How do I behave at work after a break up?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend broke up with me bc of something I did (I acknowledged my mistake and apologized)... but now we have to work together. He said he could rethink his decision, but for now it is what it is.

I don't know how to behave. Plus there are a lot of things I want to tell him. I don't know if I should keep quiet and leave it or speak up.

And I don't know how he would act. We work desk to desk.

Are there any tips? I know this is pretty fucked up situation.

[strawberrybaby3]

I am currently going through the same thing and trust me I know exactly how you feel.


Do all the things I made the mistake of not doing.


1. Do not hound him for answers and bother him. Give him some space to miss you.


2. Keep all of your conversations professional for now. Me and my ex would start talking as if we were the friends we were before our breakup and it would just lead into the same thing over and over again until it lead to a massive argument where we can no longer be that way with each other.


3. You don’t have to ignore him or give him attitude at work, even if you’re upset with him. Be the bigger person and say good morning and goodnight and show him that you’re being mature about this and are respecting his decision.


4. Do not gossip about him. Co workers will want to know what happened and if you tell one , it’ll spread to everybody and you risk him finding out about it which will make this even worse.


5. After you’ve given it some time , since it seems like you still want to get back together, revisit that with him and ask him how he feels about the situation. But don’t do it at work, ask if he is free to speak on the phone outside of work or meet somewhere.

[Asker]

Thank you, it is hard to go through this, but I will try. I don't know how it happened. Maybe it was supposed to be this way.

[Asker]

Do you think I should speak up if he starts texting other women in front of me? It would be hard to deal with it.

[strawberrybaby3]

No I don’t think you should, because if he DOES end up doing that, it is to get a reaction out of you. And to be very honest with you, I do that in front of him and I can see it drives him nuts but if he really wanted me I’d drop them immediately for him, but unless he’s willing to change and admit his faults, I will continue to move on.

[rosemilk]

i always leave my home/personal life at home and my work life at work. you turn off your personal brain and go on work brain. i know it's hard, but it can actually help. feel your feelings only at home. that is your time to spend being sad. but once you're at work, you focus. it can help speed up recovery because you dedicate a specific amount of time for grief, and then move on to what you have to do in life. it doesn't leave you stagnant being sad. and each day, the amount of time you grieve of your breakup gets shorter.

[bededazzle]

keep it out of work as much as possible. you have to stay professional. i would keep quiet if you basically already said your piece. sorry for this situation

[Asker]

Well, we had 75 minutes long conversation pre end. So I pretty much told him everything. I'm not done yet, but I will try to keep it professional.

[boggboss]

Speak to him like he is just another worker dony bring your relationship into the work place to ensure no trouble

[ThrillSeeker01]

It happens. As hard as it might sound, just try to keep your mind on work.