Why would God give my brother a special talent that would get him a girlfriend and not me?

[Anonymous]

So almost 4 years ago now, my little brother (who is 6 years younger than me by the way!), got a girlfriend at the then-age of 21. I was 27 at that time and still didn’t have a boyfriend yet. My parents explained that for getting a boyfriend/girlfriend (in adulthood), “you have to have something to offer!” But in my 20s, I didn’t have “anything to offer” as a potential girlfriend, because I was so busy being obsessively stuck on the fact that I messed up on my career choice, causing me to be always sitting around at home not doing anything, and not even functioning like an adult (because I was obsessively “stuck”). But that didn’t happen to my brother because choosing a career path was so “automatic” for him because he has a special talent for “opera” singing, so naturally he chose to go to college for that and do that for a living. And now he is about to propose to that girlfriend and get married, and I’m still single 😥. And this is all because he has a “magic” talent that automatically got him a career path, and I don’t 🙁. And one time after he did some singing at a church, the church’s priest was chitchatting with my parents afterwards about how talented he is and said something about it being “a gift from God”. So, why do you think God gave him a special talent and not me, ultimately leading to him having a partner when I don’t? 😓 It’s hurtful.💔 I feel like God loves him more than He loves me! 😢

By the way, I don’t want any answers from atheists! 👿 I have nothing against atheists, it’s just that I don’t want to see any answers from any of them. I want this question to be answered by Christians ✝️ only, thank you!

Updates

1 y

WHY IS NO ONE ELSE ANSWERING!!! 😡😡😡😡😡

Updates

1 y

I’m sick and tired of waiting for people to respond on here!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

[dreamstar72]

Are you healthy if so that’s a gift. You must be smart that a gift. There must be someone you are interested in (this is 2023 ask someone out). If you think god has let you down take a trip to a rehabilitation hospital/center. Help in your church, join the peace corps, find a club to join, volunteer.
I was in a bad accident. Spent almost six months in the hospital and it was a unbelievable experience. Did god leave me down no because 4 years later he made me notice a beautiful girl who became my wife and then came a beautiful daughter.

[MementoMori777]

You have a talent, God gives everyone talents, you just seem to not fully understand your full potential on that special talent.

[Asker]

@MementoMori777 I love your answer, I really do 👍🙂, but the thing is… my brother’s talent helped him get a girlfriend, and my talent (whatever it is) didn’t help me get a boyfriend. 😞

[MementoMori777]

But who says it can't tho? I'm pretty sure it can if you use it right, because I'm sure your talent can catch a man's interest, whatever it is.

[Asker]

Well I don’t know if you read my whole question description, but it says, “I didn’t have ‘anything to offer’ as a potential girlfriend, because I was so busy being obsessively stuck on the fact that I messed up on my career choice, causing me to be always sitting around at home not doing anything, and not even functioning like an adult (because I was obsessively “stuck”).”

[MementoMori777]

That's a delusion you created out of your frustrations, I don't believe it, I know you got something to offer, just cause you believe you don't, doesn't make it true, cheer up.

[Asker]

I appreciate your suggestion to “cheer up 😃”; that’s kind of you. But I don’t think you understand what happened: when I realized I had messed up on my career choice, I was obsessively “stuck” on it, to the point where it actually kept me from functioning! I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, so being stuck on this kept me from doing ANYTHING! Not working, not learning to be responsible enough to live on my own, not cleaning up after myself, even personal hygiene 😳, not even much exercising, you name it. Being “stuck” on the fact that I messed up on my career choice, really messed me up. So that’s why I had nothing to offer, and I’m not just imagining that, because my parents even said so.

[MementoMori777]

Technically you are your worst enemy here because you believe you are stuck, you can start fresh, new everything, new career, new hobbies etc. You are letting this compulsive disorder chain you up and keep you 'stuck' don't let it control your whole life, after all we are suppose to get back up when life knocks you down, you really will be stuck if you get unmotivated by the obstacles in life.

[Asker]

Again, beautiful reply 👍, but the thing is, this didn’t happen to my brother because he automatically had a career path thanks to his “magical” talent. 😖

[MementoMori777]

You might have not even found your special talent, what is your brother's magical talent?

[Asker]

“Opera” singing

[MementoMori777]

And what's your special talent?

[Asker]

Isn’t it obvious that I don’t know of a talent I have? 🙁

[MementoMori777]

Then it's why you must find your talent, what are your hobbies?

[Asker]

The problem is that my brother’s talent was easier to discover than mine is, whatever the **** it is. 🫤

[MementoMori777]

You'll find it, you gotta look tho and that's through hobbies, find things you like first and then try to grow a skill at it

[Asker]

My brother’s singing talent didn’t have to be “looked” for; as soon as his voice changed during puberty, it was obvious that he could sing 🎤. 😖

[MementoMori777]

He did have to look for it cause how did he find out how to sing? Lol

[Asker]

Well he discovered it because he happened to already be in his school chorus in middle school. But guess what? So was I when I was the same age! (Even in the same middle school, just at different times because I’m 6 years older). So yeah we both did the same “activity”, but it led him to “find a talent” and not me. 🫤

[MementoMori777]

Your talent is most likely not the same talent, you won't find unless you seek tho so how do you ever expect to find anything if you rather not look for it

[Somebody12]

maybe your not meant to get a boyfriend yet dont rush into a relationship is sounds like you just want a boyfriend to say you have one thats probably why he hasn't done anything

[Asker]

@Somebody12

As I asked you above (I don’t know if you will see this reply or that one first), how do I sound like that?🤔🤔🤔🤔

[PragmaticProfit]

It's essential to understand that life is full of various experiences, and everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses. Comparing yourself to your brother may not be helpful or fair to yourself. It's not uncommon for siblings to have different talents and achievements, but it's important to remember that each person's journey is unique.

