Search Results: commitment

People are only faithful to their partner, because they don't have a choice otherwise or feel compelled to by their upbringing. The options are typically "get one person and sleep with them" or "stay single and sexually frustrated". Some people can sleep with whoever they want without needing commitment, but most cannot. Monogamy is a sort of a "necessary evil", not an intrinsically "desirable outcome".

“But it’s good for children”, you might retort, “having parents’ partners go in and out of their lives is bad for their development” and that is the only time, where monogamy becomes relevant. Imagine, if you will, that the population is rendered immortal and/or never ages. Reproduction is now immaterial, because you have an indefinite lifespan. Changes the equation quite a bit, doesn’t it? If there’s no need for children, but the urge to f*ck is still there, why not pursue it completely and relentlessly? Enjoy pure pleasure, as much as possible, without restraint or complication—granted, we’d have to eliminate all STIs, but I digress.

All of which is to say, if every person alive could enjoy an entire population of their choosing, having sex with as many different people as often as they desired, vs settling down with just the one, why would anyone choose the latter over the former? Nobody would limit themselves, if they didn't have to. Monogamy is forced upon people.

Do you agree with this idea? Why or why not?

I went through this about 10 years ago. My then 25 year old girlfriend made more than me when I was 32. But at the time I was pursuing a dream (I was a professional athlete) and I my time was consumed with training. I was no dead beat but I just had a different focus at the time.

I was doing freelance work just to pay the bills and I was struggling. She even offered me money at one time (which extremely kind of her) but it I turned it down out of pride and went further in debt.

Anyway the insecurity was on my side when it can to this (also contributed to our break up). She didn’t care but I did. It had a lot to with being raised to “be a man” when it came to being a breadwinner.

Nowadays I make a lot more money given I’m retired from my sport and have full focus on my career. But I am also a lot more “boring” now since I’m no longer the free wheeling adventurer I once was.

But money is a touchy issue. Form a evolutionary perspective I really do believe most women still subconsciously expect a man to provide for them even it’s unnecessary or impractical. They might get into short term flings with guys who offer other benefits (looks, excitement, adventurer, personality, etc) but when it comes to long term commitments they have a much higher bar on this

I also believe when a woman makes more money then her boyfriend/husband she’s more prone to cheating. Especially if she is comparable to him when it comes to looks (maybe she will stay loyal if she’s physically unattractive compared to him)

In fact I believe it’s unfairly more socially “acceptable” for a woman to do this given the guy is considered a “chump” if he is financial dependent on her. More more acceptable then vice versa.

I have a divorced uncle who worked a low paying his entire life and was supported by his (comparably) rich wife. She was no multi millionaire but she earned a lot more than him.

She ended up cheating on him the entire marriage. He tolerated it because they had kids and he needed support.