I actually think I can offer a unique perspective on this. I'm trans, and I didn't transition until I was 17. So I lived the majority of my life as a woman. I developed early. When I was 13 people thought I was 16. I remember being harassed walking home. Men asking if I swallowed, being "accidentally" groped on the bus, having men in their forties check me out and stare at me. This happened more times than I can count. When I was 17 I lost a bunch of weight, cut my hair short, and I passed really well as a guy. I was almost never misgendered, and when people found out I was female, they were shocked. Since I transitioned, I can recal 1, maybe two instances where I felt in danger sexually or objectified sexually.
I was going to share a lot more but it had to be with profile. Not that it really matters much. You can get away with quite a bit and the sexual harassment category before you actually treated criminally this isn't something that I've that is a habit I had some incidents. I almost wished it the person that I hurt like I said it would be called the victim, what press charges. Don't know why. I just feel bad. It's like I wish someone would call her and at least she should know some things about my habits and failures before the statute of limitations runs out. I don't know why I'm saying this I don't want to baby punished for that.
I think men receive it more than they realize. When it happens.. they don't really take it in a bad/suggestive way. I mean for one I've had girls smack my ass. I'm not a muscular guy but i'd bet any jacked dude will tell you girls randomly touch his arm/chest... i know a friend spoke of this when he was quite into the gym. Men are more of a threat and generally a bit more... creepy about it I guess? At least those middle aged bosses must be. There are reasons as to why it would bother a girl more. But I do think there are a lot of girls who are somewhat hypocrites when it comes to this stuff.
It happen it few time with this one guy “it was accident “ three time isn’t a accident. I was At the gym when a guy grabbed me on the thigh I ended kicking him. Cause how we look to them “ were the free market”.
As I cannot personally say I have fell victim to this kind of stuff I know full well the hurt and pain is causes as my mother has been sexually harassed MANY times for as long as I can remember and I always make it clear I won't take shit from anyone as to give respect to my mother and not fall victim to what she did and still does suffer (although not much anymore thankfully)
"If you talk to ANY woman or girl you know she'll have at least a couple (to say the least) stories about sexual harassment that happened to her."
This is true of every single man I have ever talked to about this topic as well. I my self have been sexually harassed many times by women, can't even count how many.
So stop being ignorant, this IS NOT! a gender issue so don't try and make it one.
some guys can be creeps but most of the time it takes to say just a few nos and they will stop bothering you, not that much of a deal. And guys can experience it too you know, don't make it look like we are poor women who are the only ones who suffer
@RachelleDraws Well then you must still be a virgin... because touching, initiated by a man, is the first step on a ladder of escalations that needs to be done by a man to have sex with you.
Do you think that a man has any clue whether you want it? Nope.
A man just does. That is called being assertive and confident and masculine. Either you find him attractive, then he is "getting it", or he is unattractive, then he is a "perv".
I agree with this to a certain extent. If it is in a socially inappropriate manner, then touch can be unwarranted and assault. For example, groping a strange woman on a subway train or at work, that would be assault.
However, touching a woman lightly on the arm at the bar while you are having a friendly convo? Asking for a high five to break the touch barrier? Hugging a woman goodbye? Those aren't assault, those are socially acceptable.
There are ways to touch a woman that is warm, sensual, even sexual without stepping all over her boundaries. You can gently push boundaries at the right moments without being an inconsiderate asshole.
@RachelleDraws Well you aren't into men, I wasn't necessarily directing my comment towards you specifically. The same could go for a woman who is hitting on you. If she just came up and grabbed your ass on the train, it would be the same exact idea.
@RachelleDraws But lets saw a woman is chatting you up and you are into her. Then she lightly touches your arm. Or say she gives you a light punch on the shoulder.
My point is, there are socially appropriate ways and times to touch others and Dio is acting like men can never even touch a woman without it being harassment. That isn't true.
@RachelleDraws You are welcome, but you don't need my understanding. You have all the love and understanding you need within you. You are love itself. You are awesome!
I was at a party recently and walked home at 3 am. I lived close to the bar so I figured I'd be fine. This guy approached me out of nowhere and started following me. He started asking me all these personal questions like what my name is, where I study, where I'm going etc. He wasn't ugly. But the fact that he couldn't see why I *didn't* want to be approached by a strange man in the middle of the night while walking alone made him insanely creepy and gross to me. He asked me if I could hug him and would not let me go when I tried telling him that I could walk home by myself from a certain point. i never asked him to follow me but he felt like he had done me this huge gentlemanly favor and that he was entitled to my contact information. He kept harassing me until I put my foot down and told him goodbye and good night. Like I said he was not ugly but he was a fucking creep who should've left me alone. I didn't invite him to follow me or talk to me.
