Raising A Child with Religion Part II - What I Want To Pass On

BCRanger10 u

In this second offering for the #BATTLEROAYLE, I will explain what exactly it is that I desire deeply to share with my children, should I be so blessed as to get married and have children. As I said in the first piece, I hope to share what I have been given with those most precious to me.

Some people in today's world would see me raising my children in my faith as "child abuse". So first things first: what is “abuse”? According to the Dictionary app, “abuse” is defined as “to use wrongly or improperly”, “to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way”, and “to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about.” An obsolete definition included “to deceive”. However, in order for one to deceive, one must have full knowledge of the truth and willingly say something that is untrue. If I would demonstrate the faith for my children with the same tender love with which I was raised and if I truly believe in my faith like I do, then by simple definition alone, I would not be abusing my children.

So what about my faith is so important that I want the to know it as I have?

The Eucharist

The Source and Summit of The Catholic Faith.

Short of my own life, the Catholic faith is the greatest gift that my parents have given me. At every Mass, I receive Our Lord in Holy Communion. The Eucharist is the main reason why I am Catholic. It is the true sacramental presence of Jesus Christ among us. In addition to receiving Him in the Mass, I have the beautiful opportunity to adore Him in the Blessed Sacrament. It has helped me to find comfort in times of suffering, hope in times of discouragement, courage in times of fear, strength in times of weakness, and joy in times of sadness.

Raising A Child In Religion Part II - What I Want To Pass On


My faith helps me to examine my life and my choices and to know what I must do differently, why, and how. It helps me to remain humble about the good that I do, so as not to dismiss my need for God’s grace. It also helps me to remain humble about the wrongs that I do, so as to not despair but turn to His Mercy; the sin of Judas was not as much in betraying Jesus as it was in despair, thinking that his sin was greater than His Mercy. I sometimes see questions like “how can I stop blaming myself?” and “So-and-so told me it’s not my fault, but I still feel bad. What do I do? " I can’t help but wonder how many hearts would be healed if instead of turning to blame-shifting and therapy, they turned to Mercy, which is offered in the sacrament of Confession. If I was born with sin and my sons and daughters would be born with sin, how could I justify not teaching them about something greater than their sins?

Raising A Child with Religion Part II - What I Want To Pass On

People often complain about religions being judgmental and condemning, but then they accuse the faithful of using their faith to rationalize or justify their own terrible behavior. So which is it? Should their faith tell them “you’re wrong” or “you’re all good. Sweep it under the rug and forget about it”?


Raising A Child with Religion Part II - What I Want To Pass On

The world is a noisy place. This is why I attend the traditional Latin Mass in the “low form”, meaning there’s no music and no choir and why I almost always experience some great consolation when visiting Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. There is a complete stillness, a silence, an escape for those few moments from a distracting world of discord and conflict.

There is not only the exterior silence, but an interior silence which is achieved when offering the sufferings within to that which is eternal.

What reason would I have to not introduce my children to such peace?


Quite simply, the faith doesn't change. The way it's taught and presented might change, but the core of the faith is the same. People in today's world want something that is real and consistent. I truly believe that I have this in the Catholic faith. And if my children would have that same longing, I would have no justification for not passing it along to them.

"Lord, where would we go?"

As my parents did with me, I know that my children would make their own decisions once they leave home and I would have to let them. They would make mistakes and I would have to let them. Whether they would live pious or sinful lives though, the best I could possibly do would be to pray for them daily and to be the best possible representative of God's fatherly and merciful love for them, to guide them through their own trials, and to remind them that they are not notorious sinners bound for Hell if they don't change, but wounded souls trying to find their way home.

I won't make excuses for parents and families who have been poor examples of their faith, whatever it may be. Authentic faith cannot be forced or coerced. It can only be shared and nurtured. As my parents did with me, I can only plant the seeds. If you still want to think that religion is outdated and silly or that I would be abusing my children by passing it on to the, fine. But I really must know if an open-minded and tolerant society is becoming so intolerant that they're willing to put whatever labels possible on religious faith to turn people away from it.

I love my faith. There is nowhere else I would rather be. And if it means to me what it does, if I makes me who I am, then I will share it with those whom I love the most.

I have said these things for the Greater Glory of God.

