Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

When that "locker-room talk" video of Trump surfaced prior to his election, my immediate reaction out loud was: "mother...fucker." You want to talk about buyer's remorse. Now he's got girls lining up to tear his reputation down, I have a hard time believing all of them (17 now?) are lying. And, to be honest, it warms my heart to see women and men (even the primas in Hollywood) speaking out against it, even if they were covertly recompensed for trading their dignity.

I imagine the betrayal was similar to those of Democrats who witnessed the impeachment of Clinton. It seems sometimes you can't solely rely on anyone but yourself to represent you in a way that reflects your character.

The "swamp", is a case of when absolute power corrupts absolutely. Regardless of political affiliation. Can happen to any one of us. And it is worse in the older generation. Drain it on both sides.

So, based on my experience, my first tip is document, document, document. Send dated emails with time stamps to coworkers or someone you trust. I'll be slightly insidious and suggest it is not that difficult to record audio on your phone and slip it in your pocket if you are uncomfortable behind closed doors with certain coworkers/managers. Some managers who have nothing to hide may even be welcoming of it if you disclose you wish to record any private conversations, there are good ones out there, quite a few actually. Or opt to have a group meeting. Many businesses will often hold company wide training during or prior to employment, take advantage of it and pay attention. Some offices are in an open layout and have glass doors/walls so that everyone can generally see everyone. I'd also recommend, especially guys, condemning it in the workplace among your coworkers. I don't care how badly you want to go with the flow or "fit in". It's not funny when it happens. Consult with HR if you have questions, they are there to help.

Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

And if you find yourself in the midst of a situation, stop talking, get up, and walk out. Walk away. Don't endure ANYTHING for the sake of a job. I guarantee they will be more scared of you than you realize. I would subsequently head right to HR if you have one. It may result in termination, it may not. Not really for you to decide. Companies will often adopt a no-retaliation policy in the event that mistakes are made or if misunderstandings occur, in that event it's used as a teaching opportunity. Whatever the outcome, it may end be the best thing that ever happened to them or you, you never know. You should have been promised a safe environment where you could be productive free of molestation. All this goes for both managers and employees.

To those who want engage in it anyway for compensation or otherwise, don't. It will backfire if word gets out. It can create serious mistrust among coworkers. It also makes your workforce MUCH more difficult to manage if you are a manager for the resentment and disrespect they will now have for you.

If there is anybody who worked in HR or had better experience or advice is welcome to share. This isn't meant to scare anyone and give the impression that we all get up and go to a daily orgy mill. I highly doubt it is something that occurs all that often, although my perspective IS limited given my disposition as a male.

Other tip for younger guys in the work place, sometimes you will encounter institutionalized sexism or inappropriate behavior that has been a part of their culture for decades, it is often older coworkers who perpetuate it. The advice I have is to at least lead by example and not indulge in it. You can go so far as to express disapproval if you wish in palatable ways. I understand the pressure to respect your elders and recognize they're supposed to help teach you the job and be the real leaders, but they need to understand that change is the only constant in this universe. And the truth is being experienced does not necessarily equate to wisdom in any/all situations.

Also understand it from an older worker's perspective that they did sometimes did not acclimate to working alongside the opposite gender and management did not provide distinct goals/guidance on this issue. Oft times because they themselves were stressed or just plain too preoccupied to deal with what most considered a trivial issue compared to their job tasks at hand. Again, HR can be at your disposal if you have questions.

Full disclosure, I have been harassed before and I myself have harassed before. Both instances occurred when I was a minor with other minors. Neither were anything serious. Neither occurred while I was working (in school). It felt wrong and awkward before, during, and afterwards. I didn't need to be told to learn from those lessons. Never again, and will continue to conduct myself accordingly, especially in the workplace. No one should be forced or pressured to trade sexual favors for survival.

I would like to point out that these were not the original photos I inserted into this take. While the original text was unaltered, GAG reserves the right to make whatever changes they wish.

Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Kiran04

    How to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace:

    Stay away from women in the work place at all times. Insist on a neutral 3rd party for all meetings that involve women. Do not mentor women. Do not EVER meet a woman 1 on 1 at work or in any work related capacity. NEVER date a woman from work, or have any intimate relations with a woman from work. Don't hire a woman as your secretary. Make sure your office is located a good distance away from those of any women.

    Boom, problem solved. The future isn't female. It's segregation.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Just make it illegal for women to work. There are already men doing female dominated jobs like nannies, maids, midwives, nursing, early childhood education, etc, so it's not impossible. Then everyone's problems will be solved as long as they can pick up the slack.

      I'm just kidding, but I know there are guys out there who would love that idea.

    • Kiran04

      @musicbrain5 I wouldn't want a male nanny, maid, or midwife, but in general the working relationship between men and women is so deteriorated that you're better off having them work in separate buildings. We have phones, text, and email. No need for close proximity.

    • I did say I was kidding. What you're suggesting might work for office type jobs, but who knows. I certainly don't - I've never worked in an office building. I'm a teacher - I imagine that having to double the amount of schools in every district and hire the right amount of teachers and maintenance workers to staff those schools appropriately would be extremely costly to the taxpayers living in those districts.

      I don't think limiting physical contact between men and women is going to solve anything. It will probably just amplify the problems. Look at all the guys on here from India who creep on the women because it's frowned upon to flirt with women in their own society.

      Extreme feminism, MGTOW, red pill, general misandrist or misogynist ideas and anything else like that are what's causing this massive divide and deterioration of regular social relationships between men and women. They're even destroying families.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Astoriana

    What do you suggest when the person harassing you is your manager, and there is no HR?

    Not everyone works white collar jobs at multi-billion dollar companies with huge departments. You can’t always walk away. You can’t always leave a job because you’re being harassed.

    While this take is well-meaning, I think it’s short-sighted.

    Is this still revelant?
    • I agree that this myTake simplifies it a little too much. In the US, if your harasser is management, or management doesn't listen, there is the EEOC. Once a complaint is lodged there, if your employer does fire you over it you are entitled to compensation for wrongful termination at the very least. I know its not a perfect solution, but there are ways to deal with this situation as well.

    • This thought did cross my mind. I didn't mean walk away from the job, I meant walk away from an incident before it escalates or you panic and do something you might regret. This doesn't have to be fight or flight. Your character wouldn't be in question here. Your manager would have violated trust, and this sends an immediate message.

      In your scenario, I have no direct experience. I can only suggest you still walk away, compose yourself, and still document. Now, since there is no HR, you effectively have to represent your self as your own Human Resource personnel. I would send a written document to your employer restating what happened and that you wish to continue employment unmolested. It IS against the law to sexually harass. I believe you can contact the EEOC for help if you find yourself lost. You can even call the police if it is that bad. And if your employer is an asshole and terminates out of fear or resentment, then you'll have documentation. At the very least, you will...

    • ... you will have evidence of why you were terminated at so it doesn't count against you at your next job.

      And I stress it is probably not prudent to resign without another prospect lined up. But it is also not appropriate to withstand such treatment.

      I was kind of hoping someone else might chime in on this particular scenario, because you are correct.

What Girls & Guys Said

1831
  • nightdrot

    About 15 years ago - before sexual harassment was invented, he said sarcastically - a gal I used to work with had moved onto another job.

    We stayed in touch and one day she mentioned to me that a guy who had worked there a while and was her nominal superior was making somewhat lewd remarks and saying various things. She said, "Should I report this?"

    "Absolutely," I replied, "why wouldn't you?"

    This gal was tough as nails and took no guff from anyone. Her reply to me that day was, "You're right." She went to HR made a huge stink and got him fired. This is, as I say, well before sexual harassment was the issue of the moment.

    Ladies, I don't mean to offend, but enough with the song and dance. You want to be treated equally, then get a backbone and fight back. If you are trading your dignity away because you are afraid it will hurt your career, expect what you are about to get.

    Yes, yes, yes, it would be nice if guys behaved the way they ought. No fact begins with "IF." The world is as it is, warts and all, and no choice - even the right one - comes without consequences.