The bottom line is, you aren't a victim. You aren't a victim of your past and you aren't a victim now. You know that not all men are like this. It takes consciousness to act in the moment, so stay conscious.
However, he was not conscious. It wasn't your responsibility to bring him out of consciousness. One day, he may learn to be conscious, but he may not.
Remember, it is no use in living in the collective pain-body of the female experience. It does nothing to dwell on the pain, the emotion, or to identify with your thoughts. Just be very present and be very aware.
Men should do the same. If men would do that, then they would not get caught up in their own egos as this creepy man did.
@freakyzeaky except that I am a victim per definition and no matter what "mindset" I have, this is something that has affected me and will keep affecting me for as long as men are going out of their way to harass and potentially assault me, making me feel unsafe. Does that mean I let it hold me back? No, if anything it just encourages me to scream even louder. Maybe next time I'll drop kick him to the fucking ground, who knows. I'm sorry but I don't really get the point of your poetic rant.
wow you had pretty good self victimization techniques. where did you learn this?
"If you're a feminist (in the true, egalitarian, sense of the word)" feminism isn´t "egalitarian" fucking hell. when will people stop claiming this. that´s like saying i´m a vegan that eats meat.
@lumos since you can´t just say whatever you want and claim it´s feminism. that´s not how it works. feminism is the "female righs movement" it doesn´t change anything if you slap some pretentious words next to it.
all i see that doing is actively dismissing everybody who comes forth with other issues and call them a male white supremacist, which is nothing more than pure misandry.
i know recently women try to promote feminism to all inds of shit but it just isn´t what you want it to be. deal with it. if you want an egalitarian movement, make an egalitarian movement. but don´t call your whatever movement "feminism" just cause you´re a girl and then go forth and claim it´s for everybody. that´s just bullshit.
i have not the slightest problem with feminists who fight for female rights and female issues. that´s fine. buti think people with other intentions than that should stop missusing the name of that movement for their purposes.
@lumos oh and by the way. google doesn´t bring up ANY validated use of the term. just cause goodle shows results for a thing, doesn´t mean it´s a legitimate and validated thing.
Just like with any other ideology, intersectional feminism is just one branch out of many that strives to dig deeper and see how people are affected by oppression in many different ways (socioeconomic status, race, sexuality etc). What do you think makes a branch like this more or less ”valid”? The term was coined by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, a professor at the UCLA School of Law and Columbia law school. This is not a thing that just appeared out of thin air that people are claiming is a thing. It’s an actual established theory within the feminist narrative. Dunno really what else to tell you 🤷🏻♀️
@lumos you see i could just come up with some bullshit-feminism and there wouldn´t be any way you could tell me that it indeed is bullshit, cause nobody has the definitive power over the term feminism, as it is not institutionalized in any way so everybodies bet is as good as the next one.
i mean i do understand the meaning of what you just explained to me. of course there are many different ways in which individuals are opressed and we indeed should try our best to eleminate those opressing mechanics from our society.
however being a feminist does not entail the fight for equity. it is "the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." and don´t get distracted by the words "equality of sexes" in that definition. it just meas that they strive to make women equal. not men. men are not represented by feminism.
i understand that lots of feminists are just normal and benevolent human beings. still feminism isn´t and will never be the movement for equity.
you can be a feminist. and you can fight for equity and fight intersectionality. but those can not be the same movement. cause the focus of each things is different.
i mean what would you say if i told you there's "intersectional mgtow" ? you would laugh in my face and call me a moron, yet that´s what feminists do.
I agree, but this is relative to specific societal contexts. It may be more of a problem in one country, city, or region due to local cultural and socioeconomic factors.
An extreme example would be the rape epidemic in the regions in the Democratic Republic of Congo where a civil war is raging on. So, relatively speaking, you're right, it's not really that bad, but it still is bad.
So I'm not allowed to come up and talk to you at a supermarket?
But... in the same breath, women and society say it's the mans job to take initiative and act first. Hmm... It conflicts. To me a supermarket would be an ideal place to talk. People around, safe etc.
Priorities, looks and checklists are all modern day women think of I guess.
