Are women only baby makers in society's eyes?

[Anonymous]

I'm almost 21 and lately my boyfriend has told me that quite a few people have commented on us having children. A guy from work said to him that I would look good pregnant, I don't know what that is implying besides asking us when we're having kids etc. His dad also asked him the same question about children and when we're going to have them. My boyfriend also keeps saying he wants one but the fact is I feel like I'm not like most women/girls because I've never had an interest in babies, in fact I've always had a kinda of dislike for them. Ofcourse I think perhaps one day that would change but children kind of annoy me. I think they're gross and full of germs. I went to school with a lot of girls who had "baby fever" at a young age and were constantly babysitting, I babysat once and in my opinion the money wasn't compensation for the headache I had afterwards. I feel like I'm mean or something for not liking babies? Because most women coo over them and adore them, ofcourse I would never hurt a child/baby. I just think they're boring. Infact my boyfriends sister has a two year old and she got pregnant at 20, I just can't help but think she's ruined her life. She doesn't do anything with her life atall now, she doesn't even work. She just stays at home and doesn't pay her way and I'm more of the type of woman who's hard working and believes nothing comes easy and women shouldn't be stay at home moms. I think if you're going to have children you should birth your children spend time bonding and then get your ass back to work. I can't stand stay at home moms who have 5 children, don't birth children you're not going to pay for. My boyfriends sisters child has just turned two and she's already talking about getting pregnant again, I just think that's not all women are for. I also don't think she should be having another baby because she didn't pay for the first one

Updates

+1 y

I know it might seem harsh and blunt, and I know stay at home moms will get offended. But in this day in age women are not just birthing machines, and you definitely shouldn't be having children you're not paying for. For instance my boyfriends sister has everything paid for, her husband pays for her, the rent, the food, everything. I don't think you should have a child and then expect reward when the child is older because in reality what did u do for that child besides birth it?

Updates

+1 y

Pays for her car* moms nowadays are very entitled. My mother was hardworking, she didn't stop working when she had my brother and I. In fact she had a job and went to college and took care of us. I think that gives me and my brother an appreciation to my mom but stay at home mothers are just being lazy. They're using their motherhood to sit at home and live on somebody else's dime

[nofunkgiven]

You're too young to have kids anyway. Neither r u expected to like them or even have them if u don't want to.
I don't see it the way u see it tho. I don't think society thinks of us as only baby makers because men have also a huge role in it, only that they can't get pregnant. If they could that would be a different story so it's natural that most comments go to the mother because she's the one who carries the baby/s for nine months.

As for stay at home mothers, I actually have a lot of respect for them, because they make the efforts to afford the love and attention their children need. They make sure to raise them on their own instead of throwing them to random nannies who can make things worse. But I would have to agree with you about the financial part, that if someone doesn't have enough money to spend on a child, they definitely shouldn't be having many babies.

So Yeah, don't feel pressured to do something u don't wanna do.. it's nice u have an opinion about it and remember, women are all different. Some like babies.. some don't. Some like make up. Some don't. Some like hooking up.. Some don't. I don't see why we have to criticize each other's over such things. We can just accept that we are different

[Asker]

Very nicely put. Some guy up top is very very offended and is attacking me lol. You put it very well and I agree. I just don't agree with women having children they can't afford. That would of been a better way to put it

[nofunkgiven]

Yeah and u couldn't be more right with the financial aspect. And this may change when u grow more.. it did for me.. But even if it doesn't there are plenty of guys who don't want kids.. So u shouldn't feel pressured about it.

[Asker]

Thankyou

[MzAsh]

I’m 34 and I’m glad I haven’t had kids yet. You sound like me. I don’t mind if other women want to be stay at home moms but many of them aren’t happy. They are envious that I have more time, money, freedom, and sex than they do. It’s not for everyone.

[Asker]

People got really offended by my question, I got a lot of backlash. But my thoughts exactly. Not a lot of stay at home moms enjoy their time. It's just the easier route for them.

[MzAsh]

What really offends people is when I talk about how if I have kids I’ll wait until 40ish. They cannot stand the idea of a woman who has her cake and eat it too by putting off motherhood until 40.

[Asker]

Which proves society thinks that's all women are good for

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Of course not! Women are also sandwich makers and cleaners, in society's eyes.

Seriously though, my wife and I decided not to have children and she has taken a whole lot of shit for it. From all four of our parents, from friends, from colleagues, etc.

The wifey has a Ph. D. and is a professor at a fairly prestigious business school. She's been published in the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fast Company, Scientific American, and a slew of academic journals. Fortune 500 companies throw money at her just to talk to them - last year, one of them gave her $35k for a week's worth of work.

Her brother's wife doesn't want kids either. She's a prosecutor in a major American city and she's currently being strongly urged by a lot of her colleagues to run for judge.

And you know what most of the family thinks? They're failures for not having kids.

[Asker]

THANKYOU! My point exactly, she's done amazingly. She's a very strong intelligent independent impressive woman. Yet it will never be good enough to outside people because she's not a mother, my point exactly. I've legitimately gotten so much hate today from my question and your situation is my point exactly. Women get shit on for not being motherly by nature, it's like that's all women are good for. Very sad that society sees it this way. You're getting most impressive post by far. Thanks

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I kinda disagree with you in that I think being a full time mother can be a pretty hard job. Not in terms of intellectual difficulty - it's more about having to always be on the go. It's time consuming, demanding and exhausting insofar as I can tell. So I count being a stay at home mom as a regular job.

