Why are people so satisfied when a stuck up girl becomes fat, and why is fat still such an insult for women?

Question

*WARNING, INSECURE WOMEN OR MEN ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK, AND PLEASE BE KIND BUT HONEST IN YOUR RESPONSES*

So my brother had his friends over and they were talking about the girls that rejected them.
It seemed like they really enjoyed the fact that especially the "stuck up", popular and/or really attractive ones gained weight. Smug satisfaction.
Literally, they'd be like "Remember _____, when you asked her out? Guess what, she's fat af now." And they'd all laugh and be like "ha! Serves her right for being conceited".
Or another one was having multiple babydaddies, or being a single mother. However, there seemed to be a consensus that a single mother is more dateable than a large woman. That sounds so degrading to say, but it's their standards and how they feel.

Also, if you've ever disagreedwith someone online, if you're female, you've probably been called "fat" as a generic insult. I know I have, especially when I don't have my pic up, people throw that "oh you must be a bitter fat chick" line. I'm bitter lol but not fat.

So my question is, why is being "fat" such an insult for women?
And I guess poll question, would you rather date a big woman or single mother?

Maik567 · Accepted Answer

If you hate someone and something bad happens to them many people feel joy cause they might feel like the person they hate "deserves it" or that it's "karma". I don't think it's any deeper than that, and some people just love seeing successful people fail, probably because of their own feelings of being inadequate.

I don't think anyone likes being rejected but in this scenario the guy obviously felt bitter about her rejecting him, so now he feels happy knowing that she's considered unattractive, as if that was some karma she deserved, even though there's obviously no logic behind that.

"if you're female, you've probably been called "fat" as a generic insult."

I'm a guy and I've been called fat multiple times online as well, even tho I have abs lol. It's not as much of a gendered insult as you seem to believe it is. The reason women take it harder cause girls are taught since their childhood to take care of their looks where as boys are focused on other things. So being considered unattractive is a bigger blow to girls than it is for guys, at least on average.

Fat is an insult cause it's caused by a combination of your own laziness/gluttony/ignorance. It's no one's fault but yourself. It's also exclusively a first world problem, there are people starving all around the world and then you stuff yourself so full of food that you become much fatter than a healthy human is supposed to be.

And honestly I wouldn't date either, maybe if I was single after like turning 35 I'd consider dating someone who had a child.

ToruMatsuda · Accepted Answer

I guess it's

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Being fat has a lot of negative aspects. I'll never get behind the "body positivity"(it's really just FAT positivity) because I will never promote unhealthy bodies. I'm not going to tell kids it's okay to be a body that will probably get you killed before you make it to being a senior citizen. I'd rather upset some girls fragile little ego than watch her die in middle age from a corroded artery.

Men are valued on what they can do (that's why weak guys get made fun of) and women are valued on their physical appearance and being fat isn't seen as attractive. We insult men for different things because we attack them for what makes them men. We insult women for something else because we attack what makes them women. Men are defined by being fat so we don't attack them for it because it won't have as much of a sting. Instead we attack them for their capabilities because that's where it will hurt them. It's like if a girl is made fun of for being unatheletic it probably won't humiliate her as much as it would a guy. And a guy probably won't feel as bad about being called unattractive as a girl
(Note I'm not trying to invalidate anyones feelings or say that they don't get incredibly hurt by these insults. I'm just saying certain things upset girls that on average won't upset guys as much and vice versa).

It's fucked overall.

NatashaJ · Accepted Answer

That's the thing people can really feel better about themselves when attacking someone who is "threat". I'm chubby but I had a guy on bumble call me a fatass I didn't take a offense to it because 1. Don't compare my weight to women way bigger than me. 2. The skinny chick you want is either going to have implants for her ass and breasts because having a big ass and breasts are not natural on skinny women. So his ideal is inexperience and stupid and 3. I think people are annoyed about it because it's none of anyone business about someone's health! too many people are up in fat people business but not anorexics, smokers, druggies, people who like to shove things up their asses and lose stuff in their asses. You don't see the concern for them so why are you so concern about being fat? and who said fat isn't sexy? or someone who bigger isn't beautiful it's bullshit. FACE COUNTS MORE THEN BODY. PEOPLE CAN LOSE WEIGHT BUT NOT A UGLY FACE.
www.google.ca/search