Did you read any of her encounters? None of them were simply people talking to her, they are all very clearly instances of sexual harassment. She never says that there is anything wrong with someone talking to her at a supermarket. What is wrong is when she told that guy that he was being inappropriate but instead of stopping the dude just grabbed onto her cart and wouldn't let her leave. It boggles my mind that this doesn't register to you as creepy.
You can talk to them, but if she says she doesn't want to talk you should just accept that and leave. The man from the supermarket doesn't respect what she wants and so keeps continuing.
@ThatonehO The woman who wrote the article is typically hypersensitive to any ailment befalling her with a sociopathic disregard and lack of concern for anything that might happen to other people. She doesn't even consider for a second that far worse things happen to men all the time judging by the title of her article. She's just proud of her minor struggles. Such people always expect to be sympathized with but have to sympathy so it is better not to give them attention.
@Jayson101 perhaps you should re-read the article too then. There is nothing wrong with sharing personal struggles, in fact it's often applauded when people share their experiences in an effort to raise awareness for an issue. The writer even explicitly explained why she didn't talk about the rape and sexual assault of men (because she's sharing a personal experience as a woman) she even recommended that male victims raise awareness/share their experiences themselves and that she would be open to that. Thus, she was being both considerate and being sympathetic to similar struggles experienced by men. While I don't agree with absolutely everyting the writer says, her personal experience- and the way in which she wrote it, is neither "hypersensitive" or a "sociopathic disregard or lack of concern" for others.
@ThatonehO Okay, since you asked. A good time to self reflect on your struggles and trials is at your age. When you are just a little older and have more life experience I suspect you will discover (as most people do) that the people who talk excessively about their personal struggles and accuse virtually everyone they meet of mistreating them (as in this article) are almost always the abusers themselves and are not looking for solutions but victims and targets. It's a shock revelation but most people discover it eventually and it's almost a right of passage. When I was 22 I had a friend who helped me recognize my own boundaries because I had given so much of my life to a person who believed me to be an extension of him. Everything anyone did by their own free will was criticized and reprimanded as selfish by this person. I began to disentangle from the control mechanisms placed on me and realize how certain personality types operate in this world and I became freer because of it.
@ThatonehO That same year a woman I had never met before called me up anonymously to tell me not to text girls. She also accused me of stalking her. I got her fired from her job by threatening the company with a lawsuit directly based on her actions. Apparently she did it to a lot of people.
So the moral of the story is that people who feel perpetually victimized, will feel victimized no matter how good their circumstances are and are actually abusing others. Hypersensitive people are nasty bitches who just want to stir drama and create completely fabricated situations.
If you felt like she thinks all men are evil just for talking about her experiences then maybe you should do some self-reflecting and wonder why you're projecting a mindset like that onto her. If this shit doesn't apply to you and you haven't sexually harassed someone there's no reason for you to feel so offended.
@Nate1941 Yes I am aware but the insinuation is that it happens to "most" women when in actuality it happens equally to men and women but men are usually ignored or don't see it as harassment so it gets seen as mostly a women issue.
for example "Hi miss" is NOT harassment, but most feminist idiots believe it is.
I do agree with this. This is as much a men and boys issue as it is a women's. It is too bad that society laughs when this happens to men. However, the reason that she geared this article towards women is because she herself is a women. She encouraged men who have had similar experiences to write a mytake, if they feel comfortable doing that.
Lastly, no, "hi miss" is certainly not harassment. However, the stories she shares in this article are.
They forgot to add that if you wake up the next morning and regret drinking the tea or the tea wasn't as good as you had expected, don't act like someone forced you to drink the tea or that it was poured down your throat without your permission.
Less than 1 in 1000 women are sexually assaulted, (taking into account the number estimated not to come forward, but not taking into account those that are falsely reported, which would actually make it LESS than 1 in 1000) and since male victims are not even considered a statistic... it wouldn't be that hard to believe that the same number of males would be the victims of women.
@LogicBomber That statistic refers to sexual assault as it pertains to a serious violent crime. Meaning if it was not forcible, it is not counted. Catcalling or unwanted touching or other forms of harassment are not counted. If you seriously think that only 1 in 1000 women have been the victim of sexual harassment you are part of the problem.
Hahaha, cat calling is NOT sexual assault. It's rude and ignorant but it is definitely NOT sexual assault. And in regards to unwanted touching... it actually is part of that stat. Unless you mean something stupid like brushing against someone on a subway which can't be proven as on purpose. Either way, If you think that women are actually as victimized as feminist pretend they are, and men somehow aren't... YOU are actually part of the problem, bud.