I hear a lot of comments - even on this thread - that people who don't have children are selfish and materialistic. I always get a chuckle out of it when people apply high-handed moral judgments on issues like this. I mean, I'm comfortable being materialistic and selfish so that's not really an insult. You should try it sometime - it's pretty great. No instead, you just gave in to one of the most basic animal urges and had *yet another* kid and then proceed to pat yourself on the back for doing what most humans have done for millions of years - often poorly. Give me a break. Having a kid isn't selfless - it's just as self-centered as anything else.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

And yeah, you're so altruistic for dedicating your time and resources to another human for so long. But it's kind of like telling people you're such a selfless guy for putting out that fire you just lit. The world is massively overpopulated, and people continue to pump out babies left and right while they tell themselves *they're the ones* doing it right. It's all self delusion centered around your need to "feel complete" or whatever the fuck it was that caused you breed.

[Asker]

Not arguing with you there, I just think there are plenty of children who need adopting and if you have a need for children so bad instead you should adopt. We don't need anymore children in the world. The worlds over populated. Adopt. I don't think women should pride themselves on marriage and child birth, there's even women out there that judge other mothers for using laughing gas during labor, like oh you didn't have a natural birth shame on you

[ktdec]

Men are the best sandwich makers though if we’re gonna be honest here. Why do you think all the top chefs are men? 😂 I don't know why they’re always begging women to make them haha

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@ktdec You ladies might not make as good a sandwich as us guys can, but still having a sandwich I didn't have to make beats having not having a sandwich any day.

[ktdec]

That’s just called being a fat lazy bitch 😂

[ktdec]

Make your own 😂

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@ktdec I'm comfortable being a fat lazy bitch.

[ktdec]

I bet you are haha

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@ktdec Don't knock it til' you try it

[Moezan]

first off this question is bait af, you know damn well that this society doesn't think woman are just "birthing machines", with all the feminists around we're clearly past that stage lol

i also disagree w your update, my mother stopped working after giving birth, and my dad was the main source of our income. Does that mean she is contributing nothing to the child's growth? No. She cooks, cleans, washes, nurtured, etc me and my siblings on a daily basis whilst growing up, and she's a tough woman for that, it isn't easy. Obviously, not every stay at home mum is a saint and does her job, but don't generalize.

If you wanna get technical, biologically, women usually seek males that can provide for and protect her and their offspring, so it isn't exactly abnormal for some woman to be a "stay at home mum".

[Asker]

But how would your mother cook and clean wash and nurture you without your dad, the only way your mother was able to do that was because of your dad. Would you want your child to grow up and think my mom stayed at home, my dad paid for me to live, so without my dad I'd be nothing. Sure your mother stayed at home with you but without your dad you wouldn't of survived. Your mom didn't attribute anything but her love and attention in reality. That's my point, if it wasn't for your dad you wouldn't be here. I feel like women are too entitled now, and people are getting way too offended by my question. I feel like after your maternity is up a woman should go back to work but most women don't. I think a man and woman should juggle the child the parents should have split shifts. So the child is never alone. the mother should stay home during the day with the child and when the father comes home he should take over so the mother should go to work. Or vice versa

[Asker]

I don't think the money earning should be solely stressed on the father, it's not the 60's men shouldn't have to be the bread winner anymore. Also ofcourse it was rhetorical because most of the time in most societies women are baby makers and that's it. Plus there are a lot of women who choose not to have children who are hounded and judged constantly so yes women are usually seen souly as baby makers.

[Moezan]

that's why they're in a relationship tho, to commit and support each other.
Obviously, if my dad wasn't there, she'd work, and vice versa. (I did state that my mother worked before giving birth for the first time).

Without my dad, I wouldn't be here, but also, without my mum, I wouldn't be here either. They both contributed to my growth in different ways. My child would never grow up thinking one parent did all the work, because he or she will understand that we played different roles to ensure they grew up healthy, just like I understood.

Also no offense, but this is how you sound, "I need to wear the pants of the house in order to be recognized as independent and important to my child's growth". I just don't get it. The thing I can agree w you on tho is about the women who do absolutely nothing and just leech off their husbands for money, which is trashy but they're a minority.

[Moezan]

To add on something personal, in my culture, usually the father is the provider and protector, whilst the mother is the nurturer. Society nowadays likes to pass this off as “stereotypical gender roles”, but like it or not, this is life, and it’s been scientifically proven this is how we’re naturally wired. Does this mean women can’t work or be independent? No. But dismissing our nature given roles is hazardous for the future of humanity. We’re too caught up in this political bullshit that we’ve forgotten how to live happily together.
So I have no problem being the provider for my family, provided my wife is also contributing in other ways. In the end, as long as we enjoy life, create memories and grow old together with healthy children, imma be content w my life

[Asker]

I think we need more independent hard working women in the world. so I guess that is how I sound. I also went to school with a girl who was obsessed with children, which is great. That's totally fine but when all the other girls were planning their graduation and college plans and their careers, she was asked what she was going to do after college. She said nothing, I'm going to be a mom. The teacher laughed ok Laura but what's your goal after highschool and she said pregnancy, she had it all planned out. I'm going to be married by 25 ano pregnant by 27. I will not be having children by 30 that's too late. I found it utterly sad.

[Asker]

That was all she was willing to do with her life, I think it's sad some women think that is all they need to accomplish to be successful. I don't understand the constant competition between women of marriage and pregnancy. Just pathetic, as women we should amount to more. And then once we're done living and experiencing our own life then we should create one.

