Is it bad that no one at school likes me and I always sit alone at lunch?

Question

I know that it sounds silly but after high school I literally don't see a life for myself. Except watching YouTube videos, going back to high school and being the duff in my group of friends. ( im typically the ugly fat friend that no one notices) but despite my lack of body and good looks I try to be a nice, open minded and I pass on good vibes but I'm never invited to parties, I always walk home alone, I never had a boyfriend, no one asks me out, invites me anywhere and I'm always ignored or pushed to the side unless I say something. I can tell no one is interested in me and I never get phone numbers. When I do, the kids act uninterested in me or stop talks to me without word. I feel like I will be forever alone and I have to get used to basically being a outcast. By the way I live in a ghetto area and my personality has been said to be different, special or strange. There has been two drive by shootings in my neighborhood last week. Including gang members shooting in front of my little sisters school.

is there a reason on why I am a fucking outcast at school and the only people I consider friends are decades older than me?

Imustacheuaq · Accepted Answer

I'm going to say what other people might feel is too harsh, but if you want to FIX the situation this is hardest, but also the fastest way to do so. Body image and self esteem/confidence is the #1 factor in young adult popularity. You don't have to be perfect, but if you feel that you are bad in this area, that creates a negative impression in others that feeds the problem. A healthy body also balances your physical and mental chemistry and will naturally increase your positive outlook. So the best thing you can do in this situation is take time for youself to work on your body.

You don't have to go crazy, just improve the quality of the food you eat, exercise and increase muscle and fitness. even a 10% change in your physical state will have a 100x effect on your life. You will feel better and more confident about yourself, others will notice the changes and start to have more positive opinions about yourself, and you will naturally feel more at ease around others. All this will improve your social situation over time. If you keep it up, each step of the way things will improve better and better. People are programmed to visually respond more positively to fitter/healthier people. It's just science.

We live in a world where all the information you need to achieve any goal is just a few hours of googling away. If you don't know where to begin, start ready/researching on beginners fitness programs. You will impress yourself with how quickly you progress after you get past the initial few weeks of making a lifestyle change. You will thank yourself for it 10000000x over.

Also, in terms of how to handle yourself socially during this transition, the less you try the better you will succeed. This is hard to understand at first, but it is true. People tend to over analyze the things they are thinking and saying and that again reflects negativity outward to those around you. If you tell yourself you are happy and the things you say are good, and the jokes you tell are funny, then others will begin to think so to. Don't get mad at yourself if you make mistakes trying to be bolder, because those moments are what start to change peoples opinions about you for the better.

When people make fun of you or treat you badly, don't show them that it hurts you, it will only encourage them to do it more. No matter how hard it is to do in the moment, this is one aspect of life where "faking it until you make it" works.

Good luck, its a hard journey, but worth it.

Dim1213 · Accepted Answer

No it is not a reflection of you. Some people are just loners. I am and some of my freinds are. In highschool we just sat at the losers table for lack of a better place.
After highschool it is a lot harder to make freinds. Many come and go or there will be long peroids of time where you won't meet any.
The problem comes when we start acting invisable over time we do become it. Because we act closed off and look it. Who wants to work to get to know a closed off person. Try working on looking more open to being approached. There are guys who love the duff woman especially out of highschool where it does not matter whom your dating cause they make you happy.
Good luck

Totoro713 · Accepted Answer

I can say I had many "friends" but I still felt as if they pitied to be friends with me and actually find me as a nuisance or they hated me. There's definitely nothing wrong with you, it's just how we define our self-worth and how our minds work. Sometimes, waiting for someone to open up themselves for you may not work. And maybe, you just have to put yourself out there and make yourself be noticed and seen. It's not an easy thing to do but it can be the first step for you to try. You don't need to change to make yourself fit in, it shouldn't matter the region you live in or who you are as a person. Just be you. Someone will be friends with you. Good luck!

goddess87 · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry you feel this way and this is happening to you. I wouldn't say it's bad or good, it just kind of sucks. Highschool is only a short part of your life and after you can reinvent yourself and only associate with the people you want. I also have a "different" "strange" personality from the area in which I live. I have zero the same interests that most do.

Some people may be intimidated by this, but there are also people how love the uniqueness you possess and are instantly drawn to you. Trust me they are out there. You probably just haven't met them yet, but you will

frickles · Accepted Answer

No, it's just school. Once you realize how small of a fraction it is of your life you'll be less concerned with it. But I would recommend having at least one friend you can turn to, so you don't get too lonely.

MrMysteryMan · Answer

I would think anyone would be feel different living in an environment such as what you described. Especially if you're trying to get out of that environment, and you're achieving. It's probably a rough crowd that runs that school in a sense. You're probably not included because they feel you're too "innocent" or a goody two shoes to be around them. Maybe it's the weight, but I feel it's the attitude you have compared to the rest around you. But in that environment, it sounds like you really shouldn't be walking home along.

Bananaman177 · Answer

It's better to be alone than in bad company. People who exclude you are bad company. You don't want to be friends with cunts, believe me.