I have also been sexually assaulted by a female. I agree with you on the "one-sided" point. But I don't on the catcalling is harassment. It's ignorant but it isn't harassment.
Someone who works with someone constantly making inappropriate remarks is harassment, but an ignorant asshole stranger yelling out some idiotic thing across the street is not.
That's because feminists are obnoxious and horrible and write academic treatises claiming 'sandwich jokes' are violent and males being raped (including little boys) is NOT violent, simply because it doesn't affect women
No. She considers consensual sex to be rape and not 'just sex'. And yes that is a problem to me. Furthermore, the fact that she claims a moral high ground for regarding something as innocuous as a sandwich joke to be violent shows a very poor upbringing and a sociopathic lack of integrity or honesty.
And this is why men NO LONGER ask women OUT. Everything is harassment or sexual harassment. You must hate men. You're a hypocrite, when men call out women it's misogyny but when you do it ok.
If you don't understand the difference between approaching someone politely and backing someone into a corner while expressing threatening body language, saying gross comments and showing a persistence that can only be seen as manipulative, then I'm glad you're not approaching women anymore.
Big deal you had your ass grabbed and someone call you hot.
I've gotten my ass grabbed on public transit too by a woman. Yes it was shocking but not something to dwell or linger on. Infact i felt more flattered.
That's not her only experience, she was also creeped on by a pedophile when she was just a little kid. She had her ass grabbed, without her consent. Lastly, she had someone hold onto her cart preventing her from leaving the store while he simultaneously made her feel uncomfortable. All of these things are sexual harassment. Don't say that just because you would enjoy it if/when these things happened to you that she should also enjoy her sexual harassment.
Agreed! That is sexual harassment. A strange women who did not know you touched you inappropriately without your consent. However, just because you enjoyed it (I am guessing only because she was attractive?) doesn't mean that everyone else should also enjoy sexual harassment, which is what you imply in your original opinion.
#MeToo i was just raped 5 days ago by a friend who i knew over 7 years... This world can be so horrible and cruel and there's so fucked up people out there. Now i've lost my trust pretty much for everyone who is a male and a friend of mine. Not gonna leave myself in their company if there's nobody else i know i can trust since you can't even trust your own friends anymore either... and this is not the only sexual harassment i've experienced, there's too many of them...
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
46Opinion
The guys on here "but it happens to men too!" Yeah at the beginning of her take she said it happens to guys too, but that this would focus on women
I actually think I can offer a unique perspective on this. I'm trans, and I didn't transition until I was 17. So I lived the majority of my life as a woman.
I developed early. When I was 13 people thought I was 16. I remember being harassed walking home. Men asking if I swallowed, being "accidentally" groped on the bus, having men in their forties check me out and stare at me. This happened more times than I can count.
When I was 17 I lost a bunch of weight, cut my hair short, and I passed really well as a guy. I was almost never misgendered, and when people found out I was female, they were shocked. Since I transitioned, I can recal 1, maybe two instances where I felt in danger sexually or objectified sexually.
"i'm trans."
It all makes sense now.
@HeAintMe
Fuck off
Ummm... No.
@BaileyisDarcy thank you
I was going to share a lot more but it had to be with profile. Not that it really matters much. You can get away with quite a bit and the sexual harassment category before you actually treated criminally this isn't something that I've that is a habit I had some incidents. I almost wished it the person that I hurt like I said it would be called the victim, what press charges. Don't know why. I just feel bad. It's like I wish someone would call her and at least she should know some things about my habits and failures before the statute of limitations runs out. I don't know why I'm saying this I don't want to baby punished for that.
I think men receive it more than they realize. When it happens.. they don't really take it in a bad/suggestive way. I mean for one I've had girls smack my ass. I'm not a muscular guy but i'd bet any jacked dude will tell you girls randomly touch his arm/chest... i know a friend spoke of this when he was quite into the gym.
Men are more of a threat and generally a bit more... creepy about it I guess? At least those middle aged bosses must be. There are reasons as to why it would bother a girl more. But I do think there are a lot of girls who are somewhat hypocrites when it comes to this stuff.
It happen it few time with this one guy “it was accident “ three time isn’t a accident. I was At the gym when a guy grabbed me on the thigh I ended kicking him. Cause how we look to them “ were the free market”.