Regarding your belief that your brother's talent is the reason he found a romantic partner, it's crucial to recognize that relationships are complex and multifaceted. They aren't solely based on a person's talents or career success. Emotional connection, shared values, and mutual respect are all important factors in a healthy relationship.

As for the idea of God giving talents to some people and not others, many people believe that everyone has their own unique gifts and that it's up to individuals to discover and nurture them. It's possible that you haven't found your specific talent yet, or you may not have had the opportunity to fully develop it.

Instead of focusing on the perceived inequalities in your life, try to shift your perspective to focus on your strengths and what you can do to improve your situation. Consider exploring new hobbies, interests, or career paths that you may be passionate about. This can help you build confidence, meet new people, and potentially discover hidden talents.

Lastly, it's important to remember that finding a romantic partner is not the ultimate measure of personal success or happiness. Focus on developing yourself and nurturing your well-being, and the right person may come into your life when the time is right.

[PragmaticProfit]

Romans 12:4-6 (NIV)
"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us."
This passage highlights that everyone has different gifts and functions, emphasizing the uniqueness of each individual.

1 Corinthians 12:4-7 (NIV)
"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good."
This verse also emphasizes the variety of gifts that people possess and how they are all important for the common good.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
This verse can serve as a reminder that each person is uniquely created and should embrace their own strengths and qualities.

Matthew 6:33 (NIV)
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
This passage encourages individuals to focus on their relationship with God and trust that their needs will be met in due time.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
This verse offers encouragement to seek God's guidance and peace during times of uncertainty or struggle.

[Asker]

@PragmaticProfit

So then, what do you think my parents meant by “You have to have something to offer”?

[Asker]

@PragmaticProfit

I have another question too: ever since… well, a few years ago, I have been feeling romantically lonely, so I have been viewing relationships as being about “wanting to be with someone”, so that you don’t feel romantically lonely. So by you saying above that “relationships are complex and multifaceted”, do you mean that they are about more than that? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

[Asker]

And thanks for making me wait a whole day for an answer! I’m back to being mad at God again because I ran out of encouragement!

[Somebody12]

god has a purpose for everyone just wait and pray and your faith in god will show through

[Asker]

@Somebody12

As I asked you above (I don’t know if you will see this reply or that one first), how do I sound like this?🤔🤔🤔🤔 “you sound like you want a boyfriend as a flex or an accomplishment”

[Somebody12]

because no matter what everyone says you say well okay its not helping me get a boyfriend though a boyfriend shouldn't be veiwed as an acomlishment itherwise its not a real relationship if all you focusing on is i hve a boyfriend

[Somebody12]

sory my keyboardis being weird

[Somebody12]

just stop being jealous of your brother wait until you find the right guy maybe you dont need a boyfriend right now

[Somebody12]

you dont want to rush into a realationship trust me its usually never good

[Asker]

@Somebody12
No offense, but I don’t think you understand that I feel LONELY 😩 because of it. 🙁

[Asker]

And thanks for making me wait days for an answer! I’m back to being mad at God again because I ran out of encouragement!

[LiamJHayden]

Gifts are given as God sees fit.

[Asker]

@LiamJHayden

May I ask what you mean by that?

[Asker]

And thanks for making me wait days for an answer! I’m back to being mad at God again because I ran out of encouragement!

[Anonymous]

Have you considered a traditional wife role?

[Asker]

May I ask what you mean by that?

[Opinion Owner]

House wife/home maker

[Asker]

I still don’t get it… do you mean, like, instead of getting married?

[Opinion Owner]

No, looking for guys who want a housewife. Marrying him and not getting a job.

[Asker]

This has nothing to do with the question I asked about God giving my brother a talent and not me.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you considered that your talent isn't a job skill?

[Asker]

But unlike my brother, I messed up on my career choice.

[Opinion Owner]

That doesn't mean you can't fix it

[Asker]

But unlike me, he got a partner and I didn’t, BECAUSE he didn’t mess up on his career choice like I did. 😞

[Opinion Owner]

You can still find a guy

[Somebody12]

i dont think your even mature enough for a relationship you sound like you want a boyfriend as a flex or an acomplishment how are you over the age of 20 and this imature

[Asker]

@Somebody12

“…you sound like you want a boyfriend as a flex or an acomplishment”.

Seriously, HOW do I sound like that, may I ask? 🤔 I don’t mean this as an argument, I’m just really wondering what about my question and/or the details makes it sound like that? 🫤