There are unfortunately many dangers facing women and girls on the streets of Britain such as rape, gang, rape, assault, stabbings, acid attacks, stalking, robbed, kidnapp and murder. Obviously if your a White Queen like me you've no intention of hiding indoors but would rather continue to live your life. So here is some advice on how to stay safe.
1. Learn Self-defence
Self-defense isn't about knocking the crap out of someone who annoys you when out and about or about living in fear or anticipating an attack. It's about taking control of your own safety since, unfortunately, we don't live in eden just yet. There are many self-defence classes some are useful while some are nonsense, like one class I took actually told us that if attacked by a rapist to pee ourselves to discourage him, I would think that would if anything just encourage him. I've been taking judo since I was young and there's a lot of techniques in judo that can allow a short light girl such as myself to use an attackers bodyweight and strength against them, I'm a realist, I'm not going to be able to overpower some 200llb guy but maybe I will be able to do enough to escape or tire my attacker out which is what my sensei teaches, judo has a lot of ground techniques that can help a girl protect herself if put onto the ground and pinned there by an attacker, she can inflict pain or frustrate an attacker into giving up. I saw a great women's self defence course on YouTube run Gracie Jujitsu tgat looks really good though it's only on in America I think. I would also recommend a martial art over some of the women's self defence courses that are taught. Something like karate, boxing, taekondo, jujitsu, MMA or Sambo. (My fella is big into Sambo & mma). A lady guest instructor who came into teach the girls in my judo class advised us " ladies if you get attacked don't try to be something your not. 9 times out of 10 your both weaker and smaller than your attacker, most men are just too big and strong. So fight dirty. Do whatever you have to do. Use your nails around the eyes, grab anything you can get your hands on, continue to fight no matter what to dissuade your attacker from continuing, don't stop. Remember techniques you've been taught and train hard in them so that they are 2nd nature."
2. Good Cardio
Yes I'm ripping this off that film Zombieland film but this is good advice if you think about it. The best self defence for a girl is running away and the ability to run fast for long periods can help keep you safe as men are naturally faster, with more stamina and longer strides than women so being able to run to quickly to a public area is so important, running away has saved me in the past as I was being chased by a group of Pakistani men that were harrassing me, fortunately some of those men are now in jail for certain crimes and luckily wasn't one of their rape victims. I ran to the club I was working that night and the followed close behind, I pointed them out to my fella who was working the door that night and he and some of the other bouncers gave them a beating. I reccomend doing as I do, wear high heels but keep a pair of flats or trainers if you have to walk home.
3. Have a male escort.
Many won't like me saying this but a woman is less likely to be attacked if she is with her father, husband, boyfriend or brother. Well that's what I've found at least. Men that are looking to harm women are usually cowards and other men are a threat to them so it's not worth their effort and other women who wish to do you harm don't want to tangle with you if there's a man with you. My fella walks me home at night when I'm working in the club.
4. The buddy system, or safety in numbers.
Walking alone at night or more and more on the streets of Britain can be very dangerous so walking with a friend or a group of friends can be enough of a deterrent for most violent thugs.
5. Carrying a weapon.
The laws in Britain are very clear on weapons for self defence and that is you are not allowed any. So that's no guns, tazers, pepper spray, batons, knives and anything else for the use of self defence or even carrying them. Im not a solicitor so don't quote me in a court of law but I think keeping even household objects such as hammers, bats, knives specifically as a weapon to be used in self defence is seen as a premeditated act to use a weapon to assault someone but I think there's a loophole in that if your not carrying a weapon for self defence but happened to use something for self defence that you had use of in your everyday life such as a tradesman and a hammer or in my case a hockey stick when I return from hockey practice. Somebody explained to me that I should be fine legally provided I carry a hockey ball if I need to used my hockey stick for self defence but honestly I'd rather face any legal consequences than get gang raped or stabbed.
6. Don't dress too sexually provocatively.
I'm sure I will get a lot of hate for daring to suggest this but it's true, some people have an odd attitude towards rape and sexual assault where no means yes if she wears the wrong clothes. I know I certainly get a lot more make attention when I show a little bit of leg or clevage but the sad truth is that in Britain many men see women who dress sexually provocative as asking to be raped and many come from a culture where raping a girl is normal if she's unescorted by a male relative or husband and dressed less modestly. Withthe mindset that if she's allowed to dress like this then there's no one that cares about her and no one that will care if something bad happens to her, this is just a sad fact and dressing provocatively does paint a target on your back for any creep or weirdo. Of course women can still get raped no matter what we wear and a girl can look attractive even if she's not dressed sexually provocative. Then there's the question of what constitutes dressing sexually, even what one person considers modest attire maybe risque to others.
7. Vigilance in pubs& clubs.
If your like me and love to be out in a club or pub chatting to friends, having crack'n banter with who ever and dancing all night it can be easy to forget yourself in the moment and be oblivious to what is happening around you, often some shady stuff and often some predators are lurking for an easy target.
