Fat Assault! Why Being Overweight Doesn't Stop It and Sometimes Makes It Worse

[Justacatlady]

As a female rights advocate, I often wonder how women who have been assaulted go back to life and how they deal with what happened, which got me thinking about all women. Plus sized women are affected by this as well. As I research this, it actually seems that being overweight makes it worse in many cases.

When a woman is assaulted it is usually because the other person feels that this woman has wronged him in some way, or that she has lead him on and he feels the need to retaliate against her. That in some twisted way, she owes this to him. When this type of assault happens to a plus sized woman the violence is increased as the value he sees in this woman is less than what he sees a "normal" sized woman. The thought behind it being that this plus sized woman will be flattered to have a males attention. That she should feel honored that he would even give her the time of day.

Women deal with unwanted attention all the time. Catcalling, unprovoked touching, constant questions about why we won't go out on a date with them, and violence. No matter what the woman looks like there seems to be a person out there that thinks that what she has, who she is, belongs to him.

For a plus sized woman it seems to be doubly bad. She is looked at negatively for being overweight, criticized for what she eats and judged for her size, as well as harassed sexually and expected to be grateful.

For most of these women, a deep psychological issue is developed. To try to be happy and confident in a body that doesn't feel like it belongs to you, would feel so wrong. What a horrible feeling.

For a woman in this situation, who does she tell? If we are honest with ourselves, if a plus sized woman told you a man had catcalled her or touched her inappropriately, would you be concerned or would you think at least she is getting attention?

If you have had this happen, can you share how you handled it?

In this myTake I used males as the protagonist but that is not always the case. A female can be just as mean and as violent towards another woman or a man. Gender doesn't exclude anyone from assault.

To those who have been a victim, I am so sorry you had to go thorough that and I hope that one day this won't be such an issue.

[Blonde401]

I'm a curvy woman. I wouldn't say plus sized but I'm not skinny. I've dealt with one incident like this in my life but it was from someone I know and considered a friend. Men who don't know me, do not fuck with me. Anyone who goes to touch me or anyone else around me without permission, get their ass handed to them. Don't put up with it, change your energy, it does work.

[Halucinator]

Chill lol
You're beautiful❤️😜😬

[Blonde401]

@Halucinator why do I have to chill? Nobody has the right to put their hands on my body without my permission.

[Halucinator]

oh sorry I didn't mean that😅

[Blonde401]

@Halucinator then what did you mean? I don't need to chill at all.

[Halucinator]

Lol I think I got my ass hit today🙏🏻

[Blonde401]

@Halucinator don't tell people to chill then. It's patronising as hell.

[RationalMale]

It's funny. Depending on what website you're on, fat women are either hounded by men trying to get their number, or get dates, or get laid... or fat women are socially shunned and they know what shallow value society places on looks because no men will speak to them.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

This is pretty true. People that deny it just aren't capable in stepping in somebody's else's shoes therefore not as advanced in being human like those that can. (animal like, hence the more sympathy for people who rape, not the victims). That's another story though. People are often so focused on looks these days and don't realize how much it affects them until something bad happens. One day a girl can be overweight and yet a few months later, she's skinnier than most of the people that made fun of her. Meanwhile somebody skinny can often gain weight if they aren't careful and get bigger in the same amount of time. Again, the whole focus on looks is likely linked to the thoughts of sex. Humans that can think with their brains and are more advanced with knowledge can ignore these urges. Where as the people more animal like think more often with body parts aka sex and survival. That's my take on it. Maybe this sort of realization will piss a couple of anti-feminists/anti-SJWs/rape symphathizers off a bit. Animals are can be pretty prone to anger and stupidity.

[Goastwolf]

I've always been bigger than most of the other girls my age and I didn't think much of it as I was growing up until hit my teens and I had full grown men harassing me.