You telling me this girl ^ is ugly only because of her fat? regardless that her face is pretty good and she has nice skin?

peachblossomluck · Accepted Answer

Fit women are more desirable to a higher status of man, generally speaking. They elevate the man's status and the image of whomever the woman works for. I'm simply being honest. People want to hire fit people and they are desirable as mates. Unless you work in a restaurant with yummy but fattening food being fit is to your benefit. My son used to brag to his friends that he had the pretty, skinny mom. I was proud of that. I'm a widow and chose to stay single after that and feel no shame being single. I gained some weight after having to take some medications for illness. I feel ashamed of the weight gain. So I'm doing whatever I can to lose that weight. Does that answer your question?

madhatters4 · Answer

they are satisfied because they felt rejected and personally injured (emotionally) that she rejected them. so they are being rather petty and catty celebrating the fact that she got fat as a just reward for her not accepting their advances.

being fat is considered an insult (male or female) because it is the antithesis of being healthy and in good shape. there is the implication of being lazy, unattractive, etc.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Fat is an insult because it hurts, it's that simple. It's women's fault men use "fat" as an insult. Same thing happens with men, if men weren't so obsessed about having a big dick, girls wouldn't use "small penis" as an insult.
Calling a girl fat is the easiest insult for a woman because the chances of her being hurt by it is almost 100%.

As for your poll: Being fat and/or being a single mother is bad. I won't date either of them, but if I had to choose (because I'm being forced at gunpoint) I'd choose the single mother. Yes, she's probably an idiot for getting pregnant at such a young age and now being single, but it's better than being with someone you're not physically attracted to.

P. S.: Your brother and his friends felt satisfaction when they knew those bitchy girls got fat because they saw it as karma, and also because they dodged a bullet, if they would have accepted them, the guys would have been the ones stuck with the fat chicks.

WavyWyx · Answer

I can't speak as to the motivations of other men, because I've only ever been myself. That said, I wouldn't have a problem dating a single mother or a bigger girl. Neither factors into my decision-making process at all. Raising someone else's child would probably get to me a little, although it's all hypothetical and doesn't matter since no one will ever be attracted to me.
Regarding, "fat" being a generic insult, it's because in our culture being "fat" is associated with low social status, so it's just like if someone were calling you a "dog" or a "whore" or a "lesbian". All "bad" things.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Fat is an insult to anyone because it's horrible unhealthy, unattractive, it makes life much harder then it needs to be, it's expensive and it leads to a slow death and possibly painful death depending on how fat you are. And being a fitness/health professional I know just how detrimental to the body it really is, and what it does to you.

It's not pretty and pretty horrible and aweful so why would I want to be with someone like that knowing what happening to their body?

Also fat is not gender specific.

Further more it makes me sad because those people could be leading happy, healthy lives and feel a lot better about themselves.

Also realistically neither also I don't find single mother an insult it's just not in the cards for me to be with one my own personal preferences.

TripleAce · Answer

Fat is an insult to a women because society has placed the desire for overweight women pretty low on the scale. It's not actually a insult if it's desirable, but it's not desirable so it's automatically insulting

--> Iv'e met plenty of fat single women... and most of the times, if not always.. they are single because the are fat. They still get plenty of guys but mostly JUST for sex... then they run away

--> this says that lots of bros are willing to sex up a fatty... but NOT date them? which also means that if the social construct created by people brining a negative connotation about fat people did not exist.. I bet you'd see more people dating fatty mcnatty

--> However that's a whole different story

ThisDudeHere · Answer

You can have your body-positivety all you want but fat is and will be unattractive. And it's also important to be able to make the distinction between chubby (which is attractive) and fat.

Bandit74 · Answer

Realistically, neither. However, if I was forced to choose I would go with the single mom if the fat girl is as fat as the the one in that picture.

And why is fat an insult for women?

Well I would say fat is an insult for men too so I dont think it's gender specific.
But with your example, those girls were conceited based on their looks and the kind of attention/validation their looks brought them. So it is satisfying for those guys to see someone who was arrogant and rude lose the traits that allowed them to get away with acting like that.

Like if there was a person you knew who used to flaunt their money and look down on those who were less fortunate wouldn't you get some satisfaction in hearing that they lost all their money in a bad investment?

Bluemax · Answer

"So my brother had his friends over and they were talking about the girls that rejected them." They are lashing out at people who they feel hurt them.

