Should I break up with him for dropping the ball on valentines day?

[Anonymous]

So this month on the 20th, it will be mine and my boyfriends 6 months together. Our relationship is fairly good. We get along great and laugh together a lot. Always have a good time when we're together. Yesterday was Valentines day and i got him a long sleeve t and socks from this brand he likes, a cartridge for his stiiizy, a custom keychain with our picture and our song on it, a collectible funkoPop, Cologne and lotion from bath and body works, i also got him Chocolate, little star wars candy collectables and snacks at the bottom and A sentimental card. He got me 6 LovePop pop-up cards. Unopened still in the plastic. He didn't write in any of them, sign them, or address them to me either. And that's it. No flowers, no chocolate, i was miserable and we went to his bowling game afterwards from 6-9pm and went home and went to bed. I'm heartbroken over this. I feel so unspecial, i feel unappreciated and just like sad. I do a lot for him and i expected a lot more. At least a sentimental card and flowers. He didn't offer to do our own separate day. Should i leave him? Is this something that normal people work past? I just think its common sense especially in a new relationship. Help.

Leave him

Try to work it out

[WaterIsland]

It’s important to remember that most girls view Valentine’s Day as a much more important day than most guys.


I think the big question here is if you made it clear to him how important it was to you. Either way, you should sit down with him and tell him how you’re feeling. Talk it through. Communicate with each other. Maybe he didn’t realize how important it was to you. Or maybe he thought you’d like something smaller scale. Or maybe he misread some signal. It’s impossible to say. But you can only figure that out if you talk to him.


I personally don’t think someone should break up over one minor holiday not going the way they wanted, ESPECIALLY if you don’t communicate with your partner.

[Asker]

I talked to him and told him i feel like crap and I'm embarrassed to tell my father that he didn't get me anything, he said he's sorry and when i told him that i gave him hints about valentines day being important back in December and January he said he just doesn't see Valentines Day as important as bdays and Christmas because everyday matters and not just Valentines day. And he doesn't know why he didn't get me anything but he just didn't and that he's sorry that I'm upset and that he didn't put effort into doing something.

[WaterIsland]

That all sounds fair from his perspective. He maybe should have taken the hints more seriously. But he didn’t. What’s done is done. I don’t think his actions were unreasonable. He said sorry. Not sure what else you can do.

But don’t be indecisive. Make up your mind and stick to it. I’d NEVER break up with someone over what you described. But you do you.

[SnowedIn]

Work. It. Out.

You cannot "drop hints". You have to say what's important to you. Valentine's Day is like porn: men and women think about completely different.

But, that's not really the point.

The real point is you're focusing on the wrong things. You talked at the beginning of your post about how great your relationship is. That's the big picture. But you're heartbroken about Valentine's day. That's throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Yes, he should focus on what's important to you, but at the same time you have to look at what's valuable and chocolate and flowers isn't it.

[Rainwavy]

I understand what you mean. I think as a gift giver I tend to be really thoughtful. Although I don't say it or think about it, there is a hint of an expectation to recieve a gift just as equal to or more thoughtful than mines. From your post, I believe you want to be romanced. I am learninh that before getting in a relationship you have establish boundaries and what you are looking for. Not saying you haven't. That goes to say I would talk with your boyfriend and let him know you expect... I guess creativity and going up and beyond. I'm still learning so unfortunately I wouldn't be able to go in details on how to do that but I'm sure there are some videos that could help you.

[jennyPuss]

this is possibly the stupidest suggestion i've ever heard. we need to get over worshiping women, and the first thing to go needs to be Valentine's day.

[Guy13]

You better decide quickly and decisive because this is it. I get by without suffering then I am not changing my ways from hereon. You challenge me with a break-up then you better mean it once that line is crossed. Say what you mean; Mean what what you say !!

[mark000h]

Guys don't care about Valentine's day but he should have put more thought into it. If you base your relationship on that alone though, you should break up. If he's good to you in other ways then rethink it. Sounds like it's not just Valentine's that's the issue.