Search Results: how to make things work

When it comes to relationships, which of these are you?

• Champions: well-regarded figures who fight for a cause, representing a side either in a trial by combat or in a legal/moral debate, championing a cause either physically or verbally. In a relationship, the champion uses his/her words to defend and protect their spouse and their families. In terms of "Love Languages" these would be one who provides Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Intellectual/Emotional Gifts or Acts of Service. A champion doesn't necessarily have "a type" because he/she seeks to broaden their own horizon while broadening the horizon of their person of interest.
• Heroes: young warriors who get good things done with a sense of fearless bravery, often still "green" or untested in terms of their ability and experience, these young bloods are willing to meet any challenge head-on and with ferocity. In terms of "Love Languages" these would be the younger crowd dabbling in all five love languages till they find what works with their person of interest (so... each language in limited capacities, testing their own strengths/weaknesses) Words/Acts of Affirmation, Quality Time, Offering/Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch (empathetic, romantic and/or sexual). Heroes have some chaotic elements because of their relative lack of experience, but they tend to make up for it with the willingness to adapt/learn along the way.
• Warriors: seasoned heroes whose prowess withstood the test of time... They've overcome a variety of fears, hardships/defeat and conflict. They have resources and understand how the world works. They are fiercely protective of their own and experts at defending others. In "Love Languages," warriors' experience to hone in on their "type", to know what they value, want, need and can offer in a relationship; they are more sure-footed than the Hero, more guarded than the champion, with battle scars from previous relationships.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years and recently we celebrated my birthday. There was one thing I specifically asked for that she got me and I appreciate it. But everything else just seemed a little thoughtless.

One thing, she got me a personalized ice cream spoon. On the surface, it seems cute but I practically only eat ice cream with a tiny spoon when I’m home and the spoon she got me was a normal size. I probably won’t really use it. She also got me pimple patches from a brand I like other products from but I really don’t have pimples and the few times I’ve used patches in the past, they don’t work or sometimes make my face scab. I've told her this before since she uses patches and sometimes asks if I want to use any. Then finally, I’ve been wanting a kiddie pool to just be able to sit/ put my feet in, like the $15 kind. She ordered me one but it’s not supposed to come in for another week. Which is fine and all but this week I have off of work and I would have used it now. To me, I would have preferred to just go get one myself at the store so I could actually use it when I have time off. Or even just ordering me one that would have came in time for my birthday.

Everything she got me is sorta thoughtful but also not that useful to me. Part of me feels like she didn’t really try but the other part of me feels like I’m just being ungrateful. Gifts from her have always been like this but in the past I just let it go since I thought she was actively trying and maybe just not hitting the mark. But now that we’ve been dating longer, I feel like she should know a little better.