I was on Black Twitter and there was a debate between black women and men about who has it worse and why black men are going to other races of women, and all the black men seemed to be blaming black women for having an attitude and they were the reason behind the failure of the black community and them being single mom's and not raising their kids right is the reason so many black men are getting shot. But in my opinion that seemed really one sided because from stats black women are doing or at least trying to do better. I read an article that said black women were the most educated group in the country including gender and race but still make only 64 cents to every $1 a white guy makes. So one girl pulled up this article.
"Tired of being the blame: What if Black Women Treated Black Men the Way They Treat Black Women"I read this and they have a point. Black men and men of all races seem to slander black women all the time and I wonder why guys hate them so much.
Do black men hate black women so much because they hate their own blackness so take it out on black women?
There is a "black twitter"? Isn't that rather racist?
You need to get some facts straight, because you are very wrong about some things. Black women have a much higher college attendance rate when compared to black men, but their distribution of educational attainment is lower than for men or women who are white or Asian. There is a greater percent of black women who drop out of high school than men or women, white or Asian. For comparing to Hispanics, one must split between American-born & immigrant-Cuba, and Immigrant-Central America, as those are very different groups so it is more complicated.
Personally, I know some highly educated black women who refuse to date black men. They dated and have married strictly white men. I do not know any black man that refuses to date black women; even the several who are married to white, Hispanic, and Asian women have said that is just how it turned out, not due to anything against black women.
I am white and have dated all races. I find it very difficult to find attractive black women that I enjoy spending time with. I have gone on quite a few first dates (that only requires being cute and no ghetto flags), but didn't waste time on seconds because our personalities don't fit. The only black women I have gone past a first date with are Africans, one from Kenya (partially raised in London) and one from Tanzania. I am chatting with a black American girl now who meets the cuteness requirement, but I don't have high expectations.
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I hear all the time black men saying they don't date black women. I've never heard of any black girl saying she'll never date black men. What do you mean by "no ghetto flags"? You sound racist, honestly.
I judge people by their character, not the color of their skin. I am the least racist person I have ever known.
That doesn't mean I don't make observations.
One of the women who refuses to date black men was my next door neighbor, another was her sister. They were adamant that they would only date white men. I have known others too, but I knew those two well. They grew up in a small town in Georgia and moved to majority white suburban California when they were in high school. I don't know if that makes a difference.
Ghetto has to do with class, not race. As it turns out, a whole lot of black people are low class ghetto. Other comparable low classes are trailer park trash and barrio. The flags are the disrespect that low class people have for others and themselves. Some flags, not necessarily for women, are saying "aks" and pants that are falling off. I usually only date women who are in or have been to college and I live in the suburbs, so it usually isn't a problem.
I don't care about skin color or hair within reason (shaving off half or weird colors is a bit of a turn-off, but that always goes along with a displeasing personality). Ebonics is merely a symptom of lack of education. I tend to not date anyone who is uneducated.
As I stated, the black women who I've dated for a bit are from AFRICA. They surely are not "whitewashed" and they surely are not light skinned.
I'm a racist for point out your racism? Ebonics doesn't mean uneducated. Its cultural. People can speak ebonics and still be educated. You sound a classist and a guy with a stick up his ass
Ebonics, cultural? You mean the part of the culture with a 80%+ birth out of wedlock rate, absent fathers, a 25% unemployment, the highest welfare rate of any group, 30% male incarceration rate, and responsible for over half the murders in this country? Sure, if you say so. I don't want to have anything to do with that culture. I will stick to exclusive association with black people that don't have that culture. I might live longer that way too.
So, we have established: 1. Your educational stats are wrong. 2. Your anecdotes have been countered. 3. Your presumption of my caring about skin color is wrong. 4. You believe being low class is acceptable behavior. 5. You have illustrated the stereotype ABW that so many men dislike.
As I said, I judge people by their character. I stand by that statement. I will also point out that class does not require wealth, so don't go down that argument.
I am not a racist, I have established that. I can't be an elitist, since I am not a liberal.
The percentages are estimates, and others may vary, but everything I wrote is true.
You wrote your question because you have some idea in your head and wanted the public to validate it. I will not validate wrong ideas. You weren't here to understand something, you just wanted someone to tell you your preconceived notions were right. Except, they are not.
You have aptly demonstrated why you find so few men (black or white) who want to date you. It isn't the color of your skin. It is your attitude. You are not alone, it turns out a lot of black women have your bad attitude. I don't date them. I date women who are sweet, kind, respectful, educated, and have class. That doesn't describe you from how you have presented yourself.
I'm not black, and no it goes deeper than it just it being black women's supposed attitude. Why is it always the women's attitude in question for why men don't date them. Based on stats, black women aren't the ones killing people in droves and murdering members of their community yet its always their attitude that's in question? Why not the attitude of black men?
It's not black women who are going on raping black men and causing psychological distress as well as physically harming them, but they're the ones with an attitude problem? You sound like an idiot honestly who knows nothing of reality and just parrots whatever you see online and claim it as facts of the black community. You are racist and its obvious are.
"Why is it always the women's attitude in question for why men don't date them." Are you seriously asking this question?
"black women aren't the ones killing people in droves and murdering" I didn't say they were. That IS part of that "culture" you proudly defended.
