Search Results: asking me to tell him

*OLD= Online Dating*

For context, I matched with someone from a dating app around May this yr. We spoke for a few weeks & he proposed meeting up but the times he kept bringing up weren’t working for me. He ends up reaching out again when he was back from traveling & tried to schedule something, I didn’t follow through. At the time, I was overwhelmed with a new job & just not in the best headspace to meet up with anyone in person from OLD. About a month ago, I felt like I should’ve given him a shot & then sent him a well thought message asking if he would give me another “redo”. He never replied so I thought he wasn’t interested, flash fwd to this week & we end up matching on another app I just installed.

He reaches out saying he remembered me & I told him that I tried reaching out to him around a month ago. He said he didn’t know because he hasn’t checked that other app in a while and said he was sorry for leaving me hanging, asking if I’m willing to give him another redo and then brought up that we live close by based on the app. Tbh if I was him, I don’t think I would’ve given me another shot. I know we’re strangers & there shouldn’t be too much stock placed on randos from OLD apps but I would’ve been sus, thinking this person only wants to talk to me b/c it didn’t work out w/ someone else etc.

Am I too critical or anyone else get where I’m coming from? Again I’m not trying to seem like I get too attached but I try to be wary, since we all know OLD apps can be sketchy.

Prior to this job, I worked in financial aid for ~2 years. That was my 1st time ever working in the field but before that job I was an academic advisor. Early on during training when I was on a call with a trainer, I ended up breaking down crying bc I felt overwhelmed. I ended up pushing through & the trainers let my new team know that I was doing well. Eventually ended up having higher metrics compared to a lot of people on my team. Anxiety was always there but I got *better*, I was miserable at that job though due to the workload.

Now I’m in my 3rd week working for another school remotely in FA again, this is a school I’ve been trying to get in at for almost as long as I was at my other job (mostly bc of pay). I’m training by myself with the manager & I like her so far, she keeps telling me that I’m doing a good job (I’m not asking) & she felt the need to let the whole team know that I’m doing good/picking up fast when I was introduced to them earlier this week. This job is more in depth vs the last job & she even told me that they only hire people with experience now bc of how much there is to it. When she first taught me something new, it took a few tries & I picked it up, then she teaches me something else & I get it the first try.

I made my first 2 calls today & I felt shaky, she also said nicely that the first few calls will feel like that/ it was obvious it was one of my first calls but I did a good job. I felt like a wreck + then she gave me another assignment of something I caught onto before but I ended up getting stuck this time. I was obv frustrated & it was right before I was done for the day but I just couldn’t think straight bc I felt so upset with my progress.

Am I being too hard on myself? Am I right to believe this might not be a good fit for me? I’ve been so upset since I clocked out & am dreading tomorrow.

I recently entered the talking phase with t 29 and he’s very much his way or the highway type of man and very rarely is open to other opinions I myself am 23 and if I had to be put into a category I would say I’m head strong and similar to the my way or the highway type of thinking so we’ve been butting heads a lot we said are hard limits and what we both want out of this relationship one of the tougher conversations was we both can hold a conversation with just about anybody which is fine just the boundaries were crossed it was stated that we do not entertain people the way we do with each other I was honest and told him I didn’t and he said the same thing yet today I heard a woman say “you were saying tell me you love me on the phone” which for a lot of reasons made me upset I’m not a very over emotional person but my feelings were hurt and he chose to ignore that and call me out about the way I talk to people instead of asking why I was having that reaction I was overthinking so I went out for fresh air and he was ignoring me and my calls I again kept overthinking and felt like how I felt in my old relationship that I was overly emotional and I couldn’t help it cause I was a woman are the type of things said to me and I feel like this situation is pulling me back into the shell I was once in I know t didn’t say those words to me but not being heard or listened to is just putting me in a dark headspace like a doll no thoughts no emotions no nothing yes sir no sir is where my mind is going and I blame myself I blame myself for being so quick to fall back and back burner my feelings like they don’t matter and questioning myself for being emotional im sorry if this sounds like a bunch of nonsense I can’t get the right words of how I’m feeling besides low and unwanted Sorry again for this long post