Search Results: changing for a guy

We got back together after a year apart. We slept together the first night then the second night I tried for sex and he said no.

He’d been seeing someone he wasn’t in a relationship with and told her it never would be before we got back together. I don’t know how soon before he slept with her anywhere from a day before to two weeks before.

When we got back together he instantly said he loved me and wanted me and him back together for good.
But then he rejected me the following day. We did speak before we slept together saying that we aren’t bothered about sex id rather sleep etc. then the following day when I tried he said im not in the mood we said this the other day that’s how we are.

But a couple of weeks/month into us and he said he wants it twice a day. He’s always been like this and has a really high sex drive. He was more or less like that with me before we broke up and got back together. We did have sex often and multiple times a night.

So why did he turn me down that night? Was it to do with the other girl? It wasn’t as good? Or do guys not work like that?
But then why would he after a few weeks/month want it twice a day and complain to his friends I don’t give him sex enough. It changed and I’ve started rejecting him

Was he trying to control me turning me down the second night since before we had sex loads? Making sure I knew my place?

Or was it about the other girl? I don’t know how often they seen each other. I just know the set up was only seeing each other. He made it clear there was no relationship but she was saying she was in love and he was saying it wasn’t like that on his side. Maybe he went every night to hers? I have no idea but I know they could have seen each other as little as the day before me and him to 2 weeks before

The backstory is a guy I met online over a year ago started acting different and friend zoned me some months after I found out his real identity.

I’m feeling hurt and I want him to know that but also open to talking through the issue if he wants to.

I came up with two different messages I’m thinking of sending. One is really long and the other is more to the point without excessive details.

We still talk regularly.

Which do you prefer?

A. Hey so there’s something that I’ve been wanting to share with you for quite awhile now.

I’m feeling confused and hurt knowing that you continued to engage in sexual conversations with me for so long when you were actually feeling wary of me. It really makes me wonder if you are being genuine with me at all.

As I said almost a year ago, I fully understand if you don’t want to talk now that I know who you are. But feeling like I need to pretend that I don’t know your name and having to wonder whether you’re talking to me just to avoid conflict makes me feel like the connection might not be natural anymore.

I know I can’t change your feelings, but I’m working on cultivating more self-love and that doesn’t negate mine. As much as I enjoy talking to you, unless we can talk this through and change our dynamic, I feel that I’m disrespecting myself by continuing to chat with you.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this!

B. Hey so I wasn’t expecting you to reach out after I left (website where we met) and after some thought, I think I need to let this friendship go.

I’m working on cultivating more self-love, and as much as I enjoy talking to you, unless our dynamic changes, continuing to do so is hurting my self-esteem.

Open to talking about it but also don’t want to bore you with a long message.

Take care 😊