If you are fat, I'm going to call you fat, damnit!

[Tarvold]

Is it me or have we suddenly become way over sensitive when it comes to using the new F word these days?

Yes, I know, science tells us that being fat is largely our parent's fault. Your mom either didn't eat enough when you were developing in her womb, or you lucked out on some crappy genes, or maybe your parents just didn't know better and gave you a shitty diet when you were young. But none of these are any reason why anyone has to stay fat.

Lets face the facts for a moment here. In today's age of science and personal development, losing fat is largely a solved problem. The information is freely available everywhere, and anyone who wants to lose weight can do it. Which boils down to one thing - if you're fat it's because you don't want to stop being fat.

So if this is something you're doing to yourself, why should the rest of us have to tip toe around your problem? If you're feeling insecure about it, then lets just call out the elephant in the room and deal with it.

When I call people out on being fat, I'm not doing it because I get some perverse pleasure out of putting other people down. I never understood how much somebody else weighs has anything to do with me. What I do want to achieve is to give that person a bit of feedback that they're heading towards an unhealthy situation. I am telling them that they are doing something wrong, in the hopes that they will get the message and start doing something better for themselves.

If they feel a bit hurt by it, well, yeah... maybe they should. They're fat! They're insecure about their fatness! It's not healthy for them, and it's not healthy for us to be around people who are so insecure that we need to mince our words around them.

I want you to be healthier and happier and I'm willing to give you my support to get there. But I'm not willing to keep up the white lies for the sake of preserving your own insecurities, especially for something that is slowly killing you.

[Print]

If you are randomly telling them "You're fat" when they haven't asked for your opinion then you are a bully. Easy as that and I'll call you a bully because you are very rude and try to break down peoples self esteem. That's something a jackass would do. You also get a sick perverse pleasure out of hurting someones feelings. There are some people who can't help it and have a medical condition or are using medication they need that makes them gain weight.

[Tarvold]

But it's ok for fat people to go around and randomly telling thin people that they're skinny bitches with anorexia who needs to go and eat a burger?

[Print]

No its not but not all fat people do this same as not all skinny people put down someone over their weight. If someone of any size, any gender, any race , any sexual orientation, any religion. Puts someone down over any of this they are just plain jackasses

[bloodmountain1990]

Fat shaming is bad but promoting fat/obesity isn't good either. Same with skinny shaming/skinny promoting (to the point of anorexia) . One thing I am sick of is when I see girls who use misleading pictures on dating sites and say they're average/curvy and then when you meet them in person they end up being borderline obese.

If you are overweight, don't lie about it.

[Tarvold]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

This is absurd. It truly is.

Everyone has their own issues. You included. Maybe yours isn't something you can physically see, but there's something.
Overweight people are aware that they are. It isn't necessary to tell them..
People who are overweight & go on to lose the weight do not do it because they have a "supportive person who wants them to be happier and healthier" calling them fat. They do it because they decide to. It's always ultimately up to them.

You can swear up and down that you mean well by it, but in reality you're just kind of being an ahole lol. There's a reason you have a preoccupying inclination to want to tell people they are fat, and it hasn't anything to do with the actual fat people or anyone else but you. I don't know the reason & maybe you don't either. This isn't even a formatted as question.
But if you think hard enough that's what you're doing. Otherwise you wouldn't find it necessary to come online & let strangers know you feel this way. Because you know you'll get two reactions.

People who agree with you & justify this morbidness.
And of course people (hopefully fat, right?) who disagree & are hurt by this.

Drug addicts use drugs compulsively & people who are overweight eat compulsively.
Love ones of drug addicts do not call the drug addict hurtful names in order to be supportive & wanting them to be "happier and healthier" or whatever you said. They just don't do that. It's not normal behavior to use those harmful tactics when dealing with issues or people you truly care about.

But look maybe I do know why.., Not to say you're being abnormal, it's actually natural what you're doing. The cover-up you're using isn't..
We are prone to categorize ourselves. We do it consciously and subconsciously. We like to find people we identify with (in your case people who are not fat) & it's very *postive* . A lot of the time it's harmless.(kids on a playground, inevitable cliques in high school) But the there's the big ones we get into (race, religion even gender and we all know the ugly side of those topics.
The flip side of identifying with a group comes from a need to consistently disseminate.(which is what ur doing here on GAG) Which means the people opposite get thrown under the bus..
and that can get very *negative*. like I said race is a big but clear example. It's where hatred comes into play.
But it's human nature. We all do it.

I didn't mean to go off on a psychology tangent but that's just what this appears to be

[Tarvold]

I respect the amount of effort you've put into this reply.

First, lets get this out of the way. I understand your point completely, and I still think you are 1.) wrong, and 2.) misunderstanding my point entirely.

Let's pick off the low hanging fruit first. Your whole analogy with drug addicts can be disproven with one simple question - what is the first step of AA/NA's 12 step program? It's "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.". People who love drug addicts and alcoholics do not shy away from their condition, instead they face it head on together with honesty and support. If they are an alcoholic, then it's ok to call out their alcoholism, right? So why is there this double standard?

Let's put it another way. You want to call me out for being an asshole, yet you shy behind "ahole" and "lol". Well... what's the point? I understand that what you really wanted to call me was "asshole", and hiding behind a mildly altered vocab isn't going

[Tarvold]

... going to change my mind about whether I feel offended or not. I still got the message. In a way, you are doing exactly what I am doing... you see me doing something you think is harmful, and you're calling out my behavior by calling me an asshole.

