Wanted a break because he's stressed, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

I started to see someone, (we've seen each other for 3 months). His life was getting very stressful, work demands, and a challenging negotiation over finances with his ex. He felt guilty for not giving me what I "deserve" and said he has no emotional reserves to deal with a relationship. He said he needed to get through February. He said if we are meant to be together we will be, said he won't be dating. Off and on he's said he doesn't want me to go away but also says he doesn't expect me to wait. He has a lot of great qualities that I would like in a long term relationship. I feel confused about whether he will get a hold of me in the near future and wonder if I should move on. Thoughts? I do believe he has a stressful life, it's not BS to get out of seeing me. But I also feel swept off my feet and dropped on my head. While I want to have compassion, I tend to put my needs last. At the same time, he's a super guy.. or am I kidding myself? PS I'm over 50 years old.

Give it time and wait

Move on

[WindAtMyBack]

If it's true that he really has things to deal with, and not just making excuses, then wait him out. You say he has potential for a long term relationship. So a few months is nothing. It sounds like the type of things that could take longer than a few months. If it takes longer, then it might still be worth it. Is there a hurry?

Make it clear that you are interested. Make it clear that there is no hurry. You don't want to push the issue or add to his stress. But at the same type be honest with yourself and watch for realistic signs of progress. Are his problems really something that will go away? Or will this persist forever?

Dealing with his ex financially is something he can get past. If he's in a stressful work environment, there may be little he can do about it , except quit and find another job. That may be too much to ask or expect, unless it happens to be the best route for him career wise.

But for now, I'd wait and see what happens. I'm assuming you don't have a line of men banging at your door. You seem to like this guy, so give it time.

[Iron_Man]

Change your profile if you’re over 50 years old it says under 18

[Asker]

I'm trying to!

[Iron_Man]

Talk to administrator the age

[Asker]

thanks

[Anonymous]

uh no. he is holding you back and he is also dragging you along. he wants you to wait there for him while he sees when he wants to come back to you. don't wait. move on to someone who won't act like you're only an option if something else better doesn't come along. at your age you should know all of these clues and signs...

busy or stressed, i still stayed in a relationship. this is bullshit.

[Guy13]

Protect yourself. Parents?

[Anonymous]

You should never put your needs last. Men are not that important. Move on for your own sake.

[strateguy632]

.1st