Hey, 24 years old girl here.
I dated men, have been in a long term relationship as well, and with literally everyone while I always got men I found attractive, internally I never felt desirable enough for them. That was mainly the problem and the lowkey reason I could not maintain relationships.
I feel like I need to improve myself to a certain level in order to feel attractive. Whenever I see a handsome guy, and then they like me (and actually lots of guys end up flirting with me, falling for me and liking me/loving me), I could not trust them fully because I never found myself 'worthy' enough for them. And you know, whatever you feel, you attract - I ended up being told by them that I'm not enough? I feel like it has a lot to do with my self esteem and the way I treat myself, even though at first I do appear as attractive. It makes me feel like they never really fall for my appearance, but me as a person. I feel like I'm very average and 'ok', and my guys are really attractive.
So what can I do to solve this? Now I'm single and very focused on myself, improving myself, looking prettier and feel more attractive. But I don't fully trust guys who hit on me. Whenever someone comfesses their feelings, I feel like I need to avoid getting physical because I don't feel attractive enough.
From your experience, what are the steps to feeling 'enough'? What can I do to solve this problem?
I consulted with psychologists, but it's still in mindset I think. I'm just looking for the powerful shift in my self-esteem.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Guys mostly don't give a F about look in releationship.. can you cook? Can you clean? Can you control your anger or you are crying , screaming and making scenes every time? Are you chaotic or you make your man feel relaxed at home so he can switch off and enjoy the time with you in peace.. that's what really matters for every man.. you can be the most beautiful supermodel 9/10, but you will never be enought if you are not " wife material" .. you wi get old and ugly anyway, so focus on your personality and what you can bring to the table as woman.. make your man appreciated, respected and loved.. then you will realize, that look means nothing to any man if you are good woman
Confidence needs to be built up over time, sounds like you're not getting that
Stop judging yourself on what attention you get from men. Most are not worth your time.