This brings me to my second point. The word "fat" wasn't and shouldn't be an insult. It's just a word to describe a body type somewhere between chubby and obese. It's completely unfair for people to randomly pick words to feel offended by and make the rest of society feel bad for using it. If nothing else, by stopping people from talking about "fatness", we're condoning a very unhealthy lifestyle.

Finally. I think you need to take a step back and take a look at things in context. I've explained it many times in other comments - this isn't about randomly and without invitation calling someone fat, but about people (like you) who have such a strong and negative association with a word for no good reason, that is also preventing progress.

[Opinion Owner]

I made sure to say you are being an asshole, not that you *are* an asshole. The only reason I put ahole is because I wasn't sure whether or not GAG would flag me for using the real one. Now I know..

Also the keywords I'll pull out of your drug example is " We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable." The keykeyword is "We". Like I said, it is always ultimately up to that person whether or not they will get better. Regardless of whether or not they even have people in their lives who want them to stop. You always hear them talk about their rock bottom, their personal wake up call and it's never because someone keeps calling them a name reminding them who they are.

Also I didn't say love ones don't shy away from the condition, but their approach is to not just sit there and call names. Which is the only thing you've zeroed in on in being "supportive". You didn't offer any other way of being supportive but that.

[Opinion Owner]

And what I'm saying it just simply doesn't work.

And well now I'm not sure what your actual issue is. Fat people or being able to use the word fat and not have people get offended by it.
You just said being call an asshole insulted you because of course it did. It's not wrong for you to feel insulted by that word, so why should other people conform because you don't find one word personally insulting? Sometimes there are multiple words that described the same thing and some of those words are offensive.
I could've really coped out and said you're being a "meanie" but I didn't, because I didn't want to. Because I'm not lying and saying that you're being an asshole to help or support you.
If you want to call people fat then keep doing it, but don't shape it up to make it look like your reasoning is coming from a good place.

The origin of what ur striving for isn't going to be found in changing peoples' mind on whether or not the word used to describe an issue is insulting or not

[Opinion Owner]

Which tells me your not coming from a place of well meaning.
It's by actually being supportive to people within your radius of the people you have any business worrying about in the first place. And those people are not the ones reading this on GAG.

[Tarvold]

The whole "we" thing is pointless. Whether the use of "fat" fits within the "we" context or not depends on the context, which is not the point here. The point is that as soon as somebody uses the word "fat" in any context, people like you jump to conclusions and get all offended by default.

I am an asshole, so I am not offended by it, but you didn't know that when you used the word. So how can you lecture me when your moral standing from exactly the same place as mine? Oh, maybe because I am "not coming from a place of well meaning". Well, I don't make a habit of answering questions anonymously, so feel free to go through my history and see if that assumption is true.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you just called yourself an asshole. Which is what this was about the moment you started typing this irrelevant rant. Which is all I've been saying (aside from when I went into the psychology on why you're doing it) that was basically all I'm saying.

Since you agreed & since you aren't really challenging the argument anymore (or really ever accurately did) It isn't necessary for us to go back and forth any longer.
Cheers

[Tarvold]

Are you fat?

[Opinion Owner]

No I'm not overweight, but I have people that I love that are.

[Sara413]

Bullshit you're not doing it to get some kind of pleasure from putting people down. If someone is fat they fucking know they're fat. Calling them out on it isn't some grand revelation - it's just being mean for the sake of being mean. Plenty of people out there who are skinny are extremely unhealthy, but no one "calls them out on it."

You don't care about their health, you just don't like looking at fat people and it makes you feel superior to make them feel shitty. News flash: other people don't exist for your pleasure amd comfort. If the sight of a fat person bothers you, that's YOUR problem, not theirs. Telling them they are fat doesn't help anyone except you. I said it already but I'll repeat it now: FAT PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW THEY'RE FAT.

Sure, it is possible to lose weight, but it is a fuck tonne of work and as people who don't strugglw with our weight, neither you or I are in a position to be telling people it's easy. It's not. It's one of the hardest things a person can do. If a person decides that it's not something they value enough to completely change their lives for, that is their choice. I used to smoke and I knew it was unhealthy but I smoked for years before I finally quit, because I just wasn't ready for that change. It really pissed me off when people would lecture me about it because it's none of their goddamn business. I can't imagine adding to that the hurtfulness of being told your appearance bothers someone enough to make them want to actually tell you you're fat.

Deal with your insecurities and stop using health as an excuse to hurt people's feelings. You're not helping, you're being a bully.

[GirlsLie]

^^Exactly this.

Also I like how people assume that over weight people, aren't already in the process of losing weight. Like you said, it's a lot of work, it doesn't happen over night. It's rude to assume that they're not already eating healthy and exercising in order to change.

[Tarvold]

You are free to draw what ever conclusions you want, but ultimately, it really does just boil down to the one thing - I don't want to force myself to use politically correct language just because fat people are insecure about themselves. There is a difference between going out of my way to hurt someone, and people feeling hurt by what I do because of their own insecurities. If I want to hurt people, there's much more entertaining ways to go about it than just calling them fat.

[YourFutureEx]

Take Owner - How do you know that they are insecure? It is same like "I know you're insecure Take owner, because you dream of to become a billionaire but you are not."
#Generalisation

[Tarvold]

@YourFutureEx the thing is, nowhere in my take did I say that I am going out of my way to call people fat without an invitation to do so. So many people here have projected this onto what I've said through their own imagination because... well... because they're insecure. It ought not to be. Which is my point.

