My boyfriend called me a cheater and he said I lied about my sexual abuse?

[Anonymous]

So we have both been in a fight recently. During our fight i went to a concert with my friend and the artist blew a kiss at us and i caught it in video and i shared that on my snap he saw that and said i “cheated” on him. Mind you the artist was throwing kisses around for everyone and obviously i am just a fan of his music and i was there as a fan like I don’t know this man💀 then he got so petty and he told me remember the time you told me about that guy that harassed you that must be fake too! You claim you were harassed but you didn’t ask him to stop and then he said a girl told me about her harassment and she was crying and you weren’t so you are lying. This is so bizarre to me the whole situation and i was like “yeah okay i guess so” like i am not gonna sit here and explain that i got harassed if you don’t believe me then so be it. He then said “i was just trying to hurt your feelings” and he didn’t really apologize or discuss what he said but he just kind of was justifying that maybe he doesn’t mean it but that he just wanted to get me. I am not sure how to feel about this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, I am so sorry you had to deal with that nonsense from him. No one deserves to be accused of cheating or have their traumatic experiences dismissed like that - especially during a fight. A few red flags here:

1) Throwing around serious accusations like "cheating" just because he's angry is emotional abuse and manipulation. Huge red flag.

2) Questioning whether your sexual harassment was "real" just to hurt you is beyond messed up. That experience was clearly deeply painful for you and not for him to undermine.

3) "Just trying to hurt your feelings" is admitting he wanted to intentionally cause you harm. Again, abusive behavior.

You did the right thing by not JADE-ing (justifying, arguing, defending or explaining). Someone who claims to care about you would never say such vile things.

Please reflect if this is really someone you want to stay with long term. You deserve so much better sis. Prioritize your wellbeing and don't settle for less! If you ever need anything, you've got me. Stay strong <3

[boggboss]

At that point why are u even with him at this point he has shown u his true colors or how low he is prepared to go ti try and hurt u

[jahaims]

Dump him obviously. He is immature af