Lingering eyes were uncomfortable, but the worst was when they would honk or follow me trying to get me to talk to them. I grew up to be a pretty meek person so I learned to just ignore it since it's easier than direct confrontation.

When I was 18 I ended up getting hired to work at a gas station by a married man around the same age as my dad. He would hug me in the back office and even kissed my neck then told me he would only do that there since were no cameras in that room. He eventually scheduled me to work with him alone. He would touch me when there was no one around. He would ask me things like "what's my favorite sex position?" He got me some perfume and told me he wanted to buy me lingerie and said that he never wants me to leave the store.

I told my dad about all of this stuff and he said it was fine since he didn't put his hands on me in a sexual manner. I knew the situation was bad but I felt like I was being dramatic since my dad was so indifferent. In the end I quit that job and moved to a different state.

[Justacatlady]

That is horrible and I am sorry it happened to you. Shame on your dad for not stepping in or reporting that creep

[Anonymous]

That sounds bad honestly i wish there weren't these guys who catcall and harass women.
Not saying the west should be like Israel where there's a guilty until proven innocent policy when women make acquisitions against men of assault rape that's much much worse and id probly start looking for jobs overseas if that happened here but the pickup artists that tech guys to make it a numbers game and the scum bags that think it's fun to cat call though i haven't seen this happen often in the UK once some low lifes driving past and more frequently in the evenings when i use to go out with my sports teams in uni and the night clubs seemed to attract all the scumbags plus lots of pepole where drunk.
Iv had quite a few times i've ended up defending a flatmate or friend from mixed sports when i went out in uni either them pretending i was there boyfriend or just tactically geting in the way so the British night life would be a whole lot more pleasant for everyone without some of the sorts of pepole it seems to attract.

[Anonymous]

"When a woman is assaulted it is usually because the other person feels that this woman has wronged him in some way,"

Where do you even get this? You have zero ability to understand the working of a male let alone a mentally fucked up male.

Sexual Assualt happens because a guy wants sex and see the female as an easy target.
A study of actual rapist in prison showed that almost all did it because they were simply wanting sex and had an opportunity.

The next issue with this post is that "Catcalling, unprovoked touching, constant questions about why we won't go out on a date with them, and violence." is bullshit. Men being forward is the only way our society has progressed but bitter ugly women have turned "Hi miss" into harassment.

When it comes to fat girls being told "at least you got attention".. imagine being a male who is raped by a female. where 100% of the time you are told: "well at least you got some". Females are at least taken seriously when it comes to rape.

I enjoyed the ending where you try and pretend your point at males was not in anyways misandric. Being that you are "a female rights advocate" AKA a feminist who is afraid to use the word because it denotes "hate-group". Making men the villain is part of the MO.

[helterskeltermac]

This ^^^👍👍👍

[Chief16]

Potray males as the 'protagonist'. Lol. More like antagonists. This is what feminist media is like. Women are applauded for beating and humiliating men. But its an unspeakable brutality today for a man to hit a woman, even in self defense.
www.fighting4fair.com/.../why_do_women.jpg
Men 'can' be victims too? Nonsense. Men are victims, as much as women.

[Justacatlady]

Apparently you didn't read all the way to the end. I chose men because they are the largest group who attack. Even men against men. Woman can and are the aggressors as well but not in the capacity that men are.

[Chief16]

Just use the word 'aggressor', its gender neutral.

[Justacatlady]

You are correct. I could have done that and will keep that in mind for future posts

[Chief16]

Thank you.

[Vmm90]

Very interesting read, it isn't something that is pleasant to go through and I would wish for anyone, male or female to go through it. I myself have been sexually assaulted and it took a toll on me mentally and I have been in counselling to deal with it.

[Phoenix98]

Your bitching about cat calling? seriously with everything going on in the world that's what you choose?

As for fat women, as an actual health and fitness professional I can tell you those women are no better off being overweight that life style is slowly killing them. Not to mention the health issues they have or will get later on.