[YourFutureEx]

"nowhere in my take did I say that I am going out of my way to call people fat without an invitation to do so"
ohhhh I see... Well, you're unlucky :/

[Sara413]

Perhaps the issue was with your writing, then, because most people seem to have come to the same conclusion regarding what you were saying, and it was that you think it's ok to just tell people they're fat. That's exactly what it read like.

Honestly, if I had to guess I'd say that it what you were trying to say until almost every response jumped down your throat about it calling you out on just enjoying being mean. But hey, you're the only one who knows what you actually meant and maybe this whole discussion has helped you see things from another perspective. One can hope.

[Tarvold]

LOL. I've read every response here, and no where near half of the comments misunderstood my meaning. Fat is a word that provokes strong emotion because people have become way too sensitive about it - hence the strong responses form the few, and which is the whole point of this take.

[GirlsLie]

The issue with him, isn't his writing, it's his ego and down right ignorance.

Words have meaning, if words didn't have meaning there would be no point in expressing ourselves.

I feel sorry for the people who agree with you, I don't care how many it is because you all need to learn to mind your own damn business when it comes to others appearance unless they ask you for advice.

It's insulting that you think the solution is so simple as shove water and vegetables in someone's face. I can almost bet that most people who over eat have emotional issues, it's still an eating disorder in my eyes.

And just like I don't jump at the opportunity to tell an anorexic or bulimic person "why don't you just eat" "stop being insecure about your weight and just eat".

People like you are looking for things to dislike about other to feel better about yourself and you've managed to convenience yourself that you have the answer to serious problems that others have and you don't.

[GirlsLie]

convince*

[LovelyyLaura]

What are you getting out of calling others fat? Yes we know it but that's not something you just tell someone. Take this for example, let's say I know you and you know me. let's say you've had a child for parent who has somehow died. We both know it but it's not necessary for me to bring it up. It just makes you feel bad in the end. Wow I didn't know how great the ignorance was. Just because someone is fat or big automatically makes them unhealthy. I know not so small people that eat healthier than a slim person would. Me myself, I'm on the heavier side and I like to say I eat right. I hardly ever drink soda or even eat burgers anymore for some years now. Back then I have and that's why I'm trying to lose the weight now. I'm comfortable with myself and I feel beautiful but yeah I know I could lose a few pounds. Not to be considered healthy or to be more beautiful but because I want my clothes to fit me better. You get me? just something like that. if someone is skinny or slim/thin, that doesn't automatically make them a healthy person either. There ar those skinny people with high metabolisms who eat a meal for 8 and don't gain a pound. Even if you are bigger that still doesn't give you the right to call someone fat. Just because you'reboth fat doesn't automatically makebghe other person feel better when someone calls them fat.

[Tarvold]

I'm not getting anything out of calling people fat, but something is being taken away from me when fat people randomly decides to take offence to the word "fat" and acts to stop society from using it. This isn't about being an asshole and going out to randomly fat shame. Just because I want to be able to use the word fat, doesn't automatically mean I also want to be tactless and crass.

[GirlsLie]

This again? really...

I'm just curious how you think so highly of yourself, that you think you should be the one calling "people out on being fat"? Your ego is the fattest fucking thing here.

People are sensitive to the word "fat" because people throw it around recklessly these days and the majority of that is towards women. Women who are still in a healthy weight range for their height and body type but not necessarily someones preference.

People are sensitive to that because they should be, it's giving women and men complexes, that's why every single 110lb girl on here is always asking "do I look fat?".

When will people understand that skinny doesn't necessarily mean healthy...

Even some of the fit people I know, eat all types of horrible food and a lot of it. I'm sure working out then stuffing your face full of junk food and pizza afterwards because you have a fast metabolism, isn't healthy either.

The only difference is, it's more pleasing to the eye and accepted, so you're under the assumption that they are healthy.

Being fat or obese should be glorified and I think being healthy should be promoted way more, in a positive way.

I just hate when people take upon themselves to dislike and single out a certain body type. Or promote only one type of body as the epitome of "healthy".

[GirlsLie]

shouldn't* be glorified, not should lol

[Tarvold]

First of all. By definition, there IS only one type of body that is the epitome of healthy. That's the Olympic athlete/Ronda Rousey body type. It's not a matter of opinion, it's just science.

Secondly, stop making this an issue about women. I certainly didn't.

Thirdly, having loved someone who was dealing with anorexia/bulimia for many years, unhealthy skinnyness is also a problem that I'm passionate about. However, if I bring that up here, then I will do neither topic justice.

Finally my point is this. I'm not saying that I'm going to go out there to fat shame. All I am saying is that I'm drawing a line in the sand and am no longer willing to shy away from the word "Fat" just because someone somewhere might be hurt by it.

[GirlsLie]

"MAJORITY of that is towards women." majority doesn't equal all. But you would be a fool to think women aren't held to higher standards as far as looks go.

You realize that when you come some where publicly, pretend to know about others health by simply their appearance. As well as singling out a specific group of people, it makes you look like a jerk off.

And how you've managed to convince yourself that it's better to some how be a know it all jerk off, instead of being over weight, is beyond me.

[Tarvold]

I don't need to pretend. If you are visibly fat, you're doing damage to your health. There's no assumption there. It's just science.

