To All the "Fat" People (Girls Especially)...

[Yanika]

I don't mean to offend anyone with this Take. Nor do I mean to use the word "fat" in an offensive way, it is only an adjective. I just want to share my side of the story.

People who are of a bigger size often say that they feel they are being judged or even shamed for their body shape. Me personally, I love chubby people and I think people can look good no matter what their size is. Actually in my opinion, a bigger size looks quite good and definitely much better than being too skinny. No one thinks of these people by the way. Most "fat" people can lose weight, but people who have it in their genes to be skinny cannot gain any no matter what they do. Actually they are the ones I feel truly sorry for. Anyway, I know not all people think like me and I also feel sorry that people on the chubbier side who have to live with body shaming, or other prejudice towards their physical appearance.

However, while these people like to complain about other people judging them, some of them like to judge others too.

I was never really fat, always more athletic. I always wanted to have curves and in the last few years I started to gain some weight. However, I was not happy with my body shape in the end because fat didn't only go on my hips and bust but also my belly. So I decided that I will shred these few extra kilos and grow my muscles of the specific body areas which I wanted to be more curvy.

I started with a specific diet and strength training and successfully I shaped my body into what I like. I don't have huge curves, I am no Kardashian nor will I ever be able to be super curvy naturally. But I am fit and I do have a curvy figure - meaning I am not flat, I have a firm bubble butt and B cup breasts that are more obvious now that my stomach is flat.

I am satisfied with my appearance as I am aware that this is as good as it gets for me. And I want to keep this appearance, so I am careful what I eat. Meaning: I eat healthy, I avoid sugar and junk food but I am full on vegetables and meat. I also count my calories and try not to exceed, which is very easy to be honest when you are eating healthy.

Anyhow, now I find it quite annoying when chubby people want to feed me all the time. They say things like:

"you haven't eaten anything"

"eat desert"

"why don't you eat chips?"

"why don't you eat more?"

"you look skinny".

People. I don't tell you how to eat and how to live and I would be happy if you don't try to force me with your habits either. I don't judge you and I would be thankful if you don't judge me. I am not skinny, nor do I want to be. But are you trying to tell me I am not good enough because I am not a bigger size?

Think about it. You are behaving towards others in the exact same way that you would hate to be treated.

Body shaming is not only when it comes to the people of a bigger size. Nowadays there is a hip about being thick. I will never be thick no matter how much I want to be. It is not in my genes. Maybe I can be fat but I prefer being fit in that case and I enjoy being fit (thank God, otherwise I would be miserable with my options). I feel healthy and strong. So please just let me be as I let you be.

I just wanted to write this so people would think about it and see it from another side.

Thank you for reading.

[CubsterShura]

Formerly I was a bit chubbier than what I am now, so I have faced both kinds of comment on my diet. Believe me, everyone will have something to complain about your diet, forever.

I used to be a complete foodie. People would be like, you are already quite 'healthy', if you eat more you'll be fat and start to look bad! And now that I avoid eating a lot, and completely cut off coke, other foods I allow myself in small portions, enough to just taste a bit of every item available... people comment stuff like 'are you on a diet?' as if it is something funny. And of course, telling me to eat more.

The one and only advice that I would give you is, to eat a lot. Eat a lot of healthy food, but make sure you eat. I started to eat less for losing weight. It did cause calorie deficit and I lost weight, but avoiding full meals caused me to suffer with gastritis. Believe me, suffering with frequent stomachache and constipation sucks. I am so used to eating less that now despite trying to eat a lot, I can't. I get full quickly.

And again, don't give a fuck to what people say. Good luck!