As I cannot personally say I have fell victim to this kind of stuff I know full well the hurt and pain is causes as my mother has been sexually harassed MANY times for as long as I can remember and I always make it clear I won't take shit from anyone as to give respect to my mother and not fall victim to what she did and still does suffer (although not much anymore thankfully)
"If you talk to ANY woman or girl you know she'll have at least a couple (to say the least) stories about sexual harassment that happened to her."
This is true of every single man I have ever talked to about this topic as well. I my self have been sexually harassed many times by women, can't even count how many.
So stop being ignorant, this IS NOT! a gender issue so don't try and make it one.
She's not. Did no one read her first paragraph? She addresses that this can happen to men too.
@Nate1941 reading comprehension skills: 0.
LOL, that is a very astute observation about the article Jager66.
The whole thing is one giant man hating Feminist narrative about sexual harassment, putting a tiny bullshit disclaimer doesn't change a thing.
Reading comprehension of you two crtics: 0/10
some guys can be creeps but most of the time it takes to say just a few nos and they will stop bothering you, not that much of a deal. And guys can experience it too you know, don't make it look like we are poor women who are the only ones who suffer
It is only harrassment when he is ugly. Sad truth.
Women WANT exactly this behaviour. But please only from attractive men.
Fucking hyprcrites.
I don't care how attractive some guy supposedly is. If he tries to touch me I would hit him.
@RachelleDraws
Well then you must still be a virgin... because touching, initiated by a man, is the first step on a ladder of escalations that needs to be done by a man to have sex with you.
Do you think that a man has any clue whether you want it?
Nope.
A man just does. That is called being assertive and confident and masculine. Either you find him attractive, then he is "getting it", or he is unattractive, then he is a "perv".
I agree with this to a certain extent. If it is in a socially inappropriate manner, then touch can be unwarranted and assault. For example, groping a strange woman on a subway train or at work, that would be assault.
However, touching a woman lightly on the arm at the bar while you are having a friendly convo? Asking for a high five to break the touch barrier? Hugging a woman goodbye? Those aren't assault, those are socially acceptable.
There are ways to touch a woman that is warm, sensual, even sexual without stepping all over her boundaries. You can gently push boundaries at the right moments without being an inconsiderate asshole.
I don't want to have sex with a man. And it's perverted regardless of how he looks.
@RachelleDraws Well you aren't into men, I wasn't necessarily directing my comment towards you specifically. The same could go for a woman who is hitting on you. If she just came up and grabbed your ass on the train, it would be the same exact idea.
(Ignore my message, I didn't see Dio's message before mine)
@freakyzeaky I would be upset regardless of gender. I don't want someone that I'm not in a relationship doing something like that to me.
@RachelleDraws But lets saw a woman is chatting you up and you are into her. Then she lightly touches your arm. Or say she gives you a light punch on the shoulder.
My point is, there are socially appropriate ways and times to touch others and Dio is acting like men can never even touch a woman without it being harassment. That isn't true.
That isn't harassment, regardless of gender. And I wouldn't be into the kind of girl that flirts with me. I like cute, quiet and shy girls.
@RachelleDraws That is fine. To each his or her own.
@freakyzeaky Thanks for understanding.
@RachelleDraws You are welcome, but you don't need my understanding. You have all the love and understanding you need within you. You are love itself. You are awesome!
I was at a party recently and walked home at 3 am. I lived close to the bar so I figured I'd be fine. This guy approached me out of nowhere and started following me. He started asking me all these personal questions like what my name is, where I study, where I'm going etc. He wasn't ugly. But the fact that he couldn't see why I *didn't* want to be approached by a strange man in the middle of the night while walking alone made him insanely creepy and gross to me. He asked me if I could hug him and would not let me go when I tried telling him that I could walk home by myself from a certain point. i never asked him to follow me but he felt like he had done me this huge gentlemanly favor and that he was entitled to my contact information. He kept harassing me until I put my foot down and told him goodbye and good night. Like I said he was not ugly but he was a fucking creep who should've left me alone. I didn't invite him to follow me or talk to me.
@lumos And you did the right thing.
The bottom line is, you aren't a victim. You aren't a victim of your past and you aren't a victim now. You know that not all men are like this. It takes consciousness to act in the moment, so stay conscious.
However, he was not conscious. It wasn't your responsibility to bring him out of consciousness. One day, he may learn to be conscious, but he may not.
