I believe that being “nice” is simply an act. A nice person is nothing more than someone who pretends to be caring and respectful. Anyone, whether they are considered good or bad, can be nice. You could have murdered seven people, yet still be a nice person, as long as people perceive you that way.
Some kids playing nice.
So then, if being nice is considered an act, how do we describe benevolent people? Simple, we say that they are kind instead. What is the difference between someone who is nice and someone who is kind? A kind person is someone who is generous, caring and respectful all of the time. This is because kindness is a personality trait. Niceness is simply acting kind, since it is only done at certain times and with certain people.
My first realization that being nice was not as great as it sounds was when I heard guys online complaining. They wonder why others, specifically women, do not like them, despite being such nice individuals. I thought about why being nice was as great of a thing as it should be, if these guys were not enjoyed despite their niceness. I then remembered my mom always telling me to “act nice” to others. Act nice. I see the redundancy now. When I am being nice to others, I pretend that I care about them or like being around them, but I do not. It is something humans do to not hurt others feelings or be judged, and in some cases, to get others to like them. Being nice is not even a compliment when you think about it. How many times have you heard someone describe someone else as nice, especially at a funeral? I think almost everyone on the planet has been described as nice at one point. “You are a nice person”. Fan-freaking-tastic, so are 7 billion other people.
- Addressing these "nice guys" (and now "nice girls") I mentioned earlier, you really are not that much of a gentleman or that benevolent of an individual if you expect rewards for your generosity. Holding a door open for a girl or paying for her lunch doesn't make her obligated to like you, and complaining that your selfless deeds aren't getting you laid despite the fact you're so selfless doesn't make you a kind person either. My suggestion is to start actually being generous to others because it is the right thing to do, not because you want others to like you. Once you start legitimately helping others selflessly, seeking no repayment, people (and women) will enjoy you.
Another thing I have noticed is how everyone complains about “fake”, two-faced and hypocritical people. Nobody likes it when someone acts friendly to you but says mean things to others behind your back. All of these people are being nice to you, because niceness is simply acting as if you are their friend. They simply take off their masks when you are no longer in their presence. I have realized since becoming an adult that a good portion of my "friends" in high school were really just using me/pretending to like me. Two years ago, I had a friend who I considered to be a decent individual. She was funny, trustworthy, and most importantly, nice. We would talk very often and she would always greet me in the hallways of school. This sounds like a great friendship, except it turns out she hated my very soul and she thought I was a waste of space. I found out from other friends about how she kept saying bad things about me behind my back. It is not a great feeling when you tell others about how you enjoy your "friend" and they reply, "Wait, she's your friend? Dude, you don't even want to know the things she's said about you." I was in shock after this, mainly because of how nice she had been. This incident helped change my perception on people and how they really are. I could finally tell what the difference was between legitimately kind people and those who simply act like it.
In conclusion, being nice is a meaningless word. It states a temporary condition and is used commonly. If you are someone who wants to become a better, a kinder person, I suggest giving things away. Donating to others in any way is the best way to humble yourself and help you learn to be selfless/kind. It can be anything, donating clothes, volunteering, giving money to charity, or in my case: a little bit of all and blood donation. I still have not done much to help the world yet, but I am trying my best to learn and do more. Our biggest achievement in life is having a positive impact on others and the world around us. So go out there and help others by becoming a kind person!
Thank you for reading!
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