar. What happens next?

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