A few years ago I went to a club with my sister (underage of course not that it matters) well anyway I was dancing all night and was absolutely buzzing. A Pakistani guy asked to buy me a drink to which I politely refused as I already had a glass of club orange at our table and he was a stranger and kinda creepy and forceful. While the girls were up dancing I was talking to a friend at our table watching the handbags and drinks, well this guy came over again hitting on me and I wasn't intrested and let him know and still he wouldn't stop until my friend told him to "f*ck off". Well that was fine, I drank my drink and went back to the dance floor and that's about as much as I remember. My sister said she saw me looking wobbly (which was odd because i dont drink) from the 2nd floor stairs of the club where she was chatting to her ex and the same Pakistani guy came up from behind me and grabbed my arm moving me towards the exit door of the club, as if I was his girlfriend who had too much to alcohol to drink and he was taking me home, well that's what he told the club's bouncers when they stopped him after my sister told a bouncer what was happening, at this stage I could hardly stand or speak and didn't know where I was. I was taken to hospital and had to get my stomach pumped because they'd no idea what or how much he'd given me, I couldn't speak and couldn't move and I was told it was Rohypnol that he spiked my drink with when he had come over to our table, I dont know how I missed it. He got charged with it and was bound over for it with no jail time. I used to still see him almost everyday coming from the local mosque, he's now in jail for rape. Now if I have a drink in a club or pub I never set it down, i never take drinks from strangers(not that I ever did) and if I leave a drink unattended I never drink it. This was far far too scary and far to close a call. My parents have me he'll for being in a club at my age and for not being more careful but they were glad also that nothing happened to me.
Well I dont drink alcohol really, my experience is with being spiked but there are many predatory guys looking to take advantage of girls who drink too much, so I would advise any girl not to get get blacked out drunk.
One thing to watch is guys who have a bit too much to drink or are just butthurt at getting shot down, they can get aggressive or violent if they embarrassed or rejected after hitting on a girl which kind of leaves a girl with the dilemma of whether to shut them down right away which may anger them or try to turn them away in a nice gentle way that cushions the blow which may just encourage them either way may result in them waiting outside the club or pub for you at closing time or following you home.
There's also a thing that's started recently in clubs where a large group of men surround a girl or girls trapping them and the inner men grope her/them while the others provide cover on the outside as though nothing was happening, if it is allowed to continue it can only have one possible conclusion.
Another thing is to watch out for women. With ladette culture being so prevalent with women acting less like ladies and more like lads women are now drinking as much as guys and can be just as aggressive and violent when drunk. Unlike guys women today are less restrained when it comes to being violent espicially when drinking or taking drugs. Usually it jealously or some imagined slight, it's not uncommon in a club bathroom to see girls gang up on another or one girl swinging another around by the hair or outside the establishment. Girls are more likely to throw bottles or glasses, a common thing now is to strike with a stiletto high heel. Sometimes even jabbing a bouncer or girl with a needle then the bouncer has to get an std check. Anyway it's something to watch for.
8. Carry a rape whistle
I know what your thinking, "what is help will a rape whistle be?". Well maybe some maybe none but if you make enough noise you may discourage a rapist or at the very least signal others that you need help.
9. Carry a mobile phone.
This is a must, if you get in trouble you can call the police or phone somebody to let them know what is happening say if you being intimidated by an aggressive person or followed. Merely talking on the phone to someone may deter an attacker.
10. Be vigilant
Be aware of your surroundings ie people, the area and the time of day. Don't be wrapped up in your own thoughts with you headphones on listening to music or playing candycrush that's a recipe for disaster and sure you don't deserve to be attacked but your certainly an easy target to be punched in the face and robbed. You're most vulnerable when you aren't aware of your surroundings, so take out your headphones, look up from your phone, and know where you are. By demonstrating you're alert, aware, and ready for anything, you're less of an "easy target" for would-be attackers in the first place.
11. Seek help- scream for it.
If you don't have time or are unable to call 999 yourself, you need to get attention from someone who can. If you need "help," yell and scream the word "help." If it's attempted rape yell "RAPE", shout "call 999", do whatever you can to grab people's attention.
12. Avoid internet dating
Just my advice. The thing about internet dating is that you don't know what weirdo is on the other end. He could fabricate an entire fiction about who he is and you won't realise until it's too late. No better to verify dates before dating them.
13. Body language& eye contact
You can deter attackers by non verbal communication of you body language. Walking confidently with your shoulders back and your head up rather than being hunched over looking at the ground, making eye contact is a way to show any potential attacker that you are not only aware of them but not afraid of them. You should always meet others gaze when out and about rather than shyly and meekly looking away. If people think You a victim they will treat you like one.
14. Try to desculate.
Try to desculate a situation where a violent attack is likely to happen, this is often not possible but certainly it's better to avoid being hurt if the situation gets out of hand. Often in fights a person will keep goading and harrassing another until something happens. Best to walk away if you can, after all words are just words. Trying to desculatea situation also looks really good in court if you had to defend yourself.
16. Avoid public places where you may find yourself alone with predators.
This one speaks for itself, these vile pieces of of human excrement can be found in or outside almost anywhere, trains, public libaries, bus stations, pubs, clubs and so on best not to risk it. Likely you will have heard where not to go. Where I live there's a place where a Pakistani rape gang hangs out, best to avoid at all cost if alone.
15. Use your common sense.
Common sense is so important and a great tool. So much of what I mention on this my take comes down to employing common sense. Important common sense aspects of self-defense that can deter an attack such as simply being aware of your surroundings, making eye contact with others, pay attention to what's going on around you and if you have a weird feeling in your gut or if the hairs on the back of your neck stand up then really pay attention to your intuition.That feeling you get when someone is watching you, following you, or you generally feel unsafe ā listen to it! You feel it for a reason . A woman is most vulnerable when she is alone, not paying attention, with her headphones in and looking at a phone.She added, being drunk never helps.
Conclusion: Well that it from this White Queen, I'm sure there's plenty I missed out and you should feel free to comment on them. I hope this is helpful to my fellow White Queens on surviving the mean streets of Britain. Be safe out there.
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