[GirlsLie]

You are singling out a specific group of people and pretending to know more about their health because it's more visible.

[Tarvold]

Yes. So?

If I see somebody with 3rd degree burn wounds going to take a sauna, I'd speak up too.

[GirlsLie]

There's a difference in speaking to people who are hurt and actually need or want your help, how do you know these people aren't actively getting help or in the process of losing weight already.

[Tarvold]

The same way that you just know that I'm an asshole - judgement and intuition (or lack thereof).

[GirlsLie]

I didn't go around looking and judging you, you openly expressed what a jerk off you were, one of the many differences between you and I, is I don't look for things to dislike about people.

[Tarvold]

No, you don't look for things to dislike about the people. But once something is there in your face, you can't shut up about it either, right?

[GirlsLie]

You dislike them because of their weight?

[Tarvold]

That's not at all what I said.

[GirlsLie]

Overweight people probably have emotional issues, I would assume, that contribute to their problem as well.

Pretending that you know how to fix their issue by calling them lazy or shoving some water and vegetables in their face is so conceited.

People like you are arrogant and need to get over yourselves and the fact that you think it's even needed to make a Mytake on the subject to even further insult them is a joke. If anyone is insecure, it's you, you need to talk down to people and single them out and you can claim that you don't do it in a rude way but your demeanor screams insecurity covered by arrogance. You're a hypocrite.

[Tarvold]

Read everyone else's comments. The only person here making up crap about people just to try and put them down is you.

[GirlsLie]

I don't read or care about others comments. You said those things yourself and i'm replying to them, I didn't make those up.

[Tarvold]

You are making the baseless assumption that I am assuming that fat people are insecure and lazy by default. If anything, the fact that I refuse to stop calling people fat is proof that I do not automatically assume that fat people are insecure by default.

[GirlsLie]

" They're fat! They're insecure about their fatness! It's not healthy for them, and it's not healthy for us to be around people who are so insecure that we need to mince our words around them"

Also how does that and this "I never understood how much somebody else weighs has anything to do with me." go together exactly.

[Tarvold]

Don't take my words out of context. I stated specifically at the beginning of that paragraph, "If they feel a bit hurt by it,...".

[GirlsLie]

Maybe they should feel bad that being fat is none of your business?

[BreatheMe]

Lmao. Ronda Rousey is not the epitome of healthy. Get your facts straight.

[GirlsLie]

I think she's beautiful though, even if I don't agree with that lol

[Tarvold]

I'm bored of this, @GirlsLie. Lets pick this up again when you've improved your literacy and reading comprehension.

[GirlsLie]

"So if this is something you're doing to yourself, why should the rest of us have to tip toe around your problem? If you're feeling insecure about it, then lets just call out the elephant in the room and deal with it."

"I never understood how much somebody else weighs has anything to do with me."

You think it's your place to call others out on something that even YOU stated was none of your business.

You're one to talk about literacy when you contradicted yourself in your own Mytake.

[NearlyNapping]

I agree that people should not have to tip toe around and be careful with their words. However you seem to be going too far the other direction. I suppose it's a matter of degree. I don't always use euphemisms like big, thick, large size, or even obese. I just say fat, because that's what it is. However I still try to be at least a little careful about it.

On the other hand, I refuse to go along with all the "fat is beautiful" or "love yourself the way you are", or it's "OK to be large" trend.

It is NOT OK to be fat. And I'm not going to tell anyone that. It would be a lie, and it would be doing them harm. They need to know that it's not OK. Lying to them and telling them it's OK is hurting them.

Obesity has taken the exact opposite route as smoking. Both are extremely bad for the health. As a matter of fact I'm completely convinced that being fat is worse than smoking. Not just fat alone, but the combination of the fat itself, poor diet, and lack of exercise all combine into something extremely unhealthy.

The campaign against smoking was the opposite of what we see with fat. The anti-smoking campaign put tremendous pressure on smokers. Much of that pressure was by making them social outcasts. I've seen young children walk up to smokers and give them shit about it - with their parents standing there watching and not saying a thing about it, because the parents actually approved. If a kid did that with a fat person, the parent would be all over it telling the kid out rude it is.

The point is that the anti-smoking campaign WORKS. It puts pressure on smokers and doesn't let up. It bombards them with the grossest medical images of the effects of smoking. It taxes the heck out of them to drive prices sky high. It creates downright hostile environments. And it makes them social outcasts.

Yet with something that is also a lifestyle choice, and probably much worse for the health, we have a society that tells them it's OK.

IT IS NOT OK TO BE FAT

[Tarvold]

Thank you. I didn't think of the analogy with smoking and that's a very good point.

[aniemist]

I don't think its a bad thing to let people know they are heading towards or are already very unhealthy, you don't have to mince words either, but I also don't think you should be a jerk about it , I'm not saying you are being one mind you.

I'm trying to lose weight myself and honestly I have hard time remaining disciplined at times. I think that for some people it is simple, while for others they have a harder time at self control, these bad habits can be hard to break.

What keeps many of the more weaker willed with the bad habits from succeeding are the circumstances of their life. Their whole lifestyle (like eating about a lot on the run because they are busy, too lazy, or don't know how to cook just as a few examples) can have profound impact on whether they succeed. I know because this is what I'm battling right now trying to change the circumstances and and gain better habits.