    This I tell you. Every woman who shut her mouth when Harvey Weinstein molested them and said nothing about it - for whatever reason - made the problem worse. Indeed, are guilty in complicity with the crime.

    Get a backbone, make a choice. Everybody feels for the martyr, but no one wants to be one.

  • JimRSmith

    "They will be more scared of you than you realise."

    Very, very true.

    Always walk out, in these situations. Always.

  • sovetskii13

    I do want to audio record what goes on at my office but I don't know where to hide my phone in order for the microphone to have easy access to sound. It might be too quiet or have a lot noise instead of voice. In my pants, the mirophone easily gets blocked by the material. There is no front pocket on my suit or shirt that can fit the size of my phone. Any suggestions? I can buy a bodycam. Might be tough to hide though. And their battery only lasts like 3 hours based on my research.

    • I'm not suggesting everyone go cloak & dagger. I'm saying documentation and professionally saying "no" can be enough to cause real cultural change in a workplace.

  • Plumy

    I didn't know that event before and I'm not working yet, but maybe this helps with other situations too...
    I like where it is saying that not because people are elder everything they do is right especially when being aware yourself they're not doing something right then yourself have to give the example, it's easier said than done though...
    Anyway thank you for writing it, enlightening take in my opinion ✔

  • Gedaria

    A friend of mine gave me a tip about how to sort guys who put their hands on womens knees.. Sadly with not smoking in building she cannot do it now but a little touch on the back of hand with a lit cig they quickly move it. Now she has a little divise similar to a cattle prod its only the size of a cigarette but just as affective..

  • BrownBratzDoll

    I've been sexually harrased a man literally felt on my nipples, rubbed his dick against my ass, and kept sneak rubbing my little booty and grabbing it. Now i couldnt tell because i would be in trouble for sexual harrassment for sexual flirting, pinching his nipples and a light rub on his chest and stomach lol

    • Thank you for sharing.

      Sexual harassment is usually unwanted/uncalled for/undesirable. Where it gets murky is interpreting post-incident whether a victim/recipient desired it or not. This is the controversy surrounding arousal in that just because you are aroused, doesn't mean you gave consent.

      Verbal comments may or may not be punishable offenses, depends on frequency in my opinion. Physical offenses are pretty clear cut. So if you engage without consent, you are at risk for harassment. It's a gamble.

      I advise keeping it all verbal and any physical activity take place off the clock. Even then, your employer may not allow such talk to occur under their employ.

  • hise-DepartmenT

    The reason men harass women more than vice versa is because men cover their bodies up and women don't. It's not professional for a woman to go to work showing 30 to 50% of her body.

    There's no excuse either. A woman can easily combat that by covering up. Is she aware of that? Yes. Don't dress how you want and be shocked that men look. You can't dress as you want in a professional setting and pretend it had nothing to do with it.

    Women used to fancy men who used to wear less clothes too, so it's the skin that is attractive. If I showed up in a mini skirt and tank top, women will be more attracted towards me on average. It's unfair to allow this when it can be combated.

    The work place is not a place to dress sexy.

    • Jayson101

      Women harrass men more often.

    • 4 female wusses who can't speak and defend what I say, yet wussified enough to down vote.

    • @Jayson101
      How?

    • Show All
  • Commander_Courtney

    Just zap any bastard that screws with you!
    lol
    Thanks for the take.

  • torken

    How to fight harassment:

    Demand respect and respect others
    Everyone should be respected at work, no one should be so far up the chain that they forget that the people below them are working every single day to make them money.

    Open and honest communication
    I think miscommunication is the cause for 90% of these harassment issues. When someone does something small that is inappropriate, and no one says anything, then they think it wasn't inappropriate. That tends to snowball. Most people don't view themselves as a villain, and would happily change their ways if they were shown that they were acting inappropriately.

  • John_Doesnt

    Eventually something will be done, but it's taking a long ass time. More women need to come forward, it gets harder for perverts to deny it when there are so many witnesses.

    • Jayson101

      You do not understand the darker side of female nature.

    • @Jayson101 are you talking about your mother?

