Why I Think Men Suffer Just As Much Abuse As Women

[CloudyEmily]

I can get very upset about how my ex treated me and about men who view women purely sexually but the truth is, I think there are just as many men in my situation as women. Here are a few examples:

Sexual harassment

I've witnessed this countless times where men have been sexually harassed by a man or a women day in day out when they were clearly not interested at all. The worse thing is that sometimes it wasn't taken as seriously as when it happens to a women. I mean the poor guy I saw this happen to had this girl practically throw herself on his lap every time she saw him and she was touching him in ways that made him very uncomfortable but the only person in his entourage who took it seriously was me. And I think it was because he was a man.

Rape

It's not just women who get raped. Men can be forced into performing sexual acts they do not want to do. Not just by other men, either. A guy can be sexually abused by a women, it does happen but I don't think a lot of men feel like they are able to speak up about it because they're worried they will be viewed as weak or even pathetic to some people. This just isn't fair for men to be in this situation. Not to mention all the other types of abuse that can happen to me like gang rapes, underage sex with an adult etc...

Abusive relationships

I've seen just as many men being emotionally abused in a relationship as women. If they want to, women can completely destroy a man through a relationship just as easily, if not more in some cases. Physical abuse can also happen coming from a women but I think this is more rare as women tend to be physically weaker (less muscles, smaller etc..) than their man but obviously there are a quite a few exceptions to this. Not to mention that some women don't need to be physically stronger as they take advantage of the fact that their partner is a decent guy and wouldn't hit a women back. I remember one report in the news where this absolutely horrible woman chewed her partner's ear off and he was too kind to hurt her back even though he was a very strong muscular guy.

Sexualisation

Men definitely can suffer from being viewed purely as sexual meat. I mean I don't even know why this is under question for some people, I see it happen every single day. For example, locker room talk doesn't just happen for guys. I've heard many girls talk about how a guy is physically in quite a degrading way and about their sexual encounters with him. Another example is men who work at pools or beaches, a lot of women don't take their job seriously and think they're just there for sex. These men can and do save lives. My uncle is a lifeguard and is often very upset by the way women view him and his work.

In any case, I really feel the need to stand up for women and their rights but I feel the same need to say that men face similar issues we do and that no one should underestimate that.

[Idonthaveausername]

I agree with this completely. I hate it when I see girls obviously being abusive to their boyfriends in public and the guys just take it. Does it make them feel more manly or something because they're bigger or have all the girls they've dated done this to them? It's no more acceptable for a woman to hit a man than it is for a man to hit a woman.

[doodlecake]

I'm not gonna hit my no-existent girlfriend. Not just cause she doesn't exist, but cause she's a girl. Just how some guys think :-\

[Idonthaveausername]

@doodlecake I'm definitely not saying you should hit her back because physical violence isn't healthy in a relationship. What I'm saying is I don't understand why men stay with abusive women. I don't understand why anyone chooses to stay in an abusive relationship

I see more girls hitting their boyfriends in public than guys hitting their girls. I get that it's because someone would call the cops if they saw a guy beating up a girl, but that's a twisted double-standard to allow a girl to be the aggressor and not the guy. And yes, Men are bigger, so they're capable of doing more physical damage, but abuse is abuse no matter how dark the bruises

And I firmly believe women are capable of dishing out more psychological abuse than men. They play more head games and use emotional blackmail to get what they want

I'm not going to hit my non-existant boyfriend. Not because he doesn't exist, but because he's a human being. Just how I think

[doodlecake]

You are smart human being.

[Idonthaveausername]

@doodlecake
Thanks you. I guess learning how to write all those persuasive essays in AP English class helped me with being able to express my views and opinions on the internet. Lol

[ThisDudeHere]

https://i.imgur.com/AjDFxXH.gif

[Rawrzz]

Overall, good take. I like it.

Though, if we want to talk about overall abuse, then we should also include violent crime. Women are raped significantly more than men are. Well, unless you count prisons, but that doesn't really count in society as a whole. But, men--at least on college campuses (certainly off them, but I don't know the stats for that, probably a lot more than double)--are in more need of safe spaces than are women, given that they are twice as likely to be the victim of a violent crime, at all. So, while women are more likely to be raped, men are more in significantly more danger, overall.

Of course, I suppose you are speaking only of gender abuse.

The truly fucked up part here is that if a man is not experiencing the exact same negatives that women are, then it is considered irrelevant. Being sexualized? Men really don't care about that. In fact, it's probably a plus. Any unwanted attention from undesirable women isn't a big deal to most men.

