Have you ever been in a certain mood one minute and seemingly out of nowhere it completely changes? One minute you're all smiles and everything is good, and the next minute you're crying uncontrollably? Or extremely angry? Welcome to my life. A lot of people tend to brush mood swings off as something trivial, but I'm here to tell you that they are more serious than you think.
By definition, mood swings are basically sudden and sometimes extreme changes in your mood. I was pretty mellow kid growing up. I stayed to myself. I got bullied a lot so I didn't have many friends. I spent a lot of my time reading and writing. I first noticed my mood swings when I was around 18. I remember going to the doctor's and being fine one minute and the next crying my eyes out. For no reason. The doctor prescribed Cymbalta, which an antidepressant. I didn't like the way they made me feel so I stopped taking them. In hindsight, I'm not sure if continuing would've helped or just made it worse.
Fast forward to today. It's been 10 years, and my mood swings are still alive and kicking. They've become more frequent and a bit more extreme over the years. There are times where I can go through three and four emotions in the span of a half hour. I could be in the happiest of moods, smiling and enjoying life and it's like someone comes and flips a switch inside of me. With the flip the switch, the happiness is turned off and could be replaced with depression or irrational fear. There have been times where I've been calm and in relaxation mode,.and then out of nowhere I get hit with this boiling rage. What I don't think most people seem to realize is how exhausting that is and how much it takes out of you.
I get labelled as moody and mean often (I guess it doesn't help that I have resting bitch face huh). It bothers me because I'm not a mean person. I'm probably one of the nicest people you'll meet. Dealing with these mood swings is not easy. I don't really have much control over when they come and how bad they'll be. I also don't have a reason as to why they happen, which is insanely frustrating. It can be very mentally and emotionally draining. I haven't really talked in depth with my doctors about it, mostly out of fear. I fear that they will diagnose me with Bipolar Disorder or put me on meds again, and I'm just not ready to deal with that.
I just wanted to share with you all a bit about this because it's not as simple as just writing someone off as moody. Sometimes it's deeper than you think.
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