Raising A Child with Religion Part II - What I Want To Pass On
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Most Helpful Guy

  • KHaskins
    I first began questioning the faith I was raised with at my confirmation. I must have been around twelve. Non-Catholic. I recall a pamphlet we were given with a little cartoon on the front, showing a guy waiting at the pearly gates talking to someone out-of-frame who must have been Saint Peter about why he should be allowed in. They guy talks about how he lived a good life, gave to charity, attended church through rain and snow and what not, and with a tired sigh Peter answers "Sorry, that's just not good enough." Clouds open up beneath him and as he plunges towards the fires of hell he cries out asking what he can do to be saved. First thing I saw that made me stop and ask just what it was I was being told to accept.

    The environment I grew up in was not terribly receptive to questions on matters of faith, so I learned not to ask them. It was easier to quietly tolerate a bit of nonsense about dinosaur bones being fakes planted here to test our faith, Noah's Ark and people living for centuries as historical fact, than to open my mouth and be subject to a harangue which could consume an afternoon. Been told in no uncertain terms I'd be disowned if I ever left the faith. I learned to make the noises I had to to pacify my parents, but quietly ceased to share their beliefs. I believe that God exists and will do whatever he sees fit when we die, and that all we can do is live life as best we can, do right by our neighbors and try to leave the place better than we found it. As I would learn, this wasn't good enough for my family.

    I got into a two-year relationship with a girl from a (very liberal-minded) Muslim background who shared my views. I thought I would marry this woman. My family reacted to the news of the relationship with a degree of hostility beyond even my expectations. Took my key to their house (I had already moved out), threatened to evict my sister because she knew beforehand, threatened to disinherit me. Fights lasted hours. I held out hope that the foundation for a good relationship between her and them could be lain, but I didn't introduce them because frankly I thought they'd insult her to her face. I tried to shield her from it as best I could, but the stress led me to react in some ways I'm ashamed of.

    We broke up two weeks ago. I feel like I've lost all direction in life.

    All I would ask is that you respect the choices your children make in regards to faith and relationships. Guide. Don't make threats, on behalf of God or otherwise.
    Is this still revelant?
    • BCRanger10

      You're probably talking about this stupid Chick tracts, right?

    • KHaskins

      What's Chick?

    • BCRanger10

      Jack Chick. He's an EXTREMELY Fundamentalist preacher.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    I see that you don't have any kids yet. It's nice to hear that you want to pass down a family tradition. :D
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

    I am not Roman Catholic but Eastern Orthodox. That said, I agree strongly with the notion of parents passing their religion onto their children. However, I disagree strongly with your religion and would like to take the liberty of raising a few questions if you do not mind.

    How do you justify your faith in the Roman Catholic Church with the fact that it has been completely butchered since Vatican II to the extent that it is now barely a step above Mainline Protestantism? "Masses" that only last 45 minutes? Increasing feminization? Guitars and rock bands like Evangelicals? A Pope who is increasingly catering to the modern world and particularly the LGBT community? Ecumenism and the complete disregard for the sanctity of the sacraments via interfaith marriage with heretics and intercommunion?

    Long gone are the glory days of the Roman Catholic Church, when it had the balls to stand up to and actively resist the modern world, denounce heresies, and steer the path of Western civilization away from destruction. I believe that your Church is now a shadow of its former glory, and no longer possesses the ability to save the West. In fact, I do not even think that Pope Francis understands the spiritual condition of the West. Benedict did, in his own way, but Francis does not.

    Being Eastern Orthodox, our Ecumenical Patriarch has become the same way and is pushing desperately for modernization. The 2016 pan-Orthodox Council was supposed to be his version of Vatican II, but fortunately the rest of the hierarchs resisted. There is no universal bishop or Pope in Orthodoxy; the Ecumenical Patriarch just holds a position of honor as the first among equals.

    So fortunately modernization cannot be forced down upon us like it has upon your Church. But the problem is that we are not doing anything to actively address the spiritual poverty of the West either. Many of us do not even want to accept converts to begin with, let alone evangelize.
    • BCRanger10

      Why do you put the word Mass in quotation marks? Do you even know what the word means, where it comes from?

      Second, what does the length of the Mass have to do with the sanctity of it? What difference does it make if the Mass only lasts 45 minutes or three hours?

