Do you guys pretend to be uninterested as a protective/defensive reason?

[Anonymous]

when I say pretend I mean just give off absolutely no signals that you like someone

(I know the guy I'm thinking of likes me so I'm a little confused)

[asdg12]

Well just as girls sometimes try to hide their feelings so do guys. Many people think guys are macho and will have the guts to go up to any girl and ask for a number but only a few guys have that type of confidence. I would like to say I'm confident but not as much as that. Every guy and every girl will show some signs of interests even if they are unaware they are doing so. It's just as to how subtle those signs are and if the person if able to pick up on them. Guys don't want to be rejected same as girls. People set up boundaries and defense shell because once that information is known they lose the control of what happens with that control. No one wants others to tell that person's crush how they feel. So yes guys, some guys pretend to be uninterested as a defensive barrier to help themselves maintain control.

[Asker]

Thanks, he really doesn't give any signals- except maybe when he is actually talking to me, he seems nervous (to the extent of forgetting what he studies..) but do you think he could intentionally not meet my gaze if he is scared?

[asdg12]

Well of course because he is interested and sometimes that staredown is too much to handle for someone.

[Zenith]

The answer is yes. Its probably because he's afraid of something like he doesn't know where this will go and he's afraid it will take him into territory he's never been in before. If that guess of mine is true, you might be able to make it easy on him by spending really casual time with him like challenge him to a video game contest. If he has fun, he'll become more comfortable, then you can move your relationship up to actual dating. Just remember to make it fun for him and leave the romance for a little later. As soon as he's comfortable, the romance will happen, probably much sooner than you imagine.

Good Luck

[Asker]

Thank you, I will try and do that.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

That's funny, because that's a girl game he's playing.

He's not into make up is he?

If you really believe he's into you then I guess go for him. Guys don't really do what you're describing, but if you really think he's playing, you can either quit him cause he's playing a game, or go for him and make him stop with the game playing.

[Asker]

I don't think its a game..if he is doing it I think it is because he is scared or something :/

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Ok, before we blow your ego up three times it's normal size, why would he be scared of you?

[Asker]

Haha, I don't think I'm blowing my ego up. in general I'm not a very confident person- I take your point about game playing though. even if he doesn't mean to be he is. I don't get much serious attention so I guess maybe I am jumping the gun.