[MrMAC777]

This is a good take, thanks for writing it. You are right, people judge others regardless of their personal looks. I just hate when people make excuses, unless they have a legit condition or disease. Most fat people can get off their ass, most skinny people can gain some sort of mass generally too. So dont whine about it if you dont try to fix it. I understand it is expensive to have the proper diet. But it also takes focus, drive and effort, and that is what makes fit women attractive to me. 😉

[Anonymous]

there are also fat people who have it in their genes to gain fat easier; but yeah they need treatment then; its more healthier to have fat (not too much) than being too skinny; the body needs savings; and fat is very important for the body and yeah i met many fat people, who are so nice, you dont really care about them being fat..; but also.. there are fat people who behave very aggressive; to all fat people: if you like food so much, do the food yourself, cook yourself; show your love to food and try all kinds of dishes, not only unhealthy once (all like sometimes some good unhealthy food); learn cooking and you improve your health; and if you do all right.. do some sport every day, make it your routine.. you dont need to get skinny.., just to live healthy.. and yeah a good combination of carbohydrates fat and proteins is healthy.. you need all of it; having fat is healthy, having too much is not; good luck, its not too hard; like i said.. you dont need to be skinny; that shouldn't be your goal.. ; just live healthy and most problems will solve itself; enjoy the spring :)

[Opinion Owner]

by the way.. i have fat too... :)

[MagiAlphaOne]

I have to agree with my Wife, THIN IS IN! She was heavy growing up. As she approached 30, she realized that if she was ever going to get married and have children that she would have to lose the weight! So, she got on Nutrisystem and DROPPED THE WEIGHT. Not exactly sure when she reached her weight goal but sometime after that I met her on a blind date. Later I saw pictures of her before she lost the weight. I have to admit that I would not have dated her before the weight loss. We have been married 25 years.

[Yanika]

I am glad that both of you two are healthy and happy!

[Anonymous]

I had to "rudely" tell a coworker to shut his pie-hole after three months of constant nagging that I shouldn't deprive myself. Live a little. Enjoy life. I weigh 185 and in good shape. So I politely pointed out the fact that I didn't tell him what to eat. He responded with "Look, I just think you should have a little fun in your life."

"Dude, l banged a hottie last night for an hour without breaking a sweat, and you couldn't even find your dick to beat it. The fuck do you know about fun? Eat your cake and shut your piehole."

It was an asshole thing to say, and l kinda regret it, but damn. Some people just can't leave folks alone.

[Greatcat]

that is an asshole thing to say LOL the guy probs eats so much cause he's depressed

[Opinion Owner]

@Greatcat Then he shouldn't be telling anyone else what to do, he should be getting his own shit together. After three months of being patient with the guy, I'd had enough.

[marciakayxx]

hahaha this is so awesome

[Anon-ymous1]

Lol dunno why rudely is in quotes... it was definitely rude, dude.

[didigo182]

Hahaha...

[Anonymous]

"Most "fat" people can lose weight, but people who have it in their genes to be skinny cannot gain any no matter what they do. Actually they are the ones I feel truly sorry for."

That sounds like something odd to say in an odd way.
Why would you feel sorry for naturally skinny people but not naturally fat people?
Actually, you explained why: because you're naturally thin yourself.
Of course you could also say 'most' skinny people can gain weigh. You did.

But then this isn't about being thin or fat, is it? It's about body types and you wanting to be curvy.
Note that many or even most fat people aren't actually curvy and that there are skinny people who are curvy as well. It's about the body shape, not the fat.

[Yanika]

Thanks for your answer.

You are right maybe because I am naturally thin myself I desire to have different body shape. I do have a friend though who is really naturally skinny. When I say skinny I dont mean thin. I am thin but actually I look like Shakira for example. I dont think we are skinny (and I dont like to be called skinny) but we are thin. My friend for example she is skinny, naturally she looks small and kind of anorexic. And I know from first hand that she is not working on that, she likes to eat just nothing sticks.

[SirRexington]

For the record neither girl in the pictures were attractive.

I love chubby/thick girls. I much prefer them over skinny or toned girls. Fat is when a person has loose skin and extra fat. Being firm and "fat" is fine. Being blubbery is not fine and is what I mean when I say fat.

[InTimoreDei]

Agreed, they're both ugly

[Yanika]

@InTimoreDei I also like chubby girls and guys.. I think they are cute :)

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@Yanika Am I "chubby"? I consider myself muscle bound with some belly to lose. I have a huge frame too, and I'm six foot, three inches tall.

Look at my profile photo.

