Search Results: will this relationship work

I started to see someone, (we've seen each other for 3 months). His life was getting very stressful, work demands, and a challenging negotiation over finances with his ex. He felt guilty for not giving me what I "deserve" and said he has no emotional reserves to deal with a relationship. He said he needed to get through February. He said if we are meant to be together we will be, said he won't be dating. Off and on he's said he doesn't want me to go away but also says he doesn't expect me to wait. He has a lot of great qualities that I would like in a long term relationship. I feel confused about whether he will get a hold of me in the near future and wonder if I should move on. Thoughts? I do believe he has a stressful life, it's not BS to get out of seeing me. But I also feel swept off my feet and dropped on my head. While I want to have compassion, I tend to put my needs last. At the same time, he's a super guy.. or am I kidding myself? PS I'm over 50 years old.

I'm on the the heels of a horrible break up from a relationship I never really wanted to be in anyway.

I'm sore but well on the mend.

This whole thing has been going on for about 6 months.

Long story short, on my street is a really popular and vibrant restaurant. There are a ton of wait staff there, all male.

There are a couple that would kind of scope me out but I felt it was curiosity since I am fairly mysterious.

One server in particular has pathetically, IMHO, tried to get my attention when I would pass by by clearing his throat.

Once he decided to stare and not look away.

I don't jump to these silent cat calls.

He's tried to smile at me and stuff but I've been stoic because he is a smoker and I am judging him. I'll be honest.

Fast forward, I have started getting takeout there from time to time. When I walk in, some of the kitchen staff will look at him when I come in.

I purposely look away and I see him in my peripheral vision staring at me.

When I was waiting for my order, all he could do was stand really close to me when he was ringing in his table and I was ordering take out.

I caught him once staring, he looked away so fast and swallowed so hard. He was so embarrassed.

Th other evening a friend of mine treated me and we ate there.

We were seated at the back. He kept coming to the back sneaking looks at us. He works the patio.

My friend ordered some takout and we were waiting for it on the patio. He came to take our order and went straight up to me. My friend then explained we were just waiting for take out. He smiled and left.

Then he stood at the top of the stairs so he could totally see and hear us but he was pretend not watching.

We both pretend to ignore each other, actually.

I am just still reeling from all the recent emotional abuse and I feel this push-pull behaviour is a sign he is another immature, undercover narc looking for attention from someone he views as vulnerable.

Poll below!

So this month on the 20th, it will be mine and my boyfriends 6 months together. Our relationship is fairly good. We get along great and laugh together a lot. Always have a good time when we're together. Yesterday was Valentines day and i got him a long sleeve t and socks from this brand he likes, a cartridge for his stiiizy, a custom keychain with our picture and our song on it, a collectible funkoPop, Cologne and lotion from bath and body works, i also got him Chocolate, little star wars candy collectables and snacks at the bottom and A sentimental card. He got me 6 LovePop pop-up cards. Unopened still in the plastic. He didn't write in any of them, sign them, or address them to me either. And that's it. No flowers, no chocolate, i was miserable and we went to his bowling game afterwards from 6-9pm and went home and went to bed. I'm heartbroken over this. I feel so unspecial, i feel unappreciated and just like sad. I do a lot for him and i expected a lot more. At least a sentimental card and flowers. He didn't offer to do our own separate day. Should i leave him? Is this something that normal people work past? I just think its common sense especially in a new relationship. Help.