I want to caution you about those who are sensitive to be called about on being overweight, especially if you are being mean about it. You don't want to walk on eggshells around them, but its important that you realize the actual impact your words may have. If you make them feel bad about being fat you might just be adding fuel to the fire, overeating junk is often a way people deal with the stresses in their life and you maybe just be pushing them in that direction, rather than the one you intended.

I think you are trying to do a good thing, and wanted you to give you my point of view since I am in the position of needing to make myself healthier. I think if you tell the people around you who are more overweight in a reasonable way they will be more receptive, even more so if you are willing to be supportive and helpful towards them.

[Tarvold]

Thank you. That was a very insightful response. I think you understood my intention that wasn't to go out there and be mean for the sake of being mean, but rather just stop mincing words in fear of bruising egos. Your point that this may end up pushing people who are using food as an escape further into their darkness is a good one. Anyway, good luck with your goals.

[lemonlimetime]

Mm... I agree to some points. Except definitely not this one- that your fat because you don't want to stop being fat. I can EASILY deny this. Coming from a family where about half of us have an extremely slow metabolism I can safely say that people aren't always fat because they eat crap and don't exercise. I lucked out and got my father's genes in this part but my sister and my mother both have an extremely slow metabolism, yet they eat better than anyone in our family (especially me) and work out quite often. My sister, who is overweight (sorry regardless of what you say I'm not comfortable calling someone fat) and she eats healthy, works out, plays a crap ton of sports (swimming, soccer, basketball, dance, and a lot more) and yet she's still overweight. Same thing with my mother. The doctor even said the only way you're going to effectively lose weight is if you either go on a diet where you eat close to nothing or get surgery (which she got surgery). Not all obese people have an unhealthy lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

I do agree that people tend to be too damn sensitive. However, I also don't believe that you don't like putting others down. Being in shape and being fat isn't as cut and dry as you make it out to be. Granted, yes, eating healthily and eating unhealthily will give you a greater chance at being healthy and unhealthy respectively, but it is not that cut and dry. Someone could work out a hell of a lot, eat healthy but have some sort of syndrome that makes their body store more fat than it should. Same thing with some people who appear to be healthy and in shape but only eat junk food. A person that is overweight could be healthier than a person that is "in shape". Their outward appearance may say otherwise, but their blood pressure, organs and whatnot are what determine if someone actually is healthy.

Also, for those that say you aren't an asshole and you're just saying what it is. No, you are an asshole. Unless someone is talking to you and is telling you that they aren't fat and they are big boned, or some other bullshit, then there is no reason for you to call them out and tell them that they're fat. They know they're fat. Many may even know how to eat healthy and how to workout to lose that fat and become healthy. . . they just choose not too. If they choose to eat junk and be fat because of it, then that is their choice. And calling them out on being fat just because you "want them to be healthy" makes you an asshole. It's not your life, so why do you care if they are healthy or unhealthy? You don't actually care, you just like putting others down.

The only time someone is fat and they aren't talking to you about their weight and you won't be an asshole for stating such is if they're using government food stamps to pay for their junk food. Then, I think you have a say since your tax money is going to support their lifestyle. And I think you should have a say in how your tax money is spent. Otherwise, no.

[Tarvold]

I think whether I am an asshole or not predicates upon whether I just randomly walk up to fat people to tell them that they're fat. This I don't do.

I even avoid giving unsolicited advice unless it's a very close friend, because I try to maintain good manners.

But! (Here's the part you'll like). Give me the smallest invitation to speak my mind, and I'll jump onto it. And you're right, sometimes it does feel good to get things off my chest. Does this still make me an asshole? Probably. But an ethical one that at least tries to maintain good manners.

[Anonymous]

I'm not fat but I do feel for people who struggle with weight issues. The reason being, I have family members who eat like pigs, all kinds of junk food all day long, and they're completely skinny. No matter how much they eat, they're skinny. And others, who eat one forth of that and get fat. So it's not as simple as it may seem.

One thing that I don't get is why the weight issue is something so many feel the need to shame, when people do all kinds of unhealthy things every day. They smoke which is ruining their health and body, they get over-stressed which can lead to a heart attack, yet no one is shaming those people. No one is telling smokers that they're disgusting, or judging stressed out people for not meditating or something to calm themselves down. There are so many unhealthy habits people have, that no one seems to mind. And so many different addictions (from addictions to alcohol to porn to gambling etc.) yet addiction to food is the one everyone is disgusted by. That's why I don't buy this nonsense that it's because people are concerned with others' health and well-being - if that were the case, they'd be concerned with all the other issues too.

[Tarvold]

I think you just have a bias towards being more sensitive to fat talk than other vices. There's no stigma against people who talk openly about helping gambling addicts. There's no such thing as alcoholic shaming. People we welcome to openly admit that they will not kiss or date smokers. We're even allowed to publicly advertise cars that were not previously owned by smokers and charge a higher price.

Tell me, which of these can we do with regards to the topic of fat and obesity? If you think society treats these vices as equals, then try putting up an ad for a chair on ebay, proclaiming that it's never been sat on by a fat person so the foam is in good condition.

What I'm saying here isn't even going that far. It's all in the title. We shouldn't shy away from calling people who are indeed fat, fat. Even the first step of AA is to admit that they are alcoholics. To say that we are focusing on fat, whilst ignoring all the others is just untrue.

[Hannah591]

It's not luck to be skinny. You might see people eating like pigs or going to the fast food restaurants but you don't know the rest of their lifestyle and their diet. That might be a cheat day and the rest of the time, they eat less and healthier.