      Regarding the "increased feminization", I'm assuming you're talking about female altar servers and allowing women as Eucharistic ministers and lectors? Otherwise, last I checked, the Church still only allowed (and only CAN allow) men to be validly ordained as priests.

      Regarding the guitars and Life Teen-style liturgy, would you believe that I was once a firm defender? Now, I'm a firm CRITIC. These days, I cringe a little when I see a guitar at Mass. I know that the Church needs to reach the youth, but yes, there are better ways to do it. Ultimately though, what is most important is the Eucharist. Not the music, not the length, not the lectors or Communion ministers, but the Eucharist.

      Out of space, more to come...

    • BCRanger10


      Regarding Pope Francis, I love him and I consider myself to be traditional and orthodox. I won't pretend that I don't have concerns with some of what he says, but 1) the media hears and reports what they want to hear and report and 2) even he himself admits that he's easy to misinterpret. He's not an academic thinker type like John Paul II or Benedict XVI. He's more simple. The Truth cannot change, but what can change is how it is communicated.

      Which leads to my next point. After what, 35 years of what on the outside could be interpreted as heavy-handedness that's out of touch with a world that changed very suddenly and quickly, should the Holy Father NOT try to connect with that world? Should he NOT reach out to those who feel most rejected an ostracized by the Church, i. e, gays? The Gospels teach us that Jesus Christ is firm and divisive, but that He is also MERCIFUL. Did Jesus Christ pander to tax collectors and prostitutes?

    • Why would you ask something as pedantic and insulting as if I did not know what the simple word "Mass" means? You may think lowly of me as an only nominally observant Eastern Orthodox Christian who lusts like a madman and lacks the love of God in his heart, but I am a lot more knowledgable on theology than you realize. Certainly more than you are. And I've done more to defend our religion than you will ever realize, so step in line.

      I put "Mass" in quotation marks because unlike you, I realize that the validity of it depends upon its formulaic expression and accordance to the canons. Hence the importance of length. The 45-minute joke which passes for a "Mass" in contemporary American Catholicism is anything but sacred. I am inclined to question whether it still even possesses any sacramental grace. You cannot throw out the 2,000 year testimony of the Fathers and canonical witness, even by Vatican decree. Hence why I oppose your Church. The papacy is heresy.

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  • dangerDoge
    From my standpoint, I want to raise any future children I have with a presentation of info on both sides and then my personal beliefs on things.

    As far as religion goes, I wouldn't want to say to my children something along the lines of "this way is right. You should believe this." I'd raise them with the knowledge that they have the option to abstain from church. I have no want to pass it on / not pass my religious beliefs on, I only wish to teach them to think for themselves and make an informed decision. If they want to go to a church, I'll try and drive them to a church, within reason, even if it isn't conforming to my own beliefs. Whatever they decide, they'll decide after seeing all the stances, not from blind acceptance.

    There is a teaching in the Catholic church that one is supposed to marry Catholic and raise any children they have Catholic. Like if they don't agree to it, they can't get married in the church. That's probably the biggest thing I disagree with Catholicism. They want you to pressure your child into conforming to a religion by stating what the truth is for them.

    Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say raising a children in any religion is "abuse." That'd be silly. I'm saying it's something I won't to do for any future children I may have.

    I was essentially forced to grow up in Catholicism. Went to church every Sunday, went to Catholic elementary/junior high, Christian high school, and I had to go to confirmation classes and retreats. I didn't feel like faith helped me out much of all either.

    As I got to the confirmation classes, I realized that 90% of the people there were due to parents. I felt it was pretty clear that many were wishy washy and didn't really know why they believed what they believed (as highlighted by questions asked in class). I, at one point, said "I have no need to go to confirmation classes," but was forced to (with punishment awaiting me if I didn't). That was one major moment that confirmed my decision not to raise children in any specific religion. It felt like a waste of time and there was always an overlooking fear of my beliefs not matching up to parents. (Although I still believe in most Catholic dogma) There was always the "how would they react" thought floating through my head if I told them I wasn't a strong Catholic like they wanted me to.

