Search Results: no response from him

I matched with a guy on tinder and after texting for a few days we decided to meet up. It went so good and I feel like we both genuinely vibes and I got the sense that I could trust him (which has never happened to me before). After the date his response times increased and we were texting back and forth multiple times a day and the conversation was engaging on both parts. We made plans to meet when we both got back from our vacations but haven’t set a date yet.

Its the Christmas holidays now and he went on vacation with a friend and his response times have dropped, i expected this because obviously you’re gonna be more busy and on your phone less during the holidays and my anxious attachment is really self sabotaging me right now making me feel like he’s going to ghost me (it’s been 13 hours since my last text and no word from him). There’s only an hour time difference between us so that’s not really an issue.

please let me know if im overthinking or not thank you!

So I’ve had an online friend for a few years and he started wishing me a happy birthday every year after we got to know each other a little better. There were times where he would & I wouldn’t, when that were the case, he’d follow up a few days or maybe a week after saying I forgot it was his birthday (more subtly). Last year, he wished me a happy belated & this year I decided to also be more laid back. I just asked him if he had a good birthday maybe a day or two after it actually happened, I sent him that message after he followed up with me about something else. He leaves me on read yet continues to view my IG stories.

This has always been the case, he’s always one of the first to see my stories but may go weeks without msging me. A few years back, he’d literally go weeks without replying but will be the first person to see my stories or comment. But when I’d take long to get back to him, he’d *jokingly* say that I’m ignoring him or ask if I’m busy. Honestly I don’t feel like I did anything wrong so I don’t see the need to reach out, it just seems hypocritical. You can be busy but I can’t? He hasn’t made a comment like that in years & his response time has gotten better. I have a tendency to delete people when my frustration has built up, I don’t know if it’s an avoidant personality style trait.

I just…couldn’t bring myself to confront him and ask if he was upset with me. I just felt apathetic yet hopeless in a way, even though I had total control. It’s been over 5 months since I heard from him and we’ve never gone that long without talking, so I took a hint and removed him (unfollowed him/he’s no longer able to follow me) from my IG. He’s still on FB, gaming app & linked in but those platforms are a lot less personal. Now I officially have no “friends” and at 30F I should be A LOT more upset but it’s more worrying about how I’m perceived. Is avoidant attachment the cause? Or excuses and I’m just a shitty friend?