Search Results: guys being mean

You know when you just have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days or every other day. Dating apps are the only way I’ve tried dating as I dont have a social life but dating apps have been successful for quite a few people I know. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. A lot of the time, I expect the guy to be a certain way from their profile & I just get disappointed because they’re so different even though they didn’t catfish me, am I being unrealistic? I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it (it’s always word of mouth).

Maybe this is an irrelevant comparison but I mean I can do everything in my life but find a LTR with a man like buy property, get decent jobs etc but what gives? I’m told I’m attractive but being pretty much 30…I can’t help but believe it really is bad luck.

I was interested in this guy in my program until we had this conversation. He said that he had a preference for women with pale skin and light hair. He said that he doesn't find black women desirable and that he's unattractive to them. For reference, he's white and I'm a black woman. When I told him that what he said hurt me, he got defensive and said he wasn't being racist and that it was just his preference (even though I never told him he was racist). He called me emotional and said I was guilt-tripping him.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on preference? I personally don't have a preference when it comes to race or skin colour. I'm curious, if you date someone who's not your preference, does that mean you're not attracted to them?