Remember, it is no use in living in the collective pain-body of the female experience. It does nothing to dwell on the pain, the emotion, or to identify with your thoughts. Just be very present and be very aware.
Men should do the same. If men would do that, then they would not get caught up in their own egos as this creepy man did.
*bring him out of UNconsciousness
@freakyzeaky except that I am a victim per definition and no matter what "mindset" I have, this is something that has affected me and will keep affecting me for as long as men are going out of their way to harass and potentially assault me, making me feel unsafe. Does that mean I let it hold me back? No, if anything it just encourages me to scream even louder. Maybe next time I'll drop kick him to the fucking ground, who knows. I'm sorry but I don't really get the point of your poetic rant.
@lumos what does worrying about it now do for you?
What are you lacking right this very second?
Those kind of guys are just scum. But I belive that the women who do it , are scum too.
wow you had pretty good self victimization techniques. where did you learn this?
"If you're a feminist (in the true, egalitarian, sense of the word)" feminism isn´t "egalitarian" fucking hell. when will people stop claiming this. that´s like saying i´m a vegan that eats meat.
Intersectional feminism. Freakin' google it.
@lumos since you can´t just say whatever you want and claim it´s feminism. that´s not how it works. feminism is the "female righs movement" it doesn´t change anything if you slap some pretentious words next to it.
all i see that doing is actively dismissing everybody who comes forth with other issues and call them a male white supremacist, which is nothing more than pure misandry.
i know recently women try to promote feminism to all inds of shit but it just isn´t what you want it to be. deal with it. if you want an egalitarian movement, make an egalitarian movement. but don´t call your whatever movement "feminism" just cause you´re a girl and then go forth and claim it´s for everybody. that´s just bullshit.
i have not the slightest problem with feminists who fight for female rights and female issues. that´s fine. buti think people with other intentions than that should stop missusing the name of that movement for their purposes.
@lumos oh and by the way. google doesn´t bring up ANY validated use of the term. just cause goodle shows results for a thing, doesn´t mean it´s a legitimate and validated thing.
Just like with any other ideology, intersectional feminism is just one branch out of many that strives to dig deeper and see how people are affected by oppression in many different ways (socioeconomic status, race, sexuality etc).
What do you think makes a branch like this more or less ”valid”? The term was coined by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, a professor at the UCLA School of Law and Columbia law school. This is not a thing that just appeared out of thin air that people are claiming is a thing. It’s an actual established theory within the feminist narrative. Dunno really what else to tell you 🤷🏻♀️
@lumos you see i could just come up with some bullshit-feminism and there wouldn´t be any way you could tell me that it indeed is bullshit, cause nobody has the definitive power over the term feminism, as it is not institutionalized in any way so everybodies bet is as good as the next one.
i mean i do understand the meaning of what you just explained to me. of course there are many different ways in which individuals are opressed and we indeed should try our best to eleminate those opressing mechanics from our society.
however being a feminist does not entail the fight for equity. it is "the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." and don´t get distracted by the words "equality of sexes" in that definition. it just meas that they strive to make women equal. not men. men are not represented by feminism.
i understand that lots of feminists are just normal and benevolent human beings. still feminism isn´t and will never be the movement for equity.
you can be a feminist. and you can fight for equity and fight intersectionality. but those can not be the same movement. cause the focus of each things is different.
i mean what would you say if i told you there's "intersectional mgtow" ? you would laugh in my face and call me a moron, yet that´s what feminists do.
... right
@lumos xD what do you think of intersectional mgtow? just curious.
No opinion
@lumos too bad :(
u painted with a too black brush.. its not that bad at all.
I agree, but this is relative to specific societal contexts. It may be more of a problem in one country, city, or region due to local cultural and socioeconomic factors.
An extreme example would be the rape epidemic in the regions in the Democratic Republic of Congo where a civil war is raging on. So, relatively speaking, you're right, it's not really that bad, but it still is bad.
@NineBreaker yeah... but generaly.. not bad.. maybe in arab countrs.. Europe is ok
Europe is not ok. i live in one of the safest countries in the world yet I get sexually harassed nearly every time I go out in the evening.
So I'm not allowed to come up and talk to you at a supermarket?
But... in the same breath, women and society say it's the mans job to take initiative and act first. Hmm... It conflicts. To me a supermarket would be an ideal place to talk. People around, safe etc.
Priorities, looks and checklists are all modern day women think of I guess.