[Yanika]

@EnglishArtsteacher Actually you look strong, maybe a bit chubby.. definitely you look good, I think one of the best body types.

[CHARismatic110]

No shaming is ok. Period. The world doesn't know how to live and let live. I've lost 80lbs and I'm still never gonna put someone down about their weight. I don't know why people feel so comfortable commenting about what others look like. I never understood that.

[Angelina25]

Personally, I really don't care when people tell me that I'm fat. Coz, "somehow" what I eat enters my body, and not theirs. So it shouldn't be a problem to them.
It was a good take by the way.
All love,
A. x

[Yanika]

You are totally right dear, it is no ones business what and how you eat but your own. And what matters is that you are happy.
xoxo

[jjjoanaaa]

I suffered bullying in highschool by a chubby girl because I've always been naturally skinny. She would judge the things I would do to my hair, makeup, how I dresssed, how skinny how was and how boys wouldn't like me because they like to have something to grab on. she was always picking on me, even when we were alone.

[Anon-ymous1]

... She was jealous that you are skinny and she isn't. Isn't that obvious?

[jjjoanaaa]

@Anon-ymous1 Obviously it is but that didn't make it any better.

[Anon-ymous1]

Lol I guess but at the end of the day, you're the one that's skinny. She's the one that's fat.

You win.

[Yanika]

That sucks :/ fortunately the times are over and I hope you are satisfied with how you look now..

[bellybuttonlint]

I'm naturally skinny myself and I eat about 3000 calories a day (50% more than the recommended 2000) and I'm tired of people saying I don't eat much.

I purposely add butter to some of my dishes to add calories. It's usually people who are of "more than modest size" who tell me that I need to eat more... other skinny people understand.

by the way, the fit girl in your post is much more attractive to me than the plump girl.

[Yanika]

So you know the drill :)
Thanks for the comment!

[dipta]

Butter isn't real food though...
Just saying that eating unhealthy may give you high cholesterol and other health issues before making you any bigger...

[Anonymous]

I have been all over the spectrum when it comes to weight and this is what I have experienced so far:
- At my almost overweight period everyone and their grandma told me to put the fork down and even overweight dudes shamed me for being too fat.
- At a normal I was still told by assholes to put the fork down if, God forbid, I ate a PIECE OF CAKE!
- And finally, when I was (and still am) underweight I am told by people who care about me (family, friends, physician) to gain some weight, but strangers can't stop complimenting me on how pretty and fit I am.

In conclusion, society has got kind of a skewed idea of what healthy looks like. :/
But I agree with you that many overweight individuals are hypocritical when it comes to body shaming.

[Anonymous]

I think our society does kind of "fat" shame people, that's my honest opinion. I use to teach Sunday school to little 5 and 6 year olds and they were talking about how fat they were and they weren't even fat. I'm 124 and I wish I was 100 pounds (I am 5'3) and I think I am fat and try so hard to only eat veggies and fruits and do a lot of walking every day. I drink a ton of water... but I still feel fat. fat shaming is real, we do it to ourselves, the media does it to us too.

[Yanika]

Unfortunately :(

There are cultures in this world though who's beauty standard are bigger size women. So things are relatives and it is just one point of view.. if that helps.

[Yanika]

*relative

[MsMusic]

I'm overweight. Working on losing weight... lost 10lbs by just cutting out sugary drinks so far.

I'm also adding in more walks with the dog, and working out when I have time. babysteps lol

Mind if I ask what kind of diet you were eating?

[mewsk90]

Good job! That is the right attitude to have. Its about making small manageable changes that will stick with you and lead to a healthier lifestyle, rather than a crazy diet requiring Olympian willpower. (That is why people regain weight after dieting, they go straight back to their old eating habits).

I was quite overweight years ago and I started by cutting out my daily energy drink, then the takeaway food, I wasn't exercising or eating 'healthy' but I was shocked at how quickly the weight was dropping!

Remember to set achievable goals as well so you've got something to aim towards.

[Yanika]

You are doing great dear, baby steps are steps ;)

I think it is important to know what we put in our mouth, just like sugary drinks that you had cut and which might seem innocent but made huge difference already.