It is however women in that "culture" who spread their legs to all comers and aren't smart enough to know where babies come from.
"Why not the attitude of black men?' I personally don't date any men. The black women I know who refuse to date black men do so because of that so-called attitude of black men.
What is this "black community"? Every one of my black friends lives in a majority white community. Every one of them is highly educated, including a VP of a major corporation, a couple of MBAs, an operations manager of a large electronics facility, a professor, a software department manager, engineers, etc. Every one of them is also a Republican. They have more in common with me than anyone in the ghetto.
"He values only the black people who fit his white ideal. " If that means only those who are respectful, hard working, law abiding, and responsible, absolutely!
I do not value those who are lazy, criminal, disrespectful, violent, irresponsible, entitled, or involved with drugs. Race has nothing to do with it.
No. I'm a black man and hate is an easy word for black women to use. The issue between black men and black women is black women don't change period. Black Women want a thug who has the resources of a white collar man. Read anything about black men who critize black women and you'll see a dozen articles about everything wrong with black men, and how a black man who loves anyone but a black woman is weak and less manly. Black Women call it self hate but the truth is black women don't love us, you beat us as children, talk down to us as adults and fund Tyler Perry who is the biggest stereotype producer ever.
If you want us to love black women more then here's some advice: 1) Don't date thugs! they will beat on you. they will cheat on you. they will leave you. 2) Don't beat your kids and call it discipline because a man who beats a woman is not disciplining her. 3) Learn to check your hood friends. If your friend is a loud, gum popping, hateful person tell her to cut the bs or leave her alone. No Black man wants to approach a black woman who's friend is going to break his window over an argument you had a week ago. 4) Look for a good man while young. If you are willing to stand by your man then men will become loyal to you. don't expect to find a good man at 45. 5) Be willing to date other races to find your type of man. I've read some articles that say Asian men would love to date black women but they aren't given a chance. Black men may not be for you.
Black twitter? this is laughable seriously... Not the black men i know, this is all bull no black men do not hate black women, how can you hate from which you came forth from? the media and society say all kinds of rubbish just to divide and conquer, just another falsity to degrade and put the black man as well as the black women down, what next, if a black man dislikes a black woman be sure there is probably a good reason behind it, there are white men who can't stand their own white women and prefer black women we too contray to popular beliefs have our admires, white women are not the only standard of beauty there is, none of this matters to a black sister who is sure in herself don't portray black women as victims they are not, it's strange how black women are said to be the least attractive, that is another lie, black is always and will be beautiful regardless of how many disses, in order for someone to hate and disrespect black women so strongly they must posess something very special, everything that is said here could also apply to white women they are single moms in the white race, there are very unattractive white women with bad attitudes, and lastly it is not your skin color or the color of your eyes that makes a person great or better it is the contents of your heart that outshines everyone else, bad attempt and epic fail trying to lower black women, all of this does not wash with me anyway i know who i am and it ain't none of what this proganda states.
A lot of black guys I know say they don't date black women, saying that black women are too much drama. I grew up in a black neighborhood and had/have many black girlfriends who mostly still date black guys. I realize that lots of black men are dating white girl's and Hispanic girls and Asian girls nowadays but somehow black girls are still dating and going out with black men. So I guess there's plenty of great black men out there to go around for all of us - white and black. I say share the love! Stop blaming each other and just love. Don't hate on me because I happen to love black men. It's a brain thing, not a hate thing.
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By too much drama, they mean they don't love themselves or think you are a pushover
@ManOnFire No one hates why girls because a small handful like black guys. What people really hate is when you try praising one over the other by bashing them and putting them down on damn near a daily basis. Everyone calls black women mean or unfriendly, but they never ask why. They only come up with some idiot reason as to why some black girls guards are always up. When you're the butt of everyone's jokes/insult how can you be happy/friendly with the very people who mock and ridicule you? How can you want to be kind to people who can only praise other race's by putting you down and telling everyone about how ALL of you act such and such way when it's really a small select loud handful of you that make the loudest noise? And it really creases me when black men say they love their female family members and friends when at the same time they're not afraid of grouping all black women together and bash them. Just because they're related to you or are friends with you doesn't mean (cont.)
@ManOnFire (cont.) shit when at the end of the day we're black women just like the rest of us and feel the same way we do every time someone has something hateful to say about us. I've over heard male family member talk amongst each other and try to pull the same shit as you are when it comes to talking shit about black women and then contradicting themselves by trying to exclude those who they're friends with/family with when it doesn't work that way. You either hate us all or realize you've made a mistake by generalizing an entire group of people when you haven't met everyone in that group. You can like women of other races all you want, but don't go bashing your own just to promote your "preference" because that shit isn't cool. I personally think Asian and Native American men are slightly more visually appealing than black guys, Hispanic guys, and white guys but I don't go bashing and insulting the group I don't find as visually appealing to promote what I do find more appealing.
@xXiTacoXx Uhh, it's way more than a just a "small handful" of white girls who like black guys, and since I am one, I would know better than anyone else. Black women are the ones who don't have a lot of guys being into them.
@ManOnFire do you hear how you sound! Like I really can't. Everything Taco said is true!!! And I've said that to you before. You can't put down black women and bash black women but then try to exclude your mother/sister/aunt/grandma. It doesn't work that way.