    • Jayson101

      Yes. My mother, in her youth, was very beautiful. She was a cellist. She would go after guys with multiple girlfriends. Drug dealers and bohemians. Taken men. She would laugh off men who hung around her a lot and was scared by their sexual advances.

      Scorned by the infidelity of the kind of men she WAS interested in, she slashed their tires and smashed glass at them. She ended up falling in love with my dad who, though i love him, was emotionally volatile and vitriolic and would leave the home and go on week long drinking benders in Hong Kong with my newborn self (less than a month old) at my mothers home in New Zealand.

    • Show All
  • Bourne96

    I’ve had a couple of girls grab my ass hard back in high school and they all just laughed. And I’m not gonna lie I wanted to smack the shit right outta those girls l.

  • zagor

    Hmm, I would think that at least in the Western world, everyone under 70 would be used to dealing with the opposite gender in the workplace now.

  • jacquesvol

    Reacting with a loud voice can discourage.
    People don't like to be exposed.

  • Rainychoc

    Girls, please learn karate or any martial arts. Never take these things easy and straight about it.

  • gobsmacked3

    i think there is a difference between the ideal and reality over this issue

    Ideal- You communicate to your assailant after saying no to their advance making it known they were wholly in the wrong and in no way you tolerate this. This is the measure if you want to give them a chance. If not, you relay it straight to a superior and take it from there

    reality- Sometimes this is not an option. the world is more enlightened in dealing with this but some people are still forced to suffer in silence. think of a small company without support networks or working in a job you need for you are under the cosh financially. You do not want to take shit but you fear that if you rock the boat it might cost you and then how do you pay your bills

    No easy answers for it still is not an ideal world for many

    • I suggested in another thread that you pretty much have to act as your own HR rep. in a smaller company. You can contact the EEOC for help if it's that bad. Mostly, it's about standing up for yourself. I would distinguish this as majority and minority. These are real world examples, not just idealities. Corporations make up less than 1 percent of private firms but employ about 38% of the workforce. I'm not entirely sure, but the public sector should be even stricter/consistent.

      I'd prefer you offer advice on working for smaller companies if you have any. I've never encountered any issues myself in the few I've worked for. I don't think being rash and quitting is wise without something else lined up or dealing with the problem directly. And, anywhere you go, you can document. He who documents, wins. But this is a large headache/hassle and stressful which is why I I don't think it should be your first reaction unless it was a criminal offense.

    • let me give you the example of a person working a 'cashy' at a place. It is great for it is tax free but they have a boss who is a slob in many regards

      You can't document here...

      Granted the world is more enlightened but it is still happening and not easy to deal with on many levels. You live in the states where litigation rages for everything and anything. In other countries, there are not as many structures in place to be heard.

      on many levels, i can't fathom remedies for many who cop this whack. i wish I could but sometimes there are no easy answers

    • Cashy? You're likely breaking the law anyway working under the table. Sexual harassment should be lower on your list of concerns.

      You can always document, always. It's about building a case. And like I said, recording your interactions with suspect individuals is a good defense. But consulting the EEOC would be best to make sure you avoid any legal ramifications. And just because you build a case, doesn't mean it has to go to trial. It could simply always be leverage that hangs over employers/managers head which they deserve anyway if they're guilty.

      I can't speak to other countries. I'm concerned about the US.

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  • Djaay

    It's simple for me... if she isn't my wife , stay the f... away from me as far as you can.

  • ovoxo_

    Do not interact with women in any way at the workplace

  • Unknownooo

    People are being harassed everywhere. It's just we can only avoid contact with such people.

  • Michael82

    I couldn't tell if I was harassed or sexual harassment at my work a few years ago

  • Avoid women in the workplace

  • Serbian_Tiger

    Fake sexual harrasement cases

    • Yes, and if there is nothing to hide, then there is nothing to fear.

    • MlleCake

      What about them? This take is not about fake cases.

  • Tomblebee

    What were the original photos?

    • www.lucasware.com/.../training.png

      I specifically didn't want gender/racial undertones because it applies to everybody.

    • Tomblebee

      And they just change whatever they want?