That life style shortens their live and will kill them.

I don't support making fun of women or anyone who is fat but I do have to say that sometimes you need to be straight, strict and hard with them. In order to force them to see just how big of a issue and danger what they are doing is for them.

[404filenotfound]

Trying to portray women as the victims of some sort of "violence epidemic" is disingenuous and wrong.

Yes, people get assaulted and it sucks, but it's their responsibility to maintain their phsycological and emotional wellbeing. No one's a victim unless they decide to be a victim.

[Justacatlady]

So the men and women that are raped decided to get raped? The people that are shot dead walking down a street decided to get shot? The people who have depression decided to be depressed?

[404filenotfound]

No, they didn't "decide" to get raped; I'm talking about a victim's mentality and I think that was kind of obvious from the context.

People don't decide to get raped or shot, but the chances of that happening are astronomically low. I'm mainly referring to the western world where, unless they're in active deployment, it's not even really relevant in regards to the every day person.

As far as depression goes, people don't choose to be depressed but they can choose what to do about it. They can choose to not let it run their lives and they can choose to not use it as a crutch to avoid personal growth.

I've been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, Generalized Anxiety, Avoidant Personality Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder primarily inattentive. I choose to not be a "victim" and I choose to take responsibility for my life and my actions. I'm not sure what message could be more empowering but you're free to feel how you choose to feel.

[Prof_Don]

Bro u need to get out more, your mind is way too closed about how the real world works.

Who the fuck "chooses" to be a victim of rape or sexual assault?

[404filenotfound]

@Prof_Don I don't think that I'm the one that's being closed minded here. I never said that women choose to be victims of rape or sexual assault and I already clarified this to someone else that had the exact same knee jerk reaction as you did.

While we don't always get to decide the hand that we're given in life, we do get to decide what to do with hand. No one decides whether they want to raped or assaulted, but they do decide whether they're going to remain "victims" after that or whether they're going to accept it, move on and take back control of their own life.

Personal responsibility is empowering, it's not a four letter word.

[pretty-kitty]

I can understand what you're coming from but you're wrong.
I have been molested as a child by multiple men, one of them being my father. My drink was spiked and I raped at 19 and had various incidents of sexual harassment throughout my life.

I don't play the victim, most people don't even know what I'vej been through but due to what's happen I suffer on a daily basis. I am severely depressed, I have an eating disorder and it's very difficult for me to do day to day things.

Do you think I choose this life I have now? I do not, I would rather be a normal, mentally healthy person with a normal life but I am not. I am working to get there, I am dealing with my issues with professional help but it's not like I can wake up one morning and just decide that what's happen to me won't effect me. It doesn't work that way mate, if it did then half the people who are in the same boat as me wouldn't be there, I wouldn't be in this position.

You certainly are close minded.

[404filenotfound]

@pretty-kitty The present is the product of our past choices. I've had my fair share of trauma as well and, if you knew me, you'd know that I spent my entire childhood in therapy. It's easy to look at someone and tell ourselves that they don't know what they're talking about but, frankly, you don't know what I've been through, you don't know what I've endured and you don't know the hells that I've faced in my life.

And I'm still standing by what I've said; it's a choice to let the shadows of the past cast themselves over the present. I never once said that it was an easy choice to make, nor did I say it was as simple as waking up and deciding to be better, but it's still a choice. And making that choice starts with the intent that you're not a victim and that you're not going to let something else rule your life.

You're the one that has to decide to get better, to grow and to change. You can use the past as a crutch or you can do something about it.

[pretty-kitty]

I never claimed to know anything about you other than you don't understand, which you clearly do not.

You said you spent your entire childhood in therapy but guess what? Some of us weren't so lucky.

[pretty-kitty]

So yes, we are the ones who decide to get better but first of all you have to realise something is wrong and second of all most of us need help to deal with our past. Lucky for you, you got the help you needed as a child, I wish I did too so then I could be better by now because I don't want to live like this.