[Asker]

Like my boyfriends sister, she got out of highschool and didn't do anything. She never got a job she accidentally got pregnant and then she smugly gloats about having a child and being married like that's something to gloat about. She also doesn't associate with people who don't have children, almost in a judgmental unnacepting attitude. Like if you don't have a baby you're not worth my time,

[Moezan]

Everyone is different lol, you can't expect every single woman to want the same thing you do. There are different visions of accomplishment. To others, having children and settling down may be their goal, whilst yours isn't.

Also let's be real, no one wants to work. We work for survival, it's modern day slavery, and that isn't an accomplishment. We're here for a short time, and then we're gone. Putting your energy and worrying about money, work, etc all the time will leave you miserable af girl, you gotta stop worrying about such pointless things. Live a happy life, no one wants to have regrets on their death bed.

[Asker]

True, but you shouldn't push money worries and the stake of your livelihood and survival on your husband either, but I'm gonna shut my mouth now have a nice day

[Moezan]

Your boyfriend's sister sounds like the minority I mentioned in my first comment.

[Moezan]

ya haha good convo tho

thanks, you too

[Asker]

Agreed.

[englisc]

I think that women like yourself are kind of brainwashed to think this way. So many young women today think the same way - if they thought like this in the past we'd be extinct. Wanting a child is the most natural thing in the world, and for some reason so many see it as a negative thing. It's dysfunctional.

In a lot of discussions about this people seem to look down on young parents - and by young parents I mean people in their 20s. The thing is your 20s are your most fertile years, the years when you're the least likely to experience difficulties getting pregnant and carrying the baby.

But people today tend to encourage people to wait until their 30s, when you're less fertile. They tell you to focus on your career and money instead. Today I think people are more materialistic than ever, maybe this has something to do with the mentality.

I think a lot of the time people look down on young parents because we often hear about young irresponsible people who have kids they can't afford, maybe get pregnant through hook ups or whatever, and because of that they automatically assume that to be the case most of the time.

Add to that this materialistic mindset where the purpose of your life is to make as much money and buy as many nice things as you can - children are then seen as a burden.

Really, being a parent is one of the most important and most fulfilling jobs in the world. It's a lot more than being a "baby making machine" - a term that disgusts me.

We're young parents according to some. Some people were shocked when we had our first at 23/22 because to them we were too young. But we've done well, everyone says how great we are as parents. Our kids want for nothing. Our life is far from ruined, there's nothing better than coming home from work and having the kids run up to me to give me a hug. I wouldn't trade that for more money and things. I think there's something wrong with you if you live things more than people, especially children.

[Asker]

You just twisted my whole opinion, I never said I was materialistic one bit. And you were too young to have kids. I said a man shouldn't have to be forced to work his ass off and stress to keep the food on the table for a selfish woman who wants to constantly give birth and attribute nothing but children. If a woman is going to give birth to babies and then earn the money to feed them and clothe them and make sure they have everything they need, by all means, but there are too many women out there willing to do nothing but give birth and leave it to the father to pay for the rest. As a young father yourself you know the difficulty and the struggle that comes win having a child and how expensive it is. I simply don't agree with mother not paying their way for the children they create. I had a example like my boyfriends sister who wants another child yet her husband pays for everything can you imagine the stress he has to deal with on a everyday basis. They can't afford another child

[Asker]

They're on one income, yet she wants to go on vacation and have extravagant things. I don't think multiplying your family but not helping you husband is good. The child was an accident, they had him too young. She didn't want to get pregnant, now the child's two and she's already wanting another that I know her husband doesn't want. I think that's selfish. And that's what I mean by women thinking they're baby making machines, that's not all women are good for and they need to get the idea out of their head that a child and marriage makes you successful. There is more to life than children

[englisc]

*love things more than people

I also think that your ideas about stay at home Mothers is wrong. There's a difference between staying home and putting nothing into your children, and staying home and outting everything into them.

There's much more to being a parent than earning money to feed them. Kids aren't plants, they don't raise themselves. They need attention, love, guidance. The role of a Mother isn' just to birth them.

If she's a stay at home Mother who just parks her kid in front of a TV all day, maybe you're right. But if she engages with them and raises them properly, that's not easy work.

Not only is it not easy work - many studies show that kids with a stay at home parent do better on average when it comes to education, in comparison to kids who attend daycare.

Because you see parenting as just birthing a kid and feeding it, in kind of an emotionally detached way, you're not looking at these thing. You've been poisoned with feminist nonsense.

[Asker]

She's 23 now, she has a car, she has a new iPhone, she has a house, she has a gym membership, she gets tattoo's and she doesn't pay for any of it. She even has her parents paying her gym membership. That's how little independence she has. I just don't think you deserve things you didn't earn.

[Asker]

What's wrong with wanting a child and paying for it aswell? You're also teaching the child to have attachment issues when it's time to go to school, the child is used to having its mom by its side 24/7. The child's going to have a really difficult time being separate from its mom. I'm not a feminist

[englisc]

You are a feminist, whether or not you label yourself one. Not one of your thoughts is originally your own, you've been fed all of these lines and ideas, and they're all feminist ideas.

I know that some women like the one you described are gold-digging leeches. That's why I was very careful about who I chose to settle down with.

Most of your views are backwards, I don't think you really understand how or why. We're taught so much bullshit today about what's the proper way to raise children, things that sound like they make sense - but the evidence tells otherwise. Often these things are actually very damaging to a child, and the things that people think are damaging are very good for them.