@CHARismatic110 The black women in our lives are easy to love. There's a difference between loving black blood relatives, and loving black women not related to you. I don't really care what Taco, or the anonymous asker, or anyone else has to say. At the end of the day, it's not going to change. And until black women humble themselves and take a look at themselves instead of blaming us for dating outside our race and using all these lame arguments, it will continue to be this way.
@ManOnFire i don't think you even know what you're talking about dude. Like I told her, I don't act anything like black women portrayed in the media. And I'm not a product of my environment. But I'm also not going to bash an entire group of people based of interactions with a few of them. You're just as bad as the racist white people in this world.
@ManOnFire The only reason why you claim to not care about what I say is because you obviously don't want to face the truth about how you can't exclude those you're related to/ friends with and then talk shit about the very thing they are. And it really is a small handful because at the end of the day most white people will date within their own race. You just might be coming across those who are okay with dating outside their race the same way how I happen to run into guys who aren't afraid of dating black women. Just because you come across a few who prefer you doesn't mean the rest like you too.
@xXiTacoXx I don't care about what you say because it's just redundancy. Not truth. Black women probably have more self-hate than anyone else, to want to change the way they look so much and being so bitter with the world because they're unhappy with themselves.
Are you not aware of how many interracial relationships are comprised of black men and white women? And how fewer have white men and black women? LOL! It's still very common for white women to date black men, and Latinas too. The joke is on you, not us. Lol.
@ManOnFire It's not redundancy it's people trying to tell you the obvious truth and you refusing to listen, and just because there are a small handful of people not of your race that would date you doesn't mean everyone likes you. Interracial dating is still not common (and this is coming from someone who happens to be dating interracially themselves). My point about it being a small handful still stands. So the joke is really on you.
@xXiTacoXx Interracial dating is still not common? Have you been living in a box all your life? LOL! Interracialism is more common in today's society now than it ever has been. Yeah, you're a black woman dating outside your race, so you're not going to get as much access to men of other races as black men do vice versa, so in your world it's a handful, not for me and other black men. You really think you're trying to fool someone? Yeah, I think the joke is still on you. Hell, you might even still be a virgin and have only ever dated one man so far in your life.
@ManOnFire I've dated multiple men, but the only reason why I'm still a virgin is because I'm never sure if I'm with the right guy to lose it to since I don't want to regret it. And of course interracial dating is more common now than ever before because we're not living in the 1950's anymore, but it doesn't mean it's as common as people dating within their own race. So at the end of the day it's still a handful even for you and other black men.
@ManOnFire This is an age old debate w/ an answer no one likes to admit.
1. Black women get upset because the type of black men they want end up choosing women of other races. there's plenty of average black men that like black women but most successful black men myself included end up dating women of other races (disclaimer I will date black women as well I pers6do t discriminate) 2. As a whole black men are usually desired around the globe. Black women nor so much. I was recently in Switzerland and the love and attention I received made me think I was a celebrity, in most places I go around the world black men are treated as aphrodisiacs. Women regardless of race like to maintain sexual leverage black women have realized that's impossible to do when successful attractive black men have so many options. 3. The higher up black men go the less as available Black women there are. I only remember one black girl on the college campus I graduated from. Iny day to day business when I'm in boardrooms I rarely see black women on the other side of the table. Reality is there are less if them at the top.
"It's the truth. Black men complain about white supremacy and use those very SAME white supremacy tactics on black women. Its not about wanting white women, they simply want the white man's place in society, to be able to have power over others (they only have power over black women, hence the treatment of black women). They want white women so they'll know know it feels to wake up like a white man wakes up in the morning, to a white woman. It's not only about white women, it's primarily about white men. Unfortunately a lot of black men still look to white men as the standard for what a man should be.๏ปฟ"
@charismatic Nah, not really. That's just stuff black women invent to make themselves feel better about it. It's a lame argument really, that it must mean you hate yourself for preferring women of other races. I think you're smarter than that.
@ManOnFire you really wanna start this shit up again dude? Go talk to the black chic that shares your hatred of black women and leave me alone. Thanks.
He calls you smart and you tell him to stop talking to you? Really? That's the exact attitude that people are talking about that's not becoming of black women. We don't hate black women, moreso, we dislike how they are portrayed. At least, that's what I don't like. I'm black and I don't act anything like they portray in the media.
@EllieLexis513 yeah I'm not too fond of people patronizing me. And I'm nothing like the black women portrayed in the media. But I'm also not about to sit here and bash black women because of a few bad apples. If that's what you choose to do then more power to you. That helps no one.
@EllieLexis513 Ahhh, don't sweat it, sweetheart. I'm not worried about it. People have to work it out how they need to work it out, and I know that YOU are smart enough to know that as well.
@itsallover No, I just think it's weird that for someone who is all 'go black women and everything we stand for' that she'd be okay with a racial slur against a black man and approve of the person who used it. As a black woman myself, I would never do that.
@EllieLexis513 i love how you keep saying "as a black woman i don't do this and that". Understand this, if you are a black woman as you claim, he doesn't give a fuck about you either. No amount of ass kissing is going to change that.