I think your MyTake shows that issue clearly. Men's problems are not considered problems unless they are problems that women have, as well. Because that's the only way society knows how to care. It's only *relatable* if it's naturally a female issue.

According to the CDC, when it comes to severe domestic abuse, it's about 50/50. As someone pointed out to me, this doesn't take into account homosexuals. But that's an annoying thing to subtract from it, so I'll just go with 50/50. For mild-moderate abuse, last I saw, it was 80% male on female violence, 20% female on male; yet, this doesn't take into account male pride. Men aren't going to go to the doctor or the police and say "I got my ass whooped by my woman". That's emasculating. So, overall, I'd probably guess it's around 60/40, or yes 50/50.

How strong women are doesn't really matter when the man is asleep. There have been several women who have castrated their husbands/bfs while they were sleeping.

Or when she has a weapon. The reason weak-ass humans survived this long isn't due to our strength, but our opposable thumbs and wits. Physical strength means little in how much you can fuck someone up. And yes, as you say, most men essentially have their hands tied behind there backs by the rule of "it's never okay to hit a woman (even if she's beating the shit out of you)"

[redeyemindtricks]

The sexual assault and rape of men is, indeed, a problem that isn't sufficiently acknowledged.

The SEXUALIZATION of men, though?
Nope.

Hear me out here.

The sexualization of WOMEN is a problem because it LEADS TO ACTUAL PREJUDICE and discriminatory actions.

Women who are very attractive -- or who have big breasts, voluptuous hourglass figures, or other things that "look slutty" or obviously *womanly* -- are TREATED DIFFERENTLY. Treated much worse, in many cases.

In the workplace, "sexualized" women are given separate -- and MUCH stricter -- dress codes. Or criticized for wearing clothes that wouldn't get a second look on women with different bodies. They're treated unfairly by *both* sexes, but ESPECIALLY by female bosses and co-workers.

Socially, "hot" women -- especially if their BODIES are "slutty-looking", which is absolutely no fucking fault of their own -- have more drama in their friendships... for the same underlying reasons.
Girlfriends don't trust them around their men, and may become distant when relationships start. Unfamiliar women treat them with suspicion, sometimes with hostility.

Men don't treat them the same way, either. One could blame this on the fact that "their brains go soft when their dicks get hard"... but... I've noticed a VERY real tendency for men to ASSUME that busty, voluptuous, "hot" women are less intelligent, less competent, and basically almost nothing more than bimbos -- and for them to treat those women accordingly.
Ask some women with "slutty-looking bodies" about the difficulties they'll encounter just trying to have a goddamn *conversation* with men. (Or with other women, sometimes, even... especially when they're still in their teens or 20's.)

Fuck. That. Noise.

Sure, we sexualize men, too. Lord knows I'm guilty of that myself... you should hear the nasty shit my girlfriends and I say about hot boys.
BUT.
But but but but.
Does this EVER result in any actual prejudices, or assumptions, or... ANYTHING negative, against those hot guys?
Fuck no it doesn't.
Quite the opposite. Look up ANY study of male attractiveness and perceived competence/charisma/intelligence. Even studies of male attractiveness vs. perceived MORAL standing.
People assume -- mostly subconsciously -- that hot guys are smarter, nicer, more competent, more dominant, more successful, more *destined* for success... and even more morally upstanding.

"Sexualization" of hot guys has NEVER hurt them, or held them back. Fuck that shit.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

This is only the second time I've ever disagreed with something you have said. You say that men automatically assume that more sexual looking women are "nothing more than bimbos" *just because*?

Nope. It's in the attitude. I can guarantee that bit right now. I've met plenty of very sexually attractive girls who were taken very seriously by others.

Why? Because they didn't constantly try to flaunt how much "better" they were than everyone else around them. Showing confidence and a strong vibe of being in control is one thing, virtually waving a huge flag around listing all the reasons why those around you should kiss the very ground you walk on is another.

That there is the difference, my friend. You said it yourself, you're a narcissist. That combined with your consistent emphasis on "tearing the blues and pinks a new one" as I've seen you word it before tells me everything I know about why you think like this.

(cont'd)

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Now, I'm sure there are guys out there who think that of sexually modeled women regardless of her personality, but those are the guys who see women as subordinates with very little to offer anyway.

Based on your other posts, I can tell you and your friends hang around a a lot of those. I'm sure *your* man isn't like this, but still.

