The Differences Between Homophobic and Just Not Supporting Gay Marriage


The Differences Between Homophobic and Just Not Supporting Gay Marriage

There is a HUGE difference between someone who doesn't support gay marriage, and someone who is actually homophobic.

1. A homophobic person HATES gay people.

You can hate what someone is doing without actually hating them.

2. A homophobic can also FEAR homosexuals.

There's a reason it's a phobia. Some people actually fear homosexuals.

3. A homophobic could never have a peaceful conversation with someone who is a part of the LGBT group.

If you're homophobic, you're probably going to insult or hate on homosexuals, and probably wouldn't be able peacefully talk to them as equals. Someone who just doesn't support can.

4. A homophobic wouldn't be able to have a peaceful debate

A homophobic wouldn't ever be able to have a peaceful and respectful debate about this subject. Someone who just doesn't support would.

People who don't support gay marriage get as much hate as homosexuals, and I guess we could argue that it's not a choice because of all the hate we get. But, we don't hate homosexuals, we just don't agree with what they're doing. So next time you meet someone who says they don't support gay marriage, please don't call them a homophobe unless they are actually acting like one.

The Differences Between Homophobic and Just Not Supporting Gay Marriage

The Differences Between Homophobic and Just Not Supporting Gay Marriage
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Fathoms77
    Thanks for writing this. I'm getting really sick of the self-proclaimed lovers of freedom of speech essentially telling everyone what we can and can't say, and what we can and can't think.

    Frankly, I don't care about gay marriage one way or the other. But someone is absolutely allowed to oppose it, and it doesn't automatically make them "gay haters." The amount of hate THEY get for thinking this way FAR exceeds that of actually being gay, that's for sure.

    The current regime hasn't the slightest clue what the word "equal" means.
    Is this still revelant?
    • But... why oppose it, if you don't dislike gays? I guess people see it as a religious imposition, but gay people can be religious too ofc.

    • Fathoms77

      @SovereignessofVamps You don't have to love everything someone does. Doesn't mean you hate them or want them dead.

      It's perfectly plausible that someone could have no issue with another's sexual preference, but would have a very large issue with gay marriage. And there's nothing wrong with that, either.

    • rjroy3


      That's kind of like asking if you dislike your sister, because you don't support her cheating on her boyfriend. Well no. You love your family, but you fundamentally disagree with what they are doing. It's not a personal afront to them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • mermaidrocketship
    Exactly. I'm a Christian who doesn't support gay marriage, but I have watched shows/movies with gay characters and associated with gay people (I'm pretty sure I have a friend who's gay but I'm pretty bad at noticing that sort of thing). Someone who's homophobic will behave in a manner that's absolutely shocking and is the type to harass gay couples and the like. Most people are just going to let bygones be bygones.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

    thank you for this.
    these days people love to label a person homophobic or say that their opinion is wrong just because it's not the same as theirs.

      these same tolerant people have no sympathy for other abnormal sexual orientations

    • askfeee

      you clearly don’t know what a homophobic person is or what homophobia means

  • JustALittlePerson
    What nonsense. If you have no problem with gay people why would you have a problem with them getting married?

    The next time I meet someone who says they don't support gay marriage, I won't call them a homophobe, unless they are actually acting like one, I will ask them the single most important question to my mind, the point you're skirting around... WHY?
    • This is what I was thinking as well.

    • Anonymous

      I was not skirting around a question. This my take is about the differences, not WHY you don't support

    • Yes, but my point is that the differences between being homophobic and not supporting gay marriage, if there are any, are not important. Because at the end of the day if in your eyes there is nothing wrong wrong with being gay than what on earth, in your eyes, could you deem to be wrong with gay people having equal rights, such as the right to marry, as everybody else? (do please enlighten me as to the answer of this question). It seems very much a non-argument to me. But, I could be missing something.

  • AleDeEurope
    Finally someone that gets it. The other day I was having a discussion with one Gagger trying to show him it's not the same thing.
    If you're homophobic, you're against gay marriage, but just because you're against gay marriage doesn't mean you're a homophobe.

    I support gay marriage, but I know the difference, and I respect people's beliefs, as longs as they're not physically harming others.
  • confusedapplepie
    um no?
    if you dont support gay marriage you dont see them as equal as your hetero fellas who may marry in your opinion.
    so you think theyre not the "same worth" soo if you go by the words of hate and fear i would classify that as some passive hate.
    • Anonymous

      They're not worth any less then me. They're worth the same as any other person. And I think that straight sex before marriage is wrong too, but someone who does that isn't worth any less. We're all the same, they just sin in a different way. Its not hate, or I must hate myself all the time since I sin as well, and even though its not in the same way I'm still just as guilty.

