Search Results: how to catch a cheater

I actually felt sad for this infidelity story I've once read at Reddit. It was written 2 years ago. The woman was 39 (she must be 41 by now) and her now husband cheated on her with a co-worker. He spent some of his wife's money on the affair and took her homemade meals and desserts to secretly feed the other woman. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 kids. He ended up having a mid-life crisis and supposedly wanted to see what it was like having sex with another woman, even briefly fell in love with the other woman. She forgives and agrees to marriage counseling. She felt she owed him one and clearly wants to save the marriage.

Flashback to 2002 when they were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

When the woman was much younger (then 19 years old), she cheated on her then boyfriend (now husband) with his best friend Tony. He caught her in a compromised position, both asleep in the couch with the TV running on. Supposedly the guy was in boxers and she was with jeans on but only with bra on top. Apparently they had already finished doing the deed by then and there was alcohol. It was an affair going on for 3 months. She's been repentant for all those years, never cheated again and was faithful as a fiancee and wife. She got forgiven and (yes he still proposed 5 years after the cheating incident, claiming he forgave her completely and wouldn't bring it anymore) they still got married.

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

On the woman's previous post, she actually is full of guilt all over again and feels she deserved it. Did she deserved to get cheated on 20 years later? She cheated in 2002 as a 19 year-old girlfriend with no kids. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 children?

A couple relatives in my family cheated on each other. The first cheater did it for whatever selfish reasons they had and got caught. Meanwhile the 2nd cheater did it out of revenge, in anger and it was all planned out, calculated with full intention of hurting them.

If you had to take your pick, which cheater would be worse? The selfish cheater or the vengeful cheater?

I'm impressed with my parents' endurance, given their past infidelity decades ago. Obviously I was too young to even form sentences at the time. Actually I wasn't even born when mom cheated first and they weren't married yet. Yup they still got married later on.

Mom got caught (on his couch with his former friend... the journal I read had the graphic details of it, more than what I'm even posting) and dad cheated back years later but at least he felt terrible and confessed himself shortly. I know they worked it out long ago. Though if the cheater got caught, can trust really be regained in that case? If they confess at least there is a small chance since the person came clean but if they got caught, that has to be nearly impossible.

Apart from the hard work they did, I would like to know how is the relationship like if they stay together. Can a human really be capable of forgiving and forgetting that and regain trust if they wanted to? Personally I don't think I can work that, no matter how much counseling sessions, no way I would overcome that.