@EllieLexis513 And as a black woman myself, I'm going to disregard everything you say because you're so dead set on brown-nosing this Uncle Tom here to even realise how disrespectful he's being. I have no interest in continuing any further conversation with you.
OK, cut the bullshit. Black women aren't the most educated group in the country. Matter of fact, they're not even the second most educated group. 36% of Black women are college educated, compared to 19% of Black men, 44% of White men, and 51% of White women. That means statistically speaking, that in general women have more degrees than men anyway, but both White men and women have more degrees than Black women. What I do find interesting is that even with the lack of degrees, Black men tend to make on average about $41k a year, while Black women make an average of about $28k. White men make $52k. So not only are they not the most educated, they make less money than Black men. Why? Because they don't pick STEM degrees that's why. I'm not gonna read that long-ass article because it's definitely filled with bs. The truth is, Black women are rebellious. They like to fight and cause problems. Just right "Black men" on the forum and see for yourself. The intellectual Black man has been kicked out of the community. Child support, government checks and trying to preserve the image of being "strong women" has been more prioritized by Black women than getting with a decent Black man. You don't want to cook or clean, or even have basic respect for a Black man, but he's expected to treat you well and not complain about bs? Nah fam, we would. You cry and complain about "bashing", but you started the question, so who's bashing who? It's a vicious cycle really. Black men have bigger issues to deal with in society, and the last thing we want to deal with is an ignorant sista. We're already done with police, government, racist White folks, and add more salt to the wounds now you have the feminist sisterhood talking smack. Single motherhood is your problem. When men only have 1 form of contraception, and women have 34, and they have the choice of an abortion, and they have the choice to give the baby up for adoption, at some point you must take accountability for it. Oh, and you sleep with lowlifes, and then expect a successful Black man to come over and be a step-dad. Nope, will never happen. If you think I'm being harsh, reality is harsh. Black men's treatment of Black women is only a reaction to what Black women are doing, not vice versa. The Black marriage rate was higher then White marriage rate before 1960. Look it up. Obviously you know something happened in 1960 that caused Black men to step away. I'm gonna let you figure that one out on your own.
No, Black men do not date White/Hispanic/Asian women because they hate themselves. They date out of their race because they hate Black women. These are the reasons that I've heard from friends, co-workers and classmates from college: Black women have nasty attitudes and blame it on everyone but themselves, they are always looking for a fight and they embarrass themselves and the man they are with, terrible hygiene, are over-weight, have too many children by different fathers, uneducated and even when educated, still act ghetto. They have no money, except what they get from the state and are extremely unladylike (including being not feminine, awful, if any manners and chew with their mouths open). Closed off sexually and (here comes the hygiene example), are - well, I'm not going to use the phrase that they used- men don't want to perform oral sex on them. They prefer other women's skin tone, athletic but slim bodies, taste, facial features (no wide noses), femininity, intelligence and how these women of other races treat people in general (with consideration and kindness, not aggression). To clarify, I am currently at work sitting in a room with 3 Black men who are giving me these answers. I can also promise you, these men, my co-workers, in no way hate themselves, lol.
Black men will choose overweight white women that white men donโt want. Keep listening to black men with overinflated egos who hate their blackness and maybe layup with one and become a single mother too or get divorced. Consider that black men and white women have the highest divorce rate out of all interracial couples in America.
I don't like American black girls most of them are loud and ghetto. And the other ones were just weird. Black woman are often bully's to me.
But there's been about two black woman in my life so far that have been cool this girl at my high school she way prettier than all the girls in my class. I had a crush on another girl and she was prettier than her Lol.
And my. boss at a old jobs she was really nice she was black. Both were dark skin black
But I will say this.
there's this born hate in the black community it might be because of white people but not really. 1. Black were slaves they had no worth
2. they were treated as second class citizen my grandparents were alive during mlk times and they taught that to my mom and my mom sorta me.
3. all you see if is white people and your black how do u relate. On t. v the white man is a authority figures like cops or firefighter or judges. Even cartoons they were white.
The cartoon character static shock is my literal fav character because he's black.
I remember when I was 7 I was saying I didn't wanna hang out with these kids because they were black I wanted to be accepted by the white and Hispanic students. I dressed up as yugi muto from yugioh when i was 10 and I didn't wanna do it because I didn't want them call me black yugioh. And my dad was like why don't u buy it. I bought it and at my elementary school a kid said look it's black yugi. And my heart broke. so yeah
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Also I don't hate black woman I just don't find them attractive at all. I don't even look there way. black woman have always been bullies to me. I always see them being mean to others and me. I just avoid them and don't even talk them. unless hi and bye type things
The argument that black men must hate their own race/"self-hate" just because they're not attracted to black women, is just a thing created to make black women feel better about it. And no matter how many arguments black women give, it's not gonna change it, and actually pushes us away even more really.
A lot of us just don't like the attitudes of our women. It doesn't mean we hate ourselves or our race, we hate that BEHAVIOR. We still love our family, friends, moms, and sisters. We just prefer to date another.
But wouldn't you admit you don't know that many black women if most of the black women you know have 'attitudes' Also, why say 'our women' vs black women?
@vishna Oh I know many, many black women. Probably more than other people. Sure, there are black women who don't have attitudes, but it's still a pretty common thing for our women - and some even want to hail it.