  • Library
    Excuse me, but there is no difference! A person who isn't homophobic doesn't go against same-sex marriage. Having freedom of speech is one thing but it doesn't give you the right to try to take away another person's freedom and tell gays that they shouldn't get married. Same sex couples are not any less legitimate than opposite sex couples... You are basically viewing/treating them as second class citizens when you say things like "they shouldn't be allowed to marry." I don't care you can go ahead and stick up for yourself all you want but it doesn't change the truth about who you are as a person...
    • Library

      Oh, by the way gay people don't try to tell straight people they shouldn't get married and if they did how would it make you feel? No one is forcing you to have a gay marriage. You don't agree with gay marriage then you don't get one!

    • I love this.

    • Toriiiii


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  • MargaritaPeach
    Let me ask you this: are you equally vocal about judging heterosexual people for their moral shortfalls? Because if you don't hate all sin equally, you are just prejudice.
    • Anonymous

      Of course. All sin is equally wrong

    • Well, there is nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe. I guess at least you are equally judgmental across the board. But thinking you deserve the opportunity to marry while other people don't still seems pretty selfish.

  • CisScum
    Just because it may not be homophobia it doesn't mean it isn't ignorant or it doesn't mean you aren't close minded.
    • It means they have a different opinion than you. If you can't accept that and be civil, you are closed minded and can only accept your own view.

    • CisScum

      @AdamsModernMan opinions can still be ignorant and not right. Just because it's an opinion makes no difference.

    • How do you know your opinion is 100% correct and who are you to tell others to not have an opinion?

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  • beautifulangel76
    Thank you. I don't agree with homosexuality but I don't hate or have a phobia of gay people. I have a friend who is gay and many family members that are too and I still love them I just don't like what they do
  • Theodorable
    I think it's no one's business what two consenting adults do in their own home. I also think there should be NO laws or policy against public display of emotions or laws prejudicing anyone. I think everyone in America should have equal protections under law.

    I also thing society is mildly reckless when they promote homosexuality as a preferable, enlightened, fashionable, life style. -- I don't see any evidence that being homosexual is a healthier or happier way to live. They DO however per capita make more money and they tend to be better educated, but homosexuals also tend to have many negative and high risk behaviors attached to their community.

    In a desire to support, promote and be inclusive, our society has become homo-retarded. I don't believe in morals, generally speaking, but I do believe in manners, honesty, and realistic analysis, but the public debate is muted by people who abruptly simplify things and accuse the other side of being bigots when they ask questions or present evidence. My take.
  • godfatherfan
    sorry, you cannot make any logical or intelligent defense of not allowing anyone that wants to get married, the ability to get married.
    People are people, plain and simple.
    So either your a homophobe or a religious whack job. either way your dangerous and needs serious psychological help.
  • RationalMale
    A phobia is an irrational or dislike.

    According to the CDC, men who have sex with men are 2% of the population in the USA... and have 17 times higher rate of anal cancer, and account for 75% of primary and secondary syphilis cases. They also have 57% of HIV infections.

    Meaning it is completely rational to dislike homosexuality... not a phobia.
    • Infynis

      1. This only applies to homosexual men. Surprisingly, women can be gay too.
      2. Disliking someone because they have an illness is not at all rational.

    • @Infynis
      1. Surprisingly almost half of lesbian women suffer report having suffered domestic violence from a lesbian lover, and 3/4's of bisexual women report having suffered domestic violence, showing that being bi or lesbian for a woman is closely linked to domestic violence. Ironically 40% of gay men and 47% of bi men reported domestic violence.
      2. Disliking people for living an extremely unhealthy lifestyle is perfectly rational. Same as disliking someone because they are an alcoholic. It's a lifestyle that legal and extremely destructive.