You mention attachment issues - did you know that kids who are put into daycare too early are more likely to have behavioural issues? Including attachment issues. They aren't meant to be separate from their Mother at too young of an age. When separated from parents too early (cont...)

[englisc]

When separated from parents too early, studies show that their stress levels raise. The stress hormone cortisol raises. Studies show that kids under 3 in daycare have higher cortisol levels than kids who stay home with their Mothers - more so in young boys. This is what causes things like anxiety.

This affects their brain development too, because at such a young age their brain is developing rapidly - with a high amount of cortisol. Notice how so many of our generation seem to suffer with anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses? We're the daycare generation. Daycare is pushed as this great thing that encourages independence, really it's responsible for all of this damage.

Now, my oldest son is almost 4. He's old enough now that he can go to daycare without those effects. He has less anxiety about it than most other kids his age, because we didn't send him in too early. He has no attachment issues at all.

[Asker]

I'm a psychology major so I know a lot that you wouldn't think. I'm not a feminist and I don't read into other people's bullshit. Or listen to people's opinions. I'm my own person and these are my own thoughts because I'm not following anyone. Think what you want I've argued with far too many opinionated and rude people today so do as you please and think as you will. I also know there are plenty of people out their that think nurturing their child means breastfeeding their infant until 3/4 and that's just straight up weird so that's more damaging than "bonding"

[Asker]

But most people are stupid so I don't need to talk to every idiot I come across good day

[englisc]

You can't know that much if you don't know the things I just mentioned about raised cortisol levels in kids who are separated from their parents too early and how that affects brain development.

[Asker]

Didn't say I didn't know that, see dumb people assuming.

[englisc]

If you did know that, you wouldn't say that young kids who stay home with their Mothers will have attachment issues, because you'd understand that that's just not how it works.

[Asker]

Also you're generalizing for all kids, statics show otherwise. Not all kids are the same. It's funny how the mother stayed home with her baby yet the first words to come out of his mouth was daddy, and that he's picked up more of his fathers traits after spending 11 hours a day souly with his mother. So generalizing is bullshit. Kids learn differently and kids pick up things differently not two kids are the same. So what I'm saying is a woman can sit at home all day and nurture and attend to the child but it doesn't mean the child's going to have a closer bond with her. In fact it's backfired, he sits at the window all day asking for his father. He doesn't want his mom, he won't cuddle her he only cuddles daddy, he looks spitting image of his father and his father is away at work all day. Being a stay at home mom isn't always best. And studies have shown kids who have mothers who Molly cuddle them do have attachments issues and are less independent

[Asker]

Also her staying at home with him instead of putting him in daycare and getting a part time job has stunted her child, because he is never around other children so he's aggressive with them. He's used to be the centre of attention so he's violent towards other children, and that's because his mother has overstayed her welcome and should of put him into daycare. He claws other kids faces and freaks out and hurls objects and toys at them, so being a stay at home mom past maternity leave is a bad idea

[englisc]

It seems like you're basing your opinion on one kid you know. I am kind of generalising too I guess, and I did use the example of my own kid/kids. However, statistics show that in general kids in daycare have higher cortisol levels than kids who stay home with their Mothers - some don't, there are always exceptions of course, but the majority do. That kid looking for his Father doesn't disprove this at all.

To give another example: today many parents use the "cry it out method" where they leave their kid in a room by themselves to cry themselves to sleep. They claim that this teaches them to "self-soothe". Studies show that actually, even though the kid might stop crying and go to sleep, they have raised cortisol levels for hours afterwards.

This obsession with forcing kids to be independent at too early an age is damaging because those raised cortisol levels are what cause behavioural issues.

[Asker]

Is your wife a stay at home mom? Do she not work?

[englisc]

She's a stay at home Mother, yes. For a brief amount of time she worked because she does enjoy work, but the reason she stays home is for them. When she did work it affected the kids negatively. We see a clear difference in their behaviour when she's at home vs working. Also, all of the things I mentioned seem to affect young boys more so than young girls, perhaps because they mature at a slower rate - and we have two boys.

[Asker]

Why don't you stay home with them?

[englisc]

Because she breastfeeds the little one.

[Asker]

Ohhhh😂 Come on man you can do that

[englisc]

I can't, there's no milk in these tiddies - just solid muscle. It's a real shame.

[Asker]

LMAO, anyways lad nice debate. Have a good one

[ArchersArrow]

To reply to your question , No. Women and men are humans we both love children and want to have kids. You can't have children without a man and a man can't have children without a woman. What's different is the responsibilities they share between each other. The toughest job in the world is raising your kids If you really are a hard worker then you will love doing it. There're many questions you should ask yourself such as Do you have enough time and money to afford having a child right now? If not then surely you have to postpone that matter until you reach a stable financial status. If you can afford having a child while you and your husband work and you both agree on who takes what responsibilities for the child and your partner is a dependable person then why not have a child?