[404filenotfound]

@pretty-kitty I didn't get any help as a child, trust me, I was forced to go to therapy after the psych ward because, otherwise, I wasn't allowed back in school. I never made any progress until well into adulthood, trust me.

The point that I'm trying to make here is that it wasn't therapy that helped me, it was me. And I'm saying this because I have conviction, and because it has worked for me and helped me out immensely. I do understand, I promise you.

You're arguing the exact same point as I am; self awareness is the first step. After that comes acceptance and I know that for some people it's the hardest thing in the world. But self love can't truly exist without it. The whole point of therapy in the first place isn't to make someone better, it's to give them the tools to help themselves. And therapy won't work if they don't put in the work themselves.

And I'm saying that it can be done, you can take responsibility for your wellbeing and empower yourself.

Believe in yourself.

[404filenotfound]

This is the same problem that I have with feminism; it oppresses women and keeps them in a victim's mentality. You are correct that most people can't help themselves, and that's why so many people end up on medications that only alleviate symptoms and don't fix the underlying issue.
But it's not that people are incapable, it's that they're told that they can't do it alone. So, mental illness ends up becoming a crutch to a lot of people because they're not willing to look inside and face those demons. And I get it, it's the hardest thing in the world to do.

But it is possible and I'll maintain that personal responsibility is the most liberating thing in the world for the rest of my life. Because the only thing in this universe that we have the capacity to control is ourselves, so why give that power away?

[pretty-kitty]

I stop reading at "I do understand" because it's clear that you don't. For one, you have no compassion for others so maybe you're not as well as you seem to think or want to portray.

[404filenotfound]

@pretty-kitty I'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that I don't have compassion for others, especially when I'm the one trying to spread a positive message and help people realize that they're not as powerless as they think they are.

But to each their own, you walk your own path and I wish you luck.

[pretty-kitty]

Some people need help, it's not as easy as you make it out to be. You're basically blaming people if they're not perfectly fine when they've been through trauma. So you do not have compassion.

[404filenotfound]

@pretty-kitty No, I never blamed anyone for not being perfectly fine when they went through trauma. I'm not casting blame on anyone.

Another thing that I never said is that getting help is bad. I said that people are in control whether they realize it or not, and that being aware of that control can, once again, empower them.

Which is actually a goal of therapy when medication isn't utilized. To give them the tools and help them empower themselves which is something that they have to do.

Bottom line, you can't help people that don't want to be helped, there is power in knowing that we make choices.

[pretty-kitty]

Exactly, people need help to get better. Therapy gives them the tools to get better. You shouldn't shame people because they are victims which is exactly what you were doing

[404filenotfound]

@pretty-kitty I'm not shaming people because they were victims:

The first paragraph of my initial post wasn't referring to women that have been victimized, it was referring to the fear that society instills in women. A lot of women live in fear about being sexually assaulted and have a victim's mentality even though nothing ever happened to them.

The second paragraph was referring to the aftermath of people that have been victimized. I'm not blaming them for what happened to them and I'm not shaming them either. I'm saying that they are ultimately responsibly for their emotional and psychological wellbeing. Which means, that they decide whether to help themselves or not. Their future is ultimately in their own hands. No one is going to fix them and no one can just make them better.

Neither the world, nor anyone in it owes us anything, so, personal responsibility is power.

[Anonymous]

This is true. I've had this happen to me where I rejected a guy because I didn't enjoy his company and he basically said I should be flattered he was even interested because I am fat. Well you know what? That is just plain rude.

There's definitely that form of abuse and shaming in society towards fat people.