Did you read any of her encounters? None of them were simply people talking to her, they are all very clearly instances of sexual harassment. She never says that there is anything wrong with someone talking to her at a supermarket. What is wrong is when she told that guy that he was being inappropriate but instead of stopping the dude just grabbed onto her cart and wouldn't let her leave. It boggles my mind that this doesn't register to you as creepy.
@Nate1941 i skimmed the article, oh wow
You can talk to them, but if she says she doesn't want to talk you should just accept that and leave. The man from the supermarket doesn't respect what she wants and so keeps continuing.
@Darknut123 maybe read the entire mytake before you assume what it is saying and automatically comment!
@ThatonehO pm me we can chat more
About what?
@ThatonehO leave that up to you to decide😊
Well I don't see a point then?
This woman is obviously just a nasty bitch
@Jayson101 am I the nasty bitch you're referring to?
@ThatonehO The woman who wrote the article is typically hypersensitive to any ailment befalling her with a sociopathic disregard and lack of concern for anything that might happen to other people. She doesn't even consider for a second that far worse things happen to men all the time judging by the title of her article. She's just proud of her minor struggles. Such people always expect to be sympathized with but have to sympathy so it is better not to give them attention.
@Jayson101 perhaps you should re-read the article too then. There is nothing wrong with sharing personal struggles, in fact it's often applauded when people share their experiences in an effort to raise awareness for an issue. The writer even explicitly explained why she didn't talk about the rape and sexual assault of men (because she's sharing a personal experience as a woman) she even recommended that male victims raise awareness/share their experiences themselves and that she would be open to that. Thus, she was being both considerate and being sympathetic to similar struggles experienced by men. While I don't agree with absolutely everyting the writer says, her personal experience- and the way in which she wrote it, is neither "hypersensitive" or a "sociopathic disregard or lack of concern" for others.
@ThatonehO Okay, since you asked. A good time to self reflect on your struggles and trials is at your age. When you are just a little older and have more life experience I suspect you will discover (as most people do) that the people who talk excessively about their personal struggles and accuse virtually everyone they meet of mistreating them (as in this article) are almost always the abusers themselves and are not looking for solutions but victims and targets. It's a shock revelation but most people discover it eventually and it's almost a right of passage. When I was 22 I had a friend who helped me recognize my own boundaries because I had given so much of my life to a person who believed me to be an extension of him. Everything anyone did by their own free will was criticized and reprimanded as selfish by this person. I began to disentangle from the control mechanisms placed on me and realize how certain personality types operate in this world and I became freer because of it.
@ThatonehO That same year a woman I had never met before called me up anonymously to tell me not to text girls. She also accused me of stalking her. I got her fired from her job by threatening the company with a lawsuit directly based on her actions. Apparently she did it to a lot of people.
So the moral of the story is that people who feel perpetually victimized, will feel victimized no matter how good their circumstances are and are actually abusing others. Hypersensitive people are nasty bitches who just want to stir drama and create completely fabricated situations.
Alright all men are evil and women are victims. Got it.
I don't know how you came to that conclusion from that respectful my take that was simply bringing awareness towards victims of sexual assault.
If you felt like she thinks all men are evil just for talking about her experiences then maybe you should do some self-reflecting and wonder why you're projecting a mindset like that onto her. If this shit doesn't apply to you and you haven't sexually harassed someone there's no reason for you to feel so offended.
When you ignore what women do and say to men, it's easy to claim that women are victims.
https://i.imgur.com/cxsYZCd.jpg?1
https://i.imgur.com/KulslZs.jpg?1
https://i.imgur.com/lFuGjxV.jpg?1
She addresses that harassment happens to men too in her first paragraph.
@Nate1941 Yes I am aware but the insinuation is that it happens to "most" women when in actuality it happens equally to men and women but men are usually ignored or don't see it as harassment so it gets seen as mostly a women issue.
for example "Hi miss" is NOT harassment, but most feminist idiots believe it is.
I do agree with this. This is as much a men and boys issue as it is a women's. It is too bad that society laughs when this happens to men. However, the reason that she geared this article towards women is because she herself is a women. She encouraged men who have had similar experiences to write a mytake, if they feel comfortable doing that.
Lastly, no, "hi miss" is certainly not harassment. However, the stories she shares in this article are.
This idiotic tea consent shit annoys me...
They forgot to add that if you wake up the next morning and regret drinking the tea or the tea wasn't as good as you had expected, don't act like someone forced you to drink the tea or that it was poured down your throat without your permission.