Their behavior is often that rude snideness that they not only show to men but even other black women. I know one of the things I hate about our women is there tendency to be so damn nasty in customer service or desk jobs. I really do not get that. They act short with you and like it's killing them to have to help you or do their job.
They get mad about us choosing white women or Latinas, but there's a reason why.
I can understand that. As a black woman, I don't have any black friends except one co-worker. The females are really mean to me. I've never had any close black female friends. They're rude and picky about everything. Like my neighbor is black and every time I go to see her, the first thing she does is ask me what's going on with my hair or my clothes or my make up and in my head I'm like "I'm not going anywhere, I just walked down a flight of stairs because you wanted to talk, didn't realize I had to be glam for that." It's annoying.
@EllieLexis513 OMG, I KNOW! I've had that same experience. One time I was at the hospital to visit my mom and it was so hot outside I had my shirt unbuttoned and forgot to button it back when I was in the room, and the girl GNA comes in and starts in about me trying to show off my chest hairs. Seriously? In a hospital? Lol. A white girl would never say that. It's like black women try to notice stuff just so they can have something to say about it.
I'm a black woman and I don't do that, but I have to admit, most of us do. It's annoying. I feel like in a way I'm getting stereotyped and punished for the ignorance of other black women and it's annoying.
@EllieLexis513 And in some sense that's true. It's the same way with black men and crime. We don't want to be stereotyped, yet we glorify the crime life and crime rappers. I'm at the point in my life where I wonder how much I can really defend us anymore.
I just stopped trying. You can't make people change, unfortunately. I can only focus on me and act the way I was raised, not how I'm portrayed in the media.
I know this is old but I just want to tell you that youโre wrong. The notion that American black men hate themselves has weight to it. Black men go out of their way to disrespect black females, you know those who are the reason they exist. They go out of their way to kill each other out of hatred. Many Black men ultimately want to bread blackness out of their families. They blame everyone else under the sun for their own mistakes. Black men teach their sons to hate black women for no reason. They just make sure to embed it into their heads that black females are the enemy.
And not to mention American black men are the most insecure men in America. Every time someone brings up harsh facts about black men yโall instantly get defensive. Yโall feel the need to put on a tough act. Yโall feel the need to tear people down to lift yourselves or other up. Yโall hide behind guns, chains, gangs, and expensive materials to cover up whatโs really going on within black men. And thatโs self hate and/or deep rooted insecurities that manifest into something bigger. But yโall deny all of this, all of the flaws yโall share. And it real takes a toll on the black community.
I do not think black men dating out automatically means self hate. But black men degrading and disowning their own as soon as they get a taste of what white men have, definitely looks bad on them. Most sellouts have issues within.
@Anna__M Although I wrote this over more than a year ago, I actually have changed quite a lot. These days it's the opposite for me - I am actually more attracted to my women now and pursue them more, while I have much less interest in white women. I don't really like the way a lot of white women act and think and tend to be arrogant because they know the world glorifies them and puts them on a pedestal.
I definitely agree that black men run after white women way too much, but I do not agree that black men are the most insecure men in America. That is still largely white men. Black men still have confidence and courage whereas the vast majority of wholesale shooters are white males, who often are angry at the world, racist, and/or Republican. It's white males who are the ones that obssess over penis size and get jealous about white women dating black men. It's white males who have more of the confidence issues about dating and approaching women while black men know how to do it.
Having said all that, that doesn't make black women perfect or spotless. They too blame others for their lives and attitudes and not themselves. They have their own issues, but at the same time I've learned to appreciate them in ways that other women have not satisfied me on.
Yes! Now, not every black woman has the same experience. However, far too many black women are negatively affected by negative stereotypes. They're told they're not attractive, not intelligent, have an attitude, are too loud, and so on. And growing up around all that negativity is extremely detrimental to the confidence of a young girl.
And most people within the black community can personally say they know about the colorism, setreotypes, and put downs. How would it feel to be hear things like "You're pretty for a black girl." "I don't think black women are attractive".-from black men and others. "Black women are too aggressive." "Black women are too loud." All these negative things and forcing of attributes to millions of people who are all individuals. And it must hurt especially when people in your cultural/ethnic community, who have a similar background, don't see you as equals.
it's tv that spreads these stereotypes. if black actresses/actors who refuse to keep playing those parts it would undoubtedly help immensely. but the real problem is the fact that people actually believe and feed into almost everything they see on tv/movies in the first place.
oh, trust me, I know. I've been told way too many times I'm different from other black people by white people who later admitted they've never really know a black person before. and most of this is in my adult life which is really sad that they truly believe that.
@thewanderingme It's so incredibly saddening. And that's a messed up thing to hear. It's like, what do you say in those circumstances. Like a naive child, I learned in college during a presentation about that fact. And my roommates were living proof. Haha, fun times.
I've never dated Black, so I don't have any first hand experience.
I'm curious about this topic, so I'm just poking my head here.
Though I have to say, I don't get Black people sometimes. Say, in the Ferguson riots, for example. Other people did something shitty to Black people and then they protest and riot. That part I understand, but why the f%#k do they then turn around and loot each other? If you're going to loot, why not go down the road and loot from the guys who were shooting you in the first place?
