Search Results: getting her to open up

I met this girl start of last year at work (ages 21, 22). We immediately connected, and became friends. A month ish later we ended up hooking up, naturally transitioned to a situationship.

we used to hang out after work, do *ahem* stuff, play Fortnite, deep talk, and fell asleep cuddling tightly. She said didn’t want commitment, that she had fears. said she does like me and would’ve pursued something with me if it wasn’t for where she was in life right now.

Life happened, and we stopped, tho we kept being friends. Few months later I invite her to hang out and the next day, she tells me tbh she wants to resume (the casual stuff) and that she feels a type of something but was too shy to reinitiate. So we did.

After that didn’t see her for a few weeks cos went to see family in Italy. when I came back we hung out and she mentioned that our mutual friend/coworker mentioned to her I still had feelings for my ex… tbh back then time I was going through a confusing time. I was honest and admitted I still had feelings for my ex and that we met up right after I came back. She seemed uncomfortable, said go she’s glad for me for me but later on she said it felt weird. Few days after that she was fine, but then she stopped replying to my messages completely. Heard from the coworker that snitched that she was going through a rough time.

Heard she had her yearly visit to her hometown around then. she came back to work around January this year. she seemed open and cold at the same time. When our shift ended the same time I said I went to get food and she followed me. Convo was pretty good, but when I suggested getting ice cream she said “I’m not just gonna go wherever you go”. ? she's still replying to my messages in good time and isn’t dry. It’s been a while since then and it’s all still similar.

I guess I liked her more than I thought, and I feel really bad how all this unfolded. I still care about her a lot.

Do you think I hurt her and she’s salty, and that I played her?

My favorite chain pendant broke, and I have a replacement on the way, but I got looking at some other ones too.

My old chain has a buffalo nickel and an arrowhead. I wear it as a nod of respect for the old Native American way of life back in the day before they got their land jacked up. I like that whole “living harmoniously with nature as an equal part of it all” thing. But some people get funny about that stuff, so I’m thinking of getting something that I maybe have some ties to, at least genetically, haha.

I do have a little Scandinavian blood in me, and I found that there’s a lot of cool Norse/Viking looking stuff, so I thought maybe the fine folks of GAG could help me on my way to making some decisions.

I’m thinking a combo of pendants, with a bear theme (I just dig bears🤷‍♂️), maybe two or three total on a 22” chain, so they’d be hanging down between mah tittaaayyyyssss, lmao. More than three feels like overkill, and two might be enough, depending on the size.

Anyway, here are some of our lovely contestants (can’t fit them all, haha)…

Vote for your favorite (poll is looking like it might be jacked up upon editing, but just roll with it, lmao), I’ll take it like ranked choice voting. But comment with specific combinations you think would look good together. I’m thinking it’d be best to differentiate the pendant shapes, like one circular, one rectangular, one geometric. But I’m open to suggestions! Thanks!✌️

So I’ve known my friend for a year through college classes, but we’ve only been friends since December, along with 2 other people. The first semester we met she had a boyfriend and I was getting over a serious 2-year crush so wasn’t interested in a relationship, but I knew I wanted to be her friend. I asked her, but she said no to being friends cause of her boyfriend. I was a little disappointed, but accepted it. The next semester we met again and started talking and hanging out more before our classes. I wasn’t going to be friends with her since I remembered she had a boyfriend and said no, but then I found out she had broken up with him and decided there wouldn’t be any harm in asking again if she wanted to be friends. Around this time I also noticed I was developing feelings for her. I emailed her saying I enjoyed spending the two semesters with her and asked her if she wanted to be friends and gave her my number in case she did. Few minutes later I got a text from her that said and I quote “I really enjoyed spending the semesters with you too and I’d love to be friends with you!” Since then we’ve been texting all the time, but haven’t been able to hang out since becoming friends cause we’ve both been busy. I want to tell her I like her and got her a Valentine’s present (a mug that says “you’re the best” and a small box of chocolates). I’ve read/heard that it’s better to get your feelings out in the open asap, but we’re also still getting to know each other, so should I go ahead with telling her I like her or wait a bit and do I still give her the Valentine’s gift?

For the record I am definitely guilty of:

• Posting about politics (often)
• Using profanity
• Getting in heated (even hateful) arguments
• Talking in depth about dirty/explicit sexual topics for entertainment. However I do much less of that nowadays.

But I remember first posting on GAG literally 14 years ago. Back then it really was more focused about dating and romance issues. Never posted about politics or anything unrelated outside men and women interacting.

I was also more open back then. This included admitting difficult (and embarrassing issues). Insecurities I was struggling with. But nowadays I’m rarely if ever that open. Reason being I am usually not in the mood to get blasted by some idiot troll.

Anyway I got in a real heated argument with one person on GAG yesterday. She unnecessarily hit a very deep nerve with me at the wrong moment. I responded back with sheer vitriol and wished the worst on here (which I later recanted). It wasn’t productive for anyone either way. Not good for her. Not good for me. Not good for anybody who read it.

However that made think harder. What if there was version of GAG that:

• Didn’t allow any slurs, labels, insults, explicit profanity. You can still post it but it the word will immediately get censored.
• Only focused on relationship issues
• Would only allow a PG version of sexual issues
• Wouldn’t allow any postings/opinions about politics (no matter where you stand).
  
  

Sure it sounds really boring and dull at first. But I can’t help but wonder how many people give up on this website at some point. Especially women. Or how many people come here just to “ventilate” vitriol. Or how many people come here for “talk” porn.

What about people who just want to post honest questions and get honest (respectful) responses. A respectful response isn’t always what you want to hear but what you NEED to hear. The difference is knowing the poster really wants to help you vs. enjoying throwing shade.