[Anonymous]

It's terrible. I've been chubby most of my life. For most of my teen years one of my biggest fears going out in public was to pass next by a group of guys. Especially around my age. They were always laughing at me. I remember in mid school we had this school party and I got myself some nice clothes, hair and make up. During the party I went with my friends outside to have some fresh air and we passes some boys. When they saw me they of course laughed loudly, made some mean comments. Felt pretty bad when I got home. Most of my school years was like that.
Now when I'm older I just put earphones and look directly on the sidewalk. Also I don't eat in public, only at home ( well that also cause I have many allergies but when I eat outside I have this feeling that everyone who see me think "she is fat, she should not eat" ). But I rarely hear any mean comments in public. I think people now care less, or maybe because I'm older. I don't know.

[Justacatlady]

I'm sorry you experienced that. It might help to talk with someone about the phobia to eat in public.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. I agree totally with what you wrote here. The thing we should be thankfull for having any attention is very true. I came to believe it, and it's hard to think otherwise.

[MarkRet]

That's sad. I kind of had the opposite problem. I was skinny, and people would laugh at me over that, even suggesting that I was a weak 'girl', or something. I had read that story about Ann and Nancy Wilson from Heart, and Ann, who always had a weight problem, would get dressed up and went to some formal dances as a teenager. She'd end up just sitting there, and NONE of the guys would approach her and ask for a dance. She'd often go home, and just cry.

[Opinion Owner]

@MarkRet Sounds like my prom. Heh. And sorry to hear that, I've noticed that very skinny boys at school can have it hard.

[Blitzkrieger]

You mean antagonist. Protagonist is a good guy.

there's more male to male violence than male to female violence. To me this mytake falls on deaf ears for that reason.

[Justacatlady]

Thanks for the correction and I agree. I have only done one other Mytake and did my best with this but didn't quite accomplish my intended goal

[Warmapplecrumble]

I am chubby and I have been assaulted many times... men always look at me in weird ways and catcall.

I remember wearing a dress and some cleavage must have been showing... I can't help this. It was a very hot day.
And a guy came up to me saying... do I like the attention, can he see my breasts. ._.

[Regular1]

Looking at you isn't assault, sugar-tits.

[Halucinator]

@Regular1 shut up!

[Regular1]

@Halucinator Mind your own business, child

[Halucinator]

@Regular1 you don't have a right to pass pervy comments on a girl

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Halucinator thanks for helping me

[Halucinator]

It's fine apple😊

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Halucinator :-)

[capturemyheartnow]

Being overweight is not a bad thing is the short term , but if this overweight phenomenon persists over a long period of time it is not healthy. being healthy needs to have a beautiful weight which is normal weight. So don't be overweight or underweight if you love yourself.

[Justacatlady]

I agree. It is sad though that while a person is dealing with their health they would be treated so negatively

[capturemyheartnow]

That's why I mentioned the words short term and long term. Everyone needs time to solve their problems. And they don't solve those problems for us. They need to solve it because it benefits them. We are just strangers. They should not give us much importance. Love yourself first , do acts of love upon yourself , that will make others love you.

[Blake0048]

I really don't think that is whst is going through a rapists mind but more of just something your mind constructed. Having studied psychology I can tell you the nain motivation for rape is a sense of power the rapists gains. Im sure there are soom who fantasize of her liking it and are motived by that but by and large I don't think any aspect of a woman's appearance affects how the rapist views her or how willing he is to assualt her.

[Justacatlady]

I agree that a rapist may see it that way, but there are plenty of assaults that have nothing to do with rape.

[Blake0048]

I figured thats what you meant. "Sexual assualt"

[Justacatlady]

Assault in general.

[Anonymous]

To be honest a lot of women face harsh circumstances in the world but men's issues are currently being ignored.

[OhMyLeniency]

I get your point but men are men you guys are capable of more physically. If a woman hits you, you can just walk away its like a mouse beating a cat. Not saying its okay but I mean seriously?

[Opinion Owner]

@OhMyLeniency I know a guy who lost his eye when his ex fiancee punched him wearing the engagement ring he bought her.
Guys are capable of more physically but even most abusive men hold back. Many women can hit as hard as a man and are more likely to hit because use they know they will never face punishment.