I've seen black women do literally nearly everything that woman mentioned in her "hypothetical" list. It just seems like black American people only know how to fight hatred with more hatred, whether that be towards each other, white people, or anybody else.
How many black people do you actually know? Are you actually friends with? As someone with lots of black friends my age, everyone is extremely different... definitely not fighting hatred with hatred or doing most of the stuff listed.
@vishna Also I'm mostly talking the older crowd, mostly single mothers and women that have been scorned by men. I know a few girls my age that have that whole victim mentality as well. I've just seen it happen in just about everything that "hypothetical" list mentions. It seems like black Americans have some sort of strife against themselves and everyone else. It sort of makes me glad black American culture is not my culture. It seems so angry all the time.
@ASker not once did I speak for the experience of most black men and women in America, I spoke about my experience with black American women and that's how they were.
@Relentless_Hippie I'm half black as well. And I can't say that I would respond to a MyTake like this without even mentioning how a lot of this is extremely true. Did you ever hear the colorism, I mean, as a biracial child, I heard some pretty messed up stuff regarding skin color and it was obvious to me, as a child, that it was backwards and I didn't want my darker family members and friends hearing that shit. Or thinking I believed it.
@vishna I was mostly mistreated by black American girls. I've heard more black girls make fun of black men for their skin and call them dark, crispy, and ugly.
Okay, once again you're talking about your own personal experiences and I'm talking about mine. You feel as though most black men hate black women, and I've met a lot of black men who feel like most black women hate black men. I've seen black women go in on a black guy and tear him apart like he wasn't even human. The black men who don't date black women because of "attitude" feel that way because for them it's the truth. Instead of getting angry at black men, get angry at the women who portray you in a negative light. The same way black men should get mad at the men who portray them in a negative light. Your feelings are misplaced.
@Relentless_Hippie That's terrible. I had a black girl be mean to me once because she was racist against biracial people. But her life was colored with colorism. I remember once she was in an argument with another a lighter girl at school and the teacher asked her roughly "Why are you arguing with her? Are you jealous." And the teacher kept pressing that last bit. And that's life for too many black girls, the colorism and put downs, and they are hurt and take it out on anybody, I guess especially lighter girls. But a lot of this black American colorism is the result of slavery and colonialism. It's ingrained in our culture, perpetuated by black people and others, yet, it's not a black invention. And again, being bullied is terrible. And bullies are always wrong. And I've not been picked on much by black girls, so, it's was easier in that one extreme case to essentially forgive her. It's also easier I guess because I had a lot of wonderful friends throughout my life who are black,
sensitive, creative, intelligent, beautiful :) friends. You are of a black person, mother or father, and they came from a black women. And it takes a lot of strength to navigate a world in which there are so many people saying you are less than. And even though it sucks those girls were mean to you, they aren't every black woman. The hurt they caused you, is the type of hurt they might have been feeling or that another black girl, who never bullied anyone.
@vishna I understand the reasoning for sure, but I'm a firm believer in taking responsibility for yourself. Sure, at some point your outside experiences with others will affect you, but at the end of the day how you treat people is up to you and you only. I have nothing to do with how black girls were treated. It's not right that I would have to suffer and be treated like I'm not a human being because of what actually black did. With that same thinking I would just grow up to be as racist as the black girls who mistreated me, and that doesn't solve anything. It's just an endless cycle of stupid. People need to get mad the appropriate people. Get mad at the black women who protray blacks in a negative light, get mad at the men who do the same. Don't blame whites, or mixed people, or the black men/women who say they want nothing to do with that.
@relentless_Hippie I notice people don't like to take responsibilities for their actions. It's sad really, then they fall into this victim mentality and want to blame other people.
I hate black women because y'all are fat and bully's and unfeminine and rachet. You guys are also stupid and beleube liberals to much. Only like 15% of talk are smart. You promote lgbt agenda. Black women love THUG BLACK MEN. And the only time black women know how to be a girl is with a white man.
Black women always think somebody out to get them. They dont know how to shut up.
My co-worker is 44 an d he's married to a black women and he says the same thing I seen as that black women dont know how to let a man lead. I was so happy be said some stuff similar to what I was thinking and we from 2 different era. I've felt this way since 2nd grade
and no, this warped idea that most black (or any other group of ) men hate/dislike black women is propaganda.. who started it? I don't know, but its definitely bull shit. STOP reading into it!
Hard to believe it's propaganda when I've experienced it firsthand and when people like @ManOnFire make it his business to say so as often as possible. May not be the majority, but it definitely IS a thing.
@CHARismatic110 you're 1black woman. you don't represent every black woman. I definitely get more attention from black, white, and hhispanic men than I want. (Asians don't seem to be at all interested, save for for kid in middle school)
You know what's sad? Majority of what you said Black women, should do, to give another perspective, is what majority of them ACTUALLY DO on social media. Even the well-known ones have been doing that. So what you're saying black women should do from a different perspective, isn't going to change shit. Plain and simple. And for these morons calling out that you're stating the truth, isn't truth. The truth is that when people make choice's and own up to their decisions. That is also progress.
I honestly have a lack of caring and knowledge about this subject.
