How EVERY Woman Can Avoid Sexual Harassment! (Satire)

[John_Doesnt]

Follow these simple steps to avoid being sexually harassed at work, school or just walking around town. Again, this is satire, so don't have a hissy fit.

Step 1: Dress like Ellen

Nothing says "I would never date you(or any man)" like hiking boots and a flannel button top.

Step 2: The Pixie Hair Cut

A man can't sexually harass a woman if he isn't sure she's actually a woman.

Step 3: Watch and discuss reality shows

Discuss the Jersey Shore and My Big Fat Fabulous Life as if the shows weren't obviously scripted.

Step 4: Keep a cucumber or sausage in your pocket

Like step 2, if a guy isn't sure you're a girl he isn't gonna sexually harass you.

Step 5: Cry, a lot.

Cry over everything, for no reason and cry over things that would normally make someone laugh.

Step 6: Avoid bathing, shaving and all grooming

A girl version of Pepe Le Pew will scare any man away.

After following these simple steps I guarantee that no man, even your own husband, will ever sexually harass you again.

Reminder: this is satire!

[Lopezz1999]

These could actually work...

[Whatthefluff]

Lol nice

[Whatthefluff]

Thanks

[Wwwyzzerdd]

I have the strangest boner rn...

[CubsterShura]

looooool