@LogicBomber Possibly, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a problem.
No, you are right... but the stats show that there actually isn't an epidemic problem like they perpetuate.
https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv14.pdf
Less than 1 in 1000 women are sexually assaulted, (taking into account the number estimated not to come forward, but not taking into account those that are falsely reported, which would actually make it LESS than 1 in 1000) and since male victims are not even considered a statistic... it wouldn't be that hard to believe that the same number of males would be the victims of women.
@LogicBomber That statistic refers to sexual assault as it pertains to a serious violent crime. Meaning if it was not forcible, it is not counted. Catcalling or unwanted touching or other forms of harassment are not counted. If you seriously think that only 1 in 1000 women have been the victim of sexual harassment you are part of the problem.
Hahaha, cat calling is NOT sexual assault. It's rude and ignorant but it is definitely NOT sexual assault.
And in regards to unwanted touching... it actually is part of that stat. Unless you mean something stupid like brushing against someone on a subway which can't be proven as on purpose. Either way, If you think that women are actually as victimized as feminist pretend they are, and men somehow aren't... YOU are actually part of the problem, bud.
@LogicBomber Cat calling is not sexual assault, but the point of this article is sexual harassment.
@LogicBomber And as a guy who has been sexually assaulted, trust me I fight feminists all the time when they claim this is a one sided issue.
I have also been sexually assaulted by a female. I agree with you on the "one-sided" point.
But I don't on the catcalling is harassment. It's ignorant but it isn't harassment.
Someone who works with someone constantly making inappropriate remarks is harassment, but an ignorant asshole stranger yelling out some idiotic thing across the street is not.
@LogicBomber I guess that is a fair point.
Of course, that kind of men think women are game and hate feminists.
That's because feminists are obnoxious and horrible and write academic treatises claiming 'sandwich jokes' are violent and males being raped (including little boys) is NOT violent, simply because it doesn't affect women
@Jayson101 Really? Did you reead one of these papers or did you just hear about it?
I read it and researched it thoroughly. This is a HUGE problem right now. It's called Nicola Gavey 'Just Sex?: The Cultural Scaffolding of Rape'
The chapter is called 'Turning the Tables'. But the attitude is prevailing throughout the entire book.
@Jayson101 She considers date rape as rape, not as 'just sex'. Is that a problem in your opinion? Date rape IS rape! @_@
No. She considers consensual sex to be rape and not 'just sex'. And yes that is a problem to me. Furthermore, the fact that she claims a moral high ground for regarding something as innocuous as a sandwich joke to be violent shows a very poor upbringing and a sociopathic lack of integrity or honesty.
And this is why men NO LONGER ask women OUT. Everything is harassment or sexual harassment. You must hate men. You're a hypocrite, when men call out women it's misogyny but when you do it ok.
If you don't understand the difference between approaching someone politely and backing someone into a corner while expressing threatening body language, saying gross comments and showing a persistence that can only be seen as manipulative, then I'm glad you're not approaching women anymore.
Big deal you had your ass grabbed and someone call you hot.
I've gotten my ass grabbed on public transit too by a woman. Yes it was shocking but not something to dwell or linger on. Infact i felt more flattered.
That's not her only experience, she was also creeped on by a pedophile when she was just a little kid. She had her ass grabbed, without her consent. Lastly, she had someone hold onto her cart preventing her from leaving the store while he simultaneously made her feel uncomfortable. All of these things are sexual harassment.
Don't say that just because you would enjoy it if/when these things happened to you that she should also enjoy her sexual harassment.
@Nate1941 by that definition I've been sexually harassed. That woman grabbed my ass without consent.
Agreed! That is sexual harassment. A strange women who did not know you touched you inappropriately without your consent. However, just because you enjoyed it (I am guessing only because she was attractive?) doesn't mean that everyone else should also enjoy sexual harassment, which is what you imply in your original opinion.
Would you also enjoy it and feel flattered if an old creepy man came over to you and started caressing your balls?
So when a woman sexually harasses me, I'm a woman too?
Best comment here!
@Unit1 Thank you friend.
#MeToo
i was just raped 5 days ago by a friend who i knew over 7 years... This world can be so horrible and cruel and there's so fucked up people out there. Now i've lost my trust pretty much for everyone who is a male and a friend of mine. Not gonna leave myself in their company if there's nobody else i know i can trust since you can't even trust your own friends anymore either... and this is not the only sexual harassment i've experienced, there's too many of them...