Search Results: how often do guys think about their ex

Women are notorious for sending mixed messages and “shit testing” men. They say something is okay when it really isn’t. They want to see if the guy is self controlled and wise enough to pass the test.

However there are a few scenarios men are guilty of this as well. I can think of only two scenarios where men unfairly “shit test” women.

Shit Test #1: He pressures her to have sex early. She gives it up and he then later loses respect for her.

A lot of men judge women for being promiscuous/easy. If she initiating random sex with lots of guys that’s one thing. But if a guy pressures her to do it and she gives in (and enjoys it) then he really has no right to judge her. It was all his idea.

Yet there are some men who do this and frankly it’s a double standard bs. I actually stayed in long term relationships with all three of my past gfs despite having sex with all on them within 3 dates. One ex girlfriend said she would of done it on our first date (we did on the second) if I initiated. But I am actually glad I didn’t.

Shit Test #2: Telling her you don’t mind if she hangs out and talks (a lot) with other guys including exes. However when she does the man gets angry/jealous.

Jealousy is a tricky bastard. On one end a very controlling man is extremely insecure. He gets pissed off if another guy looks to long at his girlfriend or tries to chat with her (often the other guy doesn’t know she’s taken). It can actually be a compliment when other guys check out your girlfriend/wife JUST as long they are respectful about it. But when they cross a line it deserves an ass kicking.

On the flip side some guys seemingly don’t mind at all of their girlfriend/wife hang out with other guys and even do more with them. It’s like they are somehow demonstrating they aren’t controlled by jealousy.

But the truth is some guys “say” it’s alright when deep down they are not at all okay with it. It’s there way of “testing” their girlfriend/wife to make sure they really love them.

Who do you think learns from their mistakes - or even their partner's mistakes - and overall learns from their experiences in relationships with the opposite sex?

I feel like men do because you have guys out there who don't know what they had till it's gone, and that was a serious wake up call for them. And as dudes get older they will be honest and tell you how they messed up in a relationship. But also you have a lot of guys who were really very good to a woman and she was the one who took that completely for granted and walked away, and although it leaves those guys pretty broken, they eventually develop motivation from that breakup and do and become a lot better than where they were before. Even those videos from Coach Craig Kenneth profiled guys who wrote letters to him about their devastating breakup but how they later on became a lot stronger and were doing better things with their lives, and then that's when their ex girlfriends came back but the guys were no longer interested, or questioned if they even wanted to be back together.

I notice that women very rarely ever talk about mistakes they made in a relationship, how they regretted hurting the other person, or even how they could've done better. They will more often blame men for problems they had or for the bad relationship period, never taking any responsibility for their failures in it. They also tend to keep going back to guys who are toxic and don't even give a shit about them but turn their backs on guys who really do. I feel like the mentality of a lot of women is to just keep moving to the next guy and the next, or going back to what is problematic but familiar, instead of changing what's going on inside themselves.

But what do you guys think?

I know there are girls who do take responsibility for their actions and I know guys who don't but I truly feel it's common knowledge that girls blame guys way more often than the other way around. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Examples of reasons girls give for breakup:

Ex. He had a small dick.
Ex. He just didn't communicate and I found someone I connected with better.
Ex. He couldn't handle me.
Ex. He hung out with his bros and his family too often.
Ex. He had toxic masculinity.
Ex. He didn't give me enough attention and made me feel insecure.

The list goes on and though there are excuses guys give I believe guys take accountability more often. What do you think? Why?