My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016


For those of you who do not know, today is National Coming Out Day, which is an annual civil awareness day that. Today is the 28th Anniversary that celebrates the coming out of the LGBTQ or as an ally of it. Obviously, one does not have to be LGBTQ to be an ally.

My reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

As I was going to campus today, I walked past a podium outside, the weather is beautiful where I live despite the blaring sun and the lack of clouds. Although I was wearing sunglasses, I could make out a sea of rainbow colored banners and an audience full of people. I saw a few cameras, had I stumbled upon something on accident, the pathway was clear, and I saw a woman talking.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

While she was talking, her voice sounded to me of a male, so I watched and realized that she was most likely transgender or transsexual, she looked a bit sad, but I could tell that what she had to say needed to be heard. Unfortunately, I could not stay there long. A student with a rainbow heart painted on her face gave me a small pink flyer with info on the event called NCOD.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

While I was on campus with this paper in my hand, a regret from my past began to creep back in my mind, this monster flashback was not going anywhere so I had to address it.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

This happened in high school and even though I was expected to be immature as an underage teen, I feel guilty for how I reacted to the day that one of my friends came out to me as a lesbian. Before I tell my story first I would like to leave you with this quote.

Most people think they don't know anyone gay or lesbian, and in fact everybody does. It is imperative that we come out and let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.- Robert Eichberg, in 1993

In high school my friends and I use to sit at the same table by the lunch line, we don't know why. My friend(let's call her Jane Doe), would always sit there. I must admit that I was a bit jealous of her talents in high school, she could sing really well and she could dance really well. When we were on the dance team together, she would help me out a lot to the point that she even got mad and yelled at me. At first I thought she did not like me, but we became close enough friends.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

Jane Doe was also a very good singer, I do not know if she still sings now but I am sure she does. Well one day, Jane Doe came up to me and told me, "I think you are hot, go out with me." She asked me out in front of everyone who was at the table. I am not saying this to justify my reaction, which is coming up next, hold your horses, but this is a true story, so I need to tell what actually happened. She was sitting by me and she looked at me, I thought she was kidding but I knew she was not. I am not going to lie at the time she told me I knew that she was for real.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

After she told me I avoided her, when she came up to me I would acknowledge her and then leave. At the time I did not realize that this was known as coming out. Reflecting on my teenage self as an adult I wonder, "What if I was the first person that she had come out to?" "Wonder if she thought she could trust me?" "Wonder if I was the only support system that she had at that time?" My teenage self did not think these things, all I thought in my head was this was weird. Now, do not get me wrong, we did hang out after we graduated high school, but I feel a large amount of guilt because I did not apologize to her for the way I reacted.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

She had made an excuse saying that she was high at the time and whether that was the truth or not, I now feel that in my head I was insensitive to her coming out to me. Her and I were from the same culture, yet I treated her as if I was the least person who could understand her. Even though I am straight, I could have been the one to understand what her being a lesbian could mean in our culture, but I was not that person. I kept this monster bottled up inside and hoped that it would never come out, but this monster came out to me, looking for reflection, in more ways than one.

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016

My Reflection on National Coming Out Day 2016
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Most Helpful Girl

  • W31rd0
    "I think you are hot, go out with me."

    I would have never interpreted that as a romantic gesture or sexual advancement. To me, I would break the whole comment into two phrases. "I think you are hot" and "go out with me". The first phrase warrants an expression of gratitude, because someone is complimenting your appearance. The second phrase is a suggestion to go out together, not kiss/make-out/get married/meet my family type of thing. So, my response would be so: "Thanks. Sure, I will go out with you." If you accept the invitation, then you may get FREE food. That's how it is with most meetings.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • WhateversCheapest
    I'm not saying you have to be an asshole to be against homosexuality but literally everyone I've ever met who is against homosexuality is an asshole. Which is ironic, because these same people always talk about God and Jesus and being a great person and they're homophobic because God says homosexuality is bad, and then they turn out to be complete dicks. I don't have an issue with religious people, but don't be a fucking hypocrite.

    Anyways, good Take.
    Like 4 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • MrMysteryMan
    OK. For all those who say that God hates the LGBT (sorry if I forgot a few categories, but they are included in the context of this explanation) community, let's shed some light on this. God, has never mentioned, ever, about hating LGBTs. It's man-made Religion that takes what it can from the true, origins of God's words, AKA the true Bible and converts, alters, manipulates them into something that they can use for whatever purpose they deem fit. Here is some information I found:

