Search Results: he said it was a mistake

I'm hurting right now and very upset. My suspicious were confirmed just 2 days ago when my husband left his FB messenger open. It was messages between him and my SIL (sister-in-law). He admitted to her that he always loved his ex girlfriend Olivia from his much younger years. They met as 9 year-olds playmates, then dated for a short time in their Sophomore year of HS, she broke up the next year and met someone else.

The woman is married but still has him on his FB contact list as friends. He admitted to my SIL that he still loves her more than me. He loves me but I'm not really his first option. He would've wanted to have kids with her. He also said it was true what he once told me while drunk when we were just dating. Then this was the hurting part for me, the SIL asked if he would leave me if Olivia were to get divorced now and she reciprocated his feelings and he reply was a ''Yes, unfortunately I would leave (my name) but that'll never happen. I have to accept being in Olivia's forever friendzone''.

Flashback to the time we were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

We were drinking and while making love, he called me by her name. He literally said ''Oh Olivia, I love you... yeah''. Then tried to fix it right away when I got upset immediately. He called it a stupid drunken mistake and how we would never get drunk like that ever again and even reconfirmed me a bunch of times that he got over her already. I stupidly believed him.

Is this fair? We have a 7 year-old son and he's still obsessing over her? He never got over her and just got with me as second best.

So my bf’s been in a bad mood for a while now, he gets pissed at the little things that I do. I’ve been giving him space and distancing myself from him, I don’t bother him anymore other than just to have a quick chat sending funny videos, I don’t talk about my problems with him bcs he has a lot to deal with already, I even keep quiet and learned to take the punches he throws at me (not literally, emotional punches) and brush it off as him having an off day.

Earlier he got annoyed because I asked him a question about how his day was and he said that I’m being insensitive and annoying. I said “it was just a question, no need to be aggressive please”. Then he went to work, he then sent me a bunch of texts consisting of long paragraphs detailing my mistakes.

He does this a lot and usually I would respond with me explaining myself and how he took my actions the wrong way, I also always apologize and promise to do better. But then he would blow up and start an argument, he would also say “let’s drop this” and I’d say “okay let’s” but then he would proceed with prolonging the argument all over again… I know his pattern and I’m not gonna play along with it anymore so I simply said “Okay, I understand” and left it at that.

He then texted me back saying that he doesn’t believe me and that he needs reassurance that I won’t annoy him again. I just said “Trust me, I understand what you’re saying, I hear you”. Then he said “k.” I know he’s pissed when he responds with that. But I didn’t bother responding after that.

Did I do the right thing or was I being rude? I just don’t want him to weaponize my words to start another argument so I kept it simple and straightforward. Plus he already painted me as the bad guy anyway…