[Anonymous]

I was one of those in denial people about my weight. Definitely wasn't my parents fault, I was going through a really bad depression after the death of a friend and ate those feelings right up, but it was never anyone calling me fat or a pig or whatever that got me up and going. It was those people who came to me and were like let's get healthy together or let's go to the gym together or I know a friend who can help you with your diet. People actually invested in wanting me to do well vs. those who made snide remarks. However, I have to totally agree that we are enablers, a lot of us. We refuse sometimes to even suggest that someone needs to get healthy and lose weight so they won't die. I mean if your loved on is 250lbs and is 5'1, they need some major help and not acknowledging it like an intervention could be helping them get towards the grave. I mean, you can't lose weight for them, but also taking them to McDonald's everyday to buy them a burger, would be like giving a beer to an alcoholic.

[Tarvold]

Thanks for sharing your story.

[JuicyBrain]

You know what? We've largely solved the problem on how not to be an asshole. You just don't seem like someone who really wants to stop. I feel entitled in telling you that you are an asshole though in the hope that you will change your ways. Even if you don't really want to hear it, I am gonna tell you anyway because, well, you're an asshole.. And it's even easier to not be an asshole than it is to lose weight ! It SHOULD be easy for you ! I'll give you a trick. If you ever feel like insulting someone who is fat (or anybody really) and you are unsure how it will be taken, then don't say anything. It's not you who is fat anyway...

And if you think that telling people they're fat is helping them somehow losing that fat than you're not just an asshole, you're also stupid. Hey, I'm only telling you this to help you be less stupid...

Ahhh I feel better now that I feel like I helped someone !
You can thank me later !

[Tarvold]

Thank you. If nothing else, that was actually kinda funny.

[JuicyBrain]

I actually didn't mean it half as insulting as it sounds. I just thought I would show you how it feels to people when you think that you are "helping" them by insulting them on their weight. I know some of them are asking for the truth and it's ok to give them, but there is a way you can tell them the truth without being an absolute asshole. Them asking for people's opinion is certainly not a carte blanche to insult them. And I have never seen someone deliberately asking to be belittled and discouraged. These people need support and encouragement, not people laughing or insulting them. They do that to themselves more than enough...
This opinion/comment is not targeted specifically at you but to all the fat shamers out there who feel entitled to treat fat people as inferiors and who think they are fair game. Don't take it too personally, you're not the worst of them.

[Tarvold]

I know. I got what you meant. It's all good.

[yourwaifu]

I think it's not okay to call people fat because they already know it and it hurts but for me it's okay to tell them to lose weight or eat less, I hate it when they complain or get sad about other people losing weight but not them! I mean if you wanna lose weight then don't eat that much! I lost 34 kg with 13! Because I was so fat, so if a 13 year old little girl can lose weight I won't take "it's so hard not to eat" from an adult.. honestly I rather diet for a few months than stay fat for the rest of my life! Exceptions are people who got some kind of disability to lose weight but the rest 99% shouldn't look for excuses

[Tarvold]

Ok, lets clarify something. Making fun of somebody with a real disability that they can't fix is really really bad, and I'll never condone it.

But now... about that first point you made... so it's not ok for me to call people fat, but it's ok for you to call people fat?

[yourwaifu]

Nooo lol I meant it's okay for me (in my opinion) it's okay to tell them to lose weight but not insult them, not for me as an exception! I'm sorry :)

[CHARismatic110]

There's just one thing tho...

NOBODY ASKED YOU!

Who do you think you are? Nobody said you had to tiptoe around anything but you damn sure don't need to be an asshole about it. Especially if your opinion was not wanted. Newsflash: fat people are well aware that they are fat. They don't need you or anyone else to tell them.

I'm considered fat and I've lost over 40 lbs. But guess what? You wouldn't be able to tell that because YOU DONT KNOW ME. Just like you don't know every fat person you see. Nobody likes a captain obvious.

[Tarvold]

You're right. I don't know you, and you didn't ask me, so I'm not going to call you fat for no reason.

But if you post one of those "how do I look?" questions, I won't hold back.

[CHARismatic110]

Yay me 😒

[Ashley34]

Why are you so concerned about other people's weight? Coming from someone who was overweight as a child due to the food and portion sizes that my parents fed me it's not so easy just to loose the weight. Yes I was able to lose it at but at only 12 years old it was extremely difficult especially when my parents still kept all the unhealthy food in our house. I'm not saying how this is how everyone got overweight bc every fat person has a different story however you have no right to judge them when you've never been in their shoes. For all you know you could lose your fast metabolism or break a leg and not have a way to workout anymore and become fat so be careful who you put down you could easily become to be in their shoes

[Hannah591]

He's talking more about having to refrain from being honest about someone's weight because in this society, that's an outrage. He's not judging them, he just wants the double standard to stop and I agree. Numerous times I've been in awkward positions when it comes to people's weight and I've had to refrain from saying that it's because of their weight that they've got a health problem. Usually they can work it out themselves but honestly, some people are in total denial.

[Tarvold]

@Ashley34 Actually, I have been in their shoes. A few years ago I finally caught chicken pox. It turns out that chicken pox can be fatal at my advanced age. Anyway, after 3 weeks of lying down on my back, I became *gasp* fat! Guess what? I had great friends around me who weren't shy to talk about my health, and they accompanied me to two months of bikram yoga in an effort to help me lose the extra weight.