Not to say I'm a terrible person, it kind of just gets old after a while hearing about 'black issues'and 'white issues' and just race based issues as whole.
Black American men hate black American women. Cause African men love African women... They can travel round the world, but 90% of them come back to marry from home. The 10% that married foreigners didn't do it out of hatred for their women, no they just found love.
@thewanderingme Because we know internalized racism exists based on products like bleaching cream and white skin is constantly being held up as the beauty standard. Then on here we constantly see white guys and guys of color saying they dislike "dark skin girls"
So are those things all a result of people "hating their own blackness"? Are they a result of pervasive racism in our beauty standards? Just straight up racism? I don't know. I suspect it's a mix of multiple issues for people.
@thewanderingme A white person going tanning is a status symbol in the west. It means they can afford to go on vacation or have the money to dump into tanning salons.
Bleaching creams are just as racist as the lack of foundation colors.
lol, it has nothing to do with showing they can afford to go on vacation. bleaching creams are used for various reasons. as a teen, not knowing how toxic they are, I use them very briefly to fade acne scars. and most people I knew using them were doing the same, trying to fade some sort of hyper pigmentation from various things on their skin, not trying to look white. the number of people actually using them to lighten their skin all over is heavily exaggerated.
there may be a lot of black people who white white privilege (money and lifestyle) but very few who actually want to be or look white. I see a lot more black people going out of their way to not seem "white" than the opposite. this whole thing is bullshit. no matter what a black person does they're criticized for it in some way.
@thewanderingme Yes it does. Tanning was popularized in 20s after coco Chanel came home from vacation tanned.
There are creams that are just for dark spot removal and those I would believe are for acne scars etc... But bleaching creams? No. Their primary use is to tell people you're too dark. Just like the limited choices in makeup for people of color and the options for "nude" clothing say you're not the default.
I'm not saying ALL black people do x or ALL black people do is y because ALL black people are different. I was pretty sure we've been talking about how society affects beauty standards and how some people internalize them.
tanning has been a thing long before that. maybe for you, or people you know, its about showing off that you can vacation, but every while person I've asked in real life has said they purposely burn/tan their skin to make it darker because they don't like looking pale. it's the same as those bleaching to lighten their skin tones.
.. like I said, as a teen with acne scars I just assumed that was the thing to use because others told me they used the same things. it was only recently that I discovered that coconut oil works great for dark spots/acne scars (among other skin issues).
@thewanderingme Why do they not like looking pale? Because it's not a status symbol. People even have to be the right kind of tan otherwise it's a reason to look down on people eg farmer's tan or rednecks.
Ooooo note to self on coconut oil. Ty!
Even if YOU only used it for spot treatment we know that others do not and that widespread use is definitely not limited to black people. The beauty standards are there and they are wrong and damaging. Saying they don't exist isn't going to make the problem go away. Like do you see the things guys are saying on here?
I never said they don't exist, but you're assuming that tons of black women (or people in general?) are ashamed of being black simply because they use some stupid cream, and its just not true.
@thewanderingme I'm not saying they're ashamed of being black. I'm saying that there are beauty standards that push them into thinking that the color of their skin is somehow lesser than white skin. European companies alone made over 10 BILLION dollars in 2015. As much as I would love to believe it's just people dealing with hyperpigmentation spot treatment there's no way that's true with that kind of earnings floating around.
@thewanderingme I suppose for some people it could be shame at the root but I don't know if that's what really bothers people or not. Like if your society teaches you to hate yourself are you ashamed of yourself? I don't know.
@thewanderingme I'm saying that it's internalized racism. I'm not saying I understand what each individual's reasoning for being an internalized racist is.
the understanding behind it isn't the point. you're stand assuming that some bkack people (or just women?) do certain things because of internalized racism.
@thewanderingme No, my stance has consistently been that people who don't want romantic partners from their own race are suffering from internalized racism. And we KNOW internalized racism exists thanks to the multi BILLION dollar skin bleaching industry.
I'm not attracted to black guys and I guarantee you I don't, nor have I ever, suffered from internalized racism.
a lot of people like to use the word preference, but I think that implies something that you choose to do. for me, it's more the fact that growing up in a very mixed (though predominantly white) town most my guy friends happened to be white so naturally I ended up going for white guys. not Asian, not Hispanic, just white. plus, I've always preferred rock music and more alternative styles, which next to no black guys here seem to be into. not to say I don't have any black male friends, but they're more brotherly. I also have a white female friend who feels the same about white guys, though she's alternative too, she's always only seen them in a brotherly way. neither of us has internalized racism. that whole argument for why people are attracted to what they are is racist itself.
anyway, I have no idea why you assume black women use skin bleaching a lot. while there are a few countries in Africa where it's very popular, its just those few countries. it's much more popular in Asian nations, including India. and in fact is and has always been very popular among white women. while tanning has become popular among many white people, far various reasons, being as pale as possible has also been extremely popular because it showed that that person didn't have to work a labor job outside and so many used, and still use those same skin bleaching products. it's just that its only referred to as "bleaching" creams when someone black uses it. most black people use to fade skin problems, not at an attempt to try in look closer to white.
here's a good site for you to learn a bit more about it:
@thewanderingme It's not an assumption when European companies alone made 10 billion dollars last year. I'm sorry but we are past guessing when we're talking about billions of dollars.
