Search Results: wait or move on

Long story short..

I talked to a guy and let him know in the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything.. I told him my emotional wellbeing is a priority and that I’m not looking for sex or a relationship BUT we could talk until he moved… I was guarded and kind of wanted to push him away… I also post sexy pics…

I gave him a hard time but I felt he was logical and patient.. he wanted to know the safest way to talk to me and he said he didn’t want the whole placeholder thing… he said more sweet nothings like “I shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sin”

I told him I was willing to take things slow… and that’s when he pulled back and I confronted him.. he said he was being careful..

He admitted that he felt that I was unstable before the date but it wasn’t in a rude way…we went on a date it Flopped a bit … we both could have done better.. I could have talked more and explained my situation more and he talked about my pics and just said things that hurt a bit… asked when I was last intimate. He just didn’t seem that interested and I wanted to wait until marriage for sex

he ghosted me

I met a guy named Brad back in Nov 2023. We were dating long distance until March-June when we began living together and got engaged in May. I was in school at the time and got dismissed, so when my family found out, they sent my sister to move me back home. My sister met Brad for the first time because I hadn't told them I was with anyone until then. She immediately didn't like him because he doesn't make much money and his house looked very run down. She basically said I had no choice but to come home because my mom wasn't doing well, and we all left the same day so Brad could meet my family. Me and Brad promised each other I would leave that day to be with him.

While I watched him interact with my family and heard their concerns, i thought it would be best for me to be at home for the time being since my mom just got a pacemaker placed and needed me to care for her. Brad threatened to end the relationship then, but decided later that he will wait because my family said they'd throw a small party and I'd move in back with him after that in Sept. He kept saying how me staying with family wasn't right the whole time, and how he didn't want to do the party anymore. I did not know what to do because we all agreed that the party was fine.

Now, it's been a day that he blocked my number and Instagram so there's no way for me to contact him. I do want to be with him in marriage because I care about him and don't understand why he can't do the party. Everyone is telling me varied things but do you think I did the right thing by staying with family and waiting for the party? Or do you think I should've just left to be with him by now? I thought what my family was doing was fair considering that me and brad are from different cultures and he didn't ask for my hand in marriage prior to the engagement either. Plus I had gotten dismissed from my program so I needed time to figure out a new career path too.

Alright. I was not going to ask about this bc I really do not think there was any bad intention, on the other hand it’s bothering me so here I go.

I regularly have physical therapy for chronic dizziness. Therapists change every few months. This last one I clicked with immediately. He gives me exercises and answers questions. There is no physical contact.

After my sessions ended, seeing as we get on pretty well & with him being new in the area I invited him out platonically— just me showing him around.

I made it clear I am not interested in dating. He said he travels so he’s not about dating atm, we understand each other. No problems.

Fourth time we met up mind you this was over three months period of time- we weren’t meeting up constantly. It was very late we were listening to street music playing their last song, he moves in (slowly enough for me to stop him - I give him props for that) I stopped him. I asked him ‘you said you wanted to be friends. We both agreed?’ He said he did. He does. He was just feeling very friendly. 👀 👀

I knew he was joking so I laughed but then my mind went back to the issue which was:

1. I do not want to get involved.

2 I thought he didn’t want to get involved.

3 he basically lied to me.

And here’s the thing. He answered me honestly but I now doubt I can trust him.

he said he kind of assumed I was just saying I didn’t want more than friends bc everyone says that (((do they?)) and we get on well so he thought he’d just wait and see.

it doesn’t bother me he turned out to be a bit interested or that he tried to kiss me or even him lying bc he didn’t have an obligation to tell he if he was interested in anything - as long as he accepted I wasn’t.

It is the fact he assumed I was lying and I’m quite tired of people thinking I am playing a game when I’m direct. Even nice people.

He didn’t trust me & I don't know if I can trust him. BUT he did come clean. He could have played it off as a misunderstanding.

What would you do?