Parents Should Allow Teenage Children More Freedom

Parents Should Allow Teenage Children More Freedom

As the eldest daughter of three, and living in a modern-day wog home, I wouldn't say I've had the hardest time being allowed out, but having a boyfriend was a completely different situation.

Being 18 years old, up until recently I have never had a boyfriend, mostly because of parental rules. I have been "protected" or so they say. When I try bringing up that they in fact got together at my age, my mum says "times were different" and I feel like saying how? HOW? The guy still had a dick and needs, and the female still had a vagina and was able to fill those needs. How is it different?

I completely understand they want what's best for us, but is it really best for us, to be shut out from the world and then all of a sudden, when its time to grow up, throw us into the cold water?

As I was saying I have recently found myself in a relationship, but I must keep this a secret because a) my mum is so awkward to talk about guys with and doesn't understand that I have needs (yes, sexual needs too but not exactly what I'm implying here). b) my dad is SUPER strict and is a no-go.

Parents Should Allow Teenage Children More Freedom

We teenagers crave the feeling to be wanted, needed, especially by someone of whom we are attracted to. If parents understood this, and encouraged healthy relationships instead of saying no (and we have to go behind their backs) then it would be sooo much easier for us!

I'm not at all saying, allow me to bring him in my bedroom, lock the door and kaboom...not at all. But by allowing us to have a place where we can be together encourages a healthy relationship and reduces the risk of us doing things we would regret.

So to all the parents out there, no matter how much of a good child your daughter or son is, needs are needs and I can almost guarantee you, if you don't stop for a minute, realize they are growing up and treat them like an adult, they will go behind your back (once again, not talking about sex explicitly but talking about romantic relationships).

Parents Should Allow Teenage Children More Freedom
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Righttobeararms83
    Sounds like you parents did right by you. A bit extreme maybe not letting you have boyfriend's but a lot of teens are distracted from school by boyfriend drama and the rest and there are plenty of time for it after. Personally I think kids are too coddled today and sent into the world ill equipped to deal with life's harsh realities.
    Just one question "allowing us to have a place where we can be together encourages a healthy relationship and reduces the risk of us doing things we would regret" where exactly would that be and how would it impact on the rest of the household?
    Is this still revelant?
    • Elisa13

      So like instead of saying, no boyfriends at all and defs not allowed home, allow them to spend time in our house with us, maybe not bedrooms for obvs reasons but in the siting room and things like that, instead of us having to sneak around and doing irrational things...

    • Was It not mor fun that way. Trust your parents

    • Elisa13

      so no relationship at all?

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • bente2
    I feel like this is everywhere in the world EXCEPT the netherlands and belgium. Like I was upstairs with my boyfriend at thirteen. My parents have always trusted me as long as I didn't want to go far away with someone they don't know. All the kids I know that are actually dutch or flemish (meaning not an immigrant) are free af.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • VirginiaBeachBum
    When my daughter and I thought she was ready, I did let her bring her boyfriend to our home. And yes, they were allowed to go to her room and he was allowed to sleep over on occasion. But I knew where she was, that she was safe and protected (in all ways) and was only a scream away from help if there was any trouble. Fortunately, there was none, and she grew up with a very healthy attitude towards sex. It wasn't easy for me to make that decision, but I did get used to it and it was far better than not knowing what she was up to and with whom. I knew if I told her no, she would sneak out and have sex in a much less safe environment. I saw no reason to fight a losing battle.
    • Elisa13

      We need more adults like you around!

    • Elisa13

      just re-read ur comment, could you please write an article or something like your opinion is amazing

  • FýrdracaDócincel
    I have a very strict policy when it comes to the girls I date: Your parents are independent of us whether they like it or not. I will do what I want with her when I want to (within the range of her consent, of course) and if her parents don't like it, that's too fucking bad.

    Go ahead Mr. Big Daddy. Beat the crap out of me, shoot at me, it'll only end with you in cuffs and/or with multiple stabbing wounds.

    Go ahead Mrs. Super Mom. Try to isolate her from me, but don't cry when your daughter suddenly becomes isolated from you.

    I don't take protectiveness from parents personally, see. Only I do not stand for anything trying to get in the way of my relationships, especially entitled snots who think they still own their little angel.

    Phew, that felt good to get out.
    • Elisa13

      It feels good to let it out doesn't it!! I agree with you totally., the more my parents lock me up- the more I wanna escape. I mean if they were understanding at least i could bring him to family functions and on family road trips

  • SlightlyCrazy
    That was pretty grounded for a teen angst rant. Nice !
    • Elisa13

      Thank you, like I can understand where the parents are coming from and all, but by closing us away from it we crave it even more!

    • Pretty much

  • chrisbigman
    In an ideal world? Yes. But kids tend to make stupid decisions. The more they keep doing that, the less freedom they should have. It's for their own sakes (kids), not their parents.
    I agree, parents shouldn't stop their children from dating.
  • Theodorable
    False. Mine will be grounded for turning 13 and ungrounded at 22.
  • Adigelunar
    good topicc
  • MissSakura
    good point