Search Results: stay or move on

I met Brad in Nov 2023 through a dating app & we were long-distance until I moved closer to his city in March-June. We were living together & things were going alright. Whenever we had issues, they tended to get resolved relatively quickly. A few people were worried that he was controlling since all his exes said he was manipulative, etc. He proposed to me in May.

My sister came in June to move me back home unexpectedly since I was done with school & I didn't tell my family about him beforehand, so that was the first time they had met. She didn't like him for various reasons. We left so he could meet the rest of my family & they didn't like him either for multiple reasons. Brad was expecting me to leave with him that day since we agreed/made a plan. I chose to stay with my family because my mom said she needed me due to a heart issue & they wanted to do a party that honored them in the community. Brad felt betrayed & still is holding onto it to this day.

This whole time, it's been a rollercoaster between Brad & me since he feels like what I'm doing is wrong, there's no reason for us not to see each other physically until the party, & my family is using the party in Sept as an excuse to end/separate us. I spoke with my mom recently & she agreed it was an excuse for the last couple of months since she hoped we would end by now. Since we're still together, she is now working on it, but I feel betrayed, don't want to do it anymore, & want to leave to be with Brad, even though that would put me in a tough position if we were to divorce since my family would disown me.

Brad has also tried to leave the relationship a few times & followed other girls on social media since he was upset about all this. He said that the party needed to happen this month, as my mom promised, or else he'd end the relationship seriously unless I left to be with him. My mom went to the venue, and their available date is Dec. I don't know what to do; please help, i miss him :(

I met a guy named Brad back in Nov 2023. We were dating long distance until March-June when we began living together and got engaged in May. I was in school at the time and got dismissed, so when my family found out, they sent my sister to move me back home. My sister met Brad for the first time because I hadn't told them I was with anyone until then. She immediately didn't like him because he doesn't make much money and his house looked very run down. She basically said I had no choice but to come home because my mom wasn't doing well, and we all left the same day so Brad could meet my family. Me and Brad promised each other I would leave that day to be with him.

While I watched him interact with my family and heard their concerns, i thought it would be best for me to be at home for the time being since my mom just got a pacemaker placed and needed me to care for her. Brad threatened to end the relationship then, but decided later that he will wait because my family said they'd throw a small party and I'd move in back with him after that in Sept. He kept saying how me staying with family wasn't right the whole time, and how he didn't want to do the party anymore. I did not know what to do because we all agreed that the party was fine.

Now, it's been a day that he blocked my number and Instagram so there's no way for me to contact him. I do want to be with him in marriage because I care about him and don't understand why he can't do the party. Everyone is telling me varied things but do you think I did the right thing by staying with family and waiting for the party? Or do you think I should've just left to be with him by now? I thought what my family was doing was fair considering that me and brad are from different cultures and he didn't ask for my hand in marriage prior to the engagement either. Plus I had gotten dismissed from my program so I needed time to figure out a new career path too.

Would you rather:

- Be the one who has to stay behind, maybe to look for / or look after survivors, when there is a *massive threat inching closer* by the day, to your ‘safe area/site/ camp,’ and the majority of the group will move ahead to ensure other things are cared for?

OR

- would you rather be the one who has to go ahead alone, and venture to find a ‘safe place,’ while there are *threats all around,* and unpredictable situations outside of the temporary safe zone, where the rest of the group remains, and tries to recover from wounds, or other?

(Some Images Sourced from Google)

I met my partner on a dating app back in Nov 2023. We dated long distance (7 hours) until I moved closer to his city in March. We lived together from March to June, and he proposed to me in May. We didn't have many issues. I didn't tell my family about him because I'm South Asian and he's Hispanic, so that would've caused issues (forcing me to go back home).

My school dismissed me in May, so my sister came to move me back unannounced. She told my family he had a human trafficking house because it was in a smaller town with 2 dogs and owned 3 guns. She thought he was dangerous because he showed aggressive behavior, like throwing my suitcase across the room when she was grabbing my belongings to go. But, he and I didn't want to leave, we told her that, she didn't listen, he got mad, and threw the suitcase.

My sister begged me to come home since that was her only job, and my mom wasn't doing good. We all left the next day so he could meet my family, which didn't go well because they thought he was only hyperfocused on taking me back to his house rather than respecting their wish to have a family gathering before I moved back in. I decided to stay home because I saw how my mom needed me, which made my partner mad, and he threatened to end the relationship in front of them, making my family more uncomfortable.

My mom was planning the party yesterday but isn't doing it anymore because my sister started crying again about how crazy he and his home are. He doesn't want to do the party; he's telling me to come to him and forget about them since they're only worried about their happiness and not ours.

I truly don't know what to do. I thought my stay at home would've allowed me not to choose between him and my family, and after their party, everyone could move on with life. Now, my mom is figuring out if police can arrest him since she overheard our conversation about me possibly leaving before the party. I don't want to add more stress/problems to our lives. help.

I'll explain. Neighbor upstairs let her kid run, jump and stomp for hours on end. On top of her and 3 other adults in her household stomping, dropping things, staying up all sorts of night and I couldn't sleep, rest or relax in my place.

There's a lot of reasons why I couldn't find the place I wanted. The main reason is they've allowed me to break my lease and my lease is up soon anyway. I didn't want to renew and be stuck in hell.

So I found a new place (God is good 🙏🏽) and it's the top floor with nobody above me. It's a downgrade in comparison to my old apartment but doable. I just want peace. I figured I'd only have to be there for 1 year and can move and find an apartment that I think is more aesthetically pleasing for me down the line.

I plan on staying to myself and not making too much noise so the people below won't complain.