Search Results: lost the love of my life

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I initiate literally all our dates (the last time he planned something for us was probably 2 years ago), I usually am the one to initiate sex, I ask him how he is and about his day and he rarely asks me how I’m going, I sometimes talk to him and he actually ignores me. When he’s away working or on surf trips, I will ask him how he’s going but he never asks me how everything is back home. But he still says he loves me. And sometimes he says he misses me. We’ve broken up before because I’ve told him that I feel unwanted at times and that the live isn’t reciprocated and he didn’t really do anything to try and mend our relationship. I feel like I’m trying really hard now to keep our love alive but it feels so one-sided. I have even tried to back off because I don’t want to come across needy. I have my own life - my own hobbies, my own career, my own friends, and I do many things without him. I have been genuinely choosing to be with him because I want him, not because I need him. I love him very much but I don’t feel appreciated or valued and I don’t know what else to do. I’ve spoken and even cried to him about feeling unloved and he says he understands and that he loves me but that something might be wrong with him. When I ask him what he thinks is wrong, he doesn’t know. I’m 32 now and really want to find my person. I’m starting to doubt if he is the one for me but I still love him very much and want to make it work. But I also love myself and don’t want to waste my time if it’s obvious to everyone else that he’s no longer interested in me.

The first time I had a miscarriage I was wearing these red shorts and black tank top , when we went to the hospital and found out I wasn’t pregnant and could have happened few weeks ago and the second time it happened I went to sleep wearing the same thing and woke up to lots of blood from a miscarriage.

The difference between the two times

, one I was in a happy and healthy relationship, loved him , his family liked me , lived with him and life was fine and good. He didn’t blame me saying it was my fault for doing things he said I probably shouldn’t have.

This time , we don’t live together anymore, I love him he hates me and his family hates me for some stupid sh*t ( his grandma things I sold her family heirloom when we first broke up , but he why would I loved him. I didn’t yell and be stressed at my mom for not seeing and contact me in 6 years. I now hate him for his childish behavior, says he was only back together with me for the baby and now there is no baby doesn’t talk to me and can’t prove he said it was just for the baby. Had his friends text me asking for proof , but like if you aren’t gonna talk to me then you lost your rights to demand anything and can go f*ck yourself.

I can’t help it I have pcos and it’s harder for pregnancy, but I’m sorry I’m just not gonna not have sex for the whole 9 months because your overly worried, my doctor said it was okay to do