Search Results: ask him out on his birthday

So I am in an exklusive dating with a guy who is 30 and I am 22. We ve been dating since October 2024.

I feel like there are some issues between us and also there are some problems on my part that I feel like may cause this relationship to end.

A month ago, I asked how he feels about me and if we could be girlfriend and boyfriend, but he said he is not read.

He says he likes me, and we do go on some dates every time we meet. But I feel like he is mostly interested in sex. Why do things that are done in a relationship but not want to have a relationship? Is it commitment issues or he just doesn't love me?

by the way we live in different cities so we visit each other. Like taking turns.

I want to love and to be loved deeply, but I feel like he does not love me and my feeling for him are decreasing, maybe because I am dissapointed. And for me, feelings is what makes me continue a relationship, which mean it's more important for me than sex.

I feel so insecure because of a lot of things

- that he does not show enough care. For example when he talks about his problems, I pay attention, care for him and solve them together. But when I talk about my problems, he just say it's gonna be alright and good night. No more comfort/care or whatever.

- he forgot my birthday

- I feel like he just is dating me as a second option just because other girls have not chosen him

- that my university grades are not so great right now and my family use me now and then.

- a lot of things has happened lately that makes me question myself, my relationship and my family. I see negativity more that positivity. I don't know if I am starting to become depressed.

I am a bit naive I guess.

I am thinking if I should break up with him because I don't feel loved the way I want or if I just should wait and see how it goes first and then decide.

I am also tired of dating and relationship that waste my time and feelings. I am tired of being used just for being kind. People treat me as an idiot and naive.

So I’ve had an online friend for a few years and he started wishing me a happy birthday every year after we got to know each other a little better. There were times where he would & I wouldn’t, when that were the case, he’d follow up a few days or maybe a week after saying I forgot it was his birthday (more subtly). Last year, he wished me a happy belated & this year I decided to also be more laid back. I just asked him if he had a good birthday maybe a day or two after it actually happened, I sent him that message after he followed up with me about something else. He leaves me on read yet continues to view my IG stories.

This has always been the case, he’s always one of the first to see my stories but may go weeks without msging me. A few years back, he’d literally go weeks without replying but will be the first person to see my stories or comment. But when I’d take long to get back to him, he’d *jokingly* say that I’m ignoring him or ask if I’m busy. Honestly I don’t feel like I did anything wrong so I don’t see the need to reach out, it just seems hypocritical. You can be busy but I can’t? He hasn’t made a comment like that in years & his response time has gotten better. I have a tendency to delete people when my frustration has built up, I don’t know if it’s an avoidant personality style trait.

I just…couldn’t bring myself to confront him and ask if he was upset with me. I just felt apathetic yet hopeless in a way, even though I had total control. It’s been over 5 months since I heard from him and we’ve never gone that long without talking, so I took a hint and removed him (unfollowed him/he’s no longer able to follow me) from my IG. He’s still on FB, gaming app & linked in but those platforms are a lot less personal. Now I officially have no “friends” and at 30F I should be A LOT more upset but it’s more worrying about how I’m perceived. Is avoidant attachment the cause? Or excuses and I’m just a shitty friend?

Should I be turned off by my online friend? Or am I overthinking this? So I’ve had an online friend for a few years and he started wishing me a happy birthday every year after we got to know each other a little better. There were times where he would & I wouldn’t, when that were the case, he’d follow up a few days or maybe a week after saying I forgot it was his birthday (more subtly). Last year, he wished me a happy belated & this year I decided to also be more laid back. I just asked him if he had a good birthday maybe a day or two after it actually happened, I sent him that message after he followed up with me about something else. He leaves me on read yet continues to view my IG stories. This has always been the case, he’s always one of the first to see my stories but may go weeks without msging me. A few years back, he’d literally go weeks without replying but will be the first person to see my stories or comment. But when I’d take long to get back to him, he’d *jokingly* say that I’m ignoring him or ask if I’m busy. Honestly I don’t feel like I did anything wrong so I don’t see the need to reach out, it just seems hypocritical. You can be busy but I can’t? He hasn’t made a comment like that in years & his response time has gotten better but it’s been almost 5 months & I haven’t heard from him. I have a tendency to delete people when my frustration has built up, I don’t know if it’s an avoidant personality style trait. But he’s the only “friend” I have so I want to think this through. It’s not looking too good & I’m feeling tempted to ignore him if he reaches out again or remove him from IG soon if I don’t hear back before then. I don't know if this indicates anything but after taking online quizzes, I came back as DA and he came back as FA.

Things he did:

1. When my a good friend of mine was in between us in class he would constantly tell him to stfu when he was talking to me
2. He used to make fart sounds with his hands, waiting for me to look at him and make my "are u serious" face to mimic me
3. He got very excited when I finally accepted to work with him once
4. He noticed I sleep a lot and called me sleepy head once when trying to wake me up
5. He literally humiliated himself on the class GC to try to get me to pair up with him for a presentation
6. He remembered my birthday when everyone forgot and reminded everyone
8. Called me once with his friends to ask me help for a work and after the called he said "bisou" (kiss in French) and his friends said "ah yes bisou" and he insulted them
9. Randomly coming up to me to ask me what game I’m playing
10. When I got a haircut he waited until my friends noticed it before telling me it looked cute on me, when I thanked him he puffed out his chest
11. He said a little pasta restaurant everyone goes to is shit but after he saw me going to it he started going there for lunch and when he sees me queuing he straightens up and looks at me
12. Once we had to correct our seatmate’s test and when I tried to give my test to my seatmate they turned back to give it to their friend so he yanked my test out of my hands and gave me his without asking
13. At the very second day back to school he immediately went up to me in front of the school door, I was confused and tried to leave bc he was in a call and it was awkward but he stopped me, ended his call and stared into my eyes while thinking about what to say before we walked to class together
14. Seems to have changed his morning schedule to arrive at school at the same time as me
15. At the queue for a small restaurant he got behind me and kept looking at my phone, talking loud about "interesting facts" (that were common knowledge) with his friend