[Justacatlady]

@OhMyLeniency To say: but men are men you guys are capable of more physically demeans everything you say after. You can't say that it isn't right on one hand but then express how a man should handle it if he were to be in that situation. No matter the person, assault against another person is wrong.

[Silver158]

All I'm saying is. If a guy hits his girlfriend regardless if she came at him with a weapon or not. He'll be open to scrutiny as a "Wife beater/guy who hits girls" It's not as easy as just saying "men are more physically capable" It's more usually more complex.

Also if a girl comes at me with a bat or pair of high heels or whatever. She's getting put down. Big enough to pull that shit then she's big enough to take it. #equality

[Opinion Owner]

@Silver158 I agree. A common tactic these days when a girl wants some drama or to influence divorce proceedings is to call the police claiming her guy is threatening her or has hit her and then go and start some shit with him that way the police arrive during the fight and take him away even though she started it and he may not even have lifted a finger against her which looks good in court and she gets sympathy from friends and family.

[Silver158]

Not even just that. you hear about women beating their boyfriends all the time. Sure there was an article in a newspaper a while back where the guy's girl did MMA and bodybuilding and would use her MMA moves on him regularly. Even put him through a glass coffee table. The guy was scared to break it off with her because she threatened worse if he did.

[Opinion Owner]

@Silver158 i read about that too.

[Silver158]

Would've told her where to go after the first instance. And if she threatened to do worse, told her to fucking bring it! lol

[Frosteh]

@OhMyLeniency it's a fair point, but there's other things to consider.

Statistically women are more likely to wield weapons like knives and other weapons in domestic disputes, of which about half and half the women instigates.

Men tend to suffer proxy violence, so if a woman is distressed it creates men around her to rally to her aid, especially if they're friends or family. So men who are in altercations with women, even if they did not start that altercation, are at risk of serious violence from other men.

That includes the state, when the police arrive it's quite often the man that is arrested even if she instigated a fight, simply defending yourself is enough to get you arrested, which is obvious very wrong.

Men and women don't have the same ability to defend themselves which is absolutely true, but we also don't face the same consequences either.

[Anonymous]

I'm obslese (I admit it) and it is more common than people think. I've had a guy I thought was a friend from uni pin me against a garage trying to force me to kiss him. And an ex pull down my trousers in a bus stop, hard enough to leave bruises as he wanted sex and I was too in shock to think he was like that. So it does affect everyone.

[mogulkahn]

I like it, interesting to read! Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Is America the rape capital of the world? I live in a "so called" third world country and assault is no where at the level that I see in the US. (mainly online) .
Before you say women stay silent , well. I live in a very small country where everyone knows everything about each other.

[samsmoove]

No... American women just like being victims and consider everything rape

[Justacatlady]

@samsmoove Not true and attitudes like that don't help.
We live in a country that allows rape culture. Look into it before you automatically say negative things about women being victims. All this happens to men as well.

[samsmoove]

No wr do not allow rape culture in america at all... there are countless females who have lied and gotten men in prison.

people believe women no matter how retarded the story is. I rememver there was one girl who lied about getting raped by two guys to get a boyfriend. Bith guys got expelled from the school and lost their full ride football scholarships. The girl got no punishment... rape culture right?

[samsmoove]

And American women do likr bring victims lol

[Anonymous]

Just be your large self and don't give a damn who likes it. They can dislike it all they want, but they aren't going to DO anything about it. They'll live.

[Z-Spark]

what if you live as a man for a day? flirting with most women is seen as a crime punished by the law, and if a man is pissed he has the right pull a knife on you or hit you with anything he wants for one simple reason : you are a man and you get to attack men.

what your describing is literally non-existent it doesn't even happen at all in real life this is just something you had a dream about last night, men get beaten for the sole purpose of being men and someone else is mad at something.

[DonkeyRick69]

I agree.