My advice is change your habits and eat healthy (as you already started). Change diet into something that you can stick with and not only for the time of dieting. I think our desire for junk food and sugar is mostly kind of addiction. Once you stop eating those, after awhile you don't have such a strong desire anymore.

My exact diet was high protein low carb diet and I was cutting 250-500 calories from my daily need and I did as well strength training. This was for the time when I was losing my kilos. And this I must say was the hardest part. Now I just eat normal amount and I stick to healthy food. But I love meat and veggies that is why I chose this diet. Proteins are great for weight loss too, and help a lot with building nice physique.

[PervinMervin29]

It's a goodtake. My own opinion is that fat should not be acceptable but it's people's choice to be fat or not and live and let live as we just can't round them up and put them into camps.
i0.kym-cdn.com/.../Man_the_Harpoons.jpg

[MelaninDoll]

XD WHY?

[PervinMervin29]

@MelaninDoll because I'm honest.

[MelaninDoll]

Good, you're the kind of person that doesn't sugarcoat things to spare someones "precious" feelings.

[cherryphi82]

The Black girl in this picture is what I would want to look like if I could choose. That aside, I think you are totally right with this take. Do not replace one form of shaming with another. Putting skinny people down, be they natural or dieting, is doing nobody any good. Treat everybody the way you'd like to be treated and stop with the shaming and assuming.

[HikerDude]

That's true, some fat people are incredibly judgmental. I've had fat girls tell me I didn't have enough muscle in the past, like this big tubby girl who wore pants to the beach telling me I wasn't big enough. Right.

[Yanika]

Hm thats true, some of them seem so picky and critical when it comes to opposite gender (or same if they are gay). Like more than needed. I have no idea why is that.

[martyfellow]

Yes, exactly. The people who don’t take care of themselves want to be exempt from all criticism, but they don’t hesitate to calll those of us who make such an effort ‘skinny.’

Add hypocrisy to obesity. The two don’t add up to anything admrable.

[syphalyticwarthog]

I blame the government, during the War food was rationed and there was no obesity, they abolished rationing, the result, obesity, bring back ration books.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

To be fair, there are many people who are obese due to several medical issues. I know this because my mom is a nurse, and has told me several cases she's had of people who can't lose weight.

[Anonymous]

I’m 5ft and about 90 pounds. I’ve been body shamed before, mostly by bigger girls who don’t seem to realize that skinny shaming is just as hurtful as fat shaming.

[Yanika]

It is just not fair. And that comes from the mouth of those who supposed to know how bad it feels to be shamed..

[Anonymous]

>a bigger size looks quite good and definitely much better than being too skinny.

Hurts right in the heart, having one hell of a metabolic rate.

> but people who have it in their genes to be skinny cannot gain any no matter what they do. Actually they are the ones I feel truly sorry for.

Then read this and feeling pitied makes me feel worse lmao

Not really feeling bad for it, but I've never met anyone into skinny folks.

[Yanika]

Ohh damn I am so sorry.. how insensitive from me :S I didn't mean it to come across like this. I just meant to say, fat people feel sorry for themselves but it is way easier for them to lose weight than for someone else to gain.

Be proud and happy with however you are, there is a beauty in each one of us.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree. Let people be who they want to be.
Well done on getting fit.
I'm working on it, lost 50lbs already, as one of the fatties I don't see why people complain about it. Yes everyone judges but people complain about everything.
You eat what you want to eat :)

[Anon-ymous1]

Yeah except anyone who "shames," whatever the hell that means, someone else for being too fit or skinny is... a moron, because being fit and/or skinny isn't unhealthy or unattractive (as long as it's not extreme, like with anorexia). But being fat is both unhealthy and unattractive. So...

[Yanika]

The unattractive part is relative I believe, people like different things. But it is true I guess that most people don't like morbidly obese or skinny that looks anorexic. In anyway I think no one should shame no one no matter how they look. What's the gain of putting others down?

[Anon-ymous1]

Ideally, they'll change.