[redeyemindtricks]

@FýrdracaDócincel While I respect yr perspective, this is one of the times when I just have to point to the fact that (a) you are a boy, and (b) you are 19 years old. There's NO WAY you could possibly have a statistically significant data set here, from yr life experience.

These are things that **even the affected women themselves** sometimes don't systematically start to notice, until they're in their mid-20's and starting to advance through the professional world.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Your point letter A can be immediately canceled out by the fact that you're a woman.

Plus you mentioned that this is most prevalent in teen years and early twenties. I'm right in there.

[redeyemindtricks]

@FýrdracaDócincel Early teens/20's is when the whole Mean Girls thing is usually still going strong, among women.

Differential treatment from men is mostly a thing with somewhat older and more "established" men. Don't take this the wrong way, but, 19-year-old boys tend to be like that with just about *any* woman.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I hope you're right about the mean girls thing.

But you grew up in an environment where most of the guys probably saw girls primarily as toys/status symbols.

[redeyemindtricks]

@FýrdracaDócincel Well, I basically grew up in the hood, but, are you really gna tell me there's anywhere where that's NOT a thing?

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the hood holds the biggest population of guys who value having "baby mommas" over anything else, no? The only deep experience you've had with civilized men were the older and more mature ones. I doubt you've met nearly enough young men from the NEIGHBORhood to have much of an opinion yourself.

[redeyemindtricks]

@FýrdracaDócincel I went to college at a 4-year state school -- not exactly a place crawling with hood rats, or with older men -- for 2 years.
Then I left the US when I was 21, and lived in 5 other countries, and pretty much the same was true (... even more so) in all of those countries.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Welp... okay then.

[mikemx55]

"men to ASSUME that busty, voluptuous, "hot" women are less intelligent, less competent, and basically almost nothing more than bimbos"

They are though lol

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55
...

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@mikemx55 Buddy, I hope you've sang your black church hymns... you're gonna need them right now.

[mikemx55]

@FýrdracaDócincel? sure thing lol

[mikemx55]

@FýrdracaDócincel see? she knows better than that pal

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 That "..." was the only response you deserved.

Go right ahead tho, keep hatin'.
The real message ("I really wish I could fuck that kind of woman, but they've never given me so much as the time of day") is loud and clear, bud.

[mikemx55]

yeah, why would she bother to reply to such nonsense right? Well, I was wrong, she did answer...

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@mikemx55 www.youtube.com/watch

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well for abusive relationships men are actually more likely to be abused then women, for rape its almost identical numbers of male victims of female on male rape (which was recorded as "forced to penetrate" and was labeled a sexual assualt (this is why the numbers don't always show this, these numbers get excluded from the count). As for sexual harassment, yeah I had a friend who was sexually assaulted by a woman, he walked out of a bar she followed him then literally grabbed and sqeezed his crotch, this would have resulted in a man being beaten at the least if he did it to a woman. As for sexualization, well look at all the male movie stars with six packs, all of the covers of romantic novels with half naked muscle bound men on them and yeah, its strange that women (and some men) would try to argue sexualization only goes one way. Personally I think the reason women are more likely to commit some of these things isn't because women are innatley more likely so much as they simply can get away with it. Society views it as harmless so these women view it as harmless. I think talking about it and pointing out how these things do in fact happen will help to reduce their commmoness.

[Anonymous]

I'm a feminist and I take it 100% seriously when men get raped but let me tell you, I read a story about an underaged boy getting raped/molested by an older women and in the comments their were MEN saying that "he was so lucky' and that they wish that happened to them when they were younger. It made me so upset. MEN are the ones that don't take it seriously. When have you ever heard of a woman saying another woman was "lucky" because she got raped? Never. If men want to be taken seriously then, they should take themselves seriously too

[FýrdracaDócincel]

"When have you ever heard of a woman saying another woman was "lucky" because she got raped?"

You've never heard of a woman telling her friends about her experience and one of them asking "well, was he at least hot?"

[Unit1]

Your point IS valid. The responses or our own gender just proves it.

[ADFSDF1996]

Men take it way more seriously. Have you ever heard of the MRAs?

[martyfellow]

I think women 'get even' by perfecting techniques of emotional abuse.. and sometimes physical as well, though on average they don't have the strength to do that to most men. Ask any cop who works in domestic abuse, and he'll tell you that men DO suffer nearly as much as women, but are much less likely to file a complaint about it. That's why the statistics look like it's heavily women who are the victims.

[SovereignessofVamps]

I think guys just laugh most of this off themselves. They love insulting each other a lot for some reason... I don't know why. Guys have told me it's because their friends are making sure they're tough.

