This is one statement that I never got.
I understand that society has some issues in relation to men and how we emote, but it's not like there's a stranglehold. Last I checked, men and women emote in different ways, in different intensities, with different brains. Why is society trying to push this narrative that I have to emote in the same way as everyone else, and why does it get to decide that what I'm doing to cope with my emotions is bad for my health.
The way that I cope with my anger or grief is arguably healthier than those who decided that talking about your problems is the proper course of action. Wanna know how I cope with things that piss me off? I walk away, get distance, and think. I isolate with some music and relax. I go to the gym the next morning and beat the shit out of the punching bag and pump extra hard until I'm too tired to be mad. Normally I get over it and move on but two times in the past I never went back. This is a pretty common reaction to things that hurt, bother or otherwise cause issues with animals. It's called avoidance. It works.
Talking never worked for me. I think about the problem, find a solution, make a plan, and move on.Talking about these problems only leads to the downward spiral into more anger about the event. Talking takes the issue from the back of my mind and forces it to the front. Talking accomplishes nothing for me.
I want to make a counterpoint to this common adage by turning attention to how emotional women are able to get without any repercussions. I'm not saying that all women get emotional, but the ones who go suborbital in their response should be the ones who are called out in society and called emotionally inept or unhealthy in their approach to emotions. The ones who can't keep from crying when inappropriate, or cry for no reason at all other than attention. How about women who go from zero to ludicrous speed at the drop of a hat when they are having their period? I get that you're hurting, but don't take that shit out on other people, and don't get mad when people think that you're crazy afterwards. How often do you hear of men crying for attention? You don't, because all that it gets us is awkward looks and loss of respect.
When will those who have an inability to rein in their emotions, or worse, those who don't pull them back and follow up with excuses be looked at with contempt. When did self control become the enemy, and overindulgence become acceptable? When did waiting patiently for good things get replaced with instant gratification?
The end all be all is that it's wholly inappropriate that self control is the enemy, and has been superseded by lack of discipline. Instead of telling boys and men to emote more, maybe men and boys should be telling them that they need to stop emoting so much. Maybe instead of raising girls to use emotions to get what they want, girls should be told to grow up and stop being childish.
Also, men do cry. Hell I cry when I feel safe, alone and not under the judgement of others. I cry at movies and I cry listening to music in the car. I cry when loved ones die, and when babies are born. I laugh when something is fucking hilarious, or when a buddy hurts himself when he does something dumb. I have emotions and I use them. I just don't like advertising them to the world. Why is that so bad?
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