Search Results: being committed

I hate to say it but as man I usually have my mind made up within 30 seconds of meeting a woman of how physically attracted I am to her.

Emotional attraction does still weigh heavily into it though. She can be hot af but if I can’t stand her personality and/or she’s has no genuine interest in me I can move on. I can also move on a lot faster nowadays vs. when I was younger.

But the issue is often come across women I find that are 5’s or 6’s. They aren’t repugnant or anything but I don’t feel any butterfly’s in my stomach either. More often than not they really like me because while I am nice to them I also don’t bend over backwards for them either. I’m just as happy to be there or not be there. Either way is fine. So it’s easy to be myself.

But as a man I find that the ugly truth is I have never found myself growing in attraction for average looking women despite some of them having excellent personalities. I really have tried to “check myself” on this. Tell myself to look deeper. Tell myself to “grow up”. Feel guilty af about it.

But if tried to force myself to date and commit to average looking yet great personality girls in the past. It always ends in disaster. I quickly lose interest in sex and find myself having less patience about their problems. And I know that’s not fair at all.

Is it possible for a man to slowly fall in love with a woman he isn’t attracted to?

I am asking this because I have an opportunity to get married to an average looking girl who is outstanding in all other ways. She’s a very hard worker, respectful, excellent personality, moderate conservative, has no vices, etc. She’s also younger (27) yet mature and independent.

Yet she has a rather unattractive face and I feel Iike complete shit saying that. She’s was born with that those facial features and has zero control over them. I keep kicking myself not to judge that but it’s hard.

Over my life I’ve had to deal with all sorts horrible incidents with women. Being ghosted. Being (unannounced) friendzoned. Being stood up on dates. Being insulted over things I have little or no control over (physical features I was born with).

All of that sucked. However when I find myself in a role reversal situation I usually try to treat others how I wish I was treated.

For example when I broke up with last girlfriend I really didn’t want to see or talk to her. I knew she was going to go berserk and not take it well at all.

However my girlfriend before me completely ghosted me (after dating for 9 months). The girlfriend before that treated me like I was less then human we broke up (despite me maturely accepting her decision) and gave me virtually no closure. Some of the things she said to me back then still haunt me to this day

Anyway I planned to do neither to my last girlfriend. As excruciatingly uncomfortable/painful as it was I broke up with her face to face and the whole ordeal lasted over 2 hours. She screamed, yelled, cried, made a huge scene and culminated with her threatening to commit suicide. It got so bad her grandmother had to call the police to have her placed on psych evaluation. On one end I truly felt bad for her but another end she inadvertently gave me closure and helped me confirm I made the right decision. I look her up on social media form time to time and thankfully I know she’s still alive

So as horrible as that was at least I was able to walk away knowing I did the right thing. I gave her full respect and closure. Let her say everything she wanted to say. She can look back and know she got it all off her chest. I know that will help her move on faster.

However I have never once in my life had a woman give me that kind of respect. But still do people generally treat others worse when they are mistreated in romantic scenarios?