BellePepper · Answer

This circles back to thinness being a status symbol and sexism. A woman's first "job" or whatever is to look attractive and being thin is a key part of that. So if she isn't effortlessly beautiful she's less desirable as a woman.

Whereas there's a whole culture and kink built around attractive mother figures. It's only seen as a bad thing when the mom isn't attractive or if the guy is One Of Those Guys.

Anonymous · Answer

The way I see it, is this. A single mother shows hard work ethic as I am sure it would be difficult to raise a child on her own.
Meanwhile a fat woman shows lack of self discipline, because she had gotten to the point where she is visibly overweight.
So I think about the relationship in terms of someone who is motivated to succeed versus someone who is just gonna do nothing about the situation because they can't even give themselves the will to take care of themselves.

Kastinis · Answer

Being fat is considered to be unattractive, no one wants to be unattractive. So some people use it as insult by saying you are fat =you are ugly. I don't really see a fat word as an insult itself, but when someone actually using it as an insult, I'd consider it also as an unsuccessful try to hurt my feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

Fats a common degradating insult for women because most women (at least in the states) are sensitive about their body image. It's common knowledge not to call a girl thick or fat, even if she's not. Girls who are average build think they have thunder thighs. Girls who are hot and skinny can look at thick girls and ask "Omg her legs are so fat, so my legs look like that?"

We know it's a sensitive topic amongst girls. Also being fat is unnattractive. Most guys would rather hook up with an ugly girl who had a average body than a fat chick. Being a single mother isn't looked at as a bad thing unless she has kids with multiple fathers or she was a bitch or stuck up.

mitraT2359 · Answer

Being Obese is an insult as long as the person who is Obese considers it as an insult. Poor body image and lack of confidence on oneself may b the cause, I think coz I have never been fat but hv dated healthy vivacious women.

As far as the poll question is concerned...

Dating a large person vs. a single mother...

Honest opinion: Don't expect honest responses to such questions. A single mother would always b wanting a father figure for her child more than a husband for her. So its unfair to club such sets of women together. Large women... thats a completely different topic of discussion. Not to be clubbed together with single moms, I feel. I would not date based on this criteria. Would rather date based on personality and intellectual and physical compatibility levels.

Maypai · Answer

No matter how much society is going to sugar coat it, being fat is not a good thing. It doesn't look good on most people and it's unhealthy. If someone was fit, thin or skinny before and now they're fat, they let go of themselves. And most defiantly will not be looked at in the same light. Fat is commonly associated with ugly.

When someone becomes fat, they often become ugly. But if someone was stuck up before becoming fat, they were always ugly.

dogbert444 · Answer

A hot girl getting fat is not the issue. What is an issue is that it may be because of something in her personality, she has allowed herself to get fat. It's not, therefore, the fact that she's fat that is the deal breaker, but something in her personality.

Now a single mum may well be working hard to look after her child (ren). She may may have an amazing personality and be very dateable.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I'm assuming the girls rejected them in s harsh manner, for example "ewww, no way I'd date you" so your brother and his friends are getting satisfaction because now these girls will get rejected the same way. Most people feel that say when someone who hurts us fails.

DizzyAster · Answer

Your brother's friends are losers!!
They feel vindicated that the girl that 'hurt' them is 'fat' now.
How weak is that?

I've been turned down too, but I don't think about how I didn't get the girl, I only think about how I asked this HOT chick out.

Now, I'm dating a hot chick and I'm happy.

GraveTruth · Answer

The reason why is simple.

Women are taught that their body and sexuality is the only thing that matters for education, career, finance, love, popularity, control, etc, etc.

Being over weight is a step in the wrong direction.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I honestly think it's not good for ANYONE to be fat. So I'm not biased towards my own gender, I just know that being overweight is not a healthy life choice so I try to help anyone lose weight, that asks for my help.

Imhotep99 · Answer

"Fat" is an insult to anybody. However, if someone is obese and not doing anything about it and go flaunting their fat (acting like it's perfectly okay), it implies that they don't take good care of themselves. Fat shaming isn't good, but fat acceptance is a new epidemic.
P. S-Nobody can offend you if you choose not to be offended.

Why are people so satisfied when a stuck up girl becomes fat, and why is fat still such an insult for women?

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