Are Lebanese guys shy?

[Anonymous]

There is a guy at my university who’s an orthodox Lebanese. He was born in the US. I’m from the balkans/European.
We share same values somehow Lebanese and my country are the same in family values, even food!! I know him since early 2021.
Recently we shared numbers because of a school group chat I was able to message him with some school related questions. He replies to me right away , he is very kind to me , but I can’t tell if he likes me or not? I feel like he is shy.. recently he asked me to do the class project together at the library. I know guys are the same but I’m not aware of Lebanese guys? Do they date European girls? Do they take it slow with girls?

[Anonymous]

I'm Lebanese. Lebanese guys yes, will take things slow. Lebanese men also are traditional when it comes to courtship.

1. When you're hanging out, look him in the eyes for 3 seconds, then smile shyly, then look down. That's his signal you're interested.

2. Ask him questions about himself, his family, his life in Lebanon. Show that you are interested. If he replies eagerly, and shares even more info about himself than you asked, you know he's interested.

3. Open up to him and share some personal information. Tell him you like how easy it is talking to him. If he asks you questions, that's how you know he's interested.

If he doesn't ask you questions to get to know you better, then he's just being polite and isn't interested.

[Asker]

Thank you! At the moment I think he is being polite. I’m actually left on read in my last message it’s been 3 days now! And he hasn’t really asked any questions. We attend a hard school to maybe he is fully focused in school who knows.. but as for now he isn’t really showing any signs. Also I’m not bombarding him with too many messages since I was the one kinda starting this messages! And I don’t twang to be the one following him. To tell the truth I kinda gave messaging him a try because he did leave me an impression he was interested it’s hard to explain but it really felt like he was into me. During a lab practice he told me not he shy in a cute way i said I’m not shy and looked away then he said ok I’ll let you win this time.. which I found funny. I don’t know maybe because like him my hopes went high quickly lol. I mentioned he is orthodox but he is actually I believe catholic. I’m bringing religion up bc it’s my first time encounter Lebanese not a Muslim!

[Asker]

He also asked me to go and meet him and practice some questions. But now I’m debating maybe he said that simply to help.. again I took it as a sign :(

[Asker]

Guys are so complicated lol

[Opinion Owner]

He's a Maronite catholic most probably.

Lebanese guys are raised to be flirty with girls, so don't take it too serious. Find an excuse for why you need his help, and make sure it's only something he can do. Tell him that you appreciate his help and casually mention that it's a relief meeting someone who values family in the US.

If you ever do meet up in the library bake some cookies and bring them in a tapperware, fish one out and eat it. Offer him one and tell him you baked them and jokingly ask him to rate your cooking skills.

Interact with him in real life vs text.

Don't chase him. Don't have sex with him if you end up dating.

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply! Yes I know what you mean , I’m from the Balkan Eastern European so many similarities with Lebanese culture.. especially with guys! Ok I don’t mind about the religion unless he does!! but where I’m from is known to be a Muslim country but it’s like some practice it some don’t. I’m one of the family that sadly never cared about being a Muslim. I dot even know how to pray! We are European Muslims , but im proud of it. My country is very liberal with religions. I have cousins who are orthodox etc.

yes I figured he is playing around! I’m planning to message him soon and say I’m thankful of his help etc and if we can do qs together.
I don’t want to feel so down I’m ok with moving on whatever , but he is a good guy I can tell. Ugh like meeee😅🤦🏻‍♀️
Thank you for your tips
I might message you for updates.
Is it ok with you?

[Opinion Owner]

No problem! Maybe he has family pressures not to date muslim women, even if european, so maybe that's why he's not diving in?

Please do update me!

[Asker]

I can’t say much about the religion aspect. I don’t think he knows my religion.. yet. But that it’s very weird if I get asked because I don’t follow any by heart. But that can be a reason too i don’t know yet!!

Ok thank you ❤️

[Asker]

After 3 days of left on read he messaged me today and left some voice messages!! And I asked if he is at the school he said no he is home and asked where I was too!! 🥺 I am so happy just for basics like this what’s wrong with me🥺
I want to cry !!
I can see you are young probably early 20s, but I’m 30 he is same age to !! Maybe that’s why I’m so into this lol it’s like I have been waiting for him my whole life 😔

[Opinion Owner]

You’re still in the infatuated phase.

You’ll need to check if you two are compatible.

Be emotionally open with him about something - showcase a certain vulnerability (guys love that). For eg, mention how you might be 30, but sometimes you still feel like a kid inside. Tell him “I never told anyone else this - but because I feel like we have similar values, I feel like I can trust you and be honest with you about X Y Z”. Trust me Lebanese men love this.

Be open and authentic with your thoughts. Tell him you deeply respect his values, work ethic, and intelligence. Guys love to feel respected. So tell him you do.

[Asker]

Hi , it’s been a while I haven’t updated. I don’t know where to start but I feel sad overall. It turns out I’m 4 years older than the guy. He is 26, I’m 30. He looked very mature and same age as me I was surprised. He even thought I was like 25 Bc I look so young. So only the age alone broke my heart. I can’t tell if he likes me or not but I think I got friend zoned so I assume he doesn’t really like me much. when we met last time he told me I can ask him anything because I’m his friend. While helping me with some course project etc he told me “ it feel like you are my sister or no no better my Romanian girlfriend “ ! It was very confusing I don’t know what he means by this! ? It’s hard to decode him.
Also , I am hesitant to message him often. I don’t really message him. I have decided if it’s meant to be it will happen.
But I’m very heartbroken. That I wish I better never met him.

[Asker]

I also can’t come and bring it up that I like him the age itself bothers me.. he he says no I will be very sad. He is very extrovert and active I’m sure if he likes me he would say so.

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm looks like he’s giving you mixed signals. Don’t worry, we all hurt ourselves when crushing on someone. What matters is learning from the experience. I’ve been hurt like you many times by guys i was crushing over.

I know it can be scary being vulnerable and being so attached to someone. But that’s how we learn. You’ll be hurt for a while, no doubt. He probably respects you and values you if he’s telling you you can ask him anything.

You need to work on loving yourself more. Work out, work on your social skills (talk to guys you’re not attracted to, just to practice), join clubs, make interesting friends, dedicate yourself to a hobby that you like.

Guys and girls get hurt all the time when trying to pursue someone they like. If you want, write down a letter of exactly how you feel (angry? Ashamed? Confused? Like you missed out on something?), how you feel about him, how you feel about yourself. Then burn the letter.

Maybe you don’t have much in common. For a relationship to work, there must be more than just attraction. Maybe you don’t have the same plans for the future.

Avoid him, don’t contact him. Focus on yourself and try to forget him. You’ll find someone new closer to your age. And do update me!

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes with these extroverted types, they flirt around with anyone. The thing is, some people are flirts and it’s their personality.

I remember i was shy and had insecurities and would “read a little too much” into my interaction with my crush. I felt ashamed for reading too much into it at first, then I realized it was because I had low self-esteem. Now that I love myself more and am confident in my ability to attract the men I like (after spending 2 years just focusing on myself, doing things I like, working out, taking care of myself, etc). I get less hurt when things don’t work out. There are many fish in the sea!

[Anonymous]

Orthodox what? Greek orthodox? Orthodox jew?

[Anonymous]

No i dont think so