Just because something a difficult topic is being discussed, doesn't mean that there is malicious intent behind it. Sweeping random topics under the carpet because it's the politically correct thing to do of the moment helps no one.

[Ashley34]

@Hannah591 yes some people are in completely denial but a number of them aren't. I don't understand why someone would want to call someone fat when there are better alternatives to the word such as overweight. Just like when someone isn't the prettiest person it would be better to call them unattractive instead of straight up ugly

[Ashley34]

@takeowner that is completely different. In my opinion if I had friends or family members comment on how I was gaining weight then I would have no problem with them because I know that they are looking out for my best interest. However you making an article about how random people are fat and you will call them fat regardless not only is that not support but that's bullying. You don't know their story or their situation. It is completely different for a friend or family member to call you "*gasp* fat" compared to some stranger.

[Tarvold]

Let's be clear. No where in the take did I say that it's ok to randomly walk up to a stranger and call them fat.

[Ashley34]

Then who are you calling fat? If it's friends or family members that's a completely different situation and not even worth making a take about to me

[Derpyy]

Officially, according to the whole weight and height formula, I am fat even though most people who don't know me would swear I wasn't just by looking. I call myself fat cuz I am. It helps me cope for when some random person calls me it, thinking they can hurt me. People, EVERYONE, needs to stop whining and grow some thick skin because not everyone is going to catee to your semi unique mindsets.
I work on my weight when I can, but hey life's busy. That being said, I do not shy away from calling someone fat. Especially if they asked my opinion on it (I will cut you with my honesty). I don't have to not be fat to call someone else fat. Same with being skinny. "What gives you the right to call them fat?" The fucking first Amendment. What gives all the girls on this site the right to call almost every slightly optimistic guy here a perv or creep? The very same amendment. EVERYONE get off your high horses.

I await my downvotes with wearily apathetic resignation.

[Tarvold]

Thank you. That's pretty much exactly my point.

[Derpyy]

You're very welcome. Rest assure that at least one gal understands AND agrees with your view on this.

[GirlsLie]

You two act like you've discovered something that no one else knows about, by calling yourself or others fat, congratulations you're a genius.

You're awesome for going against the majority here, you know it's a very rare thing, to see people who are fat, actually think they are fat, that never happens... I was under the impression that fat people, thought they were thin.

I commend you two, you're doing amazing, really unique personalities you have, keep it up, the world isn't already full of people just like you.

[Derpyy]

The sarcasm is strong with this one. Even though it appeared that it was waning by the second paragraph, it came back full throttle by the third. There are many out there who serious do not even consider themselves as fat and so they do nothing and become even more dangerously closer to serious health issues.

And you're right. I am an amazing person. I do have a unique personality. I don't come on this site to asking for advice. I am mainly here to give people help and support and maybe, just maybe help more people be more open-minded. I've already seen success with both efforts.
It isn't as if you actually know me or have spoken to me personally to find this out, but congrats on somehow deducing this!

Really, this whole comment just seems rather a antagonistic and pointless. But then that's if it even WAS sarcasm... If not (which I doubt)... Then thank you very much! :B

[GirlsLie]

There is a difference in knowing and labeling yourself and randomly doing it to others like he is doing. He's blatantly calling people who could suffer from an eating disorder or emotional issues "lazy" and "insecure" and instead of recognizing this, he's adding to the problem.

[Tarvold]

@GirlsLie I resent the baseless assumptions you make about me. If you want to criticize me for something that's based on facts, then fine, but if you are going to continue making shit up and spreading it everywhere, then we have a problem.

[GirlsLie]

The baseless assumptions? do you think over weight people enjoy having the assumption that they're insecure and lazy made about them. If you don't like it then don't do it yourself, it's that easy.

[Derpyy]

Ugh, just end this so I can stop getting notifcations. I got what you meant, Asker. And good luck to staying true to yourself, as will I.

[equiiaddict]

I agree to a point. I do think our society is way too sensitive about everything, especially the issue of weight. I also hate how really big girls try to claim that they're "curvy." No, just no. Having curves is completely different from having rolls! There is nothing wrong with being bigger, I do believe that beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. But stop trying to claim you're something that you're not.
But I hope you aren't going around telling people that they're fat either, that's just rude and there's no reason for that type of behavior.

[Anonymous]

okay so you know how some skinny people can eat all they want, barely exercise, and STAY skinny? Well it's the same with some fat people. My uncle is one of those people, he used to eat junk food all the time, never exercise or anything. Now, he eats healthy, exercises regularly, and watches his weight. he's been doing this for about three years now. How much weight has he lost? Maybe 5 lbs.
And yeah, they can get liposuction, but they also run the risk of DYING when they do.
That being said, there are still a lot of overweight people who DON'T eat healthy or exercise, and there are still a lot of skinny people who DO eat healthy and exercise.

[dartmaul15]

it's simple.
energy in - energy out = weight change. If it's positive you're gainig weight, and if it's negative you're loosing weight. if it's even you're maintaining your weight.

Just becuase it's possible, doesn't mean it's easy. And for all you know, some of ths kinny fit people can have A REALLY fucking hard time doing even basic math! We all got our problems and and struggles. OVERCOME them instead of complain about them!
Because you can. It's just harder for some, and some problems are more apparent than others (like obesity).

And keep in mind it's harder to loose weight than to stay in shape.

