Is it better to be loved or feared?

[just_a_potato]

This question recently came up in an essay I have to write and I'm not quite sure yet. What do you guys believe?

Feared

Loved

I'm in between

[witchylittlegirl]

Honestly just personally I would rather everyone in the world fear me then love me and thats how I look at that question because i can always make a least one person not fear me then i would have a least one person to talk to and even if I couldnt i got animals and music and food so like who cares

[Anonymous]

If people love you, they'll do stuff for you. That's also true if they fear you, but if they fear you, you won't get as much affection and positive bonding

[Anpu23]

Machiavelli says it is better to be both, but as you cannot control their love, you can certainly control their fear. So it is the only option available.

[Anpu23]

Thanks for MHO

[nightdrot]

Was going to write my own piece, but this nailed it and probably is less than half the words that I - in my usual long winded way - would have used. Thumbs up.

Though I would add that it is true in a political context that it is true. Ditto generally in one's professional life, up to a point.

However, in one's personal life it is arguable that love is better. Fear will get us the results we want, but not the affection and "connection" that we need. So in that sense the answer is a qualified one.

Still and all, nuances aside, the author of this opinion - drawing on Machiavelli, for which I give a tip of the hat to this obviously well educated writer - is bang on.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You're always feared if you're being loved but you can't guarantee being loved if you're feared.

[UnknownReflection]

In between.

Being loved is the most important. Being loved provides you a share of compassion and community which results in security and potential loyalty from the surrounding. Being feared however, it means everyone are your enemies and you don't have space to make a mistake. Everyone are waiting for the chance to take you down like the hungry wolfs who are waiting for their fellow to fall asleep in order to eat them. Being loved, you have the luxury of positive manipulation. If you want to, you have space to keep everything smooth and going even if you are doing dirty work behind the scene regardless of the aim. An intelligent leadership takes that into account. When people loves you, it means, there is a chance that you are fairly trusted, you are get to be listened and people can be vulnerable toward you. Therefore, you can set everything accordingly. You can pursuit as you wish and no one would suspect you because of your image. The cover of being loved is a sparkling luxury that keeps your hands open to be secretly dirty when necessary and be protected by the angelic image you have created for the people. I'm not speaking of being morally wrong and being loved wrongly. But being loved is a safe space which gives you multiple choices of behaviors, being feared, is restricted and upfront. You know you have no fan and no one will back you up when things gets complicated.

But i've said in between. It means, being loved is fairly more important, but you need to make sure people will be afraid of you when they need to.

[Mollynotgemma]

They come hand in hand... ‘keep your enemies closer is a saying that sums it up... sadly people tend to fear the person most like them and love the person that they don’t necessarily respect and can control in a way!
Love is fear! Fear is love.
We will show love for our enemies out of fear!

[Bananaman177]

It's better to have it whichever way you prefer.

Some people don't want to be loved, it makes them sick.

Some people don't want to be feared, that makes them sick.

Instead of following a blanket rule, you should live your life for the goals you personally want to achieve, not go for one or the other because fucking Plato and Socrates said so.

[Wharvey98]

As a leader you should be loved and feared. You will never be able to make everyone love you and your policies. It’s not possible to be universally loved. Thus as a leader you should strive to achieve the love of the majority of your subjects, and be feared enough by the rest that no one is willing to step out of line.

[Soteris]

I would much rather be feared, simply because being loved by so many people would be a large burden on me. At least if people fear me I can have some freedom.

[serious]

Better to be loved. That's the best thing. Second best would be neutral, like people only respect you but they don't love you nor fear you as a person.

[mavric15]

Feared will make it so people will think twice before messing with you but if you are loved then people will die for you.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

It's far better to be loved, but not always possible. Especially if you're not capable of demonstrating love for someone other than yourself.

[Agape93]

Machiavelli lol “a ruler should always err on the side of inspiring terror, as that is what ultimately keeps a population in check”

[WhiteShoulder]

Loved. But I wouldn't mind being feared by my enemies.

[NickiB]

It's better to be loved.

I don't know why anyone would want to strike fear in someone.

It's a horrible way to live life or rule someone.

[The_White_Queen]

Loved because if you are only feared at the first sign of weakness they will cut your throat.

[SexyAshh]

Equal mixture of both.

Like know i love you but won't fail to snap and ruin your will to live if you cross me.

[Amanda269]

Loving people wants the best for you, while fearfull people would love to see you gone.

[SqurrielMaster]

I'd say it's 50/50, people will take advantage of all the love but to be just feared there is no true love there. So that's why I say equal parts are perfect.

[Kabluie]

I used to say feared, but love is better option. Too much fear means you never get to love.

[13IsALuckyNumber]

If you’re loved people actually care about you, if you’re feared people are only following you because they pretty much have to.

[Lightning8]

It depends on what the end goal is. Loved if you want connection and compassion. Fear if you want boundaries and production.

[Deathraider]

It’s good to be both, but Machiavelli noticed that if you had to choose as a leader between one of the two, being feared is better. If you aren’t feared, people could manipulate you or worse attack you.

[IIGrifterSixII]

If you want to be someone of worth. If you are building a legacy. If a small life isn't enough for you. You must be feared. Your will must be unquestionable. My will their hands