    I don't wish that pressure to be on any child. While they may turn out like my sister and embrace the faith, they could turn out like me and have internal strife.
  • Spiorad_Aisce
    That is a lovely take - You have a great faith and it gives you a lot of comfort, have to admire that plus the fact you want to pass it on to your children.
    • BCRanger10

      Thank you for your input. I'm glad we're on the same Battle Royale team here.

  • loveisbeautiful
    That's all fine and dandy but what about teaching a child the things that really matter? Like, how to be a good person or how not to judge people or to accept people or how to treat others the way they want to be treated, what about that? Don't you think a child having a good heart and treating people right is more valuable then having the church experience? BTK went to church, said Amen and did all that stuff and yet he still killed a bunch of people. He was still evil. So, is it not better to be naturally good instead of going to church thinking it will make you good? Just a food for thought.

    Also, let me throw you a hypothetical scenario. What if your child a had friend, a friend they met online and they were really good friends. They even met in person one summer, but then your child decides after a year of being that persons friend, to not be there friend anymore because they didn't agree with your child. Does that seem like a very Catholic thing to do, to stop being someone's friend because you don't agree with them? I'm curious what you think about that.
    • BCRanger10

      Thank you for your response.

      Well of course I would tell them those things. Just because the priest would tell them in his homilies doesn't excuse me from continuing to tell them about it. The Rite of Baptism tells the parents to be the first and best teachers of the faith. And yes, they should have good hearts, but then the question is who decides what's "good"? Jesus Himself said "No one is good but God alone" (Luke 18:19). My concern there would be that they would become complacent rather than seeking continuous growth. Now yes, church doesn't automatically make someone a good person, but to me, it would contradict the purpose of going to church if I were to tell them that the effect is more important than the cause.

      Regarding the scenario, I'd ask what happened. I'd ask who said what, when, and why. I'd try to get as complete a picture as possible. Then I'd tell them what I thought.

    • You're welcome.

      Well, I disagree with that I have best friend in another country and his parents thought it best to teach him and his siblings to be good people and have a good heart. Then, when they were old enough and if they wanted to be apart of a religion they could be but they first wanted to teach them what truly matters. Then again, his continent is Asia and there having a good heart is big thing in that culture. Which, I find to be a wonderful thing. That's just me though.

      I see, interesting. Does that scenario I described seem at all similar to you? Like maybe something that happened in your life? You've never stopped being friends with someone that didn't agree with you? Because, if you have that goes against everything you preach, wouldn't you say?

    • BCRanger10

      I've been friends with plenty of people who disagree with me on things.

      Send me a private message.

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  • SS-rated
    Awesome MyTake!!!
    i'm really grateful that my parents raised me catholic and I could never live without god, I would've so many problems if there wouldn't be jesus in my life, I thought i'd fail soooo many times in school, people tell me i'm a good for nothing and too dumb for anything and every single one of them failed and I was the one who passed! I prayed to god to let me pass this school year and show them all that i'm not as dumb as they think and that it was jesus who got my back. I hate the empty feeling when I sin and the feeling of being alive when i pray with my whole heart. I see so many people have lost faith in god or have never met him in any kind of way, it's always ''God is cruel'' ''he doesn't exist'' ''if there would be one the world would be a better place'' Only people who have never met god will say this and i don't want my children to end up like that, I could never imagine myself living without god and i want my children to be like that as well. Anyway i'm happy to see some real christians on here
  • JohnDoe3000
    Oh god (pun intended), that's gonna be another sexually repressed, guilt-ridden catholic in the world, like we don't have enough of those already...
    • BCRanger10

      Okay well let's talk about that. What do you define as "sexual repression?"

    • Better than another "progressive," sexually-deviant Sodomite who commits suicide at 20 because he felt "trapped" in the wrong body and could not understand his sexuality.

    • @BCRanger10 let me get back to your sexual repression discussion. This is what I do right. I'm polyamorous. I fuck multiple woman with their consent. Some of them allow me to have prostitutes, so I do that too. I also banged this guys wife at a swingers party. I want to do porn and live out the rest of my life having open sexual relations. Do you think that fits the Catholic or Christian agenda?