Oh, and just one thing. might want to ensure he gets ENOUGH fat. yes, that's right, you need fat. You need some of the stuff in fat so the body can make use of carbs an other stuff, so without fat the body will just add all kinds of carbs as body fat. And that's no good XD

[Tarvold]

Yeah. I know. When I was young, I was one of those skinny people who could eat a whole cow and not gain any weight after. These days, I eat a packet of doritos and I'll see it in my abs the next day. Both side sucks - being naturally skinny attracts a lot of hate from fat people, whilst being fat is just depressing and unhealthy. It is what it is, but what it is is a problem that's not impossible to solve.

[Hannah591]

I liked this take and I agree with you. If people can call me skinny and tell me to eat more, I can tell them they're fat and need to eat less. I don't know why its turned into a double standard. Sometimes making someone aware of how big they've gotten can give them the drive to want to lose weight. It's not insulting to call someone out on their weight, especially if they don't realise just how big they are. This tip toeing needs to be ended!

[Tarvold]

You've managed to articulate my point much more elegantly than I did. Thanks!

[CottonMuffin]

Yeah, Let's just offend everyone. That would help.

[JuicyBrain]

Is it fat people calling you skinny? If fat people are calling you skinny, then alright, call them fat. If you are giving your opinion to someone who didn't ask for it, then one day, you'll find someone who will make you regret it and you will have owned it.

[GirlsLie]

So instead of standing up for people not judging anyone's weight at all, you choose to be a part of the problem? You're upset that people tell you that you're too skinny and need to eat, so you call other's fat? You're exactly what you hate and you're being sucked into doing something that you know makes you feel bad personally. No one should comment on anyone elses appearances, it's equally as wrong either way.

[Hannah591]

@JuicyBrain The guy was fairly thin, but three quarters of the room were heavily overweight and they agreed with him. So I had a whole room of people telling me to eat more and I found it amusing tbh because I knew if I told them they need to eat less, all hell would break loose because of the double standard which the take owner is describing. I wouldn't just approach a random person and say "you're fat" but if they complain about health problems and seem oblivious to the fact that the health problem is directly caused by their weight, then I should be able to tell them that without them taking immediate offence. They're happy to dish it out against a perfectly healthy weighted person but then not receive it.

[Hannah591]

@GirlsLie There is no problem and I never said once about being a part of anything. It's about the double standard. Why is it offensive to point out that someone is overweight in a considerate manner, not an insulting one, but it's socially accepted for them to tell me to eat less or that I'm a stick when I'm actually a perfect weight for my age and height? I never said it upset me nor did it make me feel bad. I'm not going to feel bad about being healthy. I would like people to tell me if I had gained weight because I know it can go unnoticed, but overweight people are the most sensitive and defensive people. People take offence to everything nowadays, that's mine and the take owners point. I believe people should comment on someone's weight out of concern for them. Obviously not approach a random person but telling someone you know well that you're worried about their weight.

[JuicyBrain]

If people call you skinny when you didn't ask for their opinion, then tell them what you think. Just don't call people fat randomly without being asked is all I am saying... Also the fact that people sometimes ask for people's opinion is not carte blanche to just be rude. It can be done with class.

[Hannah591]

@JuicyBrain I never once said I would say it randomly or rudely.

[JuicyBrain]

Never said you did... I was only clarifying my opinion.

[Hannah591]

static.damnlol.com/.../...56bf4f2b3d1322d2fb8f.jpg #fatdenial

[GirlsLie]

I never once said it was ok either way, I actually said the opposite. Do you know how many times women on here get called fat and they're also in a healthy weight range for their height? It happens all of the time and it shouldn't be accepted either way.

I'm not offended by every little thing, I just think people are inconsiderate and for whatever reason they think someone elses weight is their business. And it makes me sad to see people, especially women constantly having this comparison battle with each other, it makes them look like a joke.

[Klaatu51]

this pic isn't always accurate bro sorry... i eat burgers, fries very often and i drink soda (i drink soda daily, every morning)... and i'm skinny as fuck

so i prove yer pic wrong ;p

[Tarvold]

Hahaha... lucky you. Be careful when you get a bit older and your metabolism slows down though, but enjoy it while you can.

[Sara413]

Evert person who's written here that they are skinny but have a terrible diet, you've not lectured about their health and even told this guy to enjoy it while he can. Yet, you claim your wanting to call people fat is about health. It so very clearly isn't. It's about appearances. You just don't like seeing fat people. You don't give a fuck about their health. If you did, you'd be lecturing all the skinny unhealthy people posting here about their bad habits.

[Klaatu51]

@Sara413 ummm... i hardly get sick... and never had any health probs lately :|

[Sara413]

Yeah but your diet is unhealthy and will likely lead to health problems down the road. My point was that if we're strictly talking about being healthy, you're no healthier or unhealthier than a fat person with the same diet.

[Anonymous]

You've got some real balls for posting this man. Unfortunately society has become way too self-centered to the point that they feel they have cast away standards of all kinds, decency, health, morality you name it. We embrace mediocrity. Screw striving for success and achieving positive goals, everyone should be happy right where they are! (sarcasm).

By the way nobody wants to be fat. Any fat person would wish away their fatness if they could. But they're just too discouraged or frankly too lazy to change their lifestyle into a healthier one, which is how losing weight and being fit works. So in an effort to continue to serve their own selfish interests, they "embrace" their fatness and society makes it socially unacceptable to criticize unhealthy lifestyles. Because people deserve to make shitty decisions without being criticized for it. (more sarcasm).