Search Results: improve self

"Look at her... she's so pretty!!"
"Why aren't you like your brother, he's smart."

I'm not sure this is just Eastern culture. It seems like complimenting the third person in order to compare your partner, kid or friend is a trick to motivate someone to improve themselves. But does it work?

For me, as the 3rd person, this behavior could bring me troubles, eg. the persons being compared turned to me instead of taking actions to change something about them. I know they're upset and then became rude and criticized me (at the first time we met). That's why I don't feel good when a married man/boyfriend compares their partner with me. It actually causes more self-doubt because I'm still single. Above all, I prefer to have other ladies to be my friends, not enemy.

If you have been compared, how do you feel, REALLY?

Would you confront the person who does so, and tell him or her about your feelings and thoughts?

i confessed my feelings for my online bestie the other day. we've known each other for about only one and a half months but i found myself already liking him that way and wishing we were together as partners, not just besties. this is rare for me, as i've rarely had a crush. we are very compatible and my intuition has been telling me he's the one. both of us havb never been in a relationship yet even though we're uni age. at the very begging, we used to be flirty and playful and he even said he might already like me romantically too, but after a few days, he said he rushed into it a bit too much just because he assumed getting into a relationship would make him feel better but he realized he'd first have to focus on himself through selfcare and improve his self confidence and stuff before getting into relationship and he's not ready for it, especially long distance. also, he said he doesn't know if he really likes me romantically and he's learned not to fall in love easily online from his past experience. i then asked him if there's any chance we could be together in the future after we meet up (probably next year, this December at the earliest but next summer is more likely, but neither is set so i can't be sure ) , but he said he doesn't know because the future is unpredictable to anyone, which is true and he also kept saying he doesn't want me to wait on him since when we meet up and he decides we can't date i'd get hurt and he'd feel bad for making me wait only to get rejected after all in the end and he just wants me to be happy. but i can't help hoping we can be together in the future. should i completely move on from now already ( it'd take time ofc, but i'm resilient so i think i can train myself over time to move on and just stay besties with him ) or is it okay for me to let myself continue liking him that way and secretly wait for him to judge when he comes to my country sometime hopefully next year.

Usually seems to make them less honest more toxic macho or just cringe 😬!

Had to help both my brothers who tried self help. Some sisterly advice got them so much farther, and dates, and gfs!