    • 2%? No way at least 20%

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  • rjroy3

    Lol. That awkward moment when you didn't realize how childish you were acting. To be honest you really didn't refute any of my points. You're too emotionally attached to this subject and your opinion of it that you give yourself a mental highfive, whenever present a "point" when it's really not.
  • JustinTheGreat
    You may not hate gay people, but you don't support them having the same rights as straight people. Which is kinda fucked up
  • MaiNameIsSunshine
    Say all you want about disliking or disagreeing with homosexuality but taking away their human rights is not freedom of speech hun, that's not how it works.
    • askfeee

      Don’t care what the dislikes say, you’re speaking the truth. a lot of people lack the compassion, and believe that because they have “freedom of speech” they don’t have to be mindful of the things they say

  • askfeee
    your words: “ People who don't support gay marriage get as much hate as homosexuals, and I guess we could argue that it's not a choice because of all the hate we get. But, we don't hate homosexuals, we just don't agree with what they're doing. So next time you meet someone who says they don't support gay marriage, please don't call them a homophobe unless they are actually acting like one” I don’t think you’ve understood the DEEPER meaning of homophobia or an homophobic person, the definition of homophobia Is “ Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender” So, in other words Someone that is Homophobic doesn’t necessarily dislike the person that is a HOMOSEXUAL they “just dont agree with what they’re doing” like what you stated. Here’s a better an example, “A homophobic person that doesn’t support gay people won’t support gay marriage, similar to a person that doesn’t support gay marriage won’t support gay people” Your being HOMOPHOBIC but with EXTRA STEPS and here’s how I know because you aren’t signaling out MARRIAGE as a whole, you believe people should get married– JUST NOT GAY PEOPLE. you said it yourself you don’t “AGREE” with what they’re doing, kind of like what a homophobic person does
  • randomhobo
    Apart from being against gay marriage is directly an opinion towards the equalisation of that particular group. You believe they should not be allowed to get married, that they shouldn't have the same rights as a subset. That in itself is bigoted.
  • oddwaffle
    Well this guy called John here thinks all marriages are wrong anyways. Jack over there thinks space aliens have infiltrated the human race. Jenny thinks porn is the work of the evil vampires.

    You belong to the same basket as those people.

    I am not an atheist, I just think religious people read the wrong book. There are much better fantasy books out there.
    • mike004

      "im not an atheist" and yet you are hating on religion... then wtf r u lmao

    • oddwaffle


      Don't know much about religion do we?

  • McCurious
    I'm a straight guy and live in Canada where we've had gay marriage for ages, and it just hasn't made any difference. So those two guys are dating - or are they married? What DIFFERENCE does it make? They are living their own, boring, normal lives where they wash laundry and clean the kitchen and pay taxes and feel too tired to go out and all this stuff. And there you are making some ridiculous moral judgment about the state of their relationship. It's just bizarre.
  • bente2
    There is none. If you think it's okay to deny someone a legal paper because of their sexuality, you do not support their sexuality making you a homophobe. There is no excuse.
  • cipher42
    1. How can you support denying a group equal rights and say you don't hate them?
    2. The reason it's a phobia is because some old ass theory about homophobia, not because any significant number of people actually fear gay people.
    3. Yes, they could? Being prejudiced against a group doesn't make you incapable of any self control.
    4. This is the same reason as 3?

    Conclusion thing:
    Getting hate for being hateful is not the same fucking thing as getting hate for being alive.

    As I said in 1, not supporting gay marriage IS acting like a homophobe.

  • sedrftvgyhujik
    Its just stupid to be anti gay marriage it doesn't change things for any of us just for gay pepole. I can see why you might support it or feel indifferent but i don't see any reason to be against it?
  • reixun
    "I just think it's wrong" doesn't work when we're discussing rights. Do you support gay rights? No? You're a bigot. Yes? You aren't a bigot.
  • Rissyanne
    Honestly... I could care less if someone wants to get married or who they want to marry. I really dont see why anyone would want to marry in this day and age. I never intend to marry again.
  • Toriiiii
    I get it, just because you have religious views against gay marriage and homosexuality in general doesn't make you one of these cunts

    BUT, that doesn't mean you get off the hook in my book ok? In my opinion, anyone who fails to see that LGBT people are PEOPLE just like anyone else and should the same social respect are assholes who need to stop walking around with their noses in the sky like "I'm straight and normal like god intended so fuck all you weirdos" I don't people like that so search your heart and your head and figure it out bro. There's nothing wrong with them.
    • Anonymous

      I never said once in my post that they were weirdos or that I was normal. No, they are normal. I believe that we all do things that are wrong, that's part of being human. I don't think I'm better than them, and I think a straight couple who has sex before marriage is just as guilty. I think that when I do something that isn't right, I'm just as guilty as them.

  • Jxpxtxr
    So according to your logic not supporting black people's rights/equality doesn't you a racist and not supporting women's rights/equality doesn't make you a sexist, either?
    • rjroy3

      To be fair, being sexist doesn't necessarily mean they dislike the opposite gender lol. So even if they oppose women's rights. Yes they are sexist, but isn't a guarantee they dislike women.