[Asker]

Agreed, that's my whole question. But people seem to think I'm being a woman hater and a man hater but in fact I'm just stating my opinion that you shouldn't expect your husband to carry the financial weight alone. That's all , people have just spent the day calling me evil, a troll, a bitch, moron, idiot, incompetent, feminist, bigot etc. All because I said women shouldn't have children they can't afford

[ArchersArrow]

Who cares about what people say anyway. Believe me it's all about prospective , people often don't agree with you on something while they're actually doing it

[AlienChickk]

Actually I understand where you are coming from. I find babies cute, but for an extended period of time I can't deal with them too well. The idea of motherhood and just giving birth frightens me as well. I see all the people I went to school with already having a one kid and more, and I can't imagine being a mom at only 20. I do think some people still have this POV, but I'm in a serious relationship and almost everyone tells me to wait and to focus on myself. A child is hard work though, and I don't a 100% agree with your view on them being lazy. A lot of house wives keep the house clean, when the children are very young they take a lot of time and attention, they cook and clean, some of them might have hobbies. Some house wives are lazy and don't do anything, but some do other things. It's also been proven that children who have a parent at home at all times typically are happier, so I don't see anything wrong. with it, despite I never want to be a stay at home parent.

[Asker]

I worded my question alittle wrong I discovered that today, there were far too many people offended and exploding over my question. I just feel like if mothers want to use the "I have my hands full" card, and say they don't have time I just think it's bullshit. I know there are women out there that have no drive to do anything else but be a mother. But it's also not the hardest job in the world, my mother refused to have nannies and she wouldn't let relatives take care of us. She just knew she was the best option of taking care of her kids so during the day she would take care of me and my brother then when my dad would come home from work she would hand us off to our father and he would get us ready for bed and make us dinner whilst she went to college for a few hours and then after college, the night shift. Then my dad would go to work the next morning so she would be back watching us so women that are stay at

[Asker]

Home moms I don't think are entirely doing the most. but who am I to judge? I just know of women who don't even cook or clean while they're home and then they also have a babysitter and I just don't understand how? When you're a stay at home mom why do u need a babysitter to go run errands? Take your child with you I mean that's why your husband allows you to stay home. It's not the hardest job in the world there's more you could do, but it's not the easiest either

[xEmmorixX]

I mean if the guy is fine with it and the woman is fine with it. It's really no one else's business.
I mean there are still guys weirdly who want that.
I personally don't think stay at home mom's are lazy. Maybe some but not all. I mean you understand how difficult children can be. There's no short cuts to get around that. There are people that would probably kill the kids day one. Though yeah I could see how it would be abused by some people. I mean you have the right to not want to have children and want others to respect that. Stay at home mother's have just as much right as well.
I've seen women who are very passionate about it. Though I honestly may never have kids myself. It's actually heartwarming to see. I'm not a big fan of the idea, but some do work hard to care for their children and husband.

[Lance1965]

Some men think like that but at the same time there are women who only want a guy so she can have kids. Once she has the family she wants she dumps the guy for the child support payments which makes her seem just like a baby-maker and not much else in the eyes of a lot of people but that is justified. I know women who had kids purely for the child support and so she can stay at home and never have to work and most of them are terrible mothers.

[Asker]

Exactly lance, my point exactly. Yet men on this question are reading it all wrong.

[BipBipLeddus]

Maybe in the 50s. I think we're still regarded as "homemakers" and raising children comes with the territory. But it's not like people are thinking that women exist for the sole purpose of carrying on a family name anymore. There certainly was a time when that was the case.

[bamesjond0069]

In general yes. Here is why. A man is worth nothing when he is born. He has to make money to have an economic value. Women are born with about (id estimate it to be) about $300,000 of equipment in between their legs (compare price of eggs and sperm donations). So until a woman is financially worth over $300k net worth, her reproductive and sexual assets far exceed anything else she does. It would be equivalent to if you saw a completely broke homeless man in a gutter who was wearing a $300k platinum diamond bling bling necklace. What do you think people would ask him about? Tell him to sell to make money? Be his friend so they could try it on and take pics... you get the idea.

So unless you make bank as a woman, you will always be seen for your assets in one way or another.

But would you prefer to be born broke? Lol

[CuChullan]

My S/O feels exactly the same. It doesn't bother me at all.
Things can change over time, and you may feel different. But for now, your wishes should be respected. Your boyfriend should be listening to you and not be influenced by others.

[Asker]

Thanks dude, recognize the name. Welcome back to one of my questions

[Anonymous]

Obviously we’re not just baby makers nowadays. Like you, I’ve never been interested in kids, and those who find out act like it’s a huge deal. However, housewives and stay at home parents do hold some very large responsibilities and aren’t lazy. That being said, it’s your life so if you don’t want that lifestyle, don’t let anyone pressure you into it.

[Daniel3035]

Not really no i’ve never seen girls as that. Tbh I think of both genders are baby makers after all both parents get morning sickness etc.
And even if so i’d be jealous and happy if I could be the baby carrier. And you girls do look good pregnant there’s no doubt it’s a new look it’s like girls like dad bods well for us that our mum bod 😂

[Apple1996]

I'm 22 with 2 kids and my husband pays for it all. I don't think it's wrong for a man to support his family. I take care of my kids 24/7 with no help. It's your choice if u want a baby or not. But dont be this harsh towards sahm

[Asker]

How come? Did you not want to share the responsibility of raising your kids and bringing in income, my question was put wrongly

[Apple1996]

My hubby is army it's near impossible for me to get a job. His schedule is always changing. I'm the only person able to watch my kids. If I worked I'd pay all the money I'd make towards daycare.

[Asker]

Do you regret having kids so young?