LOL It's racist to say that if you don't like someone because of their race you have a race problem? I really respect and like you but that's just silly.
Like I've said before. In the west tanning is a status symbol that can be easily and directly traced to Coco Chanel. Just like wanting to stay pale to show you don't work in the fields is an Asian status symbol.
yes, and so did every other major cosmetic make billions in the word. you're still speculating what who buying and what for. and placing judgments on who a person chooses to date is racist. you may not mean to be but that's what you're doing.
and I never said I DISLIKE black men in any way, I said I'm not attracted to them. just like I'm not attracted to Asian men, or Hispanic men, or blondes, or redheads, or fat guys, or muscular guys, or bald guy, or men over 40, etc etc
@thewanderingme I don't think people buy skin cosmetics because they're content with their skin. Like if I go buy moisturizer, it's because I feel my skin is dry. Not because my skin is omg so soft and dewy *u* XD
I'm not judging anyone. It's one thing to say "I've only had the opportunity to date X race of guys but I'd be open to dating other guys" or "I don't mind X race of guy but all the X race of guys I've met haven't had good chemistry." But to say "oh I just don't date X race" sounds really racist. It's like something a casually racist grandparent tells you to not do...
huh? I skin is actually really soft and I use lotion to keep it that way. not sure what you mean by dewy.. but the media overplays how much people use those creams for skin bleaching (as apposed to what their actually made for). as I said about the whole bs about black or any other men not wanting to date black women, its all propaganda. black/brown people tan too, but for some reason every time a black female celebrity looks lighter people want to accuse her of skin bleaching. it's bull shit propaganda to put black women down. just like how black women are almost always portrayed as loud, rowdy, angry and in many other negative way. it isn't really like that in the real world. you ARE making assumption based off lies you see on tv.
I know what I like and what I'm attracted to. I'm not going to force myself to date what I'm not sexually attracted to because interracial dating bothers you. that's what it really sounds like to me. like you don't like it, but you're hiding behind shamin
it's never just about personality though, unless the person is blind looks always come into it. and various things while you were growing up.
me knowing I will never date a bad guy, an Asian guy, a redhead, an overweight guy, etc is exactly the same as knowing I would never date a black guy. we can all be the best of friends, but there's no attraction there. it has nothing to do with any form of racism.
I'm not making any decisions on anyone. I'm acknowledging what I'm attracted to. perfectly natural. you're trying to make it this huge thing when its simply a matter of attraction.
also, the word you're thinking of is prejudice, not racism. racism denotes feeling hate or animosity towards a group of people. saying I wouldn't date ______ would only be racist if I said I hate all ______ people.
whatever you want to call like, there's nothing racist about having a certain type you're attracted to. I could understand if I dated white guys simply because they're white, but that's not the case. it's base on real attraction. and only for a very specific type at that.
@thewanderingme it's prejudice, and you are it. Very much so. To not be attracted to an entire race of men is absurd. And if you are black and it's black men that you don't date, I would think you have self hate issues as well.
@thewanderingme notice I said not being attracted to an entire race of men right. Learn to read. You're only attracted to white men. Just say that and stop trying to sugarcoat it. No need to prove anything to me mami. After all, who am I? Besides someone that can see through the bullshit. ๐
@Jaded214 saying someone hates their race because they're attracted to another is bull shit. you are a racist. you clearly have an issue with interracial dating and are using lame excuses to try and hide that.
@helloitsmethere I mean the way they want to look, with their hair and makeup and cheesyness and attitudes. Yes, I know "not ALL" black women are like this, but it's still pretty common for a lot to be. When you're wearing purple hair and purple lipstic, or red braids, or that new ugly do nowadays where they're shaving one side of the head, it's hard for anybody to really take you seriously or respect you. And it kinda says you have no respect for yourself and are ashamed of what you really look like/what you really are to want to plaster yourself with all that fakeness.
And also the music thing. Black women are crying about how they're disrespected in rap and hip hop, yet they're loving it! Especially younger ones, they eat it up, and try to dirty dance like they see in the videos. I think it's a joke that Beyonce thinks she's some great role model for women. Shaking that ass on stage in hardly nothing is your idea of a great role model? Guess again.
@ManOnFire Okay, but what about white women and when they dye their hair purple, wear purple lipstick, dye their hair red and also shaving one side of their head? Do you think the same way? As far as I am concerned, at my school, the most people with crazy coloured hair are white.
@helloitmsethere I've seen white women do that stuff and I don't think it's great either. The red hair thing can work better for them though because there are white people with red hair, but the purple is stupid. However, I think it's still much more common for black women to do all that stuff than white girls.
Interestingly though, while I might dislike these things about black women, I'm actually going to be posting a Take soon about how feminism has been racist towards black women throughout history.
@ManOnFire I was just about to mention the feminism movement towards black women thing also. Apparently since a black woman does something unique, people call it ghetto meanwhile a white woman does the same thing and people call it a 'fashion sense'. For example: the gelling of baby hairs.
Oh that's definitely true. But the same thing happens with black men. You got white boys and even Latinos trying to look like us with the sagging pants and those annoying urban style baseball caps and big watches, yet they don't get called negative stuff for it.
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