      The race comparison isn't quite the same, because gay people could get married, just not to eachother. Marriage was a specific legal agreement. They wanted to turn it into something else so that they could marry.

      With black people marriage was just held from them because marriage was a union between man and woman. Not white man and white woman. They met the criteria. So not supporting black marriage was/is racist. The thing about racism tho is that it's usually coupled with dislike or hate unlike sexism.

      Just my round about way of saying yes you can disagree with gay marriage and not be homophobic, because homophobic is about actual hate. What's to say someone didn't simply hold marriage as sacred?

    • Jxpxtxr

      @rjroy3 I'm sorry but I disagree entirely.
      Not granting everyone the same rights simply based on their sexuality makes you a massive bigot & a homophobe.

    • rjroy3

      No need to apologize.

      I agree everyone should have the same rights. And they do have the same rights. If a gay person wants to get married to someone of the opposite gender they have the right to do so. No one is stopping them. The problem is they want to change marriage.

      Marriage is a legal contract between man and woman with the state. The stipulation being man and woman are the ones getting married. When black people were kept from doing this it was an imposition of their rights, because of what marriage is core. Everyone has the right. What's happening now is people are fighting for a new contract the state recognizes and offers benefits to, but does not have the same stipulations of marriage.

      No one is stopping them from loving, living with and sleeping with who they want. They're just saying that marriage is a specific contract gay couples don't qualify for. The state benefits from male/female family units. That is part of the reason the state offers benefits.

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  • Curmudgeon
    Well said. Ask any fatherless child how s/he felt growing up without a dad. And two lesbians with a turkey baster are still creating by definition a fatherless child. (Besides, I thought the whole point of being gay was not wanting the traditional family thing--so why to recreate a bad imitation of it?)

    Do such relationships deserve legal recognition as "domestic partnerships" for the purpose of hospital visits, legal inheritance, etc? Sure. But what we have had, especially with the Supreme Court Judicial coup d'etat, was a dogmatic demand that said relationships were the exact same as marriages, whatever status they do legally merit.

    You can call a cat a dog because it also has four legs and a tail, but it's still a cat.

    Reality on reality's terms, folks.
    • Children raised by single mothers should also be outlawed I guess?

    • Curmudgeon

      @MaiNameIsSunshine Well, they certainly should not be *Encouraged*. I remember a former Vice President getting pilloried for this suggestion when a prominent TV show of the time seemed to glorify single motherhood.

      Well, guess what? He was right.

  • Tanuron
    I dont see how trying to deny gay people a simple right that straight people have which dosent even affect you in any shape or form is any valid reason.

    Cause hell, if you simply dont "agree" with their way of living, thats still not a reason to deny that right.

    For example. Cause I disagree with your line of thought, does that mean I think people should be banned from sharing their opinion?, nope. I think people should have the freedom of speech to voice their opinion, even if I strongly disagree with it. Should be the same for gay marriage. People should be allowed to do so, you can disagree with their way of life all you want, but you shouldn't deny that right just like you shouldn't deny people the right of their freedom of speech.
    • Tanuron

      Might as well just say "I dont support freedom of speech" , Its just as stupid honestly.

  • GoodLuckCharlie
    I'm not homophobic, but I just can't understand what homosexuals are thinking about... I don't get how they are attracted to people of the same gender. I guess I will never know because I've never been one of them.
  • mits777
    I don't care about gays they can do whatever they want, even marry. I just don't agree that they should adopt children because I think that a child should have always a mother not two dudes raising him.
    • askfeee

      so, you are homophobic in other words. Majority of the times children are put in the system by their Mother’s ( and/ or fathers) I need to ask what’d you think mother’s are capable of when raising children that father aren't?

  • Noxifer626
    So you want heterosexual people to have more rights than homosexual people.
    Not homophobic at all. Got it.
  • heavenlyhannah
    I'm not a homophobic, I just don't support it. Those who know me on here please don' unfollow or be upset, I don't care if you're gay, les, bi, etc. It's just not for me is all.
  • Phoenix98
    People will never accept people who think that way sadly because if you don't think like them and think that homosexual marriage is ok then your close minded or a bigot or some nonsense like that.

    Funnily enough all the things those people blame us for being they themselves are. What I said above about them not accepting our view can be very clearly seen down below.

    For instance I don't and will never support any pro homosexual laws or gay marriage but I do not hate the people. I have nothing agaisnt the people I don't hate them, I just don't like what they practice and won't support it.
    • Toriiiii

      Then marry a woman and stay the fuck out other people's love lives

    • Phoenix98

      @Toriiiii How about you people stop shoving your ideology down our throats when we very clearly do not want it or to accept it.