I think more men and women should be tough too. If someone hurts you either hurt them back, or get them out of your life.

[Captmorgan]

Men insult each other as a sign of affection.

[SovereignessofVamps]

@Captmorgan The jks can get pretty bad. Like OP's mytake... guys jk about all of that and worse. And apparently they do it a lot.

[Unit1]

Said guys, who laugh at this off were never abused or they act all "alpa"-male like to prove dominance (yes, I misspelled that on purpose)

[SovereignessofVamps]

@Unit1 I actually talked to gain guy on here would said he was abused but joked with his friends about it because it helped. There was a thread about a girl asking why guys speak like this and lots of guys agreed with him.

[Jamesol1]

Yeah men aren't intimidated by sexual harassment from women.

[beautifulangel76]

I totally agree with you. I think women have it good when it comes to things men have to deal with. People take it very serious when a woman says she has been raped, harassed, and etc but you don't hear much coming from men. I think we should fight for equal rights for us all because there are many things that aren't very unfair for men.

[bedroomdweller]

Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be as obvious to many people as it should. Good take.

[sovetskii13]

This take should be spread onto other sites. Well done. "Chewed her partner's ear off"? Seriously? OMG.

[Jager66]

Absolutely true!

People's predisposition to ignore male suffering plus Feminists actively working to suppress the data has made getting any attention for the serious issues men face very difficult.

[ASEXY]

I only suffer from getting sexual harassment and sexualization. It sucks being a handsome, aromantic, asexual guy.

[iceEverestere]

OMG this is coming from a woman. I mean thankyou a million times. I hope you have a very handsome husband , all success of life and all the happiness.😊😊😊❄️⛄️❄️

[Unit1]

I know right? It's quite a surprise how they think about us.

[CloudyEmily]

thank you so much!! ☺️

[iceEverestere]

@asker You are welcome
@Unit1 yeah lol

[galblue183]

Of course, it goes both ways - it may happen to women more often but that doesn't mean it happens to only women. Good Take :)

[Anonymous]

In some ways I think ours is worse because we are "expected" to "suck it up" just because we're a guy.

[Anonymous]

Now we just need to convince feminists and the idiot feminists in government of this.

[bbbridgett]

I agree with this one hundred percent. It's no more acceptable for a woman to hit a man than it is for a man to hit a woman...

[Mrwoo99]

Women can't rape men because they're not biologically capable of doing so. Men are raped by other men, simple as that.

[CloudyEmily]

I used to think so but I've heard of cases on the news 😕

[SovereignessofVamps]

@CloudyEmily Sexual assault cases or... like how did they rape guys?

[Mrwoo99]

You heard the woman Emily, provide resources or... STFU!

[MysteriumMysteriorum]

Not true, www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ve-days-fed-Viagra.html

[Mrwoo99]

@MysteriumMysteriorum any woman can rape me if she likes 😉

[MysteriumMysteriorum]

You sure, bruh? ANY woman? It's funny how us dudes when we think of women we always think of the hot ones... even though these are a minority. But hey man, if she's hot, she can go ahead and do all that shit; rape, objectification, sexual abuse... whatever the hell else is in the dictionary.

[CloudyEmily]

thoughtcatalog.com/.../

[SovereignessofVamps]

Whoa. Those stories were awful. And a mix too, like only some were rape and the others were more like sexual assault... But awful.

[SovereignessofVamps]

Women can have even dirtier minds than guys though, so I'm not surprised some may take it too far because of their own issues.

[Jager66]

women rape men nearly as often as men rape women, according to the CDC. This article from TIME will explain the issue.
https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/

[MysteriumMysteriorum]

@Jager66 Rape is a sensitive topic. The numbers are heavily skewed. Many rapes don't get reported and actually, males are much more likely than women to not report rape due to societal reasons. Rape is one of those things we can't rely on numbers for... but they can be just enough to provide a rough idea.

[Jager66]

@MysteriumMysteriorum yep very true. There is also a psychological difference between men and women when it comes to reporting. The longer a man waits from the time he was raped, by a woman, the less likely he is to consider himself having been raped, even there was NO question that it was a rape. This is something women don't seem to do. So it's another reason why men would largely under report.

[Unit1]

Excellent job ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)-b

We need more women with common sense like you. Thank you so much!

[CloudyEmily]

thank you!! 😊

[jman46241]

I think men should be strong enough to handle these assertions..

[sweetshyguy]

Finally a girl that understand us! thank you sweety, you are a wonderful woman.