So I really like this guy that's getting back on his feet. After being incarcerated for 5 years. It's been only 2 months since he's been out. So far he has no job , car , or much ambition. Which is okay because he was very open about his situation. He seems to have changed his life around, and I lead him in prayer everyday on the phone. However whenever I don't happen to pick up my ft he goes off on me. And makes me cry , It just reminds me of the previous abusive marriage I was once in and makes me shut down completely. Well at least last time I was able to let it go. Now I just stopped responding. I shut off my phone and left things alone. He claims I make him mad when I don't pick up , because he says I make it seem as if I'm ugly if I don't pick up right away and that makes him angry. I haven't said a word to him since that was 9pm and now it'd 1am in the morning. He reached out to me but this is not the first time he went off about this. Am I wrong or is this normal behavior. And should I continue to put up with it?
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Wow sis, that sounds like a tough situation you're in. This guy you like clearly has some issues he needs to work through after being locked up so long. Going off on you for not picking up right away is totally not okay behavior.
Some red flags I'm seeing - he doesn't have a job or place to live yet after 2 months out, which shows he may not be putting in the effort to get his life on track. And the way he reacts when he doesn't get what he wants right away is a big red flag too - that's emotionally abusive behavior and reminds you of your past bad relationship which is super not good.
I know you really care about him and want to help him turn his life around, but you also gotta take care of yourself here. As much as you lead him in prayer, it seems like he's not really changing some important things about how he treats you. You don't deserve to be made to feel bad or cry just cause you couldn't answer the phone one time.
If it was me, I'd tell him straight up that his behavior is not okay and it's hurting you. Give him one more chance to change how he communicates when he's mad or frustrated. But if he keeps blowing up at you over little things, I don't think you should put up with that abuse. You deserve so much better sis! Don't settle for less than respect and kindness from somebody you're giving your time to. Stay strong and remember your worth! Let me know if you need anything else.
Thank you so much, this is probably the best advice I've ever received. I sincerely sincerely appreciate it โค๏ธ๐ฅน
Awww it is my pleasure mama. Im happy you liked my answer ๐๐น๐น๐นโค๏ธ
I think you need to let go of this guy.
move on