Search Results: dating a best friend

I know some of you are going to go off about never using dating apps or trying to find people online period. That’s a separate debate so please don’t bring it up. Not everybody has the time or environment to socialize with singles on a consistent basis.

Anyway I’ve gone real back and forth about ever mentioning sex or even acting flirty with girls I match on dating apps. On one end if she already finds me attractive, is in a good mood and hit her vibe right it can make her more eager to meet up.

However the downside if I just make one wrong comment many women panic and hit the “creep” button. It’s game over and there is little or no room for forgiveness. Often the guy has no idea he’s out. It doesn’t matter if it was an honest mistake or I had no idea she didn’t like a certain comment. Many women just freak.

An even worse scenario is she might just want all virtual sexting and has zero interest in meeting for real. The virtual attention is good enough for her. Most men aren’t satisfied with that. They want to meet someone for real.

Then there is the safe route (and it can be genuine). Just act friendly, funny and don’t mention sex. Many women find this to be non-threatening and are more likely to meet in person.

But a downside with this is she might find me more boring. Some women are deluded/selfish to believe that guys are okay just making “friends” with women on dating apps. Nope. That’s a huge waste of time and effort. That doesn’t mean men are always looking for hook ups. Some of us really want to start a relationship. But there is always at least some romantic interest. Men don’t seek out random women to become “friends” with.

So anyway what’s the best route?

It's often that you'll hear people say to "never settle" when it comes to dating. People also criticize others for being too picky--like telling a friend that they're pushing away great people over a long checklist of qualifications.

So my question to you is: what should we do? should we settle for someone who doesn't meet our original expectation for a boyfriend/girfriend/spouse, or should we wait it out and hope for that special someone that we've always imagined to come along?

Just as some thoughts:

Merits to settling include: making it easier to get into a nice relationship. Giving an ordinarily overlooked persona a chance, and breaking the trend of leaving "average" people alone and dsingle, in favor of clamoring after the people that everyone else already likes.

Merits to never settling include preventing a relationship with a dissatisfying partner, avoiding regrets in your relationship, and being absolutely certain that your choice of partner was the best.

So what do you think?

Also, listen to Bo Burnham's song about it when you get the chance. You'll laugh. It's called "Lower Your Expectations."