    • If they so choose, yes. It's part of their terms of service. There are some things they don't wish to be circulating on their site. Especially vitriolic material. But, I think they don't have the time to go around censoring/adulterating all user submitted content when they need that material to attract users, especially females.

    • Show All
  • disgustingweebtrash

    Avoid women

  • Hungry_Shark

    Interesting

  • awanti95

    Really amazing

  • crswalkerr

    Nice read.

  • Good_Behavior

    Too simple.

  • OliviaSoten

    Thanks this is important

  • Surgeonnn

    Nice

  • Nice222

    Good take thanks.

  • otedpfft

    cut off the arms with which they touched you

  • fredrick89

    Great myTake

  • Anonymous

    What if your boss always talks to you about sexual situations and it turns you on but you are both married?

  • Anonymous

    Thank you!

  • Anonymous

    Why do women go for the real douchebags and then complain about sexual harrassment? Boo fu (kin hoo

    • Jayson101

      Cause they are hypocrites and many are raised on a pedastool to believe they dictare the world.

    • Anonymous

      @Jayson101 Amen

    • jokercard

      Found the Nice Guy™️

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    Thanks

  • Anonymous

    guess this shows GaG's bias. ;)

  • Anonymous

    Thanks

  • Anonymous

    What I would like to know is why do older men... usually men over 55 feel like they can say what they want to a woman? No one cares about the size of their dried up penis or how long they can go.

    • Testosterone and social conditioning. It was normal for them. I imagine some may be struggling with their home lives as well.

    • Anonymous

      You are correct. Men this age that has come on to me... says their wives doesn’t want sex anymore.

    • Sounds about right. Convenient, shallow excuse. I've heard them whine their wives love their pets more than them. They say it like their wife's to blame, I get it, but I think to myself "have you looked in the mirror lately, not just physically, but at your character?" Whether it's true or not, I think they need hobbies. Volunteer work would be perfect for them, they've clearly got the time to spare. At least it will give them something to talk about with their wife, which is probably the root of the problem in that they're not giving them enough attention out of boredom. Got to keep growing.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    Good Job.

  • Anonymous

    Good to know

  • Anonymous

    Good take thanks.

  • Anonymous

    Warn your female Co workers

  • Anonymous

    I'd report them to the HR department and file a grievance as soon as possible, it's most effective if you have at least a witness of the incident and can verify that it did indeed happen.

  • Anonymous

    I wish a girl would sexually harass me 😉

    • Agent

      The mere presence of that thought in your mind constitutes sexual harassment.
      You monster.

    • Think what you want, do NOT let it manifest into action or something unlawful. A good manager would want to know why you're not focused on the job at hand.

    • Anonymous

      @Agent you ever heard of a joke?

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    Why not just give in to the moments instead of so much resistance and you both feel real happy afterward? Who really has the right to deny men or women something? I know it sounds awful, but after that wall is knocked down and hormones flow you won't really care... would you?

    • You're there to work. If you can't control yourself, I'm not sure you're a good fit for a company.

    • MlleCake

      So, when that very large, bearish gay man from the accounting department corners you after a budget meeting to come-on to you, pressures you for a date, sex, a blowjob in his office whatever... Blue Anon, you're telling me you're just going to let the hormones flow and be happy about it? Still happy after he badmouths you to your managers because you said no, so that you might get overlooked for the next promotion or raise you apply for? Still happy if he makes it so you won't even be given an opportunity to DO your job until after you perform sexual favors? You're going to be just fine with that?

    • Anonymous

      Your twisting it

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    Record everything Audio and video as evidence if your a man to be used later in a court of law as either evidence to prosecute your harrasser or your accuser. I was once falsely accused baba woman that was sexually harrassing me in the workplace who then accused me of rape. I had months of evidence from my phone and computer. The company bought me off with £80,000.

  • Anonymous

    Good points, and the advice to go to HR, while good, doesn't mean that it will be taken seriously in every company or country. That said, you should always report such harassment to HR ASAP; regardless of your gender or that of your harasser.

  • Anonymous

    Good to know good take

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