Search Results: get him to open up

So I’ve known my friend for a year through college classes, but we’ve only been friends since December, along with 2 other people. The first semester we met she had a boyfriend and I was getting over a serious 2-year crush so wasn’t interested in a relationship, but I knew I wanted to be her friend. I asked her, but she said no to being friends cause of her boyfriend. I was a little disappointed, but accepted it. The next semester we met again and started talking and hanging out more before our classes. I wasn’t going to be friends with her since I remembered she had a boyfriend and said no, but then I found out she had broken up with him and decided there wouldn’t be any harm in asking again if she wanted to be friends. Around this time I also noticed I was developing feelings for her. I emailed her saying I enjoyed spending the two semesters with her and asked her if she wanted to be friends and gave her my number in case she did. Few minutes later I got a text from her that said and I quote “I really enjoyed spending the semesters with you too and I’d love to be friends with you!” Since then we’ve been texting all the time, but haven’t been able to hang out since becoming friends cause we’ve both been busy. I want to tell her I like her and got her a Valentine’s present (a mug that says “you’re the best” and a small box of chocolates). I’ve read/heard that it’s better to get your feelings out in the open asap, but we’re also still getting to know each other, so should I go ahead with telling her I like her or wait a bit and do I still give her the Valentine’s gift?

For the record I am definitely guilty of:

• Posting about politics (often)
• Using profanity
• Getting in heated (even hateful) arguments
• Talking in depth about dirty/explicit sexual topics for entertainment. However I do much less of that nowadays.

But I remember first posting on GAG literally 14 years ago. Back then it really was more focused about dating and romance issues. Never posted about politics or anything unrelated outside men and women interacting.

I was also more open back then. This included admitting difficult (and embarrassing issues). Insecurities I was struggling with. But nowadays I’m rarely if ever that open. Reason being I am usually not in the mood to get blasted by some idiot troll.

Anyway I got in a real heated argument with one person on GAG yesterday. She unnecessarily hit a very deep nerve with me at the wrong moment. I responded back with sheer vitriol and wished the worst on here (which I later recanted). It wasn’t productive for anyone either way. Not good for her. Not good for me. Not good for anybody who read it.

However that made think harder. What if there was version of GAG that:

• Didn’t allow any slurs, labels, insults, explicit profanity. You can still post it but it the word will immediately get censored.
• Only focused on relationship issues
• Would only allow a PG version of sexual issues
• Wouldn’t allow any postings/opinions about politics (no matter where you stand).
  
  

Sure it sounds really boring and dull at first. But I can’t help but wonder how many people give up on this website at some point. Especially women. Or how many people come here just to “ventilate” vitriol. Or how many people come here for “talk” porn.

What about people who just want to post honest questions and get honest (respectful) responses. A respectful response isn’t always what you want to hear but what you NEED to hear. The difference is knowing the poster really wants to help you vs. enjoying throwing shade.