[Apple1996]

No. I want to have all my kids now so when there older I can work. I could never do it when I'm old, I'd rather have kids while I'm young and my body can do it easily

[Asker]

Don't think it's an excuse what so ever tbh, I think you're using your husband as a financial crutch. If you wanted to work you'd find a way, there's better ways to handle things you're just using the changing schedule as an excuse because you're not willing to work. Imagine it the opposite way around and your husband decided to stay home, I don't think you realize the stress that's on him constantly to support the three of you with no help. Yes being a mother can be difficult but you're not the first mom and you won't be the last, people manage and they get by. I just don't agree with having children and then deciding I'm not gonna pay for them, this is why majority of men don't want children anymore because men are treated as atm's.

[Asker]

As for the my money will be going towards daycare, that's false as its your husbands job too, to split payments for your children. There are plenty of good day cares out their aswell, with cameras nowadays to assure your child is being treated right. Are you going to go your whole life not working and have teenage children and say oh I can't work because my kids need to be driven places, pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Your husbands a soldier, he has enough stress. It would alieviate a lot for him if you helped bring some income in, the least you can do is get s part time job. I bet your children aren't even babies anymore. So there's no excuse, shouldn't of had children if you weren't willing to pay for them and juggle, that's what being a mom is about. Multitasking, there are plenty of work from home jobs there's literally no excuse. Do you feel lazy and guilty sitting at home all day having everything you use and do paid for?

[Apple1996]

My husband loves supporting us. He wants to be with someone whose willing to stay at home with the kids. And his job isn't stressful, he's been deployed twice and chilled overseas. And most days he doesn't have a lot of stress. He tells me everyday that he could never do my job. I'm always busy I've been breastfeeding for 18 months and its more work than you'll ever do in a job. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row in the last 4 years. And if never put my kids in daycare I made them so I have to take of them. In nature mothers are suppose to take care of there children not have others watch them.

[Apple1996]

by the way when I got with my husband he had no job, no house , no anything. I'm not with him for money. I got with him cuz I love him

[Asker]

In your case I think it's appropriate, but you have to agree there are women out their that are like that?

[Apple1996]

Yes I know so many army wives with no kids and they stay at home all day and do nothing and live off there husbands. If I didn't have kids I'd at least be doing college or working

[Asker]

Wow that's fucked up, how can they not feel guilty

[Taylor_C]

You’re 21. You shouldn’t even think about having kids until close to 30 or older.

[Asker]

Agreed. It's just the comments where it's like ok but cannot not live my life? I'm not just born to make children, it's 2018. Women that choose not to have kids get judged.

[Taylor_C]

Exactly. Stand your ground girl

[Asker]

Thankyou

[vald9inches]

women are not only baby maker but they are the only babymakers lol

[sugarchateau]

^^^^^^^^^^^^ 👌🏻

[vald9inches]

@sugarchateau hahaha ;P

[Gottabsavagee]

I think they just said that cause y'all been together for a long time and get along well.

After you find a true love you have babies lol don’t take it personally.

And yeah there’s no set time to have babies, have them when you want them actually.

[Malik00]

I kind of agree with this. Frankly i feel if a girl wants to be a stay at home mom, she really just wants to take advantage of the husband.

[Asker]

I think so too but apparently that's wrong of me to think that according to my feedback from people

[Malik00]

No no if anything the fact that you feel this way means i can trust you more, if nothing else i know you won't try to rope someone into marriage to exploit them. I can't speak for all men but for me, that's an admirable trait.

[Asker]

Thankyou, that's a good compliment. I just would like to pay my way, for instance I know a lot of women who let their boyfriends pay for everything, every meal etc. We split hundred percent of the time, at the beginning of our relationship I didn't work so when we would go for dates he would pay for things so I quickly got a job so I could treat him too he wouldn't accept me paying him back for dates and stuff so I just caught up quickly by buying him nice meals and gifts I heard him say he wanted, now we just split majority of our meals and outings. I would never let him pay for anything, I have legs I should earn money too. i just don't think it's necessary for one day if we have children for me to forget all my work ethic and get into the mindset that "I have my hands full" with my child, I can't possibly work aswell. I just think it's a way for women to become lazy just because they did one thing that billions of other women do and are expected to do.

[Malik00]

We could really use more women like you.

[Asker]

I think it's bullshit if women say they aren't trying to get out of working by becoming a stay at home mom, because you are lets be honest. Nobody likes to work but it's just life, I think women can use pregnancy as a crutch to lean on their husband financially. My boyfriend two older sisters both don't work, admittedly the one with the two year old has some time to figure out if she's going to get a job but by the sounds of it she probably won't ever go back to work she will just continue to milk the mother thing, because she's never had a job and she's been out of highschool for 5 years and she sat on her ass jobless the whole time even minus the baby. Now she's just talking about another baby instead of getting a job. I just don't agree with forcing babies that you don't pay for. His other older sister had three kids,5,10, and 13. She's a stay at home mom and she doesn't need to be, she brings in no income what so ever. All of her children are enrolled in school

[Malik00]

Exactly Like at least get a part time job so you got your own money to burn.

[Asker]

Exactly and the way I see it, you're giving the man all the upper hand. He can say what happens and what doesn't, having no money of your own and living of a man makes him able to do what he wants. My boyfriends sister's partner is a creep and he's cheated on her with other girls, his wife is 22 and he cheated on her Infront of me with a 18 year old girl. But she's leaving the door open to things like that because the way he sees it, he makes all the money he can do whatever he wants. He cheated on her whilst she was pregnant. I told my boyfriend and he said "my sister would never leave hi I don't think, because he makes all the money every thing she owns and uses is paid by him, she's got no backbone because she never earned a back bone, she can't support herself." So she'll get treated like shit behind her back because she's not offering him anything but children he doesn't want. She's very materialistic it's awful her whole life revolves around impressing people on social media.

