Search Results: harder to approach when you really like her

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution.

D) Other - comment please.

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution. No fun.

D) Other - comment please.

There are a few times out of curiosity I’ve approached heavier girls and even though they were traditionally not very pretty there was something intangible about them I found attractive.

Surprisingly these girls were actually extremely bitchy when I gave them keen but innocent attention. The attention wasn’t sexual but of intense curiosity that might become sexual.

Anyway they got bizarre deluded sense of pride that they just had to play “hard to get”. Yet I would have no problem walking the second I felt a shit test happening. Admittedly attractive women are much more likely to get away with playing games with me (but I know where to draw the line). But it’s like a unattractive woman thinks that acting bitchy somehow puts her on par with the very pretty girls she is so jealous of.

I remember years ago I went to get a few drinks with a girl I didn’t find attractive at all. I’m not sure how it started by she ended up going mega bitch and saying something really nasty.

Then next day she messaged me and apologize profusely. She begged me for a second chance. I told her I felt better she apologized but I wasn’t interested in hanging out again. She sadly wished me best of luck and I did likewise.

But anyway why do these unattractive often self sabotage the few rare opportunities they do have to date a decent looking guy who gave them attention? Does the feeling of deluded pride of being “able to turn someone down because I think I am hot and have options” more satisfying then actually having a real tangible rare opportunity with someone?

I know no fat guy would turn down a woman who is a 7 or above. But why would a BBW woman turn down the same vice versa?