You're in a bad spot, but there's good spots too. Some people have to bounce around a bit before they find one. But your social life in high school is NOT a good indicator of how your social life will always be.

Go look for other social outcasts to be friends with. They're probably really cool, but just don't fit in with the cunts. Same as you.

huckleberryhound · Answer

I feel an overwhelming amount of young adults, and kids, these days are inappropriately guided on how to act socially. Very immature, and extremely disrespectful which I believe is because that's how their parents are, in most cases, not all. You have to do your best to endure until you can get out into the real world, and maybe out of the situation you are stuck in at the time. Use school for its primary function of getting any education, as much as you can, and try to let these other desires slide for now. Don't give up hope, the worlds a big place, and there's millions of nice, good people out there.

Caracolito · Answer

Hard to vote on that one bc so few options. I bumped in to a Chubby chick and her smile and her ways made me want to know her more.😊😊 I'm tired of this "debate" that girls have to be skinny like they came out of an concentration camp be tall 🎍 like the empire state building 🏢. In my humble opinion I like Chubby girls more because they have a greater personality. Skinny/slim chicks are so sassy and most of them think that they are the Godess to all men 🚹. They just seem to not have soul and personally. Was with a slim girl and that was hot. We smoked and we... all night 🌃 long. Those chics are exeptions though. Chubby chicks know they ways around... More open minded and crazy 😜 So if you have the smile and personality everything will be fine...😊😊😎😙😘

MaiNameIsSunshine · Answer

Highschoolers are highkey dumb as fuck for the most part, pay them no mind. You’ll be fine. Ever need a friend hmu okay dude 👌🏼.

Also have you considered going into writing (whether it be books, movies, tv shows) after hs, you always come up with really interesting hypothetical situations.

Mexicoman101 · Answer

God damn, are you me? That's basically my life, no parties, being the ugly friend, not much of a life past high school, & with a habit of watching (mostly news) blogs on youtube. Lets get married, in the words of the stupid fucking president 'what else do you have to lose?'

Paris13 · Answer

If this is the Case with your own Face, then, These Sleaze are nothing But... Fair Weather Friends.
You are Better off without People like this. One day, you will find Much Better that will Accept you Unconditionally Here, dear, no Fear.
Good Luck. xx

levantine99 · Answer

Highschool is not real life. The popular kids in school end up losers in life more often than not. It could be that you are more mature for your age and not as superficial as your peers, and that could be a reason why you can't blend in. plus the fact that you have a group of friends out of school shows you are not socially incapable.

melendezm651 · Answer

High school life is bullshit. Dont worry about anything that happens because it doesn't defi e who you are. You will make friends outside of high school so dont worry about it. I kind of had the same problem so it will work itself out. Just live your life and dont worry about anything else

Dom47 · Answer

Well i dont know about highschool life since I am not from the United States. What I do know is that you shouldn't Start hangin out with outcasts because you Feel like One. Just be nice and genuine to people, Work on yourself so you have a better Image of you and Everything will come together. I last Year felt like beeing in a similar Position but through One Person you meet others and soon you have a (or multiple) Group/s of Great Friends. Sounds naive but happened to me :)

erich1953 · Answer

This sounds dramatic. But if you try to achieve something with every means it does not usually work. Especially if you describe yourself as fat and ugly, this is also reflected in his body language and the way you give yourself. (just a guess). Provide a self-defense course, become self-confident, find somewhere else friends - there is, let them only find you.

Lumberman53 · Answer

I'm sorry that's happening to you, when I first started high school I initially had a lot of friends. I moved after two years though and I didn't know anyone. I initially made friends and found people to sit with, but my friendships all ended quickly. It got to a point where for a few days. I eventually found a small group of kids I got along with well enough to sit with them.

Ariel1990 · Answer

why u all want people to like u.. u even build your happiness on it.. it ruins your days, weeks, months,.. come on, they r just stupid people.. i personally love being alone, eat alone, walk alone,... dont need anybody

bmalone1986 · Answer

Look, I spent my entire 20's fat, anti-social, giving up on my dreams, not taking care of myself, and in a hopeless relationship because I thought she was the best I could do...

Life is short girl. Get in shape. Get some confidence. Go meet people.

itsallover · Answer

High school is an insignificant part of your life that will be over before you know it. Just focus on your studies and there will be many more opportunities to make good friends when you leave.

Solanaceae · Answer

Sounds like me. You'll be fine. Some days I know it sucks, but don't you sometimes think that at least you have to constantly deal with drama and you get peace and quiet? I get you. All the best <3

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I'm sorry for that happening to you. I know from past experience myself when i see you i see myself and i know it's not easy. But never give up. Hugs

jakeiremonger · Answer

Stop being a duff. Put some effort into your appearance. No one is going to approach someone who looks gross.

missbelieverr · Answer

God loves you. Even if people don't notice you, God notices you. Jesus is the best friend anyone can have.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Is it that no one likes you? Or that you just don't make an effort to be liked or to connect with people? I mean you can't expect to be liked if you don't make the effort.

Is it bad that no one at school likes me and I always sit alone at lunch?

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