[Asker]

Instead of posting something actually impressive like I bought myself a new car, I got a good raise at work or I got promoted. she posts "I'm pregnant" constant Pictures of her baby "he proposed" "wedding" "honeymoon". Her phone bills are paid for my him, if she needs a new phone he buys it, she drives her own car and he pays for insurance and gas, they live in their own home and he pays the rent, he also pays his own vehicle, everything she wears he paid for, she buys the kid new toys it's from his pocket. She got a new tattoo the other week, she definitely didn't pay for it, date night every Thursday she doesn't pay a dime.

[Malik00]

Ouch... never thought of it that way. I always thought it would be the women who had the advantage because they can just use the promise of sex to get whatever they want and if they start biting back they call abuse or w/e.

But either way it just proves my point, you can't talk about how abused you are and then bring up crap like that. You made that bed, so now you gotta lie in it.

[Malik00]

Good lord! Even I pay for my own phone bill... what the hell?

[Asker]

Oh I forgot the gym membership aswell, she drops the kid off with the grandma sometimes too I'm like you're a stay at home mom? Why do u need a babysitter, what's the point😂

[Malik00]

And this is why i can't take feminism seriously anymore. especially considering the person you're talking about. It just feels like a bunch of privileged princesses complaining about how they are not privileged enough.
I've always said that a lot of women get to play life on easy mode, and this just proves my point.

[Asker]

For me it's very annoying, I'm probably coming across jealous because I am jealous. Life isn't that easy for most of us. I can't move out of my parents house because I can't afford it, I have a full time job and I'm enrolling into college soon, but I have to pay for college first. she's got none of this worries her only thought is she wants another baby, it's just pathetic to me. They live on their own land, in their own house. She has her own car and I don't, because I can't afford that + school. I also don't have a phone because I can't afford the phone bill. It's just very frustrating to me to see her have it so easy And not know the struggle of wanting to go on vacation because we deserve one but not having the money right now because we both have other things that need it more. At her wedding she got handed $1000 as a gift. In what world would I get that?

[Asker]

My boyfriends two sisters both don't work and his mom has only ever worked two days a week and now quit her job. I said the women in your family have no work ethic they just want tone kept by men it's kind of sad.

[Malik00]

2 days? And here I thought i was being lazy by only working 4 hours a day. 5 days a week but only 2? My lord...

[Malik00]

Not to mention as a woman you can get away with SO MUCH its honestly absurd.
In fact i a made a my take on it a while back

Why I Consider Myself an Egalitarian ↗

Go take a look.

[Asker]

He said my mom bleeds my dad dry, his dad had an old banged up truck that doesn't even run anymore and his mom has a brand new mustang. she likes to be taken on vacation once a year, plus weekend trips. She's very pampered, designer and expensive products all around. Their house they built is worth over $2mil. But she didn't earn any of it. I don't know how you can possibly say this is my house?

[Malik00]

Easy be a manipulative, entitled cunt.

[Asker]

Will do, thanks for conversing with me

[Malik00]

No problem. But seriously people wonder why i'm so picky when it comes to women?

[GreenGold1992]

To most men, yes women are just baby makers in society's eyes.

You should really do a MyTake on these things, this would make a good article.

[Asker]

Hmm thanks

[GreenGold1992]

you're welcome

[Wifflesnoofer63]

Only for the next few years. Once artificial wombs are perfected, females will become obsolete

[NoPoliticsPlease]

That will suck we should reduce the number of people not make even more than usual we will run out of resources quick

[Wifflesnoofer63]

@NoPoliticsPlease the population will quickly be cut in half. Women are only alive because men allow it. Once women are no longer needed to continue the species, they will die out.

[NoPoliticsPlease]

Man how would that ever happen? Men will always want sex an not from something aritificial when there is real flesh out there.

[Wifflesnoofer63]

@NoPoliticsPlease Blame women for making themselves toxic.

[Asker]

I'm open to hear how you think that? @wifflesnoofer63

[NoPoliticsPlease]

Wiffle do you got some issues going on you need to think about? lol

[Wifflesnoofer63]

@NoPoliticsPlease I'm merely extrapolating the current trend to its logical conclusion. Women will either be allowed to die out, or they will be brutally subjugated back to the organic sex toys they have always been. Personally, I'm okay with either option.

[NoPoliticsPlease]

I am not ok with it lol

[MzAsh]

Ha yeah right. There will always be men who can’t resist. Nice revenge fantasy though.

[NoPoliticsPlease]

@MzAsh I am one of them lol

[Wifflesnoofer63]

@MzAsh

[Wifflesnoofer63]

@MzAsh Don't get me wrong. I love pussy. But as you get older you realize most of the time the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

[MzAsh]

Good men know how to attract and keep good women.

[ktdec]

I can’t wait for that to happen! No more unwanted/forced pregnancies and no more abortions. Then we can just get our tubes tied at a young age. And all children that are created will actually be wanted

[Shimy]

I feel the same towards kids, pregancy and motherhood tbh. I think when the question will pop I'll just say that I can't have children.

[esotericstory]

No, women are more of a market asset to society, you know, work for 40 hour work weeks for 40 years long and then get retired and thanked for making your boss a richer man.

[Benedek38]

That's people, not women. And men have been doing it for thousands of years.