    My late brother was gay, and I loved him as much as a brother should. He was family, and was so much fun to be around. God NEVER teaches HATE. Don't get it twisted. Religions teach hate at times, or suggest it indirectly. And, unfortunately, it is having very dangerous consequences in the world. This is why I am starting to have a bad taste in my mouth about "Religion". It's like Politics. A tool to control a mass or a country or a group. So please, don't generalize your criticism to God and that "He" says that he hates anything. There are so many good people out there who are living in fear of if they are a good person or not because of their sexual orientation. It doesn't change who you are inside. A good person is a good person until negative outside influences change that. I wish we could all learn this some day.
  • IceCubedude
    dude seriosuly fk off stop making a day for anything no one likes gays deal with it
    LikeDisagree 6 People
  • damnwinter
    In your defense, I do not think that is the best way to come out to someone, no matter who they are. First, one does it privately, and second, they don't do it by asking the person out! But sure, I get that you could have been a bit more sensitive, just saying, don't beat yourself up over it now, what is important is that you have learned the lesson from it. Now you have earned the right to move on and stop feeling guilty. :)
  • relaxrelax
    hun i can say the same thing
    one of my gay friends tried to kiss me
    and I avoided it like the matrix

    nope its wrong
    GOD said so
    i do not care about there feelings
    feelings are not reality

    I hate the gay agenda
    LikeDisagree 8 People
    • Zinkr7

      So you don't care about God's feelings?
      He ain't gunna like that.

    • relaxrelax


      no I don't care about the feelings of the gay agenda there lost and stupid
      penis + vagina = babies
      common sense

      now on top of that
      Genesis 3:15
      And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

      GOD just told the devil hey EVE'S kid is gonna mess you up

      now lets think of all the ways the DEVIL can save his own ass

      convincing people there gay
      making them kill one another
      private part mutilation
      having sex with animals instead of humans

      i mean the list goes on he has been doing this for years
      he has thought up stuff i probably can't imagine

    • Zinkr7

      Look I could care less about what God says.
      In fact, honestly, according to God, you're suppose to spread love (or at least, be accepting), not hate, so you already might as well sign yourself over to the devil tossing that "hate" word around. Hate is the word of the devil. ;)
      Oh also, not that I care what makes babies, that's irrelevant, but you don't actually need a penis to make babies, a vagina and another vagina can get the same result, just through an unconventional method using their bones, and it always results in a female child. Fun fact for you.

    • Show All
  • Rissyanne
    She came out to you by telling you you're hot and wants to go out with you? In front of people? I would be pissed. On top of that she was high.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    I have a foot fetish. Why would I ever feel the need to come out, as if my sexuality was relevant to anyone other than myself and future wife? Similarly, if someone is attracted to the same sex, why on Earth do they feel the need to "come out"? I ask this not pretentiously but seriously: why? This just seems like special snowflake bullshit for the same Millennials who made up some 20 different labels beyond the basic LGBT because they needed to feel special, even at the expense of scientific integrity.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • Because if anyone did ever somehow find out that you have a foot fetish, no one would give a fuck. But if people were to find out a person is gay, they could potentially face repricussions.

    • Zinkr7

      Pretty much because it was socially unacceptable to be gay, still is a little to some groups of people, you can browse some of them commenting on here.
      Really isn't the "special snowflake" bullshit, which I know what you're referring to about.

    • Zinkr7

      Additionally, revealing that you're gay helps you find other gay people.
      Same with the foot fetish. That being public-er makes it easier.
      But in the case of gay people, it's more needed, because you can introduce a loved one to the fetish, but you can't get the right kind of loved one in the first place if no one knows.

    • Show All
  • Aaron2401
    The fact that you feel bad about it shows how much you've grown since then.
    Like 1 Person
  • justagirl5
    I have a similar experience. I was insensitive to the subject in high school as well. College made me grow though and become more aware. One of my friends is lesbian, and no she doesn't hit on me or anything creepy like I thought lesbians did in high school. I've also met a few gay guys and honestly they're nicer than most straight guys. My close friend is bi but he went though a time he thought he was 100% gay... I fell in love with him but we couldn't date because he still had to work out his sexuality... but still, I'd pick him over the 100% straight guy who doesn't know how to treat women any day. Point being, it's a loveable community and while I myself am straight, I love having friends from this community, and they definitely don't deserve hate. People just need to take the time to know them as people rather than sticking labels and negative stereotypes onto them
    • I think it all comes down to the individual. I have met rude and mean gay guys

  • Fathoms77
    ... let me just say I'm really very glad I'm not in college these days.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • Editor
    My favorite part about things like this is how everybody gets to be authentic and brave.
  • NevedaGirl
    I do not believe in the LGBT community, it's not natural
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • Zinkr7

      I mean... it naturally happened? And they very much are real?

    • @Zinkr7 she's not talking about it being real she's talking about it not being natural to engage in it there's a difference

    • Zinkr7

      Yes and it naturally happens? So like, maybe she doesn't understand what naturally means.

    • Show All
  • MysteriousDarkness
    It is actually LGBTQIAA. I have always bern open about my sexuality
  • LadyTerror
    Good take!
  • Adigelunar
    -Good post
  • AmericanDude
    I'm cool with the LGBTQ community