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  • Ironlak282
    I personally believe all children should be raised secular and from then on given the freedom to enter a religious faith if they so choose. Your heart is in the right place we just disagree on this one.
  • ThisDudeHere
    Raising my child religious is exactly what I will not be doing. They shall know no god except for luck and Murphy's law.
  • TripleAce
    Its more than likely religion will ruin them. Let me be aware of today and surroundings rather than worrying about afterlife

    They dont need a book to be good.
    Buddhism teachings are more than enough without causing seperation and wars between people. Your teachings as a dad is enough.

    We are better than this, its 2016 we need to think about our next stage of evolution into superhumans. Petty bickering about gods is not guna get us anywhere. Working as ONE and united as a unified force will!
  • John_Doesnt
    I want my kids to be retarded too, so I'm raising them Catholic.
  • macix670
    As an atheist you have the right to raise your child as you see fit
  • DaddyRollingStone
    Glory to God my fellow Christian. Deus Vult!
  • Popo21
    I 100% agree, people are stupid.
  • Anonymous
    I decided to read a good part of the replies before I chimed in so that I may better get my comment formatted as best as I see and feel it. Firstly I am not Chatholic , I was raised Baptist from youth. I grew up in the lower 48 right in the middle of what's known as the Bible Belt. I was raised in a fairly strict and by the book ( Bible ) house hold. What I mean by that is rather be given the option if was force ably adhered to and that's the end of the subject. I nor my siblings were none to thrilled about it but it was what it was. When we were old enough to leave home , every last one stopped attending church for various reasons as I do know them as well as anyone I know the values that we were taught do not cross their minds or at least through actions you would never know it. I do not attend church services very often any longer but do my best to adhere to the values I have learned over the years. I for one do not agree with homosexatity as a life choice and loath the notion that it ever belonged in the church as it goes 100% against the teachings of God. For any one that has any knowledge of the bible , we know that Sodum and Gomoriah perished for being a homosexual haven. So there are Faith's that have watered them selves down to appease the masses. Teaching your children about God in my opinion is in no way abuse other than be a non believers opinion
  • Anonymous
    Nice take. I'm a baptist who despises the Catholic church and it's history, but what you have here, excluding the mass and the Mary stuff, is basically what every religious parent needs. Also we need to emphasize the love in the bible and not the very few verses of hate or judgement.

    Matthew 7:1-2
    “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."

    This should be what we raise our kids on.
    • BCRanger10

      What do you despise about it?

      Thank you for your feedback by the way.

    • Anonymous

      Let me be clear: I love everyone. Even the worst of the worst I wish I could save. And I forgive.

      But I can still hate the Catholic church. They are every reason atheism exists, and every reason people dislike religion. From pedophilia, to scamming poor people to buold their stupidass expensive castles instead of say, giving the funds to the poor people!
      to executions, homophobia, wars, killing of other Christians, massacre of muslims. Quite frankly there is no religion that has caused more suffering. No religion has more selfish leaders.

      Baptist, however, has only done the Salem witch trials and a few small town problems. Other than that, we founded fucking America and we didn't need silk clothes studded with diamonds and cathedrals to make the world a bether place. We did it because we'really about love. Not selfishness or hate or scams.

    • BCRanger10

      Actually, no you can't.

      Here are some of the problems with what you've said.

      1. What does Psalm 14:1 say?

      2. Pederasty, a form of pedophilia, was practiced Ancient Greece several hundred years before the Birth of Christ and ultimately, the Church. That's not to dismiss the wretched and despicable crimes or the subsequent cover-ups, but it's historically inaccurate to blame the Catholic Church for the very concept of pedophilia.

      3. What do you make of the Prosperity Pastors? They're not Catholic. They exploit people all the time to buy expensive houses, cars, and jets for themselves. And I was going to talk about this originally, but I didn't think it was relevant. What does Matthew 26:6-13 say?

      4. Executions? The death penalty existed LONG before the Catholic Church. And most American Catholics oppose the death penalty. I'm one of them. It's one of the few hot topics that we can find common ground on.

      Out of space, more to follow...

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  • Anonymous
    Can you address why catholic parents tend to prone to child abuse and shame their kids about sexuality by making them feel bad about watching porn/masturbating?
    • BCRanger10

      Well first, we need to define our terms. What is "child abuse"?

    • Anonymous

      Forcing kids to go to church when they don't want to.

    • BCRanger10

      What makes that child abuse?

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