[Browneye57]

Hope you like cats... cuz you're not going anywhere with the guys. It will always fail with your men-hating attitude. Oh well.

[HereIbe]

She's not just man-hating. She's also woman-hating. She hates any women who doesn't make the EXACT same choices she does. She's a little nazi.

[Browneye57]

@HereIbe - LOL. Made me laugh.
I didn't even read it all cuz this crap is what the FI spews out and too many girls buy into it hook line and sinker.
Women are more than baby makers, but gee, if you WANT to start a family and want to have a child then please be there to raise it, not think you can do EVERYTHING and put your child off on some daycare to raise FOR you. It's all a fail.

And make sure you pick a good guy and KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE TOGETHER. The kids don't do nearly as well with a broken home. Seriously. Everybody has this SO backwards.

[Asker]

How do I have a man hating attitude? Omg that's ridiculous I'm in fact sticking up for men? Re read my post? I'm stating that women shouldn't expect men to pay their way because they had a child?

[Browneye57]

Well, yes they should. So that she can actually raise her offspring.
Regardless of what the FI is telling you, you simply cannot do it ALL. Choose for yourself. And choose your man carefully.
Choose wisely, treat kindly. __Dr. Laura

[Asker]

My boyfriends sister has a child who is of age to go to daycare, the husband doesn't want another baby because he doesn't want to pay for two kids while she sits at home. She doesn't help him yet she wants the world

[HereIbe]

How the fuck does that mean that all stay-at-home mothers are like that?

[Browneye57]

If she's taking care of their child, providing for him and the household, she's likely doing exactly what they both want. Stay the fuck out of it. Seriously.

[Asker]

@HereIbe you're acting like a little bitch tbh. You're honestly not good at reading, my boyfriends sister is one of the women who purposely have children to get out of working. What I'd like to understand is why you're feeling so attacked that you need to keep insulting me? I know plenty of women who are hounded daily about why they haven't had a baby yet, which is insinuating that that is all she is good for. And I don't agree with the fact that just because some women live their lives for kids that others should be shamed for being the opposite and living their lives for themselves. their are plenty of actresses in Hollywood who talk about the constant judgement simply because they choose to live their lives child free. You're misreading what I'm saying. I'm not judging women who stay home, I'm judging women who stay home purposely to be paid for. Stay at home moms who dedicate their lives to their children is even involved in this question, it's the women like my boyfriends sister

[Asker]

Why are you so angered anyway, it's kind of weird

[HereIbe]

Therefore, your boyfriend's sister is ALL women who stay at home, right? She's 100% representative of them all.

You are an evil, whiny, STUPID little bitch. I have ALREADY STATED that women without children should not be criticized for such. However, women who do have children, including stay-at-home mothers, have the SAME FUCKING RIGHT! But you're too much of a pig-ignorant BIGOT and MORON to understand that.

I GET it. You're a hate-filled, nasty, evil, self-centered little fascist who cannot STAND the idea that some people might freely make different life choices than you do.

If YOU deserve to not be put down for YOUR choices, then others deserve to not be put down BY YOU for THEIR choices. It's that simple. You're too evil to get that.

[Asker]

@HereIbe lol shut the fuck up. I'm guessing by your hate fuel you have a pussy. You're one that's for sure. Pull your tampon out and go have a coffee and calm down.

[HereIbe]

You don't like being called out on your bigotry, do you?

[Asker]

@HereIbe how so

[HereIbe]

Pretty obvious by the way you hit the roof when it's pointed out that you are doing the same thing to people who didn't make your life choices as you hate done to you for your life choices.

[Asker]

@HereIbe actually I'm not a bigot, you're just an idiot. I already said don't have children you can't afford. This is why there are so many children dropped off in child care and don't have good homes because they were born without the thought of financial stability.

[Asker]

Are you actually mentally retarded? I didn't hit the roof you actual psychopath, you did. You instantly started insulting

[Asker]

She's not doing anything, she popped out a baby. Sits at home. Has her house her car paid for then expects him to take her to 5 star resorts

[Browneye57]

OMFG - take a chill pill. The bote-a-ya's. :)

Asker - quit judging your boyfriend's sister - just stay out of it. Decide what YOU want for YOUR life and start working on that. You'll get WAY more out of it, I promise. :)

[Asker]

@browneye57 I only judge her because she doesn't associate with people who don't have children, its very judgmental and rude. She has this attitude like if you don't have a child don't talk to me. She's also the same age as me so I figured we would be friends but she only speaks to mothers, and when you talk to her she acts very uninterested in talking to you, but will sit there for hours with other moms talking about babies.

[Asker]

There is one other female in the family who is 27 who also don't want children and they hound her about it like her womb is their business. My boyfriends sister also doesn't talk to her, but she talks to the other wife of her cousin who has a baby

[Browneye57]

Amazing you give a shit.
I will tell you I was just like you. I didn't want children, should have left my first wife before I did. But we ended up with two before I dumped her. I was 32 before I had the first one.

My sister had two, and we got really caught up with watching them grow up, so decided to have one after eight years married. I loved it. Just not the wife. Should have waited, cuz that divorce cost me right about a half-mil. Yes, about $500,000.

People ask why divorce is so expensive... the answer is... BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!!

My advice... quit being so fussy and simply be polite. You don't have to get along, don't even have to like her. I mean, just how much time do you spend together with her anyway? Simply be polite - that's it. Screw her and her fussy bullshit. It's her prerogative.

[Asker]

Okay thanks for the advice will do