      Seriously you people piss me off, you gawk and rant about equality, freedom of speech, being progressive except that only matters when it applies to you but no one else, you people are hypocrites and bigots.

      Now go away before I block you "kid".

  • TadCurious
    I only have one minor disagreement with your take. You write that:
    1. A homophobic person HATES gay people.
    Actually, as you say later, that's not really the definition of "homophobic." Strictly speaking, a phobia about anything (______phobia) is just a fear of that thing. I'm pointing this out because of the way terminology is used by the Left. They take something they are for or against, and then anyone who disagrees with them are labeled as "______phobic." It's a clever trick. But then they don't even stick to what the label actually means. The vast majority of people who don't support so-called "gay marriage" aren't homophobic at all. They're not afraid of homosexuals. They just don't agree with redefining what marriage is.
  • Jager66
    If no one is forcing you to be part of the wedding I don't understand why people would be so opposed to it.. Live and let Live man.
  • helloitsmethere
    There is a difference between free speech and just being a straight up asshole.
  • lumberman9
    I mean I'm kind of the fence about the whole gay thing, and whether I think you're right or wrong you are entitled to your opinion just be respectful of my opinion
  • skeptic002
    exactly people just don't get it

    if i was really homophobic
    I would have killed one by now for saying hi
  • Ghassan
    Exactly. I don't support it, but it doesn't mean I'm against them, I think it's wrong and I wish I could help.
    • askfeee

      Are you dense? If you don’t support someone then you are against them, think of it like a basketball ball game ( or any other sport) the goal is: TO WIN so, if you aren’t supporting ur teammates in the journey to win the game, then like the other team you are against them

  • sjoes006
    There isn't one.
    • Anonymous

      If you like... Say, dogs and always play with them and spend time with them, but I HATE dogs, and hate that you spend time with them, do I hate you? No. I hate what you're doing, not sure who u are.

      Just an example

  • Relentless_Hippie
    Omg yes! This is everything.
  • SnowHearth
    I agree.
  • Thisperson98
    Nice take.
  • Adigelunar
  • thecalmerface
    they're one and the same.
  • Anonymous
    Hate is TAUGHT and LEARNED
  • Anonymous
    Saying you're not homophobic and yet don't approve gay marriage is like some saying they are not anti-American but does not believe America should allow to exist.
  • Anonymous
    First off, I'd like to say that I found this post to be really dumb. Second off, why are you against gay marriage? How does their marriage impact you in any way? Don't give me some bs like "it goes against the sanctity of marriage" because I've seen straight couples who clearly don't respect the "sanctity" of marriage. I want a legit answer, with facts and reasoning.
    • askfeee

      thank you. People believe that becomes someone is STRAIGHT they’re just overall better at marriage or being a parent

  • Anonymous
    I'm not racist. I don't hate black people. I also don't fear black people. I can also have a peaceful conversation with people who are part of the black community. I am more than happy to peacefully debate the topic of black marriage.

    But I don't think that black people should marry. I don't believe they should marry anyone regardless if they are black or non-black.

    I'm not racist, I just think it's wrong.
    • Anonymous

      Sometimes you need to take a double take and realise how offensive and insulting your view is to members and supporters of the LGBT community. That's why people will consider your views as homophobic.

    • rjroy3

      The problem is that sexual orientation is different from ethnicity and because of that this is just a false analogy. Someone might be equally offended, but the claim is not the same outside of word usage.

    • rjroy3

      Other than being used for classifications for a hate crime race and sexual orientation do not have any properties in common

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  • Anonymous
    Free speech doesn't mean your not a homophobe, it just means you can't be jailed for sharing your opinions. I think using your beliefs to keep come someone else from living their life the way they want is wrong and it cracks me up that these people bring up their free speach and saying they shouldn't be called things or judged on it but it's okay for them to interfere in other peoples lives when really it has absolutely nothing to do with them.
  • Anonymous
    I agree 100%. For example, I'm an atheist, so religious doctrines mean nothing to me, but I don't support LGBT because it's not natural, I consider is a genetic error and/or hormonal disbalance (which can occur in humans and other animals).
    • blue eyes also started as a genetic error but guess what: perfectly normal, nothing wrong with it. its fucking natural to have genetic errors.

    • Anonymous

      @confusedapplepie Blue eyes are not a problem, they look pretty, but LGBT isn't estetic, you know what I mean... it's a perversion (using non-sexual organs in purpose